Sexism In The Aquarium Hobby - Page 4

DCJ

Member
Daniel Nebushkow said:
Isn't it pretty sexist how men are viewed more as jerks than women?
The disproportionate instances of condescending behaviour were statistical, not emotive. Men factually patronise women in the same field who have the same knowledge and/or more knowledge than they do to a greater extent than women do. Laymen do this to women in their professional field.

There's also a whole load of cross-cultural domestic violence statistics, income statistics, employment statistics, a lot of statistics showing disparity between genders, on all age levels, on intimate and business levels, there's a lot to be unpacked from that statement and the place to do it is probably not on this forum.

That doesn't mean women are helpless vulnerable angels, because there's a whole load of violence and statistics against men that often doesn't get a look in, but again, probably not the place to start unpacking that either.
 

DCJ

Member
Aureus said:
Lol, I do agree that people are jerks, but, like I have said before, the word is just ridiculous. While it does suck that some women are not treated as fairly in certain career fields, I just don't see the word as being necessary. To me, and to a lot of other people, it just seems like something to bring on a victI'm narrative and to gain "oppression points."
I would love to talk about this with you but I'm getting progressively anxious about being hammer banned by the forum mods *looks over shoulder in fear*

I feel like a nihilist troublemaker writing graffitI in colourless spray paint on windows at school
 

Daniel Nebushkow

Member
DCJ said:
The disproportionate instances of condescending behaviour were statistical, not emotive. Men factually patronise women in the same field who have the same knowledge and/or more knowledge than they do to a greater extent than women do. Laymen do this to women in their professional field.

There's also a whole load of cross-cultural domestic violence statistics, income statistics, employment statistics, a lot of statistics showing disparity between genders, on all age levels, on intimate and business levels, there's a lot to be unpacked from that statement and the place to do it is probably not on this forum.

That doesn't mean women are helpless vulnerable angels, because there's a whole load of violence and statistics against men that often doesn't get a look in, but again, probably not the place to start unpacking that either.
Yeah? Where are these stats. How do you have statistics on patronizing?
 

DCJ

Member
Daniel Nebushkow said:
You took my comment out of context. I was just saying that women sometimes think men are man-splaining but they're not. They might sometimes want to spark good ol' conversation
I took your words at face value as though they said what they said.
 

Daniel Nebushkow

Member
DCJ said:
I would love to talk about this with you but I'm getting progressively anxious about being hammer banned by the forum mods *looks over shoulder in fear*

I feel like a nihilist troublemaker writing graffitI in colourless spray paint on windows at school
I'm sorry you feel that way.
 

Daniel Nebushkow

Member
DCJ said:
I took your words at face value as though they said what they said.
No you didn't... But you can think that if you want...
 

WTFish?

Member
I feel like this is taking a wrong turn here, like some daytime talk show which I don’t think the OP intended. It was funny in the beginning.
Yes that’s me being a complaining old hag....ha!
 

Aureus

Member
DCJ said:
I would love to talk about this with you but I'm getting progressively anxious about being hammer banned by the forum mods *looks over shoulder in fear*

I feel like a nihilist troublemaker writing graffitI in colourless spray paint on windows at school
It was nice debating with you. You are actually one of the first people that I could have a reasonable and mind-opening talk with. Sorry about any annoyances I have caused, especially to the OP.
 

JamieXPXP

Member
WTFish? said:
I feel like this is taking a wrong turn here, like some daytime talk show which I don’t think the OP intended. It was funny in the beginning.
Yes that’s me being a complaining old hag....ha!
at least your not a scary old hag
 

WTFish?

Member
JamieXPXP said:
at least your not a scary old hag
Oh I can be! Haha
 

Daniel Nebushkow

Member
WTFish? said:
I feel like this is taking a wrong turn here, like some daytime talk show which I don’t think the OP intended. It was funny in the beginning.
Yes that’s me being a complaining old hag....ha!
Oh sure. It's taking a wrong turn as soon as someone disagrees. I think the OP wanted discussion
 

JamieXPXP

Member

WTFish?

