The really bad joke thread!

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Akari_32

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Whats not to love about horribly punny jokes?? One of my personal favorites:

"I moustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later."


 

Aquarist

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Why was Santa Clause depressed?

Because of his ELFishness.

Ken
 

AlexAlex

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Why isn't Winnie The Pooh ever lonely?

Because he always has his HONEY with him!

(I made this one up when I was a teenager).
 
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AlanGreene

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Noah started building several arks for various parts of animal kingdom. One was a split level job for all the fish – a multi-storey carp ark

Why are fish so smart?…They are always in schools

Two goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says “You drive, I’ll man the guns!”

Oh cod, I can’t take any more of these fish puns, I’m outta this plaice!
 
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ryanr

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.

Ok, that's enough
 

sirdarksol

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What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Two men walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second man says "That sounds good. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. The photon responds "no, I'm traveling light."

Oxygen and magnesium together? OMg

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says "Get the heck out of here." Argon doesn't react.

Neutron has had a fun night at the bar. He wants to pay his tab. Bartender says, "For you, no charge."

Does anyone else think these chemistry jokes are getting a bit boron?
 
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