Why are young people so unsupported in the hobby?

Let me start by saying that I don't have kids and am only 20, so I'm biased and lack experience, but when I was starting out, I begged for 3 straight years for permission to get a fish, and thats not exaggeration. I read all the books I could get my hands on from 4th to 7th grade. I planned out and saved funds and explained that the only cost after setup would be food and maybe meds. However it fell on deaf ears for years. Once I finally got fish, I was told it was stupid, and limited even when I had an income. My parents told me to go to college for marine biology. I didn't want to though. I wanted to learn about and breed freshwater fish, and what I wanted to do didn't require a college degree because the internet exists for my knowledge holes. They'd tell me to pursue it and blatantly not support it.
Fast forward to about a year ago, when I joined this amazing community. I noticed I was not alone in that struggle. It honestly broke my heart because there are people the same age I was, many just as if not more passionate and thirsty for knowledge, with no support and told no outright to very feasible setups.
I get not wanting too many tanks, but if you know how to deal with the fry, you have the funds, and you have a genuine passion, why shut that down? If anything I learned more about budgeting while doing cheap setups, and thats a valuable skill. To be able to ask "do I actually need this?" And to go without when u may be able to splurge is a skill you'll use forever.
Sorry if its long and ranty, I just felt the need to share. And to everyone who was or is in that boat, I hope and wish u the best in your journey. Thanks for reading if u got this far.

 

I feel like your point is pretty valid, im the same age and have had similar experience with the whole "why dont you study marine biology" and people bringing me down because they dont understand how much work fish can be and they just gloss over my efforts by saying im making things worse by "fussing" over them. It is comforting to know its not just me i guess. Also given that at least for me, getting into the hobby was hard. I was one of these people who thought you just plop fish in a tank and thats it but luckily i researched before hand and at one point i almost quit bc it was so complicated. So i agree with what youre saying, hopefully people can start to make the hobby a little more open

 

I had the same problem while I was living with my dad. It took me forever to get him to agree to so much as a betta. To be fair, I was struggling with depression at the time, and he was worried I'd get too depressed to care for my fish. I've got an apartment of my own now, though, and my depression is under control. I can get as many tanks as I can afford. Since I'm in the IT field, that's a lot.

Well, I guess space is a limitation, and I don't want to try my husband's patience too much. I'm getting a 40 gallon, a 20 high, and two 60 gallons, plus a few <5 gallon bowls/jars for culturing daphnia and snails.

I will warn you that making a living breeding fish is hard. That's why I got a computer science degree and plan to breed fish as a hobby. And write as a hobby. And do various crafts as a hobby. I've got a lot of hobbies, lol.

 

Speaking as a parent, depending on the age of the children, you usually have a pretty good idea who is ACTUALLY going to end up being the caretaker pf the fish, so for some, it is just easier to shut the whole idea down.

We let my daughter have a couple of bettas. Due to her age, we didn't expect her to actually do the water changes, but feeding was something she could handle. Then, she decided that feeding fish is boring. Kids being kids is why many get shut down from the get-go. Not really anyone's fault, just how the world actually works. Which, i know, is a far cry to how you young'ins think it SHOULD work.

 

Fear

college degree =/= success

if you can find a niche and excel at it, balance desire & the business side of it ( you have to make a profit to support yourself, take a few accounting classes for basic book keeping & maybe some on business), you can be a success

mentoring/apprenticeship used to be the stop gap

you could learn from other's successes.

reach out & find a mentor even if it's just talking 10 minutes a month

SIL was a nighttime manager at a gas station.

no college degree

someone mentored her, taught her to code on the job
she went into IT
managed IT dept
moved around about 6x over 15 years and now she makes 3x the amount my brother does as a developer.

small business owners - it's about passion and hard work. you have to do both
formulate a business plan - what to do over next 2 years
what to do over next 5 years, 10 years....

-cost/overhead
-income you need to take home to survive

you won't be able to live off it at first, but you should be able to build something up if you can.

my brother told me about amazon in the mid 90s. I laughed. why buy a book online? look at it now.

most small businesses fail, but you can try & be smart about it. good luck

also know, hard work doesn't = success, the planning side does.

also - work in a store. you will NOT just be breeding fish but SELLING them. This means you have to be able to handle the huamn side as well. Just a caution. sorry this is long.

 

While I will agree that a college degree=/=success, it is impossible to get an IT job today without one. Believe me, prior to getting my degree, I tried. My husband has also tried. Also, getting a good mentor is very luck based and not something you should count on.

