My sons report card

I don't know what to do. He has brought home straight A's all year up until today. He had almost 100 average in Reading, Spelling, Math, and Computers then a B in citizenship... He has lived in the corner and the prinicpals office this past month or so. (Funny how his grade averages went up but he stayed in trouble?) She said he is improving in behavior but she is also making him do extra work and read in his spare time to keep him out of trouble...

I don't want to not reward him because his academics are awesome, but he is staying in trouble.....
He deserves something for doing so well.. But to be punished for acting up.. I wonder if he is just bored?

 

Seems like a tough decision Angela

-Matt

 

Have you had him tested? He could be gifted. Gifted kids can act up if they're not being challenged enough.

 

Good Point Lucy!

-Matt

 

I haven't thought of getting him tested, but he is very very overactive and I know its not ADHD, he wouldn't be excelling in academics like he is. Something is def going on.

 

HI steveangela1, I have had a similar issue with my daughter. We discovered she was very bright in 2nd grade but she was getting into trouble all the time. We finally discovered she was bored silly. To make a long story short. We got her into an enrichment program that carried her all the way to 8th grade. She's a freshman now and an honor student in honor classes. I would say your son needs more stimulation, more things to do that challenge him. It really worked for my daughter. She's become a very self motivated student. She's also extremely creative as well as analytical.
The reading and extra work is good, not a punishment. I think he'll soon see it that way.
May I ask what grade he's in?

 

I was the same way...always bored. But that was b/c I was way ahead of my class mates. Try giving him extra work outside of class to challenge him - things above his grade level. It was also set him up to take advanced classes in MS/HS. I ended up getting my freshman year of college done my Sr. year of HS because my mom had me ahead of my classmates. It's def. something to look into.

 

HI steveangela1, I have had a similar issue with my daughter. We discovered she was very bright in 2nd grade but she was getting into trouble all the time. We finally discovered she was bored silly. To make a long story short. We got her into an enrichment program that carried her all the way to 8th grade. She's a freshman now and an honor student in honor classes. I would say your son needs more stimulation, more things to do that challenge him. It really worked for my daughter. She's become a very self motivated student. She's also extremely creative as well as analytical.
The reading and extra work is good, not a punishment. I think he'll soon see it that way.
May I ask what grade he's in?

He is in 1st grade, we have been putting up with his "behavior" since last year when he was excelling in school, but getting in trouble all the time. The teacher keeps pointing him out as being intellegent above his age. I guess I am going to have to go to the school and ask for testing for h im?

 

Yes, def follow through with it.
Did you know that gifted kids are covered under the disability act in Tn?
At least that's what I was advised when my daughter was put into the gifted program.
However, not every school district can afford to accommodate these children.
When my daughter was in 2nd grade we lived in a very affluent county in Tn. She had special classes she could attend.
When we moved to a more rural county, they didn't have the funds for it until Jr. High.
We did what we could from home through day trips, reading, etc.

 

My daughter is here doing her homework next to me. She reminded me she was tested in order to get into the Gifted Enrichment Program. I was new in the neighborhood and remember asking one of the moms at the bus stop about the program. That was the first time I had heard about it. I asked her teacher if she thought she was a candidate. She definitely was. She was given a difficult math problem in 3rd grade and asked to solve it and also to show how she solved it, the other was a writing response project. She needed to describe what she liked about what she had just read. I believe this was then presented to a committee for the Program. My daughter was the only student in her elementary school to make the Gifted Enrichment Program. We have 9 elementary schools in town. There were 20 kids in the program when she first started. She knew she was different, but this seemed to prove it.
Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You will be so surprised to find you have more options for your son than you thought possible.

 

my sister and I were both the same way when we were younger, her more so than me. we were both SO bored in our classes, it sounds like your son just needs a challenge of his own. maybe a fish tank?

 

I didn't know about that in TN, I def know in our small area that most likely they do not have the funding for enrichment classes, but I do know I can always drive him to another school if I have too (there are 3 diff elemetary schools around besides his).

