Tail of betta love and loss from a newbie

hello. i’m new to the forum, and hope to find some much needed support and perspective regarding bettas. i love my bettas. and then they die. not all of them have died, but certainly some of my favorites. i know it all comes down to water quality. and human error. which is water quality. sigh.

i must admit, i got in deep, and i’ve been over my head, since i got me first tank in february of this year. now i have six 9.2 gallon tanks. as for life, each tank has one betta, four to six pygmy corys, and one mystery snail, one ramshorn snail, and several nerite snails, since they won’t reproduce in fresh water. each tank has a gravel substrate, a variety of java ferns, java moss, bucephalandra, all bound to lava rocks with superglue and thread.

as for equipment, each tank has a thermo smart 100 external filter, and i pimped these filters so hard i felt dirty. they are packed with seacham matrix as well as the foam that came fitted in the canister, and i even slipped in a trimmed piece of water polishing material. i fitted the hoses with double tap quick release valves that allow for flow adjustment water turn off, and each tank has an air stone, also with valves for air flow control. the aquarium ends of the hoses are fitted with glass lily pipes, poppy for outflow, and mesh wire screens cover the intake pipes.

titan, a grand fellow with long flowy fins, succumbed to what must have been a grisly death, when a fin got caught in the tiny glass groove of the intake pipe, and he drowned! it was terrible! but i learned i had to protect fragile fins from intake pipes.

zoom zoom jumped out of a small quarantine tank where i put him for a few days because i didn’t have another tank set up for the new fish i had just gotten, and he didn’t like small. i found him on the floor covered in dog hair. i thought he was still alive, and put him in salt water and then he shuddered and was truly dead. sigh. i left the lid off of the tank. another hard learned lesson.

and then there was goro. goro died last night. he’d been so happy. so zoomy. always swimming around and around. then he got sluggish. stayed on the bottom. swam on his side. developed popeye. i used metroplex, kanaplex, aquarium salt, an epsom salt dip. not all at once! but over the course of a couple weeks, starting with the aquarium salt. and of course water changes, and i tested the water, to make sure it was staying stable. he continued eating! not a lot, but he didn’t stop eating. i was truly heartened by what i thought was improvement, and now he’s dead too. sigh. water quality? it had to be.

back to my topic, betta love and loss. i love my bettas, but i feel like i love them to death. is this part of the hobby i just have to accept? i know there has been a huge learning curve for me. the perils of over feeding, too much flow, not enough, too much of a water change, not enough of a water change, a sudden cessation in filter function, stable temperatures, unguarded intake pipes, uncovered aquariums. sometimes i know i do things wrong, to err is human, but sometimes i believe i’m doing everything right, and still it’s not enough to keep everyone alive.

oh, and i have a 29 g peapuffer tank, and two 44 g sorority betta tanks, and another tank full of daphnia, and a freezer full of bloodworms, and so many fluval bug bites, i sometimes forget that i ever had a life outside of cleaning and maintaining all my tanks. there is so much to know, so much nuance, and then there’s the emotional component, when the little fish friend who was doing so well! until he wasn’t, but for whom you read a hundred articles on disease, and another hundred on treatments, whom you then crossed your fingers and treated, and hoped for a good outcome, only to see another beloved another betta become snail food. that’s the part that is getting me down. it’s just a fish, i say to myself, trying to assuage the sorrow, and yet the responsibility for these tiny losses of fantastically scaled life haunts me.

 

Yeah, death and getting attached to fish (especially bettas) is a big part of the hobby. I’m very sorry for your loses.

I have had three bettas (two were rescues). My first betta was very healthy and wonderful. I loved him so much, he lived with me for almost 4 years. He developed a tumor and there was nothing that I could do. He passed away. My second betta was a female her name was Diamond. She was a rescue I saved her from petco, she was at the bottom of her cup gasping for breath. I thought she was fine but 5 days after living in my tank she died suddenly. I then decided I needed to save a different betta. I learned from my mistakes and got advice from people here, I got the right medication and so far he is doing amazingly.