 

I had fish as a kid. Mind you, I am 20 as well and I have my little fish breeding operation starting. When I was a kid, we would get everything setup, then as the 6 year old I was, would pour half the jar of food into the tank because 'they liked it'. Then my parents had to clean it up and deal with it. I think I was about 6 to 8 at the time.

Fast forward to today, my mom thinks angelfish are cool and kinda wants to get some. Me knowing my mother, who would forget her own head if it wasn't attached to her, I tell her no. My father thinks it is somewhat dumb, but he is neutral in the matter. Oh how the tables have turned in this for me lol.

On a side note of raising fish. I would say one of the best things you can do to make a profit off of it is networking. What I mean is start by making a product (fish) and find people to sell them to, but you need to ensure it is good- i.e. culling bad ones to ensure a good line. You could start by selling to a local fish store and developing the relationship there. Cory on YouTube has an excellent video series about this. If you establish a good relationship with one type of fish, selling them other types is already very easy.

The best example I have is that I sell Dwarf Water Lettuce to my LFS. The stuff basically reproduces free for me. I take them a large bag, think like 3/4 a loaf of bread size wise, every week or two and I only ask for 10$ in store credit. Could I get more? Probably, but its more about relationship to me currently. I also use this as a talking point to say I have angelfish, mystery snails, corydoras, all that I have bred, but are stilling growing them out. Since they already know me, they are more apt to buy from me. The manager actually really wants me to breed pygmy corys, which I can do, but don't have the space yet.

If then you can transition to working at the store, you can get it even better. Then you have a direct way that you can sell your fish, which is twice as good because then you can use the line "I bred these myself!" and if the fish do really well for that client, they will go and tell all their buddies about where to get 'X' fish.

 

My goal has since changed from breeding and selling fish but I knew full well I'd need a day job. Nowadays I'm more interested in ecosystems as a whole, plants specifically and seed shrimp. I love my skrimpy boys.

I can understand the idea that the parent may end up taking care of the fish, and thats where I would suggest some sort of collateral, like if u stop taking care of it, no more fish or pets in general, and make a time limit until they can try it again,or they have to responsibly get rid of it, like taking it to a lfs. I tried that with my mom and she didn't budge. That was around 2 years of begging in. I figured at that rate it'd be pretty evident it wasn't a phase.

Either way I understand the apprehension on the part of the parent, but just no without even an option to get your foot in the door seems harsh. Like why not something simpler to start to prove dedication, such as a houseplant. One that needs watered regularly, and if they keep it in good health as best they can for about a year, consider a yes.

Anyway, that's just my .02 and I do respect the point of the opposition

 

While I will agree that a college degree=/=success, it is impossible to get an IT job today without one. Believe me, prior to getting my degree, I tried. My husband has also tried. Also, getting a good mentor is very luck based and not something you should count on.

My brother doesn't have a degree either even though he's taken enough classes to have 2 degrees.

I've worked support 24 years. if you are talented, you will advance. It is about who you know sometimes, but brother & SIL both got their start in support and advanced. And she did not know how to code, her boss taught her. Srs. It is 100% about the person - when you get hired it's about how personality will mesh with group/organization, not just what you know or think about your skill set.



I'm not sure what to tell you. They are not the common rule, but it is not impossible.

You just have to do it and make sacrifices for what you want.

brother compromised and became a manager then later a developer once foot was in door. he was writing code (fixing old code to new standards) as a side job for no pay for nearly 2 years as he was salary. he finally transitioned to DEV and later went into foundational DEV. 18 months ago, he was at the Microsoft meet up they have for customers in Florida. Huge.

That's the thing with modern business across the board - it's no longer a Mon-FRI 9 to 5 but dynamic.

you get your foot in the door doing something and network. You will NOT start at your dream job.

same with building a business - it is all networking from supplier to customers.

To OP - look at how business proposals are set up for small business loans, that gives you an idea the 'burden' ahead of you.

you will have to 'interface' with people, so that's an aspect you may need to address /work on as I'm not sure what experience you have.

if you are distributor, it's less hassle, but if you are a retail seller there is that soft touch customer expect.

Networking/interfacing with ppl cares over into every field. Don't be intermediated by it. Read some books - I'm currently reading a much older book ' Getting into your Customer's Head'. how to find out customer needs, create brand loyalty & ability to resell to them.

Breeding fish sounds great, but it would not be a hobby but a job.

if you never have, watch some you tube videos about fish farm tours small & large.

 

I dont think this is a fish problem... its a boomer parent problem.

