Terrible Stroke Of Bad Luck

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nikm128

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Well if you couldn't guess it, my days of fishkeeping haven't been going so great. It's starting to be more depressing than enjoyable and fulfilling. All the things that have gone wrong over the last few months: Mbuna tank torn down and sold fish since they wouldn't stop killing each other, Two total tank die offs(not so much my fault but still upsetting), almost my entire shoal of rainbowfish died and had to be replaced, I tried goldfish again and they all died, One of my discus died and I almost lost more after that, All my cory's died off one by one with no symptoms, My white skirt tetras all have bad genes and either get tumors or wasting diseases before they die(way too soon), Blue gourami died of things I couldn't have stopped, I've had to rehome some of my very first fish, and now I'm probably going to lose another discus in a couple days. I love my fish and all this, but part of me is starting to want to sell everything so I can get out of this extremely painful rut.
 

Crispii

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I'm so sorry about your loss. Hope that you would feel better and get back to fishkeeping.
 
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nikm128

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Appreciate it, I'm trying to find the will to stick it out a month or two longer. If this road doesn't continue I'll keep going, if not I don't know exactly what I'll do but it'll probably involve quite a bit of selling things off. Maybe I'll be able to make something good out of it and just do one big dream tank with most of things I've ever wanted in it and I'll get them from the highest quality places possible. That's probably only wishful thinking though...
 

DecoyCat

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nikm128
Im sorry you lost your fish
I wont ask questions, its not the time for that. I have been in exactly the same place as you before, I sold up, sold every little bit of fish stuff I owned, I was over it, I was disheartened, sad, all that. But weeks, months later im missing my fish, the day to day chores looking after them, the joy of seeing them grow and develop personalities, they way they love me for food, those things. I have gave up twice, going back now for the 3rd time, starting from scratch, from nothing, slowly building up, going through hurdles again, but this time im determined. It costs a lot of money, blood sweat and tears to look after fish properly, I know you know this. Its ok to feel done, there is no shame in selling up, if you need time, take time. But my advice would be to not sell your equipment, it costs arms and legs to gain that stuff and more to replace it again. If I can help in any other way please yell out, mail me if you want to talk about anything or everything, or need help, if I can I will. Things will change, we are never stuck in the same situation to long...
 

StarGirl15

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Wow so sorry for your bad luck! Im sure if that ever happened to me I would be thinking of tearing down too. Keep it going though you are one of our knowledgeable ones! Your advise has helped me a time or three!
 
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nikm128

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SabrinaBrook said:
nikm128
Im sorry you lost your fish
I wont ask questions, its not the time for that. I have been in exactly the same place as you before, I sold up, sold every little bit of fish stuff I owned, I was over it, I was disheartened, sad, all that. But weeks, months later im missing my fish, the day to day chores looking after them, the joy of seeing them grow and develop personalities, they way they love me for food, those things. I have gave up twice, going back now for the 3rd time, starting from scratch, from nothing, slowly building up, going through hurdles again, but this time im determined. It costs a lot of money, blood sweat and tears to look after fish properly, I know you know this. Its ok to feel done, there is no shame in selling up, if you need time, take time. But my advice would be to not sell your equipment, it costs arms and legs to gain that stuff and more to replace it again. If I can help in any other way please yell out, mail me if you want to talk about anything or everything, or need help, if I can I will. Things will change, we are never stuck in the same situation to long...
That's what has me hanging on still, I know I'll miss them and the chores they require. It's quite the rollercoaster of emotions right now, I have down days like this, then some where I think "I should totally try and breed discus" or "I should do a tank with almost nothing but a massive mixed group of rainbowfish" and things like that. I do my best to look at the good side, but all the things I listed (probably a few more too) happened over about 7 months just this year. So it's gone from wondering where my tanks will be in a couple months, to wondering which fish I won't have anymore in a few weeks. (A bit personal and sappy here so feel free to skim over this part) To top it all off, just two weeks ago things came to an end with my girlfriend of a little more than two years too.
StarGirl15 said:
Wow so sorry for your bad luck! Im sure if that ever happened to me I would be thinking of tearing down too. Keep it going though you are one of our knowledgeable ones! Your advise has helped me a time or three!
I'm glad I've been able to help you, even if I do need to step back for a little bit I would probably still be active on here. Probably not as much but still fairly active.
 

