A couple has taken a trip to Europe in hopes of relieving marital problems. It's not quite working, but they decide to go out to a French restaurant. Waiter: What would you like to order? Man: A large steak. Waiter: But what about ze mad cow? Man: Who cares, just bring me my food. Waiter, concerned: But what about ze mad cow? Man: Oh, don't worry about my wife!! ;D sorry that's really bad the next are blonde jokes, please don't take offense if you're blonde!! Blonde, over phone: Sam, I'm trying to solve this really hard puzzle. Could you come over and help. Sam, over phone: Sure, honey, what's it of? Blonde, over phone: A giant Rooster! Sam walks in and just shakes his head. Blonde: So, can you help me? Sam: Honey, put the Corn Flakes back in the box! ;D ;D ;D a lot of people don't get this one, so you might have to read it a few times...but it's really funny... A blonde is at a baseball game and they tell a blonde joke, and she is absolutely infuriated and insulted. She decides that she will go out and beat up the next blonde she sees doing something dumb for giving her such a bad name. Driving down the road, she sees a blonde sitting and paddling in a rowboat in the middle of a large wheat field. She is so embarrased that a blonde would do something so stupid, so she jumps out of the car and resolves to go beat up that person. Blonde 1: Hey you, why the heck are you paddling?! Blonde 2: Because this is suuuch a huge lake! Blonde 1: I tell you what, if I could swim, I would swim right out there and beat you up for being so dumb!! ;D ;D ;D sorry that one is kinda bad to but hehehehe... Once again, no offense to any blondes, I just thought those are so funny!