My Boyfriend And My Tarentula

CosmicDodo42
  • #1
I really like my boyfriend,but he has archaniphobia, and unfornately for him, I’ve been keeping two tarenulas (Parker and Trent) for at least two years, and I really like Parker and Trent, and my boyfriend. So he’s been a little Afraid of Both of them, and I don’t want him terrifed to enter my room, so what should I do?
 
wodesorel
  • #2
Talk with him about it! See what he is comfortable with, and don't try to force an interaction he isn't ready for. With any luck he'll be able to be okay with the idea that they are contained and cannot bother or harm him.

I have bad arachnophobia (even though I breed scorpions) and my mother is severely arachnophobic. What I can handle and what she can handle are on two totally different levels. She cannot be in the same room as a spider that she knows about until it is dead. I am generally mostly okay until it hits a certain size or is a certain type and then I turn into a blubbering screaming idiot. Spiders that are caged are perfectly okay in my book, but I would still prefer not to look at most of them as the physical reaction that occurs is strong and unavoidable. I even have reactions to dead ones, the hair on the back of me neck stands on end.

It is a completely irrational fear, but it doesn't change how it makes a person feel, even if they fully recognize how silly it is!
 
smee82
  • #3
Just leave him be he will slowly get used to them. if he doesn't and you end up marrying him you will always have a not so secret weapon.
 
goldface
  • #4
Put them on him while he's asleep, take photos, then show him after he wakes up. I'm sure this will cure his phobia.
 
Fishproblem
  • #5
Is keeping them in a room that's not your bedroom an option? I have a lot of houseguests who are not cool with spiders so mine lived in my study, where there wasn't much foot traffic but me.
 
ttomm46
  • #6
Talk with him about it! See what he is comfortable with, and don't try to force an interaction he isn't ready for. With any luck he'll be able to be okay with the idea that they are contained and cannot bother or harm him.

I have bad arachnophobia (even though I breed scorpions) and my mother is severely arachnophobic. What I can handle and what she can handle are on two totally different levels. She cannot be in the same room as a spider that she knows about until it is dead. I am generally mostly okay until it hits a certain size or is a certain type and then I turn into a blubbering screaming idiot. Spiders that are caged are perfectly okay in my book, but I would still prefer not to look at most of them as the physical reaction that occurs is strong and unavoidable. I even have reactions to dead ones, the hair on the back of me neck stands on end.

It is a completely irrational fear, but it doesn't change how it makes a person feel, even if they fully recognize how silly it is!
I got bit by a Brown Recluse so I have a Fear of spiders..
 
BReefer97
  • #7
I’m a little late to this but oh well! My tarantula is a secret and he lives in my closet... so I generally don’t have to worry about whether or not people are comfortable with it. Heck, I’m barely comfortable with it. Naming him something cute and harmless like “Emilio” seemed to put my mind at ease, though I think I would feel better if he was a New World that flicks hairs rather than an Old World that bites.

Anyways, I’ve found the best way to get people over their fears is through education. I would see if he would be interested in sitting down and watching some videos on the different species, care and their behavior. Show him some of the really cool T’s like P. Metallicas and what not. I would avoid showing him things like the OBT (Pterinochilus murinus) as their reputation isn’t the most inviting. I had a really irrational fear of spiders myself, but being around all of my reptile buddies helped. They didn’t push me at all but rather educated me about why people misunderstand them. I also learned that you should never really handle a tarantula because of how easy it is for them fall and die, so if I don’t need to touch it it’s not a problem for me. Emilio stays in his closet container and I don’t even know he’s there


My little Emilio

05ACEA45-6D26-4DC2-A201-1D5D5F0934F7.jpeg
 
Doomheadthebetta
  • #8
I’m a little late to this but oh well! My tarantula is a secret and he lives in my closet... so I generally don’t have to worry about whether or not people are comfortable with it. Heck, I’m barely comfortable with it. Naming him something cute and harmless like “Emilio” seemed to put my mind at ease, though I think I would feel better if he was a New World that flicks hairs rather than an Old World that bites.

Anyways, I’ve found the best way to get people over their fears is through education. I would see if he would be interested in sitting down and watching some videos on the different species, care and their behavior. Show him some of the really cool T’s like P. Metallicas and what not. I would avoid showing him things like the OBT (Pterinochilus murinus) as their reputation isn’t the most inviting. I had a really irrational fear of spiders myself, but being around all of my reptile buddies helped. They didn’t push me at all but rather educated me about why people misunderstand them. I also learned that you should never really handle a tarantula because of how easy it is for them fall and die, so if I don’t need to touch it it’s not a problem for me. Emilio stays in his closet container and I don’t even know he’s there


My little Emilio
View attachment 574932
Hello! What is Emilio? He kinda looks like a Venezuelan suntiger.
 