Member
Daniel Nebushkow said:
Oh sure. It's taking a wrong turn as soon as someone disagrees. I think the OP wanted discussion
Actually I didn’t disagree with you a bit, I can’t stand “women’s rights” ****. I personally think all HUMANS are arses. I give no cares what sex anyone is if you’re a jerk you’re a jerk.
 

DCJ

Member
Aureus said:
It was nice debating with you. You are actually one of the first people that I could have a reasonable and mind-opening talk with. Sorry about any annoyances I have caused, especially to the OP.
You too, I have had fun!
But I second the apology, I get well carried away - you should see me on Twitter (actually don't)

Sorry OP! and the people I have offended incl Daniel Nebushkow

That said, this has been less stressful than worrying about fish.
 

Natalya

Member
DCJ and Daniel Nebushkow take it to pm please
 

Dave125g

Member
Mike1995 said:
you live in NJ I see? Just for an idea, see if you can make a trip to Lancaster pa. Theres this fish store called That Fish Place. It has the biggest selection of fish you could ever imagine. And good service. Every community fish imaginable,bettas, new world cichlids, africans, saltwater, pond fish, coral, live rock, plants etc etc. It's the primary place I go to myself.
That place ripped me off on line. I've heard great things about them, but they will never get another dime out of me.
 

Daniel Nebushkow

Member
DCJ said:
You too, I have had fun!
But I second the apology, I get well carried away - you should see me on Twitter (actually don't)

Sorry OP! and the people I have offended incl Daniel Nebushkow

That said, this has been less stressful than worrying about fish.
No offense taken
 
  • Thread Starter

Lchi87

Member
Daniel Nebushkow said:
Sounds like a jerk but honestly... What the heck... Once I went to the pet store to pick up some fish and the dude mostly talked to my mom about birds. Does that mean the guy was being "sexist". (I'm a dude btw). Also just because some guy in your case was mean to you doesn't mean there is sexism in the hobby. Like honestly. The one place I thought feminists couldn't get to.
I'm not sure what your problem is. The reason I said he was sexist was because he assumed that because I was female, I would only be interested in "pretty" selections and made suggestions based on "what girls liked" despite me expressing my interests in other things. And in case you didn't read through the other responses, this has happened to others so I am not the only one. He wasn't mean either, just presumptuous. And there is nothing wrong with being a feminist so I'm not sure what you mean by this hobby being the only place feminists couldn't get to?
 

david1978

Member
I to think I look at the baby bettas and pic out the pretty ones. Lol
 

Daniel Nebushkow

Member
Lchi87 said:
I'm not sure what your problem is. The reason I said he was sexist was because he assumed that because I was female, I would only be interested in "pretty" selections and made suggestions based on "what girls liked" despite me expressing my interests in other things. And in case you didn't read through the other responses, this has happened to others so I am not the only one. He wasn't mean either, just presumptuous. And there is nothing wrong with being a feminist so I'm not sure what you mean by this hobby being the only place feminists couldn't get to?
Sorry but I just hate it when people bring social problems into a hobby that doesn't involve social issues. Feminists have stupid views. I get that we need to respect the whamen but I think everyone should just respect everyone. I get that the guy was a jerk but why do you have to bring that into this lovely hobby
 

Culprit

Member
Daniel Nebushkow said:
Feminists have stupid views. I get that we need to respect the whamen but I think everyone should just respect everyone.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Feminists do not think they are better then everyone else, they are just trying to be portrayed as equals. I think everyone is equal, and we need to respect everyone equally. Regardless of gender, race, or even age!
 

Aureus

Member
Daniel Nebushkow said:
Sorry but I just hate it when people bring social problems into a hobby that doesn't involve social issues. Feminists have stupid views. I get that we need to respect the whamen but I think everyone should just respect everyone. I get that the guy was a jerk but why do you have to bring that into this lovely hobby
I do hope that that "whamen" was intentional.

Culprit said:
Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Feminists do not think they are better then everyone else, they are just trying to be portrayed as equals. I think everyone is equal, and we need to respect everyone equally. Regardless of gender, race, or even age!
That would be egalitarianism, not feminism.
 

