Please help! Depression in the hobby

Guppypuffercichlidnerd

I am depressed in the hobby, it is hard to explain but in the hobby I’m never happy, I love fishkeeping but I’m just so done with myself. I feel like I’m not even alive. The hobby is my life now but I can’t find that fish that just makes me happy. I have so many limitation and when I have a fish I don’t want or is limiting me, the fish store won’t take it and I’m left with a fish that I hate. If anyone has had this problem please tell me what fish or thing that helped you get out of this deep dark fish keeping hole. please leave and tips that you recommend.
 

A201

What variety of fish do you hate & how big is the tank?
 

Guppypuffercichlidnerd

I’m not sure, I don’t like fish that are too big but I like them when they are good to look at and have at least a little color. Ask that are moving a lot. I like fish like ember tetras and things like that
 

AggressiveAquatics

Do you have multiple tanks? If so it sounds like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew. That’s a common problem with fish keeping. We love it so much but if we dont take our time with things we can be easily overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed sometimes but never “depressed” if you are feeling depressed from keeping fish I’d suggest taking a break. Some petcos or even some lfs take fish back if you wanted to take a break.
 

Guppypuffercichlidnerd

I have a 55, 20T and a ten gallon
Do you have multiple tanks? If so it sounds like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew. That’s a common problem with fish keeping. We love it so much but if we dont take our time with things we can be easily overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed sometimes but never “depressed” if you are feeling depressed from keeping fish I’d suggest taking a break. Some petcos or even some lfs take fish back if you wanted to take a break.
Yes ok, I can’t do the petsmart thing because some fish aren’t from there. I can’t take a break because my brain won’t let me. I just need to find something to focus on like some fish that I like. I feel like thay will solve the problem
 

SouthAmericanCichlids

Some fish that are easy to get into is the different strains of guppies and coloration, another cool whole to go down is the kilifish subhobby, there are so many pretty ones. But if you don't want a fish post asking if anyone wants the fish and even if you need to offer shipping free too, anything to make you enjoy fish more.
 

Guppypuffercichlidnerd

Some fish that are easy to get into is the different strains of guppies and coloration, another cool whole to go down is the kilifish subhobby, there are so many pretty ones. But if you don't want a fish post asking if anyone wants the fish and even if you need to offer shipping free too, anything to make you enjoy fish more.
Thank you so much I’ll try it
 

NevermindIgnoreMe

I think goldfish are pretty much the happiest, most bestest cheerful little bundles of joy. The thing I hate most about them is eventually losing them. You can teach them to eat from your hand, gah it's so sweet.
 

Guppypuffercichlidnerd

I think goldfish are pretty much the happiest, most bestest cheerful little bundles of joy. The thing I hate most about them is eventually losing them. You can teach them to eat from your hand, gah it's so sweet.
Thank you
 

Fisch

What a out putting an ad into the local classifieds, I am sure there are some people who would love to take fish of your hand. That will ease the load, and then you will be able to focus on what you really want out of a fish tank, go after it and make yourself happy.
 

NevermindIgnoreMe

Thank you
I hope you start getting better soon, sometimes you can just get in a slump. For me it helps to change it up a bit sometimes.
Get a new tank, get rid of a tank, rescape, try a new species, take a break and step back. Like other with many things, sometimes you just need to find what works for you. :)
 

Guppypuffercichlidnerd

What a out putting an ad into the local classifieds, I am sure there are some people who would love to take fish of your hand. That will ease the load, and then you will be able to focus on what you really want out of a fish tank, go after it and make yourself happy.
Thank you to the moon and back
I hope you start getting better soon, sometimes you can just get in a slump. For me it helps to change it up a bit sometimes.
Get a new tank, get rid of a tank, rescape, try a new species, take a break and step back. Like other with many things, sometimes you just need to find what works for you. :)
Thank youuuu
 

mrsP

If you want to keep all tanks but have it easier regarding fish, you can grow plants in them, and when you want to add some fish, you have a good environment ready. Easy way to change plants around is to plant them to small (clay) pots, so you can just swap them around when you like, and find best places for them that way. And with small fish that makes maintanence easier, water quality stays better, and fish tend to be more relaxed and show more natural and interesting behavior that way. Also bunch of small, colorful fish in densly planted tank look stunning compared to sparsly decorated one.

I hope you start to feel better. If you are struggling with your mental health, do speak with your doctor, there is help available. It might be simply that you are low on vitamin D or similar (causes depression and tiredness amongst other things). You're not alone.
 

Guppypuffercichlidnerd

If you want to keep all tanks but have it easier regarding fish, you can grow plants in them, and when you want to add some fish, you have a good environment ready. Easy way to change plants around is to plant them to small (clay) pots, so you can just swap them around when you like, and find best places for them that way. And with small fish that makes maintanence easier, water quality stays better, and fish tend to be more relaxed and show more natural and interesting behavior that way. Also bunch of small, colorful fish in densly planted tank look stunning compared to sparsly decorated one.