 

Living here on the farm, we've had just about everything. Have never been without dogs and cats, I've dabbled in fish keeping several times, am a serious chicken person. The kids have brought home snakes, lizards, toads, possum babies (that had to be bottle fed), horses, goats, iguanas, hamsters, gerbils, tadpoles, birds (bought and wild rescues). If it slithered or crawled or flew or swam, one of the girls would bring it home.
I'm a hoarder and always get things that have more than one use so I've always had the gear to care for whatever it was. The best thing about it coming in from the woods is that when they got bored, it could go back to the woods. But it was a really important lesson for them to learn.

 

the hobby was a lot different when I was a kid.. I think the most recent generations are the first to experience fishkeeping the same way we currently are.. information is readily available and the options are unlimited

 

I had fish as a kid. Mind you, I am 20 as well and I have my little fish breeding operation starting. When I was a kid, we would get everything setup, then as the 6 year old I was, would pour half the jar of food into the tank because 'they liked it'. Then my parents had to clean it up and deal with it. I think I was about 6 to 8 at the time.

Fast forward to today, my mom thinks angelfish are cool and kinda wants to get some. Me knowing my mother, who would forget her own head if it wasn't attached to her, I tell her no. My father thinks it is somewhat dumb, but he is neutral in the matter. Oh how the tables have turned in this for me lol.

On a side note of raising fish. I would say one of the best things you can do to make a profit off of it is networking. What I mean is start by making a product (fish) and find people to sell them to, but you need to ensure it is good- i.e. culling bad ones to ensure a good line. You could start by selling to a local fish store and developing the relationship there. If you establish a good relationship with one type of fish, selling them other types is already very easy.

The best example I have is that I sell Dwarf Water Lettuce to my LFS. The stuff basically reproduces free for me. I take them a large bag, think like 3/4 a loaf of bread size wise, every week or two and I only ask for 10$ in store credit. Could I get more? Probably, but its more about relationship to me currently. I also use this as a talking point to say I have angelfish, mystery snails, corydoras, all that I have bred, but are stilling growing them out. Since they already know me, they are more apt to buy from me. The manager actually really wants me to breed pygmy corys, which I can do, but don't have the space yet.

If then you can transition to working at the store, you can get it even better. Then you have a direct way that you can sell your fish, which is twice as good because then you can use the line "I bred these myself!" and if the fish do really well for that client, they will go and tell all their buddies about where to get 'X' fish.

This is good advice in any business. Find the buyer before you have the excess product. Go to your potential clients ask them what they would most like to see additional offerings for. Then figure out your price point and find comparisons. You will have to be able to offer a product for less than they can obtain it or sell them on the fact that your product has added value. Don't skim here do the market research for real. Skipping market research goes one of two ways... Either you are overpriced and no one buys or you are underpriced and forgetting to pay yourself a salary. Don't forget businesses make profit only after they pay out for all yes all of the hours of labor. Even the owners hours have to be a paid and listed expense.

 

While I will agree that a college degree=/=success, it is impossible to get an IT job today without one. Believe me, prior to getting my degree, I tried. My husband has also tried. Also, getting a good mentor is very luck based and not something you should count on.

Agreed- credentials matter. For jobs as well as small business loans. May not necessarily be a degree, but training with some kind of credential to show for it is important. There are degree programs in aquaculture for both food and ornamental fish

 

I think the parents' apprehension has some roots:
1. Possibly you have a history of getting interested in something and then dumping the responsibility on them. In this case, it doesn't have to be fish keeping, any new interest that you are about to pursue induces fear. This being about something that they don't know anything about just doubles the fear.
2. They are afraid you will be obsessed and start neglecting other important things like school. Very important to the parents.
3. Rarely, sometimes your family is on such a tight budget that, combined with their belief that this is a useless activity, they see no way of stretching them for it.

Usually, it is a mixture of these. There are many good arguments for why fish keeping is a good idea but they won't be willing to hear them until they're convinced that you will do well on your undertakings including school. Been at both ends, I can understand both sides.

 

Fishkeeping is a responsibility and I suppose unless the parent is in the hobby themselves, they won’t be necessarily be thrilled at the thought of having to take care of the aquarium when the kids get tired of their fish (which many kids do).

I tried to get my kids interested in the hobby but had very low success. I bought a 20 gallons for my son, got the fish he wanted (that would fit and coexist) and set it in his room. I ended up doing all the maintenance, which I didn’t mind because I like it. The tank leaked after a few years. I put his fish in my main tank and that was it. He didn’t care about them so I wasn’t going to pursue.