JamieXPXP

Member
Daniel Nebushkow said:
Sorry but I just hate it when people bring social problems into a hobby that doesn't involve social issues. Feminists have stupid views. I get that we need to respect the whamen but I think everyone should just respect everyone. I get that the guy was a jerk but why do you have to bring that into this lovely hobby
there are social problems in all hobbies. there is sexism in all hobbies its impossible to avoid
 

fishychachki

Member
Don't mean to pull a social justice warrior on the whole 'mansplaining' thing because I personally do have lots of criticism towards feminism including its use of poorly defined neologisms like 'mansplaining'.

But given the example initially shared by the OP and my own personal experience which I have shared in this thread too, the term really makes a lot of sense--in this case, not only is there a divide of "girly fish" and "macho fish" that people of respective genders are assumed to be interested in, but also OP was not taken very seriously plus assumed to have zero knowledge and experience.

I, as a guy, didn't get this and was taken much more seriously when I entered the store. Just directed to certain fish the employee thought was "macho" and assumed I would be very likely to buy. While I agree this isn't necessarily a gender-specific thing, what gives an unfortunate rise to a term like "mansplaining" was how it's been overwhelmingly and disproportionately done by men to women instead of the other way around or between people of the same gender.

Another story which happened to me: I was attending a conference for undergrad papers on psychology (my undergrad major) and there were at least three male attendants who seemed to be only listening to our presentation when I was speaking. They weren't paying attention when my research leader (who is female) talked. Even when they did engage in some discussion, they directed questions to me instead of her throughout the entire thing and once even tried to correct and explain to her the name of the statistical analysis we used (we used the term 'dependent sample t-test', he tried to explain to her the 'paired sample t-test' which is actually the same thing). See, I didn't get this treatment although we were in the same research team and she knew just as much as I did (maybe more, she was the research leader after all). In fact, they were taking me very seriously and asked questions to me all the time without trying to explain stuff like I didn't know it.

As much as I hate the terms many new-age feminists are generating, 'mansplaining' is clearly one that has its roots in the reality of our everyday life. And yes I do find that apparently explaning something condescendingly is a very gendered thing despite how it seems (and how I like to think too) that it is not gender-specific.

Daniel Nebushkow said:
Sorry but I just hate it when people bring social problems into a hobby that doesn't involve social issues. Feminists have stupid views. I get that we need to respect the whamen but I think everyone should just respect everyone. I get that the guy was a jerk but why do you have to bring that into this lovely hobby
Lol you really think you can separate some aspects of life out of the ugly identity politics and its counter-politics? Also "everyone should just respect everyone" would make sense in a social justice utopia where there is absolutely zero inequality between groups. Then we can all have things like meninism hand in hand with feminism and straight pride alongside gay pride (or none of those altogether because no one has historically been and stil is being treated unequally).
 

Daniel Nebushkow

Member
Culprit said:
Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Feminists do not think they are better then everyone else, they are just trying to be portrayed as equals. I think everyone is equal, and we need to respect everyone equally. Regardless of gender, race, or even age!
Oh believe me. Most modern feminists say they want equality. Women got equality long ago.
 

Daniel Nebushkow

Member
Aureus said:
I do hope that that "whamen" was intentional.
It was lol. PewDiePie reference
 

Daniel Nebushkow

Member
JamieXPXP said:
there are social problems in all hobbies. there is sexism in all hobbies its impossible to avoid
There is social problems everywhere but this is not the right place for talking about it.
 

Aureus

Member
Daniel Nebushkow said:
It was lol. PewDiePie reference
That's what I thought lol.
 

JamieXPXP

Member
Daniel Nebushkow said:
Oh believe me. Most modern feminists say they want equality. Women got equality long ago.
not everywhere women are equal to men or the other way around
 
  • Thread Starter

Lchi87

Member
Daniel Nebushkow said:
Sorry but I just hate it when people bring social problems into a hobby that doesn't involve social issues. Feminists have stupid views. I get that we need to respect the whamen but I think everyone should just respect everyone. I get that the guy was a jerk but why do you have to bring that into this lovely hobby
Feminists don't have stupid views. I do agree that everyone should respect everyone but you're not respecting me right now. You're downplaying what happened to me, which is undoubtedly wrong. I just wanted him to listen to me and see ME as a hobbyist and not just as some girl. I created this thread because it happened to me and the interaction meant something to me, not for you to judge. Sexism is everywhere so don't act like it can't happen here either, because clearly, it does.
 

