Terrible Stroke Of Bad Luck

nikm128

Member
Well if you couldn't guess it, my days of fishkeeping haven't been going so great. It's starting to be more depressing than enjoyable and fulfilling. All the things that have gone wrong over the last few months: Mbuna tank torn down and sold fish since they wouldn't stop killing each other, Two total tank die offs(not so much my fault but still upsetting), almost my entire shoal of rainbowfish died and had to be replaced, I tried goldfish again and they all died, One of my discus died and I almost lost more after that, All my cory's died off one by one with no symptoms, My white skirt tetras all have bad genes and either get tumors or wasting diseases before they die(way too soon), Blue gouramI died of things I couldn't have stopped, I've had to rehome some of my very first fish, and now I'm probably going to lose another discus in a couple days. I love my fish and all this, but part of me is starting to want to sell everything so I can get out of this extremely painful rut.
 

Crispii

Member
I'm so sorry about your loss. Hope that you would feel better and get back to fishkeeping.
 
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nikm128

Member
Appreciate it, I'm trying to find the will to stick it out a month or two longer. If this road doesn't continue I'll keep going, if not I don't know exactly what I'll do but it'll probably involve quite a bit of selling things off. Maybe I'll be able to make something good out of it and just do one big dream tank with most of things I've ever wanted in it and I'll get them from the highest quality places possible. That's probably only wishful thinking though...
 

DecoyCat

Member
nikm128
I'm sorry you lost your fish
I won't ask questions, its not the time for that. I have been in exactly the same place as you before, I sold up, sold every little bit of fish stuff I owned, I was over it, I was disheartened, sad, all that. But weeks, months later I'm missing my fish, the day to day chores looking after them, the joy of seeing them grow and develop personalities, they way they love me for food, those things. I have gave up twice, going back now for the 3rd time, starting from scratch, from nothing, slowly building up, going through hurdles again, but this time I'm determined. It costs a lot of money, blood sweat and tears to look after fish properly, I know you know this. Its ok to feel done, there is no shame in selling up, if you need time, take time. But my advice would be to not sell your equipment, it costs arms and legs to gain that stuff and more to replace it again. If I can help in any other way please yell out, mail me if you want to talk about anything or everything, or need help, if I can I will. Things will change, we are never stuck in the same situation to long...
 

StarGirl

Member
Wow so sorry for your bad luck! I'm sure if that ever happened to me I would be thinking of tearing down too. Keep it going though you are one of our knowledgeable ones! Your advise has helped me a time or three!
 
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nikm128

Member
SabrinaBrook said:
nikm128
I'm sorry you lost your fish
I won't ask questions, its not the time for that. I have been in exactly the same place as you before, I sold up, sold every little bit of fish stuff I owned, I was over it, I was disheartened, sad, all that. But weeks, months later I'm missing my fish, the day to day chores looking after them, the joy of seeing them grow and develop personalities, they way they love me for food, those things. I have gave up twice, going back now for the 3rd time, starting from scratch, from nothing, slowly building up, going through hurdles again, but this time I'm determined. It costs a lot of money, blood sweat and tears to look after fish properly, I know you know this. Its ok to feel done, there is no shame in selling up, if you need time, take time. But my advice would be to not sell your equipment, it costs arms and legs to gain that stuff and more to replace it again. If I can help in any other way please yell out, mail me if you want to talk about anything or everything, or need help, if I can I will. Things will change, we are never stuck in the same situation to long...
That's what has me hanging on still, I know I'll miss them and the chores they require. It's quite the rollercoaster of emotions right now, I have down days like this, then some where I think "I should totally try and breed discus" or "I should do a tank with almost nothing but a massive mixed group of rainbowfish" and things like that. I do my best to look at the good side, but all the things I listed (probably a few more too) happened over about 7 months just this year. So it's gone from wondering where my tanks will be in a couple months, to wondering which fish I won't have anymore in a few weeks. (A bit personal and sappy here so feel free to skI'm over this part) To top it all off, just two weeks ago things came to an end with my girlfriend of a little more than two years too.
StarGirl15 said:
Wow so sorry for your bad luck! I'm sure if that ever happened to me I would be thinking of tearing down too. Keep it going though you are one of our knowledgeable ones! Your advise has helped me a time or three!
I'm glad I've been able to help you, even if I do need to step back for a little bit I would probably still be active on here. Probably not as much but still fairly active.
 