 

I know every situation is always different. But I agree it’s not always a lack of support thing but more of the fact of who will have to deal with this if interest is lost.

There is also the aspect of who is liable when things go wrong. Whether you rent or own, fish tanks can be a scary thing and make a big mess. There are a lot of things that a kid does not have to think or worry about day to day. As a 28 year old I have gained a lot of perspective over the last few years as I’ve become a homeowner and parent. You start to understand your parents more as you become them! Lol I did always have their buy off as they saw the passion but I did hit a point in HS that life and distractions were too much and I tore everything back down and went on a 10 year Hiatus from fish keeping.

Now I have been back in the hobby with a couple display tanks and a small breeding setup in the basement, hoping to have some fun and maybe make a little money. Just keep in mind it’s one thing to have a supplemental income and a full blown business. The beauty of something like breeding fish is that it is literally like building blocks, just with fish tanks. So build a rack and fill one row with tanks. After that see if you can make enough to fill a second and so on from there. If you fill the rack, add another and from there a room could turn into a warehouse.

This ties to my next point regarding needing education. I agree in your aspiration doesn’t require a degree. But I think the point of someone trying to persuade you that way is that it still leaves a door open if things never get big enough to truly support you and related to your passion. The other side of this is that it’s also just not conventional. Most people know someone who is a teacher, cop, business career, IT, etc. not everyone knows someone who has 100 fish tanks running breeding fish for a living. So when you tell someone that’s your plan it’s really not that strange to get some off looks or lack of motivation. Now huge empires are built of of a dream everyday so that shouldn’t stop you!

Now looks at a business like Aquarium Co-Op. he worked and managed a LFS and had a fishroom at home. Eventually he got to a point that he opened his own store. But with this though he also became a popular YouTube influencer with his quirky personality and putting out good genuine content. With this he also stands up a website selling most essential products and plants. His cone tent draws people from all over the country to his site.

The craziest part is that people would go on his site and buy $100 of basic supplies available at most local and chain stores. But you buy it from
Him because you want the to be apart of the “club” you can slap the sticker on your waterchange bucket and everyone knows you follow Aq Co-op. And that right there is called being a “Brand” now don’t get me wrong I love Cory and what they put out. They do offer products at good prices and I rather support them than Amazon and he’s getting more private label products which I think is cool. He makes a living running his store, but he makes his good running his brand.

So for you to get to a level of making living, you need to be able to establish a brand. Something to bring people to you to want your fish.

 

My brother doesn't have a degree either even though he's taken enough classes to have 2 degrees.

I've worked support 24 years. if you are talented, you will advance. It is about who you know sometimes, but brother & SIL both got their start in support and advanced. And she did not know how to code, her boss taught her. Srs. It is 100% about the person - when you get hired it's about how personality will mesh with group/organization, not just what you know or think about your skill set.



I'm not sure what to tell you. They are not the common rule, but it is not impossible.

You just have to do it and make sacrifices for what you want.

brother compromised and became a manager then later a developer once foot was in door. he was writing code (fixing old code to new standards) as a side job for no pay for nearly 2 years as he was salary. he finally transitioned to DEV and later went into foundational DEV. 18 months ago, he was at the Microsoft meet up they have for customers in Florida. Huge.

That's the thing with modern business across the board - it's no longer a Mon-FRI 9 to 5 but dynamic.

you get your foot in the door doing something and network. You will NOT start at your dream job.

same with building a business - it is all networking from supplier to customers.

To OP - look at how business proposals are set up for small business loans, that gives you an idea the 'burden' ahead of you.

you will have to 'interface' with people, so that's an aspect you may need to address /work on as I'm not sure what experience you have.

if you are distributor, it's less hassle, but if you are a retail seller there is that soft touch customer expect.

Networking/interfacing with ppl cares over into every field. Don't be intermediated by it. Read some books - I'm currently reading a much older book ' Getting into your Customer's Head'. how to find out customer needs, create brand loyalty & ability to resell to them.

Breeding fish sounds great, but it would not be a hobby but a job.

if you never have, watch some you tube videos about fish farm tours small & large.

How long ago was this? I'm talking about the last half a decade, not 24 years ago. I am aware it was possible back in your day. It's not anymore. And, speaking as someone who has tried to make a living breeding geckos, the issue isn't breeding. It's selling.

Until you build up your reputation, which can take years, almost no one will want to buy from you. Starting a small business today is next to impossible without some way to support yourself, and your business, for the time it will take to build some sort of following.

I've been in your shoes. Trust me, it's not as easy as it sounds.