JamieXPXP

Member
Daniel Nebushkow said:
There is social problems everywhere but this is not the right place for talking about it.
it is the right place since this is an aquarium forum and it is aquarium hobby related
 

Aureus

Member
JamieXPXP said:
not everywhere women are equal to men or the other way around
Yes, and this is what feminists should be focusing on, not "mansplaining" and other ridiculous issues compared to the actual oppression of women, mostly in Middle-Eastern countries.
 

Daniel Nebushkow

Member
fishychachki said:
Don't mean to pull a social justice warrior on the whole 'mansplaining' thing because I personally do have lots of criticism towards feminism including its use of poorly defined neologisms like 'mansplaining'.

But given the example initially shared by the OP and my own personal experience which I have shared in this thread too, the term really makes a lot of sense--in this case, not only is there a divide of "girly fish" and "macho fish" that people of respective genders are assumed to be interested in, but also OP was not taken very seriously plus assumed to have zero knowledge and experience.

I, as a guy, didn't get this and was taken much more seriously when I entered the store. Just directed to certain fish the employee thought was "macho" and assumed I would be very likely to buy. While I agree this isn't necessarily a gender-specific thing, what gives an unfortunate rise to a term like "mansplaining" was how it's been overwhelmingly and disproportionately done by men to women instead of the other way around or between people of the same gender.

Another story which happened to me: I was attending a conference for undergrad papers on psychology (my undergrad major) and there were at least three male attendants who seemed to be only listening to our presentation when I was speaking. They weren't paying attention when my research leader (who is female) talked. Even when they did engage in some discussion, they directed questions to me instead of her throughout the entire thing and once even tried to correct and explain to her the name of the statistical analysis we used (we used the term 'dependent sample t-test', he tried to explain to her the 'paired sample t-test' which is actually the same thing). See, I didn't get this treatment although we were in the same research team and she knew just as much as I did (maybe more, she was the research leader after all). In fact, they were taking me very seriously and asked questions to me all the time without trying to explain stuff like I didn't know it.

As much as I hate the terms many new-age feminists are generating, 'mansplaining' is clearly one that has its roots in the reality of our everyday life. And yes I do find that apparently explaning something condescendingly is a very gendered thing despite how it seems (and how I like to think too) that it is not gender-specific.



Lol you really think you can separate some aspects of life out of the ugly identity politics and its counter-politics? Also "everyone should just respect everyone" would make sense in a social justice utopia where there is absolutely zero inequality between groups. Then we can all have things like meninism hand in hand with feminism and straight pride alongside gay pride (or none of those altogether because no one has historically been and stil is being treated unequally).
I agree but that last part is a bit extreme no?
 

JamieXPXP

Member
Aureus said:
Yes, and this is what feminists should be focusing on, not "mansplaining" and other ridiculous issues compared to the actual oppression of women, mostly in Middle-Eastern countries.
I know I agree. some feminists are focusing on it but not all of them. the ones who aren't focusing on real issues aren't feminists
 

Daniel Nebushkow

Member
Lchi87 said:
Feminists don't have stupid views. I do agree that everyone should respect everyone but you're not respecting me right now. You're downplaying what happened to me, which is undoubtedly wrong. I just wanted him to listen to me and see ME as a hobbyist and not just as some girl. I created this thread because it happened to me and the interaction meant something to me, not for you to judge. Sexism is everywhere so don't act like it can't happen here either, because clearly, it does.
If it's "not for me to judge" why'd you create the thread?
 
  • Moderator

Lucy

Moderator
Member
We are putting the breaks on this topic. It has degraded into name calling and off the path
that was intended.
Hot topics, other than fish related which was Lchi87's intent, are not allowed on the forum.
She wanted to discuss how different genders are treated when they walk in a fish store.
It's unfortunate it has strayed.
 

Most photos, videos and links are disabled if you are not logged in.

Log in or register to view

Top Bottom