Phobia for dead small fish.

Alright this is going to sound really weird but I can’t handle it anymore and I really need help and I couldn’t find anything of it on the internet. But as you have read from the title I have a irrational disgust towards dead small fish. Only the small ones for example dead whales or even big dead goldfish I just feel a little sad like any normal human would but the size of a betta fish and down is when I start to feel disgust and generally nausea in the stomach. I know it’s really weird and I also have no idea why I have this phobia because I actually find it interesting to study bigger fish and I want to become a marine biologist in the future so this is a pretty big problem for me. But as I said I just feel sick seeing one I don’t know if it is because of them being small or laying on it‘s side or floating in the water but it makes me feel horrible. The weird thing is when I imagine a dead frog on land I feel normal but when I imagine one in the water I just get horrified of the images. Also for example I have guppies. I originally didn’t really want them because of this phobia but my aunt kinda pushed them on me and I felt bad for them so I was taking really good care for them and they where all active and healthy. One day my aunt decided to give me another guppy but what I didn’t know was that it was in the last stage of dropsy and was about to die. I noticed that evening it wasn’t doing well and I knew the next day that it was dead. But I was to scared to look for it in my aquarium because of my phobia and I had to get my mom and sister to look for her. It was horrible but I just couldn’t handle it. She also had to do this for another guppy who passed away. But recently I tried to get over my phobia. I was transferring some baby guppies but sadly one really young one passed away probably because it was still a bit to weak and I did my best not to go away and finish the job of transferring the fish. I felt nauseous the whole time I was transferring the baby‘s and almost had to puke at the end that‘s how bad it is. Weirdly I don’t have this with snails and a lot less with shrimp, I still feel uncomfortable with them. I don’t know why and you probably don’t even know what you’ve just read but I’m honestly at a loss and have no idea what to do. I really want to be able to keep small fish but with this it’s almost impossible. Does anyone know what I can possibly do to cure this phobia? I feel like I can only talk about this anonymously because it’s so weird and I feel embarrassed . Any sort of help would be appreciated I know most of your probably wouldn’t know what to do as it’s kinda not related to the usual fish topics on the forum. Sorry for the really long story but I just had to write it all out. I do feel kinda better now.

 

Honestly I have no clue how to help you but if it makes you feel better, I‘ll probably always have to ask my husband to take them out. It grosses me out whatever size fish it is. Makes me sick to even look at any dead animals. Just letting you know so you’re not the only fish keeper with a phobia of dead things.

 

Thanks that does make it a lot better! I really felt like a weirdo because of it. And animal corpses that are covered in blood and stuff are also gross in my eyes but still nothing compared to small dead fish for some reason.

 

I can kind of relate. I’ve enjoyed fishing most of my life and no problem catching, killing and cleaning large fish for food. It’s more unpleasant for me to deal with small dead aquarium fish.

I love anchovies on my pizza though.

 

Small fish appear helpless, and it makes us feel helpless because we are responsible for them. De-sensitizing is most likely the only way, and think that the little guy is not feeling anything.
Take deep breather, and the next time it is not as bad.

 

Not a doctor but would imagine the way to get over your phobia is through exposure therapy. If you keep small fish or frogs long enough you'll probably get used to it. I feel kind of the same way about eating fish, but never got used to it no matter how many times my parents made me, so maybe it doesn't always work.