DecoyCat

Member
All things are relevant, even personal things too, I'm sorry to hear your relationship ended, that's sad too. Keep your chin up, do what you feel you need to and things will slowly improve as time goes by. Such a hard situation, take care of yourself first ok.
 

kallililly1973

Member
Sorry for your losses and bumpy road as StarGirl15 said you have also helped me a lot. Take a deep breath relax and see how things go for you in the near future. Hope this doesn't sound harsh but I don't think any of us could ever make the money back we spend on this hobby along with the hard work of giving all our inhabitants the best lives possible. I went through one of these ruts about 6-8 months ago when I lost 3-4 of the first fish me and my girlfriend picked out for our community 55. It sucks we all know that but like I said it's better than them sitting in overstocked 5-10 gallon tanks... Hope things turn around for you! Hang in there!!
 
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nikm128

Member
I'm not one for giving up so I'll do everything I can to get myself and my fish through all this. I appreciate all the compassion/sympathy/everything right now.
 

Cognac82

Member
Bought flagfish. They died in quarantine. Bought Scarlet badis. They died in quarantine. My last remaining shrimp died. Then over four days' time I had one fish of a different species die in my 55 each day for no apparent reason, including my favorite keyhole cichlid. No symptoms and now they're gone. Afraid to restock anything or try anything else and yet I keep having these thoughts like ooh I should try to breed my peacock gudgeons. Or maybe I should breed mystery snails. Or maybe I should try a brackish setup! And I still have my 8.5 gallon sitting there empty. Sometimes I want to put all the tanks on Craigslist and then sometimes I want to get 8 more tanks. Depends on the minute. I think from now on I will always have at least one tank and I have to accept that sometimes keeping fish is going to suck. I hope you don't quit and I really hope you don't lose any more fish, especially your discus.
 
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nikm128

Member
The other discus I mentioned above died today
 

Minxxy

Member
Ugh, I'm so sorry.
 

Sheldon13

Member
That’s too bad.
 

Atomicfish

Member
Fish loss is a part of fish keeping but you learn and try to improve things. It takes Time and a lot effort before you get it right. Never give up. If you do you stop learning.
 

TheFishmonger

Member
Fishloss is part of the hobby. I kept goldfish for years, went on vacation left the feeding to my family, a week before I returned they all died of ammonia and overfeeding. I kept those fish for nearly a decade. I currently got back into fish keeping and I am cycling two tanks. In one tank I had zero losses, in the other 60% losses. If you are having a bad time, take a break for a month or two, don't restock anything.. just walk away for a bit and come back with a plan and better mindset. I walked away from fish keeping for 6 years. But I would miss the days I had my fish.
 

Claire Bear

Member
The fun of fish keeping can end sorrow with a big die off. If it were me, I might get off the high end/high maintenance like Discus and move to understocked tanks for a bit. If you still feel uncomfortable then it might be time to sell off. Or at the very least move to one, easy keep species and tank.
 

TheFishmonger

Member
Claire Bear said:
The fun of fish keeping can end sorrow with a big die off. If it were me, I might get off the high end/high maintenance like Discus and move to understocked tanks for a bit. If you still feel uncomfortable then it might be time to sell off. Or at the very least move to one, easy keep species and tank.
I agree. I thought about telling the OP to get off the high maintenance fish and do some simple hardy fish till the memory and disappointment fades.
 

BarbaraLocke

Member
To keep going during times of loss is one of the hardest things we do - and you have certainly had more than your share of grief recently! I hope that you’ve been comforted by all the people here who are concerned about you, and want things to get better for you. I can certainly understand that getting out of your fish hobby completely feels like the thing to do right now, and there’s nothing wrong with taking a sabbatical from fish keeping - but I agree with others who are urging you to at least keep your equipment, and most importantly stay active here on FishLore! You have a lot of knowledge and experiences to share ya know! And remember that the best riders aren’t the ones who have never fallen off a horse, but rather the ones who have fallen off a hundred times!
 