We can put our heart and soul into caring for them, but sometimes it’s not enough. Bettas are wonderful little guys.

If you have any questions about you bettas don’t hesitate to ask this website. Fishlore is a wonderful website.

 

been there, done that!

welcome to Multiple tank syndrome!

I went from 2 to 15 tanks in less than year. Down to 9 tanks, but I was at 8 tanks for a while.

My advise, figure out a cleaning routine that works for you.

having multiple tanks, I learned a lot more fast but there's a huge learning curve to fish keeping.

Most bettas you buy are already a year old and less than optimal conditions.

Plants are great buffers to help with health of the fish. I try to add plants to all my tanks - which can get very expensive!

do not be discouraged! as your knowledge grows, you will then apply it to your fish and it will get better

JMO and experience so far. Best wishes

 

Welcome to Fishlore!!!

Sorry for all of your losses!!! Like many of us, you are definitely in the grip of MTS (multiple tank syndrome), lol!

Bettas are really great, wonderful fish with really big personalities. They capture your heart before you even know what is happening!

All of those web sites that say bettas are "hardy" and are "easy beginner fish" are wrong, especially when it comes to bettas from big chain pet stores that are over bred and genetically weak. And you don't always get the best/right advice from the people who work in these stores, either. There's conflicting advice found on web sites, too, so it's hard to know what to do in every situation. Unfortunately, you can do everything right, have the best husbandry, and still have losses because of bettas with weak genes.

Weekly water changes and live plants always help. It sounds like your tanks are now set up well, too.

There are quite a few members here on Fishlore with tons of experience in keeping bettas who are always willing to help!

It sounds like you have learned a lot already. Don't be discouraged! Things will get better! Fish keeping can be very rewarding. And IMO, bettas really are the best, so welcome to team betta!!!

 

You seem to be thinking of everything for your tanks, but you mention that you think water quality may be an issue. However, you have not mentioned your water parameters or your levels of nitrates etc. These would be useful to know.

Of course the losses may not have anything to do with water quality. Seeing how bettas are kept in many shops, those that died from non-accidental causes may have already been weak.

 

I think that it is important to always keep in mind than fish are one of the most difficult, if not THE most difficult, animals to care for. Every part of their environment has to be managed. Aquariums are life support pods, and managing life support is exactly as easy as it sounds.
I think everyone starting out has been baptized by fire. You clearly put so much love, time, effort, and undoubtedly money, to care for these little guys. Don't be so hard on yourself!

Fish keeping is definitely not for the faint of heart. To be completely honest, I'm pretty sure a relatable fish keeping experience could easily be created by just taking The Iliad and replacing some of the characters with fish.

 

Yeah, death and getting attached to fish (especially bettas) is a big part of the hobby. I’m very sorry for your loses.

I have had three bettas (two were rescues). My first betta was very healthy and wonderful. I loved him so much, he lived with me for almost 4 years. He developed a tumor and there was nothing that I could do. He passed away. My second betta was a female her name was Diamond. She was a rescue I saved her from petco, she was at the bottom of her cup gasping for breath. I thought she was fine but 5 days after living in my tank she died suddenly. I then decided I needed to save a different betta. I learned from my mistakes and got advice from people here, I got the right medication and so far he is doing amazingly.

We can put our heart and soul into caring for them, but sometimes it’s not enough. Bettas are wonderful little guys.

If you have any questions about you bettas don’t hesitate to ask this website. Fishlore is a wonderful website.

thank you so much for your kind words. i have three dogs now, and have lost six over my lifetime, as their lifetimes are so much shorter, and fish, well, their lives are shorter still. i think i need an attitude adjustment, because it’s so difficult to lose fish to whatever might befall them. it’s hard enough to try and figure out what is ailing your dog, but your fish! harder still. i might be more accepting of my bettas death by my own human error, if i could tell myself they don’t really suffer much, when things go bad, but i don’t know. i feel like i’ve made so many mistakes that i’m destined to enter a period of stable fish keeping, where i have a routine and the water quality is always good, temperatures stable, and everyone lives happily ever after until inevitable death takes them peacefully. this is what i am going to strive for. thank you for assuring me a beta can live a good long life and die from circumstances not related to water quality!