Africandwarffrogfan
  • #9
that's a fine tank you have

but it,s so small
 
EmiliyaCossack
  • #10
During the time my husband and I were dating, I discovered he has a irrational fear of earwigs, also known as pincher bugs. One time we were driving his truck and he picked up a wild sunflower for me and handed it to me. We had just parked the truck when I noticed that there was a pincher bug on it. Mind you, I am not scared of any bug or any creepy crawly at all. Love them all, I've always been really into bugs. I casually mentioned to him that there is a pincher bug, and at that same second it falls onto the floor of the truck. I kid you not, he got out of the truck and told me he would not get back in until I found it. This is the man who owns nine guns and yelled down a cougar and did security at a Bible camp in the middle of nowhere and chased away Intruders. He is practically fearless. He made me find that pincher bug before he would get back in the truck. I'm just saying, if he's not comfortable with the spiders, that's okay! Don't try to force it on him, and let him be himself. My husband knows his fear of pincher bugs is irrational, but I do not try to force him to like pincher bugs. And he does not force me to drive a manual truck, my irrational fear. (Longggg story as to why) Our relationship is based off of respect, and you don't need to worry if there are things you like that he does not like, as long as you guys respect each other and your likes and dislikes, and love each other for it anyway, you're all good! if he told you to get rid of the spiders I would be concerned, but if he's fine with you having them and just doesn't want to interact with them, then let things be!
 
Doomheadthebetta
  • #11
During the time my husband and I were dating, I discovered he has a irrational fear of earwigs, also known as pincher bugs. One time we were driving his truck and he picked up a wild sunflower for me and handed it to me. We had just parked the truck when I noticed that there was a pincher bug on it. Mind you, I am not scared of any bug or any creepy crawly at all. Love them all, I've always been really into bugs. I casually mentioned to him that there is a pincher bug, and at that same second it falls onto the floor of the truck. I kid you not, he got out of the truck and told me he would not get back in until I found it. This is the man who owns nine guns and yelled down a cougar and did security at a Bible camp in the middle of nowhere and chased away Intruders. He is practically fearless. He made me find that pincher bug before he would get back in the truck. I'm just saying, if he's not comfortable with the spiders, that's okay! Don't try to force it on him, and let him be himself. My husband knows his fear of pincher bugs is irrational, but I do not try to force him to like pincher bugs. And he does not force me to drive a manual truck, my irrational fear. (Longggg story as to why) Our relationship is based off of respect, and you don't need to worry if there are things you like that he does not like, as long as you guys respect each other and your likes and dislikes, and love each other for it anyway, you're all good! if he told you to get rid of the spiders I would be concerned, but if he's fine with you having them and just doesn't want to interact with them, then let things be!
Earwigs are scary I don't blame him. Lol
I will handle scorpions and tarantulas but earwigs are a nope for me same with flys.
 
JB92668
  • #12
talk to your boy friend and try and work some thing out he will understand
 
Africandwarffrogfan
  • #13
get a ten gallon for it
 
Daniodude
  • #14
IF they let you pet them, then show him you petting them, while saying things like ¨See they're not so bad.¨
 
Redshark1
  • #15
I’m a little late to this but oh well! My tarantula is a secret and he lives in my closet... so I generally don’t have to worry about whether or not people are comfortable with it. Heck, I’m barely comfortable with it. Naming him something cute and harmless like “Emilio” seemed to put my mind at ease, though I think I would feel better if he was a New World that flicks hairs rather than an Old World that bites.

Anyways, I’ve found the best way to get people over their fears is through education. I would see if he would be interested in sitting down and watching some videos on the different species, care and their behavior. Show him some of the really cool T’s like P. Metallicas and what not. I would avoid showing him things like the OBT (Pterinochilus murinus) as their reputation isn’t the most inviting. I had a really irrational fear of spiders myself, but being around all of my reptile buddies helped. They didn’t push me at all but rather educated me about why people misunderstand them. I also learned that you should never really handle a tarantula because of how easy it is for them fall and die, so if I don’t need to touch it it’s not a problem for me. Emilio stays in his closet container and I don’t even know he’s there


My little Emilio
View attachment 574932
Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!! You didn't warn me that Emelio was going to make an appearance - I can't read further and must now leave the thread!
 
skar
  • #16

20200508_180810.jpg
Bummmmp
 

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