DecoyCat

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All things are relevant, even personal things too, Im sorry to hear your relationship ended, that's sad too. Keep your chin up, do what you feel you need to and things will slowly improve as time goes by. Such a hard situation, take care of yourself first ok.
 

kallililly1973

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Sorry for your losses and bumpy road as StarGirl15 said you have also helped me a lot. Take a deep breath relax and see how things go for you in the near future. Hope this doesn't sound harsh but i don't think any of us could ever make the money back we spend on this hobby along with the hard work of giving all our inhabitants the best lives possible. I went through one of these ruts about 6-8 months ago when i lost 3-4 of the first fish me and my girlfriend picked out for our community 55. It sucks we all know that but like i said it's better than them sitting in overstocked 5-10 gallon tanks... Hope things turn around for you! Hang in there!!
 
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nikm128

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I'm not one for giving up so I'll do everything I can to get myself and my fish through all this. I appreciate all the compassion/sympathy/everything right now.
 

Cognac82

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Bought flagfish. They died in quarantine. Bought Scarlet badis. They died in quarantine. My last remaining shrimp died. Then over four days' time I had one fish of a different species die in my 55 each day for no apparent reason, including my favorite keyhole cichlid. No symptoms and now they're gone. Afraid to restock anything or try anything else and yet I keep having these thoughts like ooh I should try to breed my peacock gudgeons. Or maybe I should breed mystery snails. Or maybe I should try a brackish setup! And I still have my 8.5 gallon sitting there empty. Sometimes I want to put all the tanks on Craigslist and then sometimes I want to get 8 more tanks. Depends on the minute. I think from now on I will always have at least one tank and I have to accept that sometimes keeping fish is going to suck. I hope you don't quit and I really hope you don't lose any more fish, especially your discus.
 
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nikm128

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The other discus I mentioned above died today
 

Minxxy

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Ugh, I'm so sorry.
 

Sheldon13

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That’s too bad.
 

StarGirl15

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Atomicfish

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Fish loss is a part of fish keeping but you learn and try to improve things. It takes Time and a lot effort before you get it right. Never give up. If you do you stop learning.
 

TheFishmonger

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Fishloss is part of the hobby. I kept goldfish for years, went on vacation left the feeding to my family, a week before I returned they all died of ammonia and overfeeding. I kept those fish for nearly a decade. I currently got back into fish keeping and I am cycling two tanks. In one tank I had zero losses, in the other 60% losses. If you are having a bad time, take a break for a month or two, don't restock anything.. just walk away for a bit and come back with a plan and better mindset. I walked away from fish keeping for 6 years. But I would miss the days I had my fish.
 

Claire Bear

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The fun of fish keeping can end sorrow with a big die off. If it were me, I might get off the high end/high maintenance like Discus and move to understocked tanks for a bit. If you still feel uncomfortable then it might be time to sell off. Or at the very least move to one, easy keep species and tank.
 

TheFishmonger

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Claire Bear said:
The fun of fish keeping can end sorrow with a big die off. If it were me, I might get off the high end/high maintenance like Discus and move to understocked tanks for a bit. If you still feel uncomfortable then it might be time to sell off. Or at the very least move to one, easy keep species and tank.
I agree. I thought about telling the OP to get off the high maintenance fish and do some simple hardy fish till the memory and disappointment fades.
 

BarbaraLocke

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To keep going during times of loss is one of the hardest things we do - and you have certainly had more than your share of grief recently! I hope that you’ve been comforted by all the people here who are concerned about you, and want things to get better for you. I can certainly understand that getting out of your fish hobby completely feels like the thing to do right now, and there’s nothing wrong with taking a sabbatical from fish keeping - but I agree with others who are urging you to at least keep your equipment, and most importantly stay active here on FishLore! You have a lot of knowledge and experiences to share ya know! And remember that the best riders aren’t the ones who have never fallen off a horse, but rather the ones who have fallen off a hundred times!
 

TheFishmonger

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BarbaraLocke said:
To keep going during times of loss is one of the hardest things we do - and you have certainly had more than your share of grief recently! I hope that you’ve been comforted by all the people here who are concerned about you, and want things to get better for you. I can certainly understand that getting out of your fish hobby completely feels like the thing to do right now, and there’s nothing wrong with taking a sabbatical from fish keeping - but I agree with others who are urging you to at least keep your equipment, and most importantly stay active here on FishLore! You have a lot of knowledge and experiences to share ya know! And remember that the best riders aren’t the ones who have never fallen off a horse, but rather the ones who have fallen off a hundred times!
I agree. Definitely keep all your equipment. After having thrown them away I regretted it because I had to buy it all back again when I wanted to get back into the hobby. Back then I didn't have plants, but now I do. So if I were to break it all down, I would keep all the plants in one tank.
 
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