 

thank you so much for your kind words. i have three dogs now, and have lost six over my lifetime, as their lifetimes are so much shorter, and fish, well, their lives are shorter still. i think i need an attitude adjustment, because it’s so difficult to lose fish to whatever might befall them. it’s hard enough to try and figure out what is ailing your dog, but your fish! harder still. i might be more accepting of my bettas death by my own human error, if i could tell myself they don’t really suffer much, when things go bad, but i don’t know. i feel like i’ve made so many mistakes that i’m destined to enter a period of stable fish keeping, where i have a routine and the water quality is always good, temperatures stable, and everyone lives happily ever after until inevitable death takes them peacefully. this is what i am going to strive for. thank you for assuring me a beta can live a good long life and die from circumstances not related to water quality!

Another thing you need to keep in mind, is that fish (bettas included) don’t actually have pain receptors, they cannot feel pain.

 

omgeee! no pain receptors? you made my day. so stress is not pain, per se, but overloading of the organism, for whatever reason, resulting in the organs having to work harder? becoming compromised and susceptible to disease? if i know they are not thinking that i am a terrible betta mom, i might be able to continue my hobby and rejoice in small miracles, ie, that most of my fish are alive and well, and let go of the guilt i feel for being human and making mistakes that have resulted in fish death. i’ve even inadvertently killed snails!

there’s a cost to this hobby everyone warns the newbie about, and that’s understanding the nitrogen cycle. new tanks, new fish, new hobby, there will be death. like the cost of war. one can read a thousand articles on fishkeeping, but the experience is on the ground, or in the water, over time. the cost of becoming a fish keeper is paid in fins. and at this point, i think i’m understanding, that this is quite normal. hopefully part of the learning curve that one hopefully learns from, snd gets past, but inevitable, to a matter of degree. right?

been there, done that!

welcome to Multiple tank syndrome!

I went from 2 to 15 tanks in less than year. Down to 9 tanks, but I was at 8 tanks for a while.

My advise, figure out a cleaning routine that works for you.

having multiple tanks, I learned a lot more fast but there's a huge learning curve to fish keeping.

Most bettas you buy are already a year old and less than optimal conditions.

Plants are great buffers to help with health of the fish. I try to add plants to all my tanks - which can get very expensive!

do not be discouraged! as your knowledge grows, you will then apply it to your fish and it will get better

JMO and experience so far. Best wishes

thank you so much! i am so happy to hear from another person who has experience my syndrome and can name it for me: mts! got it. i am interested in advice on creating a routine, as i’ve been kind of just constantly cleaning tanks moving from one to another ad nauseum, without ceasing. it took a whole day to clean one of my 44 gallon tanks. i don’t have a job, right now, but i feel like my mts is a full time job in itself with no overtime pay! so, how do i determine what a good schedule is, for my cycled betta tanks, with 4 to 6 pygmy cory’s and three snails? i’ve been so overwhelmed with everything i don’t seem to be able to objectively figure out a routine. i try to do a gravel clean once a week, and partial water change at the same time, 50ish percent, but i have had such fish when the tank looks pristine, and tests within normal parameters.

 

Another thing you need to keep in mind, is that fish (bettas included) don’t actually have pain receptors, they cannot feel pain.

That is a myth, they do have pain receptor neurons (nociceptors) and almost certainly do experience pain.
Do fish feel pain?

