This made me furious...

sophi

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I hope this is okay to post here- it's kind of just a rant!

So today, I came close to losing most, if not all of my shrimp. Why?
Well, I teach music lessons as a part time job at my house, and my shrimp tank is in the room I teach. I thought it would be a nice addition and help calm the kids. All of the kids love it- they'll sit on the ground and watch the little shrimp swim around the tank and the snails just slowly inch their way across the glass.
All the kids are so good and respectful around the tank. Except one.

So I was teaching my most difficult student earlier... She has a hard time listening and is pretty disrespectful to me, but she loved the tank as well. I was hoping to use that to my advantage in hopes of it making her calm and using it as a "reward". Like "if you do good in today's lesson, I'll let you feed the shrimp!" etc. It never worked the way I wanted but I tried...
Well today, the lesson went horrible. She was completely out of control and just about sent me over the edge. When her mom arrived to pick her up, I asked her to step outside with me to discuss her daughter's behavior, leaving the girl alone with the tank. What possibly could go wrong?
Everything. When we finished talking, the girl and mom left and I headed to my kitchen to get a well deserved snack. A few minutes later, I decided "Lets creep on the baby shrimp again" so as I'm heading over to the tank, there are wafers EVERYWHERE. I believe about 6, which doesn't sound a lot but when you're talking about 6 wafers for only 20 adult shrimp in a small little tank like that, that's a disaster waiting to happen. And it had been in there for at least 20 minutes, so I immediately just started grabbing these things out of the water. Food was everywhere, littering the entire bottom. Of course, the shrimp weren't complaining but seeing that that amount of food could have killed my shrimp from over feeding or even cause an ammonia spike... I mean, if I hadn't walked by that tank to be a baby shrimp creeper, I guarantee you they would have died. Adults, berried females, babies, dead. I was so furious, I was swearing like a sailor. ^^; But knowing that something you worked on so hard and spent so much time and money on could have been rude because a kid simply refused to listen to what you have said in the past.... Ugh, I'm still raging. She's tried this before, and I strictly told her to never feed them without my presence or permission. And when she left, she acted as if she had done nothing wrong.

I'll be having a talk with her and her mother.... again. I hope I manage to keep calm, but when someone messes with my animals, I have little to no patience. I may have to refuse to continue teaching her just because she refuses to listen and is so disrespectful. I really don't know what I'll say though. My mind is dying to just scream but obviously I can't do this.

-sigh- okay, that feels better now that it's off my mind. If anyone's had any similar events do share hehe.
 

junebug

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No one feeds my fish but me

But I know endlercollector had a kid kill off a huge portion of her colony when their parents were house sitting. I can only imagine

Glad you happened to walk by the tank!
 

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I know it not fish but I'll tell you anyway. I used to have a hamster called ripple and he used to love it in his exercise ball running around the living room. Untill the kid from next door came in and kicked the ball across the living room with a hamster inside. I could have hit the kid... The poor hamster didn't eat for two days! And he usually couldn't get enough of his food. Safe to say that was The last time that kid came in my house
 

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I'm sorry about all the stress that cause you! Even though it doesn't come as much of a consolation, I don't think many people think as highly as aquariums as active hobbyists do[I've stopped believing most people respect your stuff regardless what it is. I've had people drop my phone just because they "wanted to test out the gorilla glass!"]. They wanna help feed the fish[but not really care how YOU feed them] or to get back at you damage or hurt the fish in some way[which sucks because they are animals that don't deserve that] and just ugh.

Honestly, I've gotten to where I don't talk about my fish *THAT* much[not specifics] and I don't really talk to new people about them until I really start trusting them. The animals are like my babies, I protect them. That even means from some people you think wouldn't want to hurt them.
 

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HI Sophi,

I hate you had this experience. Sounds like 1 pupil that I would have to let go. After I give the Mom and child one of these:



Best wishes for your tank! I hope you can resolve the issue to your favor.

Ken
 

smee82

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I put lock on my snakes home not so he wouldnt get out but so noone could get in. All m tanks are open I like. Plants growing out of them but if I I ever get one. wit a li.d that will get a lock too
 
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sophi

sophi

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Yeah, she even tried lifting off the lid once and almost stuck her hand inside RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I'm like "No, you don't do that". She's 8, so she knows better than to do this but there's a bunch of issues unfortunately.

