The Month After Christmas

  1. Butterfly

    Butterfly Moderator Moderator Member

    'Twas The Month After Christmas

    'Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house -
    Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

    The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste.
    All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

    When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
    When I walked to the store (felt like I carried some lumber.)

    I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
    The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

    The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
    And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

    As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
    And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

    I said to myself, as I only can
    "You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

    So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
    Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

    Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
    Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

    I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
    I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

    I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
    I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

    I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
    But isn't that what January is for?

    Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
    Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

    ~ Author Unknown ~
  2. d

    dahly Valued Member Member

    How true, how true! Why do the holidays and overeating go hand in hand? ??? Thanks for sharing!
  3. chickadee

    chickadee Fishlore VIP Member

    Thanks for a good laugh. I copied it off to put on my refrigerator door ;D .

  4. j

    joe Valued Member Member

    Thats Awesome :D
  5. OP

    Butterfly Moderator Moderator Member

    Glad you enjoyed it, a friend sent it to me.
  6. 0morrokh

    0morrokh Fishlore VIP Member


    Ahem. I'm done now.

    :D :D ;D ;D
  7. J

    Jason Well Known Member Member

  8. R

    RoboDude Valued Member Member

    Hahaha! That's a good one, Butterfly!!! ;D