He has been reading since he was around 4 and doing a lot of stuff before school. I know its one reason I panic about my 3 year old that is turning 4. I am realizing I am comparing apples to oranges with the boys. Carson needs speech therapy though (my 3 year old) when his speech improves I am sure he will catch up fast. He is already using the computer, playing games on it, and wii, and his mechanical skills are above and beyond, just no talkie....

Wyatt (my 7 year old) is a reading machine, can do math so fast its amazing... and is "curious" about anything scientific (loves discovery channel)....

I have spent a lot of time with him challanging him, one thing I know he is a bright kid. And that's not just because he is mine.

We decided to reward his good grades, as an encouragement that the Math, Reading, Spelling,etc is very important.... one B in 2 years we can't complain.

I will see what the school can do for him.

 

I'm not real sure how the disabilities act works with gifted children, I just know the people that tested my daughter gave me a copy of it.
I could be mistaken, but if there aren't any classes available for him, the teacher is supposed to provide something for him in the classroom, same as a child with special needs would be cared for.

 

Sounds like you have a very bright son

-Matt

 

My son was the same way. In third grade we had him put in a program called "TAG- Talented and Gifted" here. He is doing much better now. On his IBS test, he's at 7th grade level. He just needed more of a challenge

 

Something to keep in mind......if your son is identified as gifted you might find some of his teachers will expect him to know things he was never taught or shown. Like he's supposed to pull the answers out of thin air.
This was a problem my daughter ran into.

 

Have you had him tested? He could be gifted. Gifted kids can act up if they're not being challenged enough.

<--- case in point.

We're going through the same thing with my oldest daughter right now, but she's in kindergarten and there's nothing that we can do as they won't test until the first grade. She writes on a 2nd grade level, reads on a 3rd grade level, and does math on a 2nd grade level. Kid stays in trouble because she talks too much in class or is constantly trying to help others even though the teacher has asked her to be quiet. She's a really good kid, she just can't keep her mouth shut.. it's hard not to punish her when she has good marks, but she still gets the tough love because she needs to learn self discipline. Bored or not, you need to act right. period.

She's been disciplined and rewarded in the same day for her actions and her grades. She knows what the consequences of things are.

 

Well, I guess its finally came to a head. I have made an appt with a Doc on Friday. Also meeting with the teacher tomm. He is labeled by the teacher as teh smartest one there at the same time the most hyper?

 

put him on the naughty step!

I understand it may be difficult but as others have suggested he may just be bored - my niece had similar behaviour a few years ago then my siste put her into extra music classes (violin). these extra sessions seemed to calm her right down and her grades didnt suffer at all

key board keeps messing up on me - just wanted to say I hope thing turn around with him.

 

but he is very very overactive and I know its not ADHD, he wouldn't be excelling in academics like he is.
I don't mean to imply your child has ADHD but I do want to clarify that kids with ADHD and ADD usually have incredibly high IQs and a lot do really well in school due to a "hyper-focus" ability. I've done a lot of reading on ADHD and ADD (my elder son was diagnosed with it many years ago) and there are many different characteristics to this disorder that manifest differently per kid. Some believe that our greatest minds - Einstein for example could of been ADD - people with ADD often think outside the box and often they see the big picture but the little details bore them.
As for the very, very overactive part - that could just be part of your child's personality. My son needed frequent movement breaks in school and when doing homework. We had him core evaluated by his school and the occupational therapist had some great strategies to allow for his energy level - things that went on a special education plan - that allowed for him to instead of trying to stifle his natural need for movement but work with it - like taking movement breaks, running errands for the teacher, he used an artist's kneadable eraser or a koosh ball to keep his fingers busy when he had to sit still for long periods. It made him a happier, better behaved student! He ultimately became quite the sketcher/doodler in his notebooks because it helped him concentrate better.

 

I also have a daughter who was reading before she started kindergarden at 4. She is now 17 and graduated from high school. What sounds more alarming to me than the fact he may need to be in a gifted program(or at least challanged) is why the teacher feels the need to keep sending him out of the class. Before you said he was only in the first grade I thought you were discribing a boy in junior high! (I am now dealing with a junior high boy!) Maybe your son wouldn't act up if he was in a classroom with another teacher. Some teachers do not understand the way boys learn and behave compared to girls.

