My family hates my obsession

So!

I wasn't really sure where to put this but I wanted to share, thus here I am.

My family is super annoyed by my fish obsession, my mother in particular has likened things I've gotten into to addiction in the past so I'm not all that surprised to be honest. Some of you are really aware of my situation with stocking, and plans changing and illnesses, so I'll give the condensed version to speed things up.

I got my betta a ten gallon and a pleco room mate months ago, and I'm now up to 5 tanks (4 in use) and another on the way (still only going to be 4 in use, since the new one is a replacement.) The mantra in my house has become "stop spending money on fish tank stuff". They're not too sensitive to the fact that JUST STARTING OUT means I have lots of prep to do, and I obviously WILL stop spending so much once I have everyone properly filtered, heated and comfortable.

Fast forward to my sister giving me her last remaining guppy from the doomed tank she had with her boyfriend before the two moved back in with us.

Today my sister (we're not very social, she rarely talks to me and I assumed her interest in the guppy would drop once it was in my possession) came into my room and inquired about how he was doing, chatting pleasantly about schooling, his needs, and her surprise about how he was doing in the new tank. etc.

HERE IS THE STORY:

After my sister left for the day I told my mom that her needing me to take her guppy has completely uprooted my stocking plans (I'm sure plenty of you can relate to how plan A becomes plan F or G by the time you're done. THIS is what I originally wanted, and THIS is now what I have!) I made sure to carefully explain there's no resentment and I didn't want it to sound like I was blaming her, just that it changed everything I had originally set into motion, personally I think possibly for the better!

Anyway. My mother's brilliant solution to keep the guppy happy and have the fish I had originally wanted?

BUY ANOTHER TANK.

Needless to say that alone was enough to floor me. Buy another tank, so I can have the babies I wanted on top of her guppies? Why, yes I had thought about it but never anticipated her encouraging it!

THE REAL KICKER though is that she THEN proceeded to explain that the "bookshelf" in her room is an aquarium stand! She keeps a curtain draped over it, so I've never seen it and assumed it was a standard wooden bookshelf like the rest of the house... And that once I have the room (I need to get rid of the desk I have currently) she'll GIVE ME the aquarium stand for my new tanks!

That was a really pleasant surprise, needless to say between the two of them I'm super pumped today. Good thing it's the second or I'd think this was all an elaborate April Fool's they conspired together... Maybe my real family has been abducted by aliens.....

 

i'm betting on aliens. sisters don't do april fools well.....

 

My family doesn't "hate" my obsession, but I think at least my mom gets a little tired of it. I got a 55 gallon for my birthday after her encouraging me to, as I had been talking about it for so long. My fish ended up getting sick and my mom and I went to the pet store to get some medicine. Anyway, we ended up going to Walmart and getting a ten gallon QT. I was surprised she let me get it, but she said "We encouraged you to go ahead and get the tank, so now we are going to help you with it." In talking further we agreed that loaning money, helping with fish tank expenses etc. is just part of being a family. She doesn't really like having both the 55 gallon and QT in our living room, but I told her it's just temporary. She's okay with that, but when I mentioned how fun it would be to have a 20 long divided betta tank, she looked a little apprehensive. She seemed more okay with it when I said it would go in my room. That's not happening any time soon though. So yes, my family probably gets a little annoyed with me, but I have made them like fish too.

 

Lucky you! My parents don't hate my obsession but they definitely don't love it either. I've been wanting a larger tank (heck even a 20 gal) ever since I got my 10 gallon. Instead I got a smaller tank for my little platy fry and since my mom is really into the "feng shui" thing, I'm not allowed to have a tank in my room. And I know getting a larger tank will be a lot more work + money spent because that means I'll have to get a stand, or make one, and that costs money/time.

BUT... hopefully sometime in the future, when I start making my own money I'll convince them to let me swap out the 10 gallon for a 20 gallon I really do want a tank in my room though... but unfortunately that's not going to happen

 

Lucky you! My parents don't hate my obsession but they definitely don't love it either. I've been wanting a larger tank (heck even a 20 gal) ever since I got my 10 gallon. Instead I got a smaller tank for my little platy fry and since my mom is really into the "feng shui" thing, I'm not allowed to have a tank in my room. And I know getting a larger tank will be a lot more work + money spent because that means I'll have to get a stand, or make one, and that costs money/time.

