Worst thing you've ever done to your kitchen!

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by Aquaphobia, Jun 9, 2016.

  1. AquaphobiaFishlore LegendMember

    I'm puttering around the house today doing housework/cleaning chinchilla cages/doing water changes and I just stopped for a bit of lunch. Grabbed some leftover stew I'd made the other day to finish off the last of it and popped it in the microwave. I unscrewed the lid and left it sitting loosely on top to contain some of the steam. I should also mention that this microwave is twice as powerful as any I've ever used before and can heat a cup of water to beyond boiling in about 30 seconds flat. We refer to it not as a microwave, but a particle accelerator:rolleyes:

    Anyway, put the stew in and turned it on for 90 seconds. It was fairly warm but not yet hot so I popped it in for another 90 seconds. I must have knocked the lid and locked the threads together just a titch. 30 seconds later there's a big boom and I look in to see my stew all over the inside of the microwave, all 2 cups of it!!! What a mess:(

    My best kitchen disaster had to have been back in high school though. My dad loves fried chicken and there was often some leftover in the fridge. The perfect fast dinner for a busy high school student after school! I used to get out the baking tray and preheat the oven but I felt that it was really wasteful to fire up a huge oven just so I could have a single piece of hot and crispy chicken. Then it hit me: I could use the toaster!

    And it was brilliant! The chicken came out piping hot and perfectly crispy, Once. The second time I did it there must have been some grease drippings in the crumb tray underneath from the last time I pulled this stunt and suddenly the toaster wen up in flames: WHOOOF! I can remember making the incredibly-stupid-and-I-swear-I-did-know-better mistake of grabbing the flaming toaster and running through the house to throw it off the deck and into the backyard:;smack

    Anyone else try to destroy your (or your parents') house?;D

  2. Lchi87ModeratorModerator Member

    Those are great stories, glad I'm not the only one with cooking issues!

    When I was still living with my parents, I once tried to make my own sugar wax for removing body hair (TMI, I know; you're welcome!) and part of the recipe was to pour it out on to a smooth surface so it can cool and be kneaded. I must have fudged the recipe somehow because when I poured out the sugar wax onto my parents' granite top island, the mixture cooled alright; it ended up hardening completely and could not be removed from the granite. I spent the better part of that evening chiseling off (literally, with a pick and chisel) pieces of the sticky sugar wax mixture.

    That was the last time I did any DIY in my parents' kitchen.

  3. AquaphobiaFishlore LegendMember

    Hahaha! I didn't even know you could make your own wax. The fact that you had to chisel it off your parents' countertop just elevates the story to heights of greatness!

    My first (and last) attempt at waxing my legs involved a great deal of beer at the end just so I could remove it;D

  4. Lchi87ModeratorModerator Member

    I was there for a good 6 hours (I made a LOT).
    Beer makes everything more tolerable !:;toast
  5. Ben9375New MemberMember

    When I was single, and lived in an apartment (you know, that first single person studio apt), I had a great thirst for steak one night. Stopped on the way home and grabbed a delicious looking Angus NY Strip. How to cook it...since I didn't have a grill and pan frying is hideous.

    The broiler!

    Yeah! So I get the broiler going and put this gorgeous chunk of beef on the broiler pan and put it in the oven. Figure, I've got 15 minutes before it's ready, I'll hop in the shower quick. The bathroom was right off the kitchen. I'm in the shower and I'm thinking, "I smell smoke". Peek out the bathroom door, and there are flames, actual fire, shooting from around the oven door and smoke rolling through the kitchen.

    Grab a towel and a potholder and rip the oven door open, and rescue the steak and the drippins, which were fully involved by then. Get the fire put out, check the oven which was ok and not burning, get dried off and dressed and check the steak, which for it's level of looking ruined, turned out to be pretty tasty.
  6. AquaphobiaFishlore LegendMember

    Mm-mmM! Love that frame-broiled steak;D
  7. maggie thecatWell Known MemberMember

    Easy. The time I made delicious habanero pineapple salsa and also diy pepper spray.