I hope you start to feel better. If you are struggling with your mental health, do speak with your doctor, there is help available. It might be simply that you are low on vitamin D or similar (causes depression and tiredness amongst other things). You're not alone.
Thank you so much, I have a plated tank plan that I feel will make me feel better, I hope to achieve this goal of the planted tank with some colorful fish and I hope it works out well, I can’t thank you enough. It feels good to know I’m not alone.
 

mrsP

I hope this mess of a tank could give you some inspiration, or serve a guide of what not to do. :)


IMG_20210418_101159.jpg
 

pagoda

Guppypuffercichlidnerd

Take it from an old(ish) fart....this fishkeeping craziness can get overwhelming and yes, depressing too, sometimes. The weekly routine of changing the water, testing the water, the foever "how does a fish as small as you make so much poop?" and the aquariums that started all neat and tidy but soon become the fish equivalent of a messy teenager's bedroom can get to you.....and get to you more than once, especially after you have spent a chunk of time sorting it all out and that one fish...that one naughty, or bad tempered or just plain annoying fish looks at you, gives you the middle fin and purposely poops or uproots a plant for the upteenth time :eek:

We have ALL been there, you are NOT alone.....sometimes you just have to step back, count to 10 or 100 a few times, breathe deeply, swear a bit too and walk away for a few hours or a couple of days (the fish won't starve if left to their own devices for 2 or 3 days).

Fishkeeping is totally underestimated. People not into it see a fish in an aquarium and think "duh...whats so hard about that?" or they say "if I can't cuddle it, I ain't bothered"

The job of fishkeeping...and yes, it can be almost a fulltime job...is expensive, frustrating, infuriating, tests the patience of a saint and downright exasperating...BUT.....and its a BIG BUT.....its also rewarding to watch these fish interact with each other and interact with you (even if the sum total of interaction with you is to queue up by the food hatch and then poop).

Fishkeeping is NOT easy, it takes time, patience, dedication...patience...loads of money...patience....you get grey hair, bald patches, an empty bank account and "patience? what's that?"

Everyone has had fish that they wish they had not bought...sounded like a really great idea at the time but now....not so much. We have all been there, done that and got the mental scars to prove it.

Do as has been suggested, advertise the fish that you just can't get on with, never feel guilty or feel like you somehow failed the fish, it just was not to be....it happens, c'est la vie.

Be strong, stay positive, take one day at a time and you will be fine, I promise you matey, the clouds will lift and your joy will spark into life once again...give it time and most importantly give yourself time and always remember that you are never alone :)
 

DoubleDutch

It might be a better idea to get some help.

Hapiness and wellbeing is an "inside thing" and shouldn't depend on fish kept / bought nor any hobby.

When you feel better all these things should add something not replace it.
 

Guppypuffercichlidnerd

I hope this mess of a tank could give you some inspiration, or serve a guide of what not to do. :)

View attachment 785934
[/QUOte/]Ok thx, it looks amazing to me
Guppypuffercichlidnerd

Take it from an old(ish) fart....this fishkeeping craziness can get overwhelming and yes, depressing too, sometimes. The weekly routine of changing the water, testing the water, the foever "how does a fish as small as you make so much poop?" and the aquariums that started all neat and tidy but soon become the fish equivalent of a messy teenager's bedroom can get to you.....and get to you more than once, especially after you have spent a chunk of time sorting it all out and that one fish...that one naughty, or bad tempered or just plain annoying fish looks at you, gives you the middle fin and purposely poops or uproots a plant for the upteenth time :eek:

We have ALL been there, you are NOT alone.....sometimes you just have to step back, count to 10 or 100 a few times, breathe deeply, swear a bit too and walk away for a few hours or a couple of days (the fish won't starve if left to their own devices for 2 or 3 days).

Fishkeeping is totally underestimated. People not into it see a fish in an aquarium and think "duh...whats so hard about that?" or they say "if I can't cuddle it, I ain't bothered"

The job of fishkeeping...and yes, it can be almost a fulltime job...is expensive, frustrating, infuriating, tests the patience of a saint and downright exasperating...BUT.....and its a BIG BUT.....its also rewarding to watch these fish interact with each other and interact with you (even if the sum total of interaction with you is to queue up by the food hatch and then poop).

Fishkeeping is NOT easy, it takes time, patience, dedication...patience...loads of money...patience....you get grey hair, bald patches, an empty bank account and "patience? what's that?"

Everyone has had fish that they wish they had not bought...sounded like a really great idea at the time but now....not so much. We have all been there, done that and got the mental scars to prove it.

Do as has been suggested, advertise the fish that you just can't get on with, never feel guilty or feel like you somehow failed the fish, it just was not to be....it happens, c'est la vie.

Be strong, stay positive, take one day at a time and you will be fine, I promise you matey, the clouds will lift and your joy will spark into life once again...give it time and most importantly give yourself time and always remember that you are never alone :)
Thank you so much, I can’t even tell you how much this means. I needed this response for a long time from anyone and I feel better now that I saw this. I will try my best to do this and I will be positive. I have never had someone who know how I feel and it feels good knwing other people have done this too. Thank you and you are an amazing person. I will try to rise up and be better
 

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