And ya LyndaB, after today, I'll be taking away everything and covering the tank when shes there. And I sure won't be leaving her alone anywhere in my house IF she ends up staying as my student. I'll probably be letting her go though.

I'm just so glad my shrimp weren't harmed. I'm hoping she didn't do anything else when I wasn't there like sticking her hand in there or anything... She won't be near my little babies ever again. >
 

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Its to bad you did not get pictures of it. Of course the shrimp come first. It would of been something to show the mom bit she probably saw when she went in there. What I personally would do is tell the mom the cost of each individual shrimp, and the food. How if anything happened like that again you would want them to compensate for your loss. As it was the child's fault. Starting with the food she wasted/used. Mom won't like that to well I am sure. It might not fix all your problems but tonight stop that from happening again. You could even demand the payment before you do the lesson or tack into the bill at the end. However you want to do that. As for behavior, if you do not want to let her go, waynot suspended her for an ammount of time. It would force mom to deal with the issue if she wants the girl to continue going there.
 

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That's horrible!! I'm sorry that happened!!
I'm glad the shrimpies didn't get hurt though.
 

cichlidman

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I would record the kid being rude and show the parent. Also I would charge extra.
 

LyndaB

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You really think the mother doesn't know how her daughter behaves? Trust me, it would come as NO surprise at all.
 

kevymd

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I don't know how to ask these questions, but might there be something wrong with the girl? I ask because I was that kid, once upon a time, and I suffer from pretty severe ADD. As a kid rules went in one ear and out the other. I ended up having problems with my own Piano teacher for that same reason (she didn't have fish, she had a bunny, and her daughter was a friend of mine.) During lessons the curtains had to be closed, and she generally cleared off the surround area of anything distracting.

I don't think the little girl is malicious, or a bad kid, but maybe just has an underlying problem. She probably didn't see what was wrong with giving them lots of food, I mean look at the society we live in. I'm not saying I'm right either, not by a long shot. I don't know this girl or her mother, I can't really make a call one way or another. Just take a little time to cool off, coddle your shrimp (thank god you went to check on them), and maybe think of some things you can do to prevent it in the future. Put up a small sign. Sit her down and show her the Nitrogen Cycle. Put the food out of reach. Certainly do talk with her mother about her behavior, and maybe have the little girl involved. Kids get yelled at all the time for breaking the rules, but I think part of that is that no one explains why there are rules. We think that children should just obey without question, but that isn't their nature.

Just some ideas for you From a former 'Bad Kid'
 

endlercollector

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I taught for years and there were the adults who had been horrible kids, the occasional one who had been awful and turned out well, and then the nastiest people who came from really nice families. Any explanation? None, really. I just didn't put up with discipline problems. As I told them, "Esta no es una democracia, es una dictadura."

Unless you're really desperate for the money or the parents have some kind of power over you, fire the student. My daughter was fired by 2 piano teachers when she was 6 and later 9 because she wouldn't learn from them. It was embarrassing, but I truly appreciated their decision, and I refuse to pay for another music lesson until my kid sits at the piano and plays everything she supposedly learned
 

Angelbear

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endlercollector said:
I taught for years and there were the adults who had been horrible kids, the occasional one who had been awful and turned out well, and then the nastiest people who came from really nice families. Any explanation? None, really. I just didn't put up with discipline problems. As I told them, "Esta no es una democracia, es una dictadura."

Unless you're really desperate for the money or the parents have some kind of power over you, fire the student. My daughter was fired by 2 piano teachers when she was 6 and later 9 because she wouldn't learn from them. It was embarrassing, but I truly appreciated their decision, and I refuse to pay for another music lesson until my kid sits at the piano and plays everything she supposedly learned
I wish more programs did something simmiliar. It would make teachers jobs easier, and parents more responsiable. Though it would also be the teachers job to try everything first before it came to that. Sometimes its just not a good match though and there is nothing youcan do.
 
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sophi

sophi

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kevymd said:
I don't know how to ask these questions, but might there be something wrong with the girl? I ask because I was that kid, once upon a time, and I suffer from pretty severe ADD. As a kid rules went in one ear and out the other. I ended up having problems with my own Piano teacher for that same reason (she didn't have fish, she had a bunny, and her daughter was a friend of mine.) During lessons the curtains had to be closed, and she generally cleared off the surround area of anything distracting.