    Helpful hint: if you are grinding a quantity of any sort of scotch bonnet chile do not do it in an enclosed space without eye protection. It took a ridiculously long time to air out the kitchen.
  8. AquaphobiaFishlore LegendMember

    Yikes! I think I would have just decided to move:p
  9. rubyswordValued MemberMember

    My filter started making weird noises in the middle of the night, sure enough, it is clogged. so i take the cartridge out and am about to carry it to the sink when i drop it on my white new carpet that my mo just got for me! my mom was not happy. luckily it came up after 30 mins of using carpet cleaner.
  10. Dragonclaw99Valued MemberMember


    That sucks
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 19, 2016
  11. rubyswordValued MemberMember

    How about when i saved our kitchen?(and possibly the house)
    It was my moms birthday. My dad, my siblings, and i made mom breakfast in bed. we gave her presents, cards, and sang to her. we then brought the breakfast materials downstairs and went on with our day. i was doing homework in the dining room. a weird smell was wafting from the kitchen. I asked my mom about it, she said it was just the salmon we gave her. it grew stronger. i wen to dad. just salmon, he said. it grew even stronger. i went to dad, and he came to check. aparentky he hat forgotten to turn off the stove and had set the tray with moms leftover salmon on the stove. the tray had a big black mark on it, but thanks to my acute nose(or the extremely strong salmon smell) our house is still standing. we even use tha tray.(not for company, though, unless food will cover the scorch marks)
  12. PunkinWell Known MemberMember

    In our previous house, we had a microwave that decided it would still cook when you OPENED THE DOOR! How's that for radiation? It was time for a new microwave, I guess!
  13. AquaphobiaFishlore LegendMember

    OMG! I didn't click "like" or anything because none of the icons fit! We need one for "shock" or something LOL!

    So...do you have any superpowers yet?;)
  14. PunkinWell Known MemberMember

    I wish I did!
  15. pipiroseWell Known MemberMember

    I was boiling 3 eggs on the stove and my friend came over, I totally forgot about the eggs and an hour or so later we hear a BOOM and everyone comes running and sure enough, eggs are EVERYWHERE....wasn't fun to clean up and I'm sure the current residents can still smell eggs
  16. PunkinWell Known MemberMember

    My neighbor did that with chicken a few years ago and lit the kitchen on fire! About 3-4 firetrucks arrived!
  17. Ohio MarkWell Known MemberMember

    Worst thing done to kitchen. Where to start. Hmm. Definitely setting it on fire with an experiment in making homemade soap. A close second was installing a kerosene fridge. The fumes... Three days of trying not to breathe too much and swallowing often and ugly yellow stains on the wall behind the fridge that required re-painting. The latest and least risky -- deciding to use stick-on-tiles to redo the area between counter tops and overhead counters. It seemed like such a good idea... apparently the cupboards were installed by someone with a casual attitude towards accurate measuring. I'm getting a headache just remembering the frustration in trying to cut each tile to very skewed measurements with a knife.
  18. Shady SharkValued MemberMember

    My step brother and I decided to be gorillas. We got into our hoodies and wandered into the kitchen. There were bananas on the counter so we decided since we were gorillas, we'd try to eat them in "gorilla form". They were pretty high and difficult to get to so we decided I would step on his back and grab them off of the counter. I grabbed one too many, so after about ten minutes of trying to figure out how to eat them we needed to get one back onto the counter. I had the brilliant idea of grabbing it and trying to throw it onto the counter. I launched that banana straight over Sheldon's head and it hit the glass cupboard doors. It exploded and glass flew everywhere... My Mother was not impressed... We had to clean it all up and buy new cupboards... Not exactly the way I was planning on spending $200...
  19. NHFarmerValued MemberMember

    I tried to destroy a rented house in a similar manner - though I didn't have the excuse of being a teenager. I was somewhere in my late 2o's or early 30's and put something in the toaster oven to cook.... and then forgot about it. At some point, I smelled smoke and went into the kitchen to find the toaster oven in flames - first I threw salt at the thing, because of a vague (false?) memory that salt put out fires. When that didn't work, I grabbed it and ran out to the driveway and dumped it there to burn out. All three kids, mobile and able to talk by then, had witnessed the entire episode, so when my husband came home from work that evening he was greeted by three VERY excited little toddlers, all wanting to tell him how Mommy burned up the toaster oven - they thought it was great entertainment ("Mommy, do that AGAIN!").

    I did something similar many years later when my hubby and I were caretaking at his parents farm (in my mid-40's at this point!) - since there are several very old buildings, they set up an alarm system that blasts out an alert outside and calls the fire department automatically. I put rice on the stovetop to cook and then sat down to read a very interesting book - at the kitchen table, with my back to the stove, maybe six feet away from it - it must have been a super interesting book because some time later I was alerted to the fact that there was a problem by someone knocking frantically on the front door. I looked around and realized that the kitchen was full of smoke, the alert system was screaming outside, and there were several fire trucks in the driveway! I was simultaneously lucky and unlucky that I lived in a small town - lucky because the volunteer fire fighters all thought it was hilarious and weren't ticked off at me, but unlucky because everyone in town soon knew about it and THEY thought it was hilarious, too.... "Read any good books, lately?" :banghead: Did I mention that I'm married to a remarkably patient man? :)
  20. AquaphobiaFishlore LegendMember

    Hey, I know how engrossing a good book can be! I totally understand;)

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