So angry! Friend STOLE my fish!

Terra

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I hate to say this, because she's certainly the guilty party in this... but you had to see something like this coming. She stole your cat, she fought with you and refused to give it back to you and let her husband call you names over the cat.

You should never have spoken to her again after that. You really should never had let her into your house or let her babysit your pets again after that.

Now you say you're rethinking your friendship with her?! Is she gonna have to steal your car before it's "enough" to sever the ties? This person is a liar and a thief, it's not a friend. Tell her that you hope she remembers the cat and the fish and the lessons she's taught him when her kid ends up in prison for armed robbery at 16, and never speak to her again.
 

cichlidmac

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This is now #1 on the list of the most pathetic things I've read on fishlore.

Sorry you lost your fish......I'm at a loss for words.
 

Vasalissa

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Wow that is LOW!!!!!!
I would not be putting up with that... How do you trust her!

Wow I am so mad at her on your behalf!
 

kellyiswicked

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Wait, she threw a pot of boiling water at you? That's ground for assault. You could have been seriously injured. Get that woman into therapy.
 

Quinn_Lamb98

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ok..... at three months I believe that the kid could really get attached to your cat. I would still argue about it and such but when she gets her husband to call you, call you names and threaten to call the cops (when honestly they would be the people to get in trouble, not you), that is the end of the line. honestly, I think you should have said right then and there that you are done with her entire family and that they should find a new godmother.
 

riptide904

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slashgash said:
I completely agree, I have told her this his entire life. She gives him everything he wants and never says no.
My aunt treats my cousin (Who's like, ten now) the same way, he became really spoiled. His mom buys him anything, including pet he wants, and usually they're dead within two weeks. He likes to punch people, thinking they won't fight back, but I have a fairly violent little sister so I give him a bit of a reality check every time he visits. We once took him out to an ice cream shop and he threw a tantrum when my sister ordered gummy bears on hers and he hadn't. My aunt bought another ice cream cup specifically to fill with gummy bears and give it to him. Honestly, kids who get whatever they want when they're little will expect it to keep happening their entire lives. It isn't good.

Also, boiling water? Seriously?!
 

horsin1787

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You have a couple options here. You can either drop this person as a friend. Or you can forgive, forget, and just never let her watch your house again or entrust her with anything important.

Leave her parenting skills alone, you'll likely get nowhere. But you CAN shut her out and just not let her into your home. If she asks, either tell her why, or not. But she will eventually get the hint that while you still want to be friends, you don't want her in your home.

Me personally, I would just say no way to this person. But I too have a friend kind of like this. I don't trust her at ALL any more and I very rarely go to see her. This person I don't consider to be my friend any more, but I have forgiven her. I just don't trust her or like her as much as I used to. This person called me all sorts of things when I first got pregnant with my first little one. She told me I was lazy, that I was going to ruin my life, that I shouldn't have him...so on. She didn't even send it to me, she sent it to my husband. He showed it to me, and I proceeded to tell her I didn't want her in my life and to just bug off and figure out what her problem was. We used to be really close, I knew she had emotional issues. But I was ALways there for her. Now when she asks me a question about some, she gets the full undisclosed truth to what I think. Lol, it usually isn't what she wants to hear, even though it is indeed the truth.

Moving on...I don't consider her my friend anymore.
 

AmazonPassion

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You know the old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me"

I just wouldn't put myself in that situation again. You can find better friends out there.
 

betta fan 99

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I would just quite being her friend. If she throws pots of boiling water at you, doesnt care if the house starts on fire and steals your animals, i would just tell her im done with all of this.
 

LisaAnne

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I am so sorry to hear about the loss of you beloved pets, and the treachery of your friend! Indeed there is no excuse for her behavior. Personally, I would not allow her, or her family members, in a position where they could either cause you physical harm, or steal from you. When dealing with people like that, you have to draw very clear boundaries. That being said, I feel sorry for this gal, her husband and her child. It is a miserable state to be in when you have become so comfortable with treating others the way that they have treated you. Also, comfortable with the terrible example that they are raising their child under. To me, this is heartbreaking. In light of all she has done to you, it would be totally understandable if you permanently cut all ties with her and her family. Personally, I wouldn't cut them off entirely. Rather, I'd forgive them for their wrong doing, though they're far from deserving, while putting strict boundaries in place to prevent such things from happening again. I believe that she needs someone in her life that won't allow her to treat them with such disrespect, yet someone who also doesn't give up on her. I can't even imagine what would cause your friend to be so completely rotten but, it is very clear that she needs help. Out of pity for her I would do what I could to be a good example, all the while insisting that certain boundaries be observed for your protection. If she refuses to observe your boundaries and chooses to walk away from your friendship, then you've done what you could. I know it sounds sort of pie in the sky but, maybe you'll one day find her a true friend. As long as she lives, there is hope for her to change. Anyhow, that's just what I would do. I have seen such miserable people transformed because of the kindness of others... in truth, I am one of them.
 