BUT... hopefully sometime in the future, when I start making my own money I'll convince them to let me swap out the 10 gallon for a 20 gallon I really do want a tank in my room though... but unfortunately that's not going to happen

Oh no, feng shui! I looked into that, and it suggested 7 red or orange fish with 1 black fish, because of the number 8 and the black fish absorbing the negativity.... on top of not being able to keep them in my room (only option), that stocking limit was way too much for me to take seriously!

I tried when I was first getting started, but after that -no go.

i'm betting on aliens. sisters don't do april fools well.....

Going to have to keep my eye on them for any other sort of abnormal behavior....

 

Oh no, feng shui! I looked into that, and it suggested 7 red or orange fish with 1 black fish, because of the number 8 and the black fish absorbing the negativity.... on top of not being able to keep them in my room (only option), that stocking limit was way too much for me to take seriously!

I tried when I was first getting started, but after that -no go.

Yeah, I mean my mom doesn't follow feng shuI 100%, but you know, if I suddenly fell ill after setting up a tank in my room my mom would freak out.

I was thinking of setting up a dirted nano tank with some shrimp...

 

My mom has been amazingly supportive. She says it's because it makes me happy and she wants me happy n______n

It still made me jawdrop when she offered to use part of the tax return to help me purchase a 125g acrylic tank to do my reef in....Of course, the price of it plus stand didn't hurt (it was like $600-800, I forget exactly) but that shocked me. She also took me to buy a bottle of Dr. Tim's and a bottle of Biospira to save my fishies after the cycle crashed. I think I love my mom XD (just kidding, I love her anyway....)

My hubby...well....he's been feeling lately that I care more about the fish than him....mainly because I've had a few rough spots lately (sick fish, etc.)

I'm working on that.

 

My mom has been amazingly supportive. She says it's because it makes me happy and she wants me happy n______n

It still made me jawdrop when she offered to use part of the tax return to help me purchase a 125g acrylic tank to do my reef in....Of course, the price of it plus stand didn't hurt (it was like $600-800, I forget exactly) but that shocked me. She also took me to buy a bottle of Dr. Tim's and a bottle of Biospira to save my fishies after the cycle crashed. I think I love my mom XD (just kidding, I love her anyway....)

My hubby...well....he's been feeling lately that I care more about the fish than him....mainly because I've had a few rough spots lately (sick fish, etc.)

I'm working on that.

Part of the reason my family is not so thrilled about it is because money is tight around here... But realistically if I have enough money to put aside for myself, enough to give my mother to help with the bills and pay my own bills AND STILL enough to buy fish stuff, I don't see why I can't. Everyone has their own hobbies, my family just has a wonderful habit of excusing their entertainment expenses while judging mine...

but after talking with her about it and seeing where my mom actually stands on the matter, I'm glad we cleared up how she really feels about it I explained to her that it makes me more motivated and productive so she's less judgmental about it than my brother... but I think she understands my emotional limits better than he does, anyway.

How was the Dr. Tim's? I was thinking of using that for my next one.

 

It's awesome. It was created by the guy that developed both TSS and bio-spira, and the stuff re-cycled my fully-stocked 50 gallon tank (that I had just completely destroyed the cycle on with a dewormer...) in LESS THAN 36 HOURS. It's more pricey than TSS but it really does work awesomely well, especially in emergency situations like mine where you're stocked too heavily for the speed of TSS. Just make sure it's the nitrifying bacteria and not one of his other products, as they're labeled very similarly and it's easy to grab the wrong one. XD Also, be very careful to check the expiration date and try to get it from a reputable LFS, as the storage conditions (you DON'T want it getting hot) make a difference.

