Possibly Quitting This Hobby.

Just today, the unimaginable happened. I accidentally dumped a LOT of fish food into the aquarium. I frantically took out the siphon and started hosing as fiercely as possible. I was so intent on saving my fish I did not pay attention to the huge mess I was making. My mother comes and starts getting real angry because of the mess on the floor, as well as the bacterial smell that it brought. I told my mom what happened but she seemed more worried about the floor than the fish which made me rather upset. I told her I would clean it up, and I did. But my mom said that if doing water changes makes this much mess and I have to do them every 2 weeks, then I shouldn't have a fish tank. We had a huge argument and I won't go into much detail. My parents decided that the fish tank was making me become obsessed or something. They decided that the best course of action was to take away my fish tank. I cried and begged, but to no avail. I can't believe it. All the time, effort, money that I have wasted just to end up in this position. All the memories with my fish, all the exciting trips to the LFS, all the battles we have won against ich, all the time and effort spent into the nitrogen cycle, all going to oblivion. I'm really sorry guys. If this fish tank is just going to make it impossible for me to get along with my family every time I do a water change, then it just has to go, unless they give me another chance.

 

Sorry to hear that. Always better to welcome people to the hobby than seeing them leave.

 

Well I don't know the whole situation, don't know your folks, don't know how much mess you make when you water change, don't know the whole story but I'm sorry to hear that your hobby causes so many arguments.

Not sure how old you are -- guessing a teenager? Maybe not a fair comparison, but as a mom I can tell you there are so many bad influences and dangerous things a teenage boy can get into, if you're a little fish obsessed it could be so much worse.

I guess to show them you are capable, maybe a calm discussion would help. Ask exactly how the fish and your fishkeeping upset them and offer solutions for correcting it where possible. Perhaps explain that it is something you are passionate about and how much it means to you. It makes me sad that they are not supportive of you, but if they have pain points, perhaps addressing them with well-thought-out solutions might persuade them to change their minds.

Best of luck!

 

sorry to hear that some people just genuinely don't understand how important aquariums and fish are to people in the hobby. try explaining what your fish are to you and how it benefits you. figure out why your parents don't support your passion for fishkeeping and calmly talk about it.

 

Great parenting...take something away that teaches nurturing and responsibility. GENIUS.

 

Thanks guys for the support. My hopes are high that his was just a really bad argument and that they will give me another chance.

I hadn't had an argument like this in a while. My parents were actually supportive of this hobby at first. Then they just kind of tolerated it, but weren't so gung ho about it, so for this mess to happen was kind of just the last straw for them I suppose.

 

maybe even try to get them to understand it from your point of view. you could also try to see if your parents would be open to becoming involved in your fish tank or fishkeeping or something like that so they will have a better understanding of why its important to you. fishkeeping isn't as simple as throwing fish in a tank with water. its about responsibility and caring for another living creature. its probably just a argument because they were upset about the mess and won't actually do anything but still wouldnt hurt

 

I noticed on your profile that you're 16 years old. Having been around that long, you must know a few tricks on how to get back in your mother's good graces. Just trying to lighten things up.

 

Thanks guys for the support. My hopes are high that his was just a really bad argument and that they will give me another chance.

I hadn't had an argument like this in a while. My parents were actually supportive of this hobby at first. Then they just kind of tolerated it, but weren't so gung ho about it. My mom never liked the idea of electricity consuming filters and the expenses that came with the hobby, but she reluctantly let me have the tank. So for this mess to happen was kind of just the last straw for them I suppose.

Sorry I tried editing this message and it ended up as a reply instead.

 

If the mess you're creating while doing WCs is the main culprit, maybe we can help give you ideas and advice on how we do WCs without a single drop of water on the ground.

Do you mind sharing your WC procedure?

 

As others have said, try having a calm discussion with them and make it clear the mess resulted from an emergency which shouldn't happen again. Be mature about it, acting below your age won't help them think you responsible. Just remember though, your relationship with your parents is WAY more important then the hobby is. If they are adamant that you don't continue, don't.
Sorry that you are going through this!

 

Remember one thing. You messed up by making a mess. Be humble and don't argue with your parents. Learn from this. It's very easy to spill water from a tank, i'm over 60, keeping fish for 45 years and recently poured water on the wall and floor behind the tank. Thank god I had it cleaned up before the wife got home. Calmly talk to your parents [maybe pull aside the most sympathetic one to make your case], make sure they know you understand it's your error that caused this and you will be extra careful that it doesn't happen again. If you get a second chance remember what you said. Any tank maintenance is a task that has to be done carefully. No headphones, tv or other interruptions to distract you. Plan exactly how task will be done. Remember water is heavy use a big bucket but don't fill it up. It's a great hobby I hope your parents will enjoy it with you. Maybe tell them instead of fish you will take up drums, that may change their minds. Good luck.

 

Hopefully, things might settle down after a day or two.

 

For those who have read and replied to my last thread, thank you so much for the support. I initially believed I was going to legit quit the hobby. I was so caught up in the emotions of the moment and the fight I just had with my parents over the mess I made from the PCW, so I decided to let out everything in the last thread. Maybe I made it too dramatic. However, I talked to my parents calmly, explained to them how I felt and they gave me another chance with the tank. We decided to get some towels to place on the floor to catch the excess water during the next PCWs.

Sorry for the false alarm, but at least I'm still in this hobby.

 

Good news. It's hard when you are operating in someone else's home. I know it was for me as a teenager. I didn't really kick it off until I was 20ish and had my own home. Glad you made some progress.

 

that's great! I can understand getting upset and just venting. it definitely can be hard to have a fish tank in someone elses home if they hate the mess it makes. I was lucky because my parents never bother me about the mess I made since they rarely know about the mess since the tank is usually in my room. although I rarely make a mess anymore unless I miss the target with my gravel vac

 

Glad you solved it out!

 

Glad all is well!

 

Didn't see your post, but no matter how careful you are water always (or at least often) spills in a PWC. You'll want two sets of towels- one to wipe up the water, and one to make sure everything is 'extra dry' after you wipe the water. After it's extra dry, if it's wood, make sure not wax or polish it for several days because you don't want to make the mistake of sealing any water in under the wax which will cause discoloration.

 

Didn't see your post, but no matter how careful you are water always (or at least often) spills in a PWC. You'll want two sets of towels- one to wipe up the water, and one to make sure everything is 'extra dry' after you wipe the water. After it's extra dry, if it's wood, make sure not wax or polish it for several days because you don't want to make the mistake of sealing any water in under the wax which will cause discoloration.

Towels towels towels!

I probably have 4 or 5 towels used only for aquarium maintenance

 

Talking to your parents in a civil manner worked well. A good life lesson that sometimes we are really upset about something but learn to deal with it in a grown up way.

You should be proud of yourself. You handled it nicely.