I don't think the little girl is malicious, or a bad kid, but maybe just has an underlying problem. She probably didn't see what was wrong with giving them lots of food, I mean look at the society we live in. I'm not saying I'm right either, not by a long shot. I don't know this girl or her mother, I can't really make a call one way or another. Just take a little time to cool off, coddle your shrimp (thank god you went to check on them), and maybe think of some things you can do to prevent it in the future. Put up a small sign. Sit her down and show her the Nitrogen Cycle. Put the food out of reach. Certainly do talk with her mother about her behavior, and maybe have the little girl involved. Kids get yelled at all the time for breaking the rules, but I think part of that is that no one explains why there are rules. We think that children should just obey without question, but that isn't their nature.

Just some ideas for you From a former 'Bad Kid'
You're actually 100% correct. She has severe ADD and anxiety, which I knew from the start but unfortunately, she uses this to her advantage. If she doesn't want to play the violin, she will sit on the ground and have a fit, interrupting me and ignoring every word I say. She'll then start saying how I'm stressing and pressuring her, even after just saying "please stand up". :/ Her mom has told be she does this but... I can only say so much to her because she's just a kid.
I think what makes me angry/hurts the most is how I put in so much extra work for her in hopes of getting her to respect me and my home. I would show her all of my animals, let her hold my lizard, see the dogs, all that in hopes of making lessons fun and using it as a reward. After last night, she lost this privilege and won't be getting special treatment anymore.
I might be sounding harsh but her mom has actually told me to not give in to her behavior. The whole fish tank thing just did it for me. I mean, I'm just a college student so yeah, I don't make a ton of money between my classes and part time jobs but one thing I love investing money in are my pets. The shrimp tank cost me around $150 just to set up and the shrimp were another $30. But it's something I love and is worth spending the money on. So yeah, coming that close to losing them... ugh, what a nightmare. :S I'm just so glad I walked by that tank the time I did. I don't even want to imagine what I'd be dealing with if I hadn't.

I will most likely be letting her go next week, depending on how she does when her mom's there helping me control her. But odds are, I'll be letting her off since she's come close to actually destroying things in my home including plants, picture frames, my violin (which cost $3,000)..... so I have a lot of thinking to do. It's sad since I really wanted to help her, but she doesn't have the focus or well, mindset to be taking lessons because of the problems she has. Very tricky situation, since I don't want to give up on her but it's not worth the stress she puts me through each week. :S
 

77Impala

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ScarletKitsune said:
Another reason why I don't wanna have kids.
IMO most of these kids problems today are because of their parents not instilling proper moral conduct into their offspring. My kids have never been allowed to act as most do today. My parents did not tolerate it and neither do I or my wife!
 

aylad

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Look, I'm a teacher. I teach in a public school, which is one of this nation's greatest assets: every kid has the right to an education (whether they want it or not ). So I teach whomever walks through my door... At least until I have to remove them so that other kids can learn in peace.

You do NOT teach in a public school. You are not bound by the same requirements I am. You are not obligated to teach this student. Cut your losses. Maybe (although I wouldn't bet on it) that will clue the mother in that her piano budget could be spent on something more productive... like therapy or, if necessary, meds. (Not that there's anything wrong with piano lessons, but if the kid needs behavioral intervention, that should take priority, right?)
 
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sophi

sophi

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Well, I was texting her mother just now (just preparing a text to save as a draft then send off in the morning) because I can't have a lesson this weekend. Totally forgot I was heading out of town...

And well, I accidentally hit send.... at 3:17 a.m. Whoops. Hope she doesn't think I'm crazy haha.

But basically, I told her how disappointed I was that the student did what she did, and how the tank would be covered from now on to limit distractions but also as a sign that she lost her privileges to it. I also mentioned how what she did could have killed the entire tank and its inhabitants, and how that would have happened had I not walked by. The food will be gone, the tank will be completely covered all the way around, and she won't be seeing my animals as a "reward" anymore until she works through the entire lesson, not just 5 minutes.

If all else fails, I'll be letting her go. We'll see next Sunday (not this coming Sunday) to see how she does. Maybe the week off of lessons will give her a break and make her come back wanting to learn. I can only hope lol. At least I know my little shrimp will not ever be in harms way again.
 

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