Men are just happier people

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atmmachine816

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Here's another email that my mom liked, I'll share it with you.

Men Are Just Happier People:

-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Her Wedding dress - $5000. Your Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.
 

Tom

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That is so funny, and some people would consider that to be true. But the thing about women not being able to go topless, that is not a law or anything, most people just do that because they don't want to stand out in a crowd.
Tom
 

sirdarksol

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Tom said:
That is so funny, and some people would consider that to be true. But the thing about women not being able to go topless, that is not a law or anything, most people just do that because they don't want to stand out in a crowd.
Tom
not true. Topless women get arrested for public indecency (at least here in MN).

I'm not a real man. Some of the stuff doesn't apply to me. My wife opens the jars. In most cases, I'm stronger than her, but I can't open a pickle jar for the life of me. We shared last names. I don't burp out loud. New shoes always give me blisters (maybe if I wore socks )
The wrinkle thing. That's correct. I don't even believe that wrinkles actually exist in clothing. I think that's just something women made up to punish us for something.
 

Tom

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I think that in most places women have the right to go topless though but most just don't want to. That is stupid that they can be arrested for not having a shirt on, what happens if an over weight man walks in public without a shirt, IMO, that is almost the exact same thing.
Tom
 

sirdarksol

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Tom said:
I think that in most places women have the right to go topless though but most just don't want to. That is stupid that they can be arrested for not having a shirt on, what happens if an over weight man walks in public without a shirt, IMO, that is almost the exact same thing.
Tom
Agreed.
 

Fishface

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this whole post does just not ring true to me.


stereotypes. ~~~ c'est la vie.
 

tan.b

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it amused me! lol ;D
 

Jimold

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Grrrrrr... me man... me cook with fire... me eat meat... hehehehe
 

COBettaCouple

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Jim said:
Grrrrrr... me man... me cook with fire... me eat meat... hehehehe
ugh jim... fire bad.. microwave good.. pine cone bad.. toilet paper good.. ugh, ugh...
 

Jimold

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grrrr, no... bar-b-q fire good... microwave magic bad!
 

COBettaCouple

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Jim said:
grrrr, no... bar-b-q fire good... microwave magic bad!
ugh.. ugh.. me lazy caveman.. no wait food hot.. say bite me to fire gods.
 

tan.b

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oh no! the fish aliens have taken your brains!!!
 

COBettaCouple

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tan.b said:
oh no! the fish aliens have taken your brains!!!
brains? brain yum with ketchup! ugh!
 

Jimold

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alien also yum with ketchup!
 

tan.b

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LOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL 
 

COBettaCouple

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Jim said:
alien also yum with ketchup!
alien funny green monkey? me say too good good eat!
 
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