LyndaB

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slashgash said:
Finally her husband called me and called me every name in the book, and told me im never seeing that cat again and to leave his family alone or he's having me arrested.
Why on earth would you stay friends with her after the cat incident? I'm sorry about your fish, but I'd cut my losses and run as far away from this insanity as possible. And make sure she doesn't have a key to your home.

Also, we have a Pet Nanny I found through Care.com that takes care of our dogs, 4 fish tanks and 3 parakeets while we're gone. She's a Godsend.
 
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slashgash

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I went to see her today and gave her one last chance to tell the truth. She still insisted it wasnt my fish and if i really wanted to upset her son just take the fish and leave, but I would be stealing.

I flipped my lid.

I told her exactly how i felt about her lying, stealing ways. I told her she was no longer my friend because she is not trustworthy. I also told her that her son is going to grow up to be a lying, thieving person just like her if she didnt get it in check. I then told her to have a nice life with the fish and walked out.

And the reason why she is the way she is is because her mother was just like her when it comes to parenting. Her mother doesnt lie or steal, she's a very christian woman and it would kill her to know her daughter is like that. But, she let both of her daughters get away with everything. The younger of the two (my (now ex) friends sister) would beat up her mother when she didnt get her way. And the mother didnt believe in discipline so she got away with everything.

I can be a very kind and forgiving person, but the second someone gets me that angry all bets are off. Very few people have seen me that angry but I can get mean.
 

horsin1787

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Lol, I would have taken the fish, honestly (she DID say you could.) And explained that it was just going to die in that bowl anyhow...as I was walking out.
 
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slashgash

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lol I was so angry I wasnt even thinking clearly. I just wanted to get out of there before i hit her and really did have cause to be arrested.
 

shelleyd2008

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IMO, Her mother wasn't very Christian if she didn't believe in discipline.

I would have also taken the fish
 

jileha

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slashgash said:
I went to see her today and gave her one last chance to tell the truth. She still insisted it wasnt my fish and if i really wanted to upset her son just take the fish and leave, but I would be stealing.

I flipped my lid.

I told her exactly how i felt about her lying, stealing ways. I told her she was no longer my friend because she is not trustworthy. I also told her that her son is going to grow up to be a lying, thieving person just like her if she didnt get it in check. I then told her to have a nice life with the fish and walked out.

And the reason why she is the way she is is because her mother was just like her when it comes to parenting. Her mother doesnt lie or steal, she's a very christian woman and it would kill her to know her daughter is like that. But, she let both of her daughters get away with everything. The younger of the two (my (now ex) friends sister) would beat up her mother when she didnt get her way. And the mother didnt believe in discipline so she got away with everything.

I can be a very kind and forgiving person, but the second someone gets me that angry all bets are off. Very few people have seen me that angry but I can get mean.

Good for you! Just don't start feeling guilty because you were rough with her. It might have done her some good to hear the truth for a change, but I doubt it. She definitely deserved it. Too bad about the poor fish.

BTW, what kind of bird do you have? A harpie? A vulture?
 

AquaLady

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I wouldn't have cared if he said he was gonna arrest me. I woulda broke the door down and snatched up my animals asap. How can a baby have feelings for an animal. Shes sad for using her kids as an excuse for stealing your pets. If you had the cat registered to your name and address it would've made things a whole lot easier. I'm sorry you have to go thru this but sometimes the Lord shows you things to unmask peoples true faces and wicked ways. It may be a painful lesson to learn but at least now you know.
 
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slashgash

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jileha said:
Good for you! Just don't start feeling guilty because you were rough with her. It might have done her some good to hear the truth for a change, but I doubly deserved it. Too bad about the poor fish.

BTW, what kind of bird do you have? A harpie? A vulture?
Lol she's a blue front amazon parrot. But when she bites she means business. The person I got her from gave her to me because she bit his girlfriend in the hand so hard she messed up her tendon.
 
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