TheFishmonger

Member
BarbaraLocke said:
To keep going during times of loss is one of the hardest things we do - and you have certainly had more than your share of grief recently! I hope that you’ve been comforted by all the people here who are concerned about you, and want things to get better for you. I can certainly understand that getting out of your fish hobby completely feels like the thing to do right now, and there’s nothing wrong with taking a sabbatical from fish keeping - but I agree with others who are urging you to at least keep your equipment, and most importantly stay active here on FishLore! You have a lot of knowledge and experiences to share ya know! And remember that the best riders aren’t the ones who have never fallen off a horse, but rather the ones who have fallen off a hundred times!
I agree. Definitely keep all your equipment. After having thrown them away I regretted it because I had to buy it all back again when I wanted to get back into the hobby. Back then I didn't have plants, but now I do. So if I were to break it all down, I would keep all the plants in one tank.
 

angelcraze

Member
Awww I'm really feeling your discouragement today. My heart goes out to you. I have been in your sitch, I thought I would end up quitting the hobby too. But what I ended up doing, was taking a break instead. I stopped selling plants and fish (because I was having illness issues anyway) collaborated a bunch of fish and downsized tanks. I kept all the equipment I collected over the years though, so I agree with all the valuable info you've gotten already.

Now things have calmed down, I've treated my tanks and I'm back to no mysterious losses and healthy fish again. I'm finally at the point I feel comfortable trying to raise baby fish, grow plants again and set up some tanks again. I really miss having baby fish and feel my hobby is rekindled.

I know you are doing the best you can, these things are a learning experience for all of us. Reading this, I understand how this feels overwhelming. Continue to do your best, we are here to help you too.

You are my friend, I enjoy all your helpful informative posts, so whatever you do, pls don't go away completely! Feel free to post whatever you want to, I'd love to try and help you get through this.
 
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nikm128

Member
Yeah, equipment costs and arm and a leg everywhere. I'm gonna try and stick it out to the light at the end of the tunnel. I appreciate all the love from you guys!
 
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nikm128

Member
Well I'd dare say everything is going alright so far, no fish have died and I managed to "save" two goldfish from a carnival that are now doing well also. Everyone looks and acts healthy, and the tanks are clean so I can't ask for a ton more can I?
Things are also smoothing out with my ex (though saying that is still difficult to swallow) so at least for the moment, waiting has paid off.
 

Truckjohn

Member
I feel for you.

Within the last week - over half the bettas in my sorority have come down with some nasty skin condition. I am trying to figure out what happened. The only thing that "changed" was the addition of some crushed coral so I could cut back on the use of aquarium pH buffer chemicals.....

Unfortunately - they have been doing worse in the quarantine tank than they were in the main tank and none of the treatments I have tried have worked yet... I am so tempted to just dump all the sick fish and "buy" some success (aka new fish).... Especially for the $$$ I have spent on fish meds in the last week....

But then I won't learn anything.

Don't give up. See if you can get some clue for what is going on with your tanks.. I mean shoot - it could be spoiled food for all you know.... See if you can get them to turn the corner.
 

Debbie1986

Member
My little fish burial plot in my back garden area reminds me of my mistakes and losses. This includes 1 elephant ear female Betta name Penelope that I tried 2x to add to a sorority. I have a hunch if she'd stayed solo she'd have lived or at least lived longer. 2 days after I got her, she just never thrived. My male elephant ear I have had since early June and is doing well. Her and my KoI betta ( Ophelia) their deaths hits me hard - both happened during same week. I felt I failed them, but I'm so novice & green I had to overcome those feelings because I have so many fish.

A co-worker had a cat, it died and she never replaced it. I just think that's a lost opportunity for more enrichment of a potential pet. As a long time dog person, I get a dog knowing they will live 10 or so years if I'm lucky ( Rottweilers.) But each dog teaches me more about dogs and about myself. Same with fish. I have learned so much since May and I know there's a lot more I have to learn.

Glad to hear about the goldfish & ex. back to back stress like that is very hard. Give yourself time
 
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nikm128

Member
And just like that, life gives me the uno reverse card. Screwed up my wrist/hand and now I can barely play for marching band and will probably need a surgery to fix it.
 

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