 

I have undoubtedly noticed my knowledge grow in the last 5-6 years of my fish keeping experience. Thanks to FishLore, I was able to successfully rescue 3 male bettas from the pits of death (severe dropsy, velvet, and finrot!).
My first fish was a 1/2 gallon bowl with a single red veiltail betta. No heat, no flow. All the poor thing had was extremely blurry water, chunky rainbow rocks, and a treasure chest. He died btw... My next setup was the same, me thinking; "Oh, It's okay! He must have been old!". The next was a blue veiltail. Also dead. FInally, I purchased a 3 gallon tank. It had a filter, another blue veiltail male betta, 3 neon tetras, pink gravel, and sharp plastic plants. He lived maybe 3 months, he died after me not changing his filter. He died shortly after the neon tetras were sucked into the filter... I had enough. I stopped purchasing bettas.
A year later, I (for some reason) purchased a male red koi veiltail. Stunning as he was, his life would be shortened due to stress. I bought a 10 gallon divided tank. I put him on one side, and 7 varied fish on the other. Those all died due to water poisoning. He died because the filter was too strong, the light was too bright, and the water was not cycled. I had no safe tank for him, so he was moved into a small glass cup. I later bought a female just like him. She died in the cup I brought her home in (from petco) that night. He died soon after, while I was on vacation. I bought a female officially deciding I was gonna breed bettas.
I was told my whole life, that bettas are dumb such as snails, and didn't need big tanks. In the end, no fish should ever live in a bowl. Those employees are more commonly not very betta-smart than are.
Anyhow, I now have 6 bettas in appropriate tanks. Actually, since I have gained so much knowledge, I bought 3 female balloon mollies (2 pregnant, I'm sure...), 3 guppies, snails, zebra danio, corydoras, and a random wild, grey guppie I found in a deep puddle as a tiny fry.
To sum it up, fish are expensive, addicting, hard work, and beautiful! I call it fish-dicted (addicted to fish...I know...pretty cheesy...)! I went from 1, 1/2 gallon bowl to 6 varied gallon tanks in about 2 years.
You know what, the pros of having fish, weigh out the cons. Fish are stressful, and those who are struggling with the work, remember, you're not alone!
Just to show you this since it was too hard to describe, here is poor, poor Leonardo, in his sad old tank...RIP.

 

That is a myth, they do have pain receptor neurons (nociceptors) and almost certainly do experience pain.
Do fish feel pain?

I actually didn’t have a clue was a myth thank you!

 

it took a whole day to clean one of my 44 gallon tanks.

There is really no need for tank cleaning to take so long, maybe you are cleaning too thoroughly? I have 5 tanks at the moment, the smallest is about 47 gallons, the biggest about 220 gallons. I can do three tanks in one morning, or all of them in one day. I have sand substrate and do not vacuum that. I change water and clean the front glass, and trim the plants if necessary. Once in a while I clean the filters. I use a hosepipe to siphon out the water and another to refill them, except for the smallest, which is upstairs and I use buckets for that one.

 

thanks for the article. it was helpful to becoming a more informed fish keeper. the goal is of course to alleviate suffering as much as possible wherever possible, tanks included. creating adverse conditions where a fish may suffer is certainly not intentional on my part, and i aim to learn from past mistakes and provide peaceful environments for my fish! if they are stressed, i’m stressed, because i am responsible for their stress, making the perception of pain kind of irrelevant. i will have to post a morale booster on my wall, like in an industrial work environment: no fish tank injury or death for 3 days!

 

if i know they are not thinking that i am a terrible betta mom

They do not think that. They would be happy to know they are in a nice tank. With a nice home.
I have been keeping fish for only 4 years. In that time I’ve had 2 tanks up. I have a 10 gallon tank and a 2.5. I have betta in the 2.5 and a community tank in the 10 gallon. I love both of tanks more then anything. I understand the pain and frustration of having tanks . Just keep in mind that they are happy.

thanks for the article. it was helpful to becoming a more informed fish keeper. the goal is of course to alleviate suffering as much as possible wherever possible, tanks included. creating adverse conditions where a fish may suffer is certainly not intentional on my part, and i aim to learn from past mistakes and provide peaceful environments for my fish! if they are stressed, i’m stressed, because i am responsible for their stress, making the perception of pain kind of irrelevant. i will have to post a morale booster on my wall, like in an industrial work environment: no fish tank injury or death for 3 days!

