Rant sorry need to vent

  • #1
My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other 9 months We have been friends for the last 10yrs

well right before we started going out she enrolled for the navy reserves.....Her family is career navy both mom and dad...They kind of gave her a push.......

So our relationship is going great some ups and downs...she almost had an out of the navy right before she went she failed her entrance pt but some how the recruiters fudge her papers and she went

Now I miss her and i'm worried

My bud last night went on for an hour about how his ex girl cheated on him with like 5 guys while at A school but don't worry he said it may not happen to me.. I could have hit him.

I love her .....I think if we can make it through this I will have a ring and a question for her but this time right now is full of doubt and parania

So in short I miss my girlfriend and fish are kind of like therapy but doesn't seem to be helping I need a beer

thanks for reading later
  • #2
she's been deployed? Wow. I'll keep her in my thoughts for sure. If you weren't worried about her cheating before you talked to your buddy, you shouldn't worry. Us girls, if we're with a guy for a while, tend to want to just be with him... my experience anyway.

Best of luck
  • #3
Awe, that's so sweet. My fiance and I had some issues when I went off to college. He had some trust issues stemming from an earlier relationship which didn't help much either. But it's the struggles and being apart from one another that make your relationship stronger. Now we're bigger and badder than ever. And you will be, too!
  • Thread Starter
  • #4
no she hasn't been deployed she is just at basic....for 8 weeks then A school for 13 weeks...

At the very least I can go visit her at A school on the weekends its only a 10 hour drive.

I know I'm just being paraniod. When your mind and heart are at war with one another its hard not to be

shes been gone 8 days haven't heard from her yet hoping there will be a nice long letter waiting in mail box when I get home......

sigh thanks for listening
  • #5
l I'm sure that if you picked the right girl she is not looking at other guys.

I bet right now she is so sore, not one muscle can even wiggle! Don't worry, her first letter will tell you about the agony she is in, and how much she misses you.

My son-in-law took a job for US fish & wildlife, and had to go off to training in the first year they were married. There was huge temptation, right up until my daughter, sent some cookies and a picture, the one gal who had been so flirtatious started crying when she saw the picture, and never bothered him again, because she realized HIS commitment was to his wife! So get busy baking, and send her a good picture! You might consider that ring between basic and A school......
  • #6
More than 30 years ago, my hubby had to go to California for 2 wks of training for his job. We had been seeing each other for about a year, and figured we'd likely marry, but it wasn't something we talked about ALL day every day....I didn't sleep the whole time he was gone, and if you'd see us greet each other at the airport, you'd think he was gone for years! So, yeah we've been married for more than 30 years. Trust her, and yourself that naturally you'd feel different, while she takes care of business. It really can help both of you feel more certain about the future.
  • #7
Here's the real question. Is she the type that would fool around? Before I remarried, I did mess around with an army wife who's husband was deployed overseas. And I wasn't the only one who she messed with.

But would most do that? I don't think so. Most people tend to be loyal to their other halves. So while your friend had one that did, that in now way means that your girl will. Personally I wouldn't worry about it unless she starts giving you signs that something is wrong.
  • #8
If you sit around paranoid for your whole life (paranoid about the girlfriend this time, but something else after that is over) then you've wasted your life wondering 'what if' just about the future rather than the past.

If she is going to break her commitment to you she will do it regardless of if you worry or not. If she is going to remain faithful to her monogomous relationship then she'll do that and possibly be hurt if she finds out that you had doubts. (Logically guys worry about that sort of thing due to insecurities, we all do, but SOME women tend to get upset if you don't trust them.) (I said SOME, so women please don't flame me. )

Just live it up as though everything is fine...because it is until you learn otherwise. Keep yourself busy for the 20 weeks or so you have left and make her proud to have chosen you, when she comes home. Also, I would agree that you should, if you are allowed, send her some cookies and a letter or picture or both. (She could use the calories after the working out she is being put through. )

Good luck, and let us know how she answers the question.
  • #9
If basic training for women is the same as it is for men (or even close to it), I highly doubt that she will have the time or energy to cheat. It is a grueling program that takes its toll mentally and physically. When you are not training, you want nothing other than sleep.

I wouldn't worry too much about her cheating. Just be sure to write to her and give her all the support that you can. She will need and appreciate it more than words can say.
  • #10
Agree with Ntruder1400, no energy to cheat. I have several friends who have gone through basic and it is mentally and physically draining. Also, I don't know you but the saying is usually true, "If you know their cheating then they are." I don't mean the occassionaly worry cause your friend put the idea in your head, I mean know in your heart. I had a boyfriend for two years and I moved to take a summer job studying horseshoe crabs in Deleware. The letters between us got further between, he acted more and more suspicious of me, and when I came back something was very different about him. I knew that he cheated on me. I didnt break up with him until a year later when I she confronted me and he admited to it. I am now with a guy I've been with for two years and I have my occasionally worries but I really know that he isn't cheating on me and believe he never will. So just don't worry about it unless your really know something is off. Wish you the best and will keep her and all the soldiers in my thoughts
  • Thread Starter
  • #11
I got a note from her today.....

I was just missing her all I really needed was to hear she missed and loved me I feel a world better......

I don't think she was going ot cheat I think it was just that kid running his mouth drunk sent me down a dark road oh well
≈ D ≈
  • #12
There ya go. Chin up mate, if anything, she's wishing you were there to massage the aches out of her. BT is not easy and at the end of it you'll have one lean, mean machine of a woman by your side.
  • #13
I'm glad to hear that you heard from her. When my husband and I were dating he was gone a lot and I was really paronoid too, but I learned to stay busy and to keep myself thinking happy thoughts. Worrying doesn't help anything. Besides, it soulds like you are both really in love. If you do both truly love eachother, the distance shouldn't matter. Don't let it tear you appart. Just be supportive of her and let her know that you will be behind her no matter what.
  • #14
When I moved to Germany I left a guy behind that I really liked BUT his endless letters and jealous phone calls drove me away from him. I felt rubbish being untrusted, he knew I had taken on a new job and was giving it my all but still doubted me......mistake. I dumped him.

My later German ex went to do his National service, oh how I missed him. I trusted him but I had to let him go and do his thing, it hurt like bleep but he came back to me!!....I didn't question him despite my nights alone feeling ill, I knew he had been at commando training for weeks, I still ate with his family once a week but I realise too well that the not knowing is a killer.

She will miss you, your buddy may be jealous of the bond you both have.

What i'm saying is I have lived both sides, trust her. CWCH is right women don't like to be doubted. Just let her know that you realise she is working very hard at the moment but you support her in her career and that you are only a phonecall/letter/journey away when she needs you. That means the world to anyone.
  • Thread Starter
  • #15
You guys are right thank you for your answers

I do write her a lot but I never talk about doubting her.. I'm as supportive as I can be. I told her of the conversation and ended it with that kid made me feel lousy but thinking about her I know I trust her and don't doubt her for a moment...

All my friends tell me the only good thing about basic are the letters from home. its kind of a light in a dark place.. So I want her to know she is loved and that I'm here thinking of her..
  • #16
good call!!!

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