 

Off topic for a second. I LOVE seeing so many younger (still at home type) people on this site who have such a passion for fishkeeping. But not just fish keeping, fish keeping the right way. That is jsut so awesome to me! You guys are all such great kids and I am sure your parents allow you to have your obsessions because you are such great kids!! So yes it MAY annoy them but I know by experience that they love you and want nothing but to make you happy and spoil you anyway they can. And not just on monetary things but things that make you happy and educated (yep your getting educated by fish keeping shocker huh? lol). So don't let their little statements etc bother you. If they honestly did not want you to have the fish, trust me you would not have them. And that is true for any aged kid who is living at home.

My family has been shockingly supportive! My hubby especially! I can not even begin to think of how much money I have spent on this hobby since beginning it last June. And yet he still just leaves cash here and there on the counter when I need something else or really want something else. And honestly until I saw how supportive he was about it. We were not getting along our greatest. So it has really helped a lot. Sure he could care less about the fish and makes fun of me (harmless of course) when he catches me talking to them, saying I love you good night to a fish just rings crazy to him..haha.

But for the most part he has honestly been amazing and I am very thankful for him!! Now that may all change here soon considering we are making plans to buy a house with in the next year and he has to help me move 10 tanks to the new place. However, the new place IS going to have a special fish room just for me (even got that hubby approved too) so once we are there and they tanks are up and running it should me smooth sailing. I can not wait!

 

In all honesty, you couldn't call me a kid (I'm 25) but I'm disabled...so I live with her and my hubby in an apartment. We all share rent.

I wouldn't want a fish room. I want my fishies out where I can see them when I'm hanging out in the living room, etc XD

 

Eienna I always wondered how old you were... I'm 17.

When I have my own house I want to have fish tanks built into the walls. I actually have some really cool ideas for different rooms. Like have one room be like an old ship's captain quarters with fish tank port holes (accessible from the next room), a hall way that looks like a forest with trees on either side and mossy looking carpet, a really neat bedroom, and of course, fish tanks in every room! XD

tunastrack It really means a lot to me that my family loves me even though I'm sure I can get annoying. What you said is absolutely right. Back around my birthday in February, I was planning on getting a 29 gallon. Someone on here told me about some good deals, and when I told my dad about it he said "I want you to have something you'll be happy with". I ended up getting a 55 gallon with his help. My dad bought all the materials for the stand, but said I only had to pay for the tank itself. The fact that I come from a large family where money is pretty scarce makes this a big deal. My mom says I have my dad wrapped around my little finger, so that may have helped too. I love my family so much. <3

And you're right about it helping with education. I'm homeschooled, and with all the research I've done on fish, my mom wanted me to write a paper on it. I put it off for a long time, but she kept mentioning it. I finally got a notebook and wrote my personol fish keeping history. I asked if making a fish journel counted for school and she said yes! So I get to write about my favorite topic, AND it counts for school! Score!

 

<3 <3 <3
Hurray for parents! XDD

 

It's awesome. It was created by the guy that developed both TSS and bio-spira, and the stuff re-cycled my fully-stocked 50 gallon tank (that I had just completely destroyed the cycle on with a dewormer...) in LESS THAN 36 HOURS. It's more pricey than TSS but it really does work awesomely well, especially in emergency situations like mine where you're stocked too heavily for the speed of TSS. Just make sure it's the nitrifying bacteria and not one of his other products, as they're labeled very similarly and it's easy to grab the wrong one. XD Also, be very careful to check the expiration date and try to get it from a reputable LFS, as the storage conditions (you DON'T want it getting hot) make a difference.

My only option would probably be finding it online, which adds the risk of shipping weather, but I definitely want to try it out! I had wanted to grab it for my new tank to start up a fishless cycle and see if it would work well!

 

Well, if you get it from Drs Foster & Smith or a similarly reputable company and do it before the hot weather really sets in, you'll probably do OK.

 

I bought a bottle from Amazon and a bottle from PetSmart and they both worked great. ( 2 different tanks). The one I got from Amazon I really did not think it was going to work because they delivered it on the coldest day of the year. (It was 22 degrees in SC and it sat on the UPS truck until 6pm) I highly recommend it!