 

I also have a daughter who was reading before she started kindergarden at 4. She is now 17 and graduated from high school. What sounds more alarming to me than the fact he may need to be in a gifted program(or at least challanged) is why the teacher feels the need to keep sending him out of the class. Before you said he was only in the first grade I thought you were discribing a boy in junior high! (I am now dealing with a junior high boy!) Maybe your son wouldn't act up if he was in a classroom with another teacher. Some teachers do not understand the way boys learn and behave compared to girls.

Oh wow I hadn't even thought about that. You are so right. There are so many teachers out there now who are NOT interested in actually teaching and helping their students excel, rather they are there just for a paycheck with the most minimal work output level. While my wife was working for school health, before transferring to healthy start, she worked as a school nurse. She had kids constantly sent to the office because kids were overactive in class and causing disruptions. It'd always be the same kids too. She finally got tired of it one day and basically got some form of reform started there as she called out 3 teachers and one was fired after my wife transferred departments. Teachers were getting rid of the kids who were causing troubles in the class because the kids were bored, yet they had the highest marks in the class. They weren't trouble kids; they were kids who were not being cared for by our educational system, as they should have been.

Not that this is the case you are going through but the above quote sent me on my ramble as it's definitely a possibility.

 

My two cents:

I was tested at a very young age to have a high IQ. I have a twin and my fraternal twin was high too, but one of us was a lot higher. My parents were wise to keep the scores from us, for obvious reasons.
Well during my schooling I had a lot of problems. During elementary school my father was a terrible alcoholic and a great distraction to me. I was in a few classrooms with bad teachers and during 5th grade my teacher was beyond horrid. She didn't understand boys and neglected them. I was hummiliated in front of the class a few times and was even deprived of education. In retrospect my parent's should have sued the pants off the school but they had other problems I've already mentioned.
Middle school was the turning point. My 6th grade teachers discovered that I was behind, but intellegent and all of them made an extra effort to get me caught up. Some stayed after school, some just tumped my head. I went from a C-D student to a B student, the following year I got A's and was back on track. My parent's seemed to not see the efforts I had made so I gave up trying for perfection.
When I got to HS I was WAY ahead of most of my class and actually slept through most classes and got A's and B's. Teachers would get mad at me and I would refer them to my GPA and tell them I was alright. During HS I managed to get diagnosed with Lupus so that really took the wind out of my sails too.
All this is moot because I am now a graduate working in scientific research for a large company based in cincy (google it, I can't say). All the struggles I had through school I look back on and see myself as the problem. I was not challenged academically and let my personal issues get in the way of what I really was capable of doing. I could have had a full scholarship and not had to work during college but thought I was "too smart" for HS and ended up eating that decision.
Your son probably has a lot of things going on. 1st grade is a big transition. The easy street is over and the learning starts. Teachers can be a real issue too. Talk to some of the other parents and see if the problem is with your son or the teacher first. If your son isn't challenged enough he could be acting out, but there might be other issues afoot. Is there a way you can maybe observe the class for a while and see what the issue is?

 

What concerns me is that out of all the teachers he has had and Ihave met, this one is actually a caring, very sweet person. She is known for being too giving with the kids letting them by with a lot. My husband went to high school with both her husband and her, her father in law is our neighbor and the same preacher who babtized me (and my grandfather)... it goes on. She is under some stress this year, her and her husband have been trying to have a baby with no sucess. They already have one child though.

Last years teacher was a royal pain, she acted as if she was there to finish her years to retire. (shes pretty old she taught my husband in kindergarden too) She and I had some major conflicts the whole year where she would ignore Wyatt having asthma, but if he busted out a blood vessel in his eye from coughing send him home saying he had "pink eye" she would let him throw up from coughing so hard and not bother to call me to send him home. Then when he had a tonsilectomy and went back to school he was ordered by the dr not to go to recess, gym, or any thing considered sports not only for the surgery to heal but there was a couple days he was still on pain medication which made him dizzy. She ignored that and send him to recess . He fell and hit his throat. I got a letter instead of a call that day, witht he possiblity his throat could have bled out from the scabbing f rom surgery. That was the one time I went all out called the school board, met with the principal, and the teacher and let them know if anything was wrong an attorney would be seeing them. I was so mad! The dr was so upset that he didn't get to check Wyatts throat after the incident. I even had his office call the school nurse (lets just say they chewed the school nurse out for not calling me)
With the behavior issues in her class I asked her to give him more work to do to keep him busy. Her response, "that was like punishment for a kid" That was the same teacher that on the first day of school slapped my child on the butt. We won't go there.... Lets just say I raised cain over it! Apparently in TN it is legal for them to use corp. punishment on the kids however they have to have parents permmission and have to use it as a last resort.
Lets just say I am glad that year is long gone!