 

My parents were poor, so I didnt get support. They were fine with me keeping fish as long as it was my money. I remember my first aquarium was a used 20 gallon setup for $90. I paid for it by saving up christmas and birthday money. It was a good lesson for me because from then on if I want something I'll find a way to pay for it

 

Let me start by saying that I don't have kids and am only 20, so I'm biased and lack experience, but when I was starting out, I begged for 3 straight years for permission to get a fish, and thats not exaggeration. I read all the books I could get my hands on from 4th to 7th grade. I planned out and saved funds and explained that the only cost after setup would be food and maybe meds. However it fell on deaf ears for years. Once I finally got fish, I was told it was stupid, and limited even when I had an income. My parents told me to go to college for marine biology. I didn't want to though. I wanted to learn about and breed freshwater fish, and what I wanted to do didn't require a college degree because the internet exists for my knowledge holes. They'd tell me to pursue it and blatantly not support it.
Fast forward to about a year ago, when I joined this amazing community. I noticed I was not alone in that struggle. It honestly broke my heart because there are people the same age I was, many just as if not more passionate and thirsty for knowledge, with no support and told no outright to very feasible setups.
I get not wanting too many tanks, but if you know how to deal with the fry, you have the funds, and you have a genuine passion, why shut that down? If anything I learned more about budgeting while doing cheap setups, and thats a valuable skill. To be able to ask "do I actually need this?" And to go without when u may be able to splurge is a skill you'll use forever.
Sorry if its long and ranty, I just felt the need to share. And to everyone who was or is in that boat, I hope and wish u the best in your journey. Thanks for reading if u got this far.

I think this is a good topic to discuss- because kids should be taught more about fish, science & responsibility.. BUT I am 27, and I have a 9 year old Daughter. She's asked me for various pets over the years. First it was a kitten. When the kitten became a cat, she still loved him, fed him & brushed him but became bored. We are currently on Guinea Pig #3 she'll help feed, but it mostly becomes MY job to clean the bedding, feed, clip nails, medicate, bathe. For Christmas she wanted a parakeet then a lizard, then a Betta. Personally I just think my child is not yet responsible enough for her own fish-tank..& I'm guessing a lot of other parents think that way too.
& it differs from parent to parent, some kiddos are mentally ready others are not, that's my take on it.

 

Let me start by saying that I don't have kids and am only 20, so I'm biased and lack experience, but when I was starting out, I begged for 3 straight years for permission to get a fish, and thats not exaggeration. I read all the books I could get my hands on from 4th to 7th grade. I planned out and saved funds and explained that the only cost after setup would be food and maybe meds. However it fell on deaf ears for years. Once I finally got fish, I was told it was stupid, and limited even when I had an income. My parents told me to go to college for marine biology. I didn't want to though. I wanted to learn about and breed freshwater fish, and what I wanted to do didn't require a college degree because the internet exists for my knowledge holes. They'd tell me to pursue it and blatantly not support it.
Fast forward to about a year ago, when I joined this amazing community. I noticed I was not alone in that struggle. It honestly broke my heart because there are people the same age I was, many just as if not more passionate and thirsty for knowledge, with no support and told no outright to very feasible setups.
I get not wanting too many tanks, but if you know how to deal with the fry, you have the funds, and you have a genuine passion, why shut that down? If anything I learned more about budgeting while doing cheap setups, and thats a valuable skill. To be able to ask "do I actually need this?" And to go without when u may be able to splurge is a skill you'll use forever.
Sorry if its long and ranty, I just felt the need to share. And to everyone who was or is in that boat, I hope and wish u the best in your journey. Thanks for reading if u got this far.

I am very lucky to have parents who support my hobby. My first tank wat

Let me start by saying that I don't have kids and am only 20, so I'm biased and lack experience, but when I was starting out, I begged for 3 straight years for permission to get a fish, and thats not exaggeration. I read all the books I could get my hands on from 4th to 7th grade. I planned out and saved funds and explained that the only cost after setup would be food and maybe meds. However it fell on deaf ears for years. Once I finally got fish, I was told it was stupid, and limited even when I had an income. My parents told me to go to college for marine biology. I didn't want to though. I wanted to learn about and breed freshwater fish, and what I wanted to do didn't require a college degree because the internet exists for my knowledge holes. They'd tell me to pursue it and blatantly not support it.
Fast forward to about a year ago, when I joined this amazing community. I noticed I was not alone in that struggle. It honestly broke my heart because there are people the same age I was, many just as if not more passionate and thirsty for knowledge, with no support and told no outright to very feasible setups.
I get not wanting too many tanks, but if you know how to deal with the fry, you have the funds, and you have a genuine passion, why shut that down? If anything I learned more about budgeting while doing cheap setups, and thats a valuable skill. To be able to ask "do I actually need this?" And to go without when u may be able to splurge is a skill you'll use forever.
Sorry if its long and ranty, I just felt the need to share. And to everyone who was or is in that boat, I hope and wish u the best in your journey. Thanks for reading if u got this far.

