The worst thing that I've dreaded for so long has happened - Robert F. Kennedy IV has passed away. Honestly, I knew it was going to happen one day, since Bobby was a moderately aged betta by this point (only three weeks until his fourth birthday...), but I'd always believed that it would happen later. He was perfectly fine even a few days ago - no sign of diseases, parasites, and the water parameters were normal : Ammonia 0, Nitrites 0 and Nitrates 15/20. I feel like I could have done something to let him live longer, that I wasn't a good enough owner, that it was all my fault that I couldn't identify what he died of. I feel guilty how I didn't remember to autospy him before I buried him, or how I didn't pause to think twice about internal parasites. I keep thinking I could have saved him, he could have still lived, that he died such a young age compared to all the other bettas. His new 10 gallon was almost done - he would always flare at all the items I brought in one by one. He was such a spunky and wonderful fish, always playing with the filter and jumping to eat out of my hand. I feel like I'll never have the same bond with a new fish again - but again, was it just all in my head? Did I expect too much of him, believeing that everything would be a perfect fantasy? Was it just me - my fault - that I took this loss so hard, since my imagination always creates something that's not? Or was it just always plain bad luck, which I'm prone to stepping into? I've calmed down a bit now, and I'm really thankful if you actually read this whole emotional mess. Not everyone comes along and cares about a student crying over her dead fish on the Internet. As a final note, I hope Bobby goes to a wonderful place, and joins the real Robert F. Kennedy. Say hi and an apology to Nemo, by the way. Remember that I always loved you so much, even though you may have hated me for never giving you the amount of bloodworms you wanted. Swim in peace, Bobby. Swim in peace.