I know this year coming his teacher will be a lot more stern with him, without going overboard and already knows what she is getting into with him as far as intellegence and behavior. (another family friend) We have told Wyatt that this teacher would be like going to boot camp (she is very stern with children). Before we even get to her though we are going to try to get to the root of the problem with him.

 

This site is meant for fish questions, right? LOL!!

 

This site is meant for fish questions, right? LOL!!

did you read the topic of which the thread was listed in? "GENERAL DISCUSSION" don't be rude atkinson

 

This site is meant for fish questions, right? LOL!!

This is the general discussion forum

Anything regarding fish talk or non fish talk falls in to this forum for the most part. There is a subforum for polls and a subforum for funny discussions as well underneath the general forum.

You should take some time and go through each forum and subforum and see what each section is about. You'll find some neat posts on many different things and learn a lot about the folks whoa re 'regulars' here. It's nice to know more about someone when they help you or you help them, days at a time in some cases, regarding yours or their fish.

 

This is the general discussion forum

Anything regarding fish talk or non fish talk falls in to this forum for the most part. There is a subforum for polls and a subforum for funny discussions as well underneath the general forum.

You should take some time and go through each forum and subforum and see what each section is about. You'll find some neat posts on many different things and learn a lot about the folks whoa re 'regulars' here. It's nice to know more about someone when they help you or you help them, days at a time in some cases, regarding yours or their fish.

awesome way to explain ty FL !!

 

awesome way to explain ty FL !!

 

Ok, I got the "letter" from the teacher... She had made a list from begainning of april on about his behavior.... everyday there was something and just like she said the somethings weren't a big thing just that he doesn't "mind" her.
In the letter from her she mentioned how highly intellegent he is, he is a very sweet child, a pleasure to be around, when he gets in trouble he doesn't deny what he did, and appologizes.
However, its a repetitive thing with telling him NO! Stop that!

She also put in the letter she didn't think he needed medication because he does have the ablity to "focus" when it comes to his school work.

Is it just me or am I starting to see a pattern, he just won't MIND... that is the problem....

I have also got another clue into his behavior... its worse since March. Along with a child in the class that was took off of adhd meds, and another who threatens to beat him up if he doesn't do whatever she wants him to do....

I am grabbing straws here... he is truly a smart kid, and very very sweet...

 

Those things really could have an effect on him.
Also, could he be acting out because there's a new baby on the way?
I'd still see about having him tested to see if he's gifted.

 

Those things really could have an effect on him.
Also, could he be acting out because there's a new baby on the way?
I'd still see about having him tested to see if he's gifted.

We have talked to him about the new baby, and I have been treating it as here we go.. another baby... not a big celebration.... I try to have a one one time of some kind sced every so often just to give him special attention. We also tell him that he is the "first" child... as in being most special...etc... Try to keep it from feeling like he is going to loose our affection, and so on...
Then of coarse Carson has mommy all to himself when Wyatt is at school so there is his "time"..
Wyatt gets upset if he finds out that Carson has been out with me and he got a happy meal even... so when I do go out with carson I get him one and we heat it up when he gets home from school. Its little things that kids have issues with I know, and having to "compete" with his brother and new baby is one thing I hope he don't worry about... I try to make him feel special..

I will see what kind of testing they can do on him...

I'm just hoping whatever it is, is small and an easy fix.

 

Ok, I got the "letter" from the teacher... She had made a list from begainning of april on about his behavior.... everyday there was something and just like she said the somethings weren't a big thing just that he doesn't "mind" her.
In the letter from her she mentioned how highly intellegent he is, he is a very sweet child, a pleasure to be around, when he gets in trouble he doesn't deny what he did, and appologizes.
However, its a repetitive thing with telling him NO! Stop that!