I am very lucky to have parents who support my hobby. My parents got me my first tank as a birthday present but after that I have paid for my tanks almost completely on my own. Aquariums have taught me to be more responsible. The aquarium hobby is amazing for young people as it teaches responsibility, money management, and so much more. However, I can see the other side of things as well. Children are seen (and sometimes rightfully so) as irresponsible. And if a child is irresponsible, who would have to take care of the tank? The parents. I think this is a major turnoff with parents seeing as they might be too busy to care for fish.

 

I whole heartedly agree with ya there on both sides. I've been thinking more about it and I guess the part that really steams my clams is when the child has tanks and shows responsibility. Where they have thriving tanks, manage money, maintain them, and the parent just refuses to acknowledge it as time well spent. Mine did this for a very long time, to the point where my dad even said, if I want more fish, flush the ones I have and get new ones.

If the kid is 13 or younger, I wholeheartedly understand the apprehension, but if they want it for months on end with no letting up, or already have it and want to do more, it just seems wrong to hold them back...within reason. If electric is a problem, tell them to pay some. Its a teachable moment and they might learn to streamline. If tanks get neglected, cut em back in the number allowed.

I just wanna say again I appreciate all the responses. This is a great forum full of great people.

 

I was allowed to have a betta at 10 and I took terrible care of it. I wish my parents hadn’t let me lol. I proved I was responsible enough for my own pets at 12, when I was the main caretaker for our 15 year old cat (I wanted a dog at the time so I did anything I could to prove I was responsible) then I got a dog and she’s been happy and healthy since I got her almost 3 years ago! Now I’m almost 16 and have a tank with a couple happy, healthy guppies and I’m learning more about fish care every day. I wish my parents had made me wait to get fish until I was more responsible. Now they’re fully supportive of my many pet-related hobbies as long as I pay for them myself

 

its a boomer parent problem.

You do realize that most parents of teens and younger 20 something year olds aren't Boomers, right? I've got a 17 year old and a 22 year old, and I'm way closer to being a Millenial than a Boomer. I'm firmly Gen X. A 90s kid. Other than trying to be insulting, what's the point in bringing this up?

 

You do realize that most parents of teens and younger 20 something year olds aren't Boomers, right? I've got a 17 year old and a 22 year old, and I'm way closer to being a Millenial than a Boomer. I'm firmly Gen X. A 90s kid.

ill rephrase- its a bad parenting problem. if you cant treat your child like a person and either 1. explain to them why they cannot have this hobby whilst living with you or 2. atleast let your kid bring to you a feasible plan to have a specific pet and decide together if it will work, you are probably a bad parent. so many parents are just "because i said so" and give their children no experience in negotiation, compromise or responsibility. Boomer is a word for a generation.

 

I've got a boomer dad. He's probably the most supportive person on the planet. The ignorant "boomer" is a bad stereotype which doesn't apply to all people. It also makes sense why parents would be against doing this sort of thing. It's hard to find a good job without a degree. Most of the famous fish breeders had a different job before they became breeders. I just don't agree with a lot of what's said here.
Please don't take this the wrong way as I think you're all phenomenal people.

 

To be completely honest, I find the least support from people my age rather than older people. I am a teenager and my parents have been beyond supportive of my hobby. My mom always told me when I was little to be myself and she would always support me that way. I guess I didn't really grasp the whole of what that meant until this part of my life.

I have ADHD. Because of this, I get hyperfixated on strange things. There have been a lot of obsessions that I've had and my mom has always been supportive of them. When it comes to fish though, it's a whole different level of support. When I liked cars, I obviously wasn't going out and getting a real car collection. I had a diecast collection, but that hyperfixation was a rather cheap one. Regarding fish though, it's something much more consuming. Nevermind the price, of course that's a consideration but that is mostly covered by me. I'm talking hours and hours and days and days of work. Things like building stands, the fact that the electrical use in my room is basically a fire hazard, the amount of space I'm using, and the gas tanks we've used just for LFS trips, and my parents still do it all for me. My mom is really invested in the fish too. We are both people who are very empathetic with animals. We just overall adore everyone of my water pets. We will both bubble about how cute my pleco looks in his cave or make jokes about how the cory with missing fins doesn't know he's different.

