Stress from family over fish!

  1. Delaneyw Well Known Member Member

    I very quickly developed MTS after a betta named Bob entered our lives. I decided Bob needed more room (tank #2). We then found a used 28g that's being water tested and we hope to make a community tank. My daughter wants those dang Glo-Fish that will completely ruined the look of what I wanted (natural). Bob is already bombarded with bright colors and a mermaid because we allowed our daughter to "help". My mother is ticked off that "she can't have her own fish, you have two cats, she doesn't have her own cat either" ETC. Pets in our house are family. They belong to everyone. She's 7 and ADHD, too rowdy for the cats sometimes but they have all been raised together. NOW I'm trying to talk my husband into yet another tank for a shoal of her beloved Glo-Fish. That's a whole other kettle of fish. :mad:
     
  2. blusshed Well Known Member Member

    I understand where you're coming from with having plans and it not happening.
    Once I get an idea it's usually my way or the highway.

    We have a 3 year old, and I have him convinced that those Spongebob, ninja turtles, etc are bad for fish. Which, in some ways I guess they could be... Lol.

    MTS is fun, but stressful at times.
    Tell your husband he can get a different tank and that can be your daughters to share with him? :p After all... He bought the stuff.
     

  3. Delaneyw Well Known Member Member

    Oh my husband is very quickly hating this new hobby of mine. I had been asking him for fish for a long while and he bought the original tank on a whim. Boy, does he regret it!

    I suffer from severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD to a point that I haven't enjoyed anything in a long time, but even just doing all the researching has been fun and exciting. Bob has created a lot of happiness for me, can't blame me for wanting to expand on that, right?

    Now I'm feeling like I'm going to have to scrap everything I've been wanting to try to shut Mom up and make everyone else happy. Husband doesn't even want to entertain the idea of a little 10g...It's just a little 10g... (Would rather a 20)
     

  4. hollie1505 Well Known Member Member

    I am amazed by the amount of us on this forum who have mental health issues and have found a bit of peace in this hobby. I have 13 tanks at the moment and don't care what my other half thinks. I need this in my life and that is more important to me than a hobby. It has truly brightened my life and I'm glad it's giving you a smile. Have you tried explaining to him how it has improved your health?

    My mum is forever complaining that I "can't keep so many tanks in your condition" but she also says she has been seeing more and more of the real Hollie lately.

    Don't scrap everything but come to a compromise. Failing that just do it your way and apologise later ;)

    Maybe you could pick out what you really like and give her a few options. Get some pictures and vidoes and show her some tanks that you like. It was only when I showed my other half what I wanted that I could take the red phone box out of the tank!xx
     

  5. Delaneyw Well Known Member Member

    After seeing my psychologist yesterday things have been a little better. She fully supports me and see's the difference it's caused. It's so nice having that support from somewhere.

    My husband even took me to petsmart and helped me pick out some things for the 28g! He grumped and groaned, but eventually took a little interest.

    We're still trying to work out the tank for the kiddo. I showed him the fish she wants and he sort of understood my point. We'll see where that goes.

    Now I'm wondering more if he had a bad day instead of me?!

    My betta made his first bubble nest and that has made me so ecstatic. How can such a tiny thing create so much warmth?
     
  6. hollie1505 Well Known Member Member

    Really glad to hear you've had a nice day. It sounds lovely. My fella knows if he wants something a trip to the LFS is a sure fire way to earn some brownie points!

    It's good that he's beginning to see things your way. I think showing them makes things a lot clearer. At least then they can see what you are trying to say. I only ever let Tom think he wears the trousers!

    I think having something that depends so entirely on you is rather humbling, they're like babies who never grow up. They need us as much as we like them. (EDIT: I just read this back and it isn;t very clear that I was talking about the fish here... not that men are babies who never grow up. Sorry!)

    And I think it's wonderful that the therapist is supporting you. Having someone on your side when you're going through things is always a bit of a pick me up!

    I loved the bubble nest! You're obviously giving him a very lovely home.

    Keep smiling.x