She also put in the letter she didn't think he needed medication because he does have the ablity to "focus" when it comes to his school work.

Is it just me or am I starting to see a pattern, he just won't MIND... that is the problem....

I have also got another clue into his behavior... its worse since March. Along with a child in the class that was took off of adhd meds, and another who threatens to beat him up if he doesn't do whatever she wants him to do....

I am grabbing straws here... he is truly a smart kid, and very very sweet...

Ang, I swear. Lyric is in kindergarten but she should be in the 1st grade. She went to private school from k4-k5 then when she switched to public school she was held back to k5(kindergarten) because state law requires them to be 6 years of age when school starts. her birthday is in November. She'll be 7 this year.

Everything you said in the post above sounds EXACTLY like her. I mean to the tee. Even everything, to the tee, about what your teacher says about your son. She is very sweet, overly helpful, likely the top in her class in regards to educational grading marks. The part I bolded is what I am referencing. She just has incredible trouble listening the first time... second time.. third time. etc. I asked awhile back why she did these things. Was it just because she wanted to and there was no other reason. Well she said that was it. Now when I ask her why she didn't listen or did something she wasn't supposed to, she just says "I wanted to do what I wanted to" (to that affect). We had a long talk about our actions and while we had the choices to do whatever we want, there were also consequences, so if you mad bad choices you have to deal with bad consequences as well. She understands the concept thoroughly and when it's time for me to pick her up at the end of the day she'll start up in tears as soon as she sees me because she knows she's messed up. Discipline ranges from spankings (if she comes home with a red light which is the worst behavior possible) to loss of family movie night, tv time, specials treats throughout the week, etc. This weekend she has the chance to have family movie night and beach time on Saturday if she can make green lights the through Friday, which she has so far (they use a light system to measure the childs citizenship for the day green yellow red).

Anyhow that's what I am going through with her right now, and it sounds exactly like what you're dealing with. An issue with simply listening and doing what they are told. Best thing I can recommend is continue to be firm with him and let him know he's responsible for his decisions and actions. Personally I wouldn't take my kids to the Dr for add or adhd, though I agree it's a parents personal choice what they do with and how they rise their child. I was supposedly diagnosed as add by a psychologist when I was younger when my dad remarried and we were going through tough times. That was bull and he was just telling my dad's new wife what she wanted to hear. We'll keep it civil and say that I gave an earful when I talked to my father about it and being 'add' was never brought up again.

 

I have post traumatic stress disorder labeled on all of my medical charts thanks to my parents (my father died when I was 12). Mom wanted me "medicated" and I was on valium until I was 17, then my family wondered why I enjoyed drinking, partying, etc... I was high most of my teenage years from a prescription... I swore off psych drugs until after Carson was born and he had 15 hosptial stays in 5 months I honestly think I had a nervous breakdown. Now that I am pregnant, and thanks to the pregnancy I am off the medication my doc put me on that was literlly dragging me down. It was supose to be a 6 month temporary medicating, of coarse doctors want you to stay on psych meds to keep you c oming back.

Needless to say I don't take medicating anyone lightly. It will be our last option. I just want a doctors opion on the matter.

My husband gave him a 1 hour talk about consequences last night (funny you said that). I guess we are going to thave to start taking away a lot of privilages (He hadn't been able to play WiI in about a month, I started letting him play 30 min of wiI a night two nights ago, watch his Ben 10 episode everynight... then the first real "slip up" starting next week, he will loose stuff. I want him to see what its like to have his favorite stuff, and then take it away when he gets in trouble.
Daddy is supose to take him to see Woverine, that will get took away b ut where my husband works two full time jobs, I don't see taking any time away from him with dad. They need that time together.
Now my little taking them to the park, out to eat, etc.... that is stuff I can take away from Wyatt easy.