People around my age think its weird. Obviously that's probably just a teenager thing, but even some of my friends think it's just pointless. Most adults in general though think it's cool.

 

What an interesting thread, a great read indeed. Now time for you to give me my experience & baffle you all

I got my first tank last year. I had been wanting fish for 3 years prior to this and I was always told no. No reason given, I just assumed it was a ‘my house my rules’ situation as my parents are very unsupportive and stubborn in general. Let alone fish.

Fast forward to now. I still get comments or remarks about my tanks, but I will never understand why. Have I had a lot? Sure. However I have always been responsible for everything: Feeding, maintaining and heck, I even paid the first year of bills! Bills weren’t very high either, as I was using RO from my LFS anyway.

I should add I’m 21 now. I started when I was 20. I have always paid for everything for my tanks, so money, as far as my parents were concerned
was a non-issue in my mind. I’m also a university student. At the peak of remote learning last year, I was running 5 tanks in my bedroom, but that definitely did not mess with my grades. I finished the year 3% off a first class grade, the highest we have in the UK. So in my case of ‘balancing between fish and studies’, I never thought that argument would have any grounding.

I’ll never understand my parents’ problem with my fish tanks. I might be wrong, but I attribute this to poor parenting in my experience. I was never given the opportunity to have a rational conversation about my tanks, nor have my hobbies in general been supported. My parents aren’t great. They always offer negative opinions but not much support. This sadly has always extended past fish. They’d be happier if I spent money on video games than on pursuing my hobby and by extension, developing a whole load of skills that come with this hobby.

I hope all of you who have had similar issues living under your parents’ roof are able to pursue your hobby without backlash in the future. Buy your own place and keep as many tanks as you like!

 

Starting any business is risky. Your parents are not wrong in avoiding taking a risk in something they don't understand.

Generally as whole, NA is a bit more averse to the fish breeding industry which is why there is such a low supply of quality livestock....

 

I whole heartedly agree with ya there on both sides. I've been thinking more about it and I guess the part that really steams my clams is when the child has tanks and shows responsibility. Where they have thriving tanks, manage money, maintain them, and the parent just refuses to acknowledge it as time well spent. Mine did this for a very long time, to the point where my dad even said, if I want more fish, flush the ones I have and get new ones.

If the kid is 13 or younger, I wholeheartedly understand the apprehension, but if they want it for months on end with no letting up, or already have it and want to do more, it just seems wrong to hold them back...within reason. If electric is a problem, tell them to pay some. Its a teachable moment and they might learn to streamline. If tanks get neglected, cut em back in the number allowed.

I just wanna say again I appreciate all the responses. This is a great forum full of great people.

My daughter asked if she could buy "something" at Petco. This was about a month ago. After browsing around for a bit, she came to me with what I thought was a Betta container. Said it was her new "Pet" ............
It was 3 Marimo Moss Balls hahahahahahaha.
She now has a jar, with 3 pet moss balls in her room. She even named them! Lol, but Sometimes with kids, you gotta start small, right? I have bladder snails in 2 of my tanks & tonight she asked me if she could have some for her moss jar. I told her I'd have to do some research on it first. But its a funny story I thought you guys would like.

 

I had the same problem growing up and there are several reasons that I understand now as an adult. My parent's bought a house with laminate flooring which is very susceptible to water damage of any sort. Another reason in question is when an aquarium structure or equipment fails or simple "I forgot" human error occurs, will home insurance cover water damage? Furthermore, can the household afford the increase utility cost (electric and water) on a fixed income? The aquarium hobby is not cheap by any means. While there are alternatives to lower the cost, the time and effort is at the parent's discretion.
The other factors to consider are what the parent's financial goals, psychological stress of work/life balance, education level, living paycheck-to-paycheck vs having extra cash flow to fund their child's hobby, etc.
My perspective, the aquarium hobby is a luxury expense for a living furniture. To excel in the hobby requires a lot of time, knowledge, investment, attention and effort that simply many young kids/teens do not have for the long haul. At first, a child is interested until they are the ones doing all the work (Look at The King of DIY's daughter). I have seen and heard many times a child's hobby being passed off to the parents because they lose interest. A waste of money when it could have been put into better use like mentioned earlier; financial goals.
I understand now why my parents were unsupported of the hobby, but at the same time, I understand the importance of investing in a child's interest. To find that middle ground is going to be complicated to traverse into an informed decision that will make parents feel is a worthwhile investment.