Sometimes you have to celebrate the little victories!

 

There is really no need for tank cleaning to take so long, maybe you are cleaning too thoroughly? I have 5 tanks at the moment, the smallest is about 47 gallons, the biggest about 220 gallons. I can do three tanks in one morning, or all of them in one day. I have sand substrate and do not vacuum that. I change water and clean the front glass, and trim the plants if necessary. Once in a while I clean the filters. I use a hosepipe to siphon out the water and another to refill them, except for the smallest, which is upstairs and I use buckets for that one.

i probably do clean too well. before i got two puppies in 2002, i had a whole string of goldfish that kept dying… i was told i was keeping their water too clean! that in mind, i let my beta tsnks get really dirty thinking it was good for the bio filter. happy mediums seem to elude me.

I have undoubtedly noticed my knowledge grow in the last 5-6 years of my fish keeping experience. Thanks to FishLore, I was able to successfully rescue 3 male bettas from the pits of death (severe dropsy, velvet, and finrot!).
My first fish was a 1/2 gallon bowl with a single red veiltail betta. No heat, no flow. All the poor thing had was extremely blurry water, chunky rainbow rocks, and a treasure chest. He died btw... My next setup was the same, me thinking; "Oh, It's okay! He must have been old!". The next was a blue veiltail. Also dead. FInally, I purchased a 3 gallon tank. It had a filter, another blue veiltail male betta, 3 neon tetras, pink gravel, and sharp plastic plants. He lived maybe 3 months, he died after me not changing his filter. He died shortly after the neon tetras were sucked into the filter... I had enough. I stopped purchasing bettas.
A year later, I (for some reason) purchased a male red koi veiltail. Stunning as he was, his life would be shortened due to stress. I bought a 10 gallon divided tank. I put him on one side, and 7 varied fish on the other. Those all died due to water poisoning. He died because the filter was too strong, the light was too bright, and the water was not cycled. I had no safe tank for him, so he was moved into a small glass cup. I later bought a female just like him. She died in the cup I brought her home in (from petco) that night. He died soon after, while I was on vacation. I bought a female officially deciding I was gonna breed bettas.
I was told my whole life, that bettas are dumb such as snails, and didn't need big tanks. In the end, no fish should ever live in a bowl. Those employees are more commonly not very betta-smart than are.
Anyhow, I now have 6 bettas in appropriate tanks. Actually, since I have gained so much knowledge, I bought 3 female balloon mollies (2 pregnant, I'm sure...), 3 guppies, snails, zebra danio, corydoras, and a random wild, grey guppie I found in a deep puddle as a tiny fry.
To sum it up, fish are expensive, addicting, hard work, and beautiful! I call it fish-dicted (addicted to fish...I know...pretty cheesy...)! I went from 1, 1/2 gallon bowl to 6 varied gallon tanks in about 2 years.
You know what, the pros of having fish, weigh out the cons. Fish are stressful, and those who are struggling with the work, remember, you're not alone!
Just to show you this since it was too hard to describe, here is poor, poor Leonardo, in his sad old tank...RIP.

oh, poor leo! yes, “fish are expensive, addicting, hard work, and beautiful!”

i take courage from your story, and will stick with it till i get it. to err is to be human, to be subjected to human error, is the date of pet fish. may they all rest in peace, casualties of our curiosity and love of beauty.
thank you fish lore! i have never been active in a forum of any kind before, and was up at three in the morning finally sharing the heavy tail if woe i felt after my wee little goro gave his last gasp. i have been inundated with encouragement, information, experience, snd support, so now, despite my loss, i couldn’t be happier, for having gained all i have in the short time i’ve been in this forum! you guys are great! thank you thank thank you!