A big problem is grandparents.... my mother in law and father in law get the boys at least one day every weekend. They are awlful about buying Wyatt toys, letting him watch all the cartoons he wants, giving him pop and sweets.... Even when we tell them he is grounded from stuff the still do and give to him...
My mom is awlful about saying "your to hard on him" and making us look bad to the boys for punishing them. My opinion about that one is that I spent all my life being grounded, whipped, etc and she didn't think that was to hard on me. I remember one whole month in jr high not being able to watch tv... that was during an NBA championship when I was big into NBA.... it killed me!

 

haha. We're so alike it's uncanny.

The following has just been my experience and is in no way the law for those reading:

My husband gave him a 1 hour talk about consequences last night (funny you said that). I guess we are going to thave to start taking away a lot of privilages (He hadn't been able to play WiI in about a month, I started letting him play 30 min of wiI a night two nights ago, watch his Ben 10 episode everynight... then the first real "slip up" starting next week, he will loose stuff. I want him to see what its like to have his favorite stuff, and then take it away when he gets in trouble.

LOL!!! The wiI comment kills me. Lyric went from January to March with NO WiI and she had JUST gotten the wiI for christmas. Coming back from christmas break was hard for her. She finally straightened up in March and didn't get in trouble one single time so I know she can do it, if she chooses to. She got a lot of fun things that month. April was another story. Right after Spring break, she's been back to her not listening routine again so has once again lost the Wii, her TV in her room, and a few other things.
Daddy is supose to take him to see Woverine, that will get took away b ut where my husband works two full time jobs, I don't see taking any time away from him with dad. They need that time together.
Now my little taking them to the park, out to eat, etc.... that is stuff I can take away from Wyatt easy.

A big problem is grandparents.... my mother in law and father in law get the boys at least one day every weekend. They are awlful about buying Wyatt toys, letting him watch all the cartoons he wants, giving him pop and sweets.... Even when we tell them he is grounded from stuff the still do and give to him...
My mom is awlful about saying "your to hard on him" and making us look bad to the boys for punishing them. My opinion about that one is that I spent all my life being grounded, whipped, etc and she didn't think that was to hard on me. I remember one whole month in jr high not being able to watch tv... that was during an NBA championship when I was big into NBA.... it killed me!

Again, the exact same thing I have gone through with the grandparents! My father isn't so bad about nor are my mother or grandmother. They're solid country folks who believe in firm discipline and strong love for their kids and grandkids. My wifes parents however never disciplined their own kids and let my girls get away with murder at the same time as giving them all kinds of junk and unhealthy things to snack on eat on. It got to the point where I was getting very upset with their refusal to listen to us and what we wanted done with our children. It sucked but we refused to let the girls go over there anymore until they wanted to work with us in raising our kids. Spoiling them here and there is fine, and that's what grandparents are for, I strongly agree with that; however letting the kids have whatever they want and do whatever they want is absurd and I wasn't having it. It didn't take long for them to agree with our terms if they wanted to continue to have the girls for a day once a month or so, even though they come over every Sunday for dinner.

Now there's a new disciplinary measure we're using on Lyric when she isn't listening and nothing else is working. If my wife is going over to her parents and planning to take the kids, if Lyric isn't obeying or doing what she's told. She doesn't get to go and has to stay home with me and work on chores to 'pay off' her disobedience. If she gets her act together and starts working like she's told I usually take her over there myself in an hour or so.




It's tough as nails trying to manage kids by themselves but when you throw in your own parents and inlaws it just gets harder ;p Punish them both and both sides will learn that mom and dad are the law now and have to be worked with


Good luck with him. I know he's a good kid and he's gonna be fine

 

Well, after talking to the doctor, letting her read the stuff from school, her talking to my son.
Her conclusion was to get to the school and demand testing for him. She feels that he is bored, not just at school, but at home as well.

My husband is friends with the head guy over the school board, I guess he will call in a favor to get something done for Wyatt.
I don't want him "labeled" but I feel like if I don't tap into this possiblitiy it can hurt him in the long run.
She said in no way was he adhd.

 

try not to worry too much steveangela1, I'm sure things will work out for you guys soon.

 

Thanks.. I just want to find out and get something to help him.

My next task will be speech therapy for my 3 year old... the doctor has already got a plan for him, we see her Monday for that. Speech is the only thing holding him back.