 

My parents have been very supportive and have put up with alot. They bought me and my brother a ten gallon aquarium and all of the supplies as a gift when I was a lil kid, helped us out with water changes until we got used to it. My brother didn't like the responsibility of taking care of them doing the water changes etc so he gave his tank to me. I have learned so much along the way and made my fare share of mistakes on the way but haven't we all? Always trying to improve. I got a job as soon as I turned 14 (The legal minimum age) and have learned to appreciate things at a young age. (unlike some people I know who's parents buy them everything and are spoiled rotten little brats) My leopard gecko was hard on my mom as she hates reptiles lol, or so she thought.... Learned to love the little guy who is turning 8 this year. Still doesn't like his food but who does? XD

My daughter asked if she could buy "something" at Petco. This was about a month ago. After browsing around for a bit, she came to me with what I thought was a Betta container. Said it was her new "Pet" ............
It was 3 Marimo Moss Balls hahahahahahaha.
She now has a jar, with 3 pet moss balls in her room. She even named them! Lol, but Sometimes with kids, you gotta start small, right? I have bladder snails in 2 of my tanks & tonight she asked me if she could have some for her moss jar. I told her I'd have to do some research on it first. But its a funny story I thought you guys would like.

That is so sweet!

 

I guess, that most parents have the experience that when a pet comes in the household by request of the children, that after a while the parents will become the caretaker instead of the children. I can totally get that.
In my own experience, my parents were already aquarists since the 1960's. They were proud that one of the children was so interested in aquaristics as well. But despite of that passion, I was also told to get a proper education first. And the fish hobby should come second at all times. But I'm thankful that my passion for fish was a keeper. Despite of the fact that my education and profession had nothing to do with fish keeping, fish keeping was something I've kept myself always busy with all my life. It brought me to a reputable name within the serious aquarium scene in my own country and abroad as an aquarist, breeder, writer and exhibitor within this field. I would only encourage young people to follow their dream but also tell them to be realistic. For you do need to know if making a living out of the fish hobby is hard , if that's your goal. But the way I've handled this, I can say that you can perfectly have a job and do your thing in the aquaristc field as well.

 

I guess, that most parents have the experience that when a pet comes in the household by request of the children, that after a while the parents will become the caretaker instead of the children. I can totally get that.
In my own experience, my parents were already aquarists since the 1960's. They were proud that one of the children was so interested in aquaristics as well. But despite of that passion, I was also told to get a proper education first. And the fish hobby should come second at all times. But I'm thankful that my passion for fish was a keeper. Despite of the fact that my education and profession had nothing to do with fish keeping, fish keeping was something I've kept myself always busy with all my life. It brought me to a reputable name within the serious aquarium scene in my own country and abroad as an aquarist, breeder, writer and exhibitor within this field. I would only encourage young people to follow their dream but also tell them to be realistic. For you do need to know if making a living out of the fish hobby is hard , if that's your goal. But the way I've handled this, I can say that you can perfectly have a job and do your thing in the aquaristc field as well.

That's a good point. When my daughter was a teenager she begged me for a horse. I told her that when her mother and I no longer had to beg her to take care of the pets she already had we'd talk about it. That never happened, so I figured she really didn't want the horse after all.

 

That's a good point. When my daughter was a teenager she begged me for a horse. I told her that when her mother and I no longer had to beg her to take care of the pets she already had we'd talk about it. That never happened, so I figured she really didn't want the horse after all.

And don't forget that teenagers can be quite fickle in general. Then they like this and after a while they like something else. And a lot of pets look adorable (especially when they're young). I get that. But once youngsters realize that they should take care of the pet for a reasonable number of years, the interest in the pet might go down. Especially, when they start hanging out with their social group. Let's be honest, friends are becoming more important for many youngsters than their pets at some point. But once they're used to pets before becoming a teenager, most of the time, the passion for pets remains. In general, youngsters should realize that no matter what kind of animal they like to keep as a pet, those pets need care. Which means, a time investment that you should take seriously. For you just don't leave a pet all by itself, just because you lost interest...

 

I begged for 3 straight years for permission to get a fish

Glad I am not the only one suffering during my teenage years, oh wait, I did never get permission to get a fish tank even till now .
To be fair to my parents, I was too short and lazy during my teen years and will do very little water change which the fishes will suffer, so it was good that my parents stopped me when I was a teenager, I doubt I could make a healthy environment for the fishes when I was a teen.