"It's either me, or the fish"... fishkeepers, what does your SO / family / friends think of your hobby?

Mother thinks it is completely absurd I have 3 tanks.

I had 2 tanks when I was with my ex. One was a 50 gallon with an Angel, 2 pleckos and at least 4-5 other various pairs, a few snails and ghost shrimp. My second tank had my female betta and a snail. While we were together he took care of the maintenance, WC etc, and I took care of the fish because they were mine and my sons'. Sadly since we split he is "maintaining" the tank until the fish die. I'd take them but I live with my parents and we don't have the room.

However, once I moved home I missed my fish. My bf bought a 1 gallon tank so I could have another betta. The tank didn't have a filter or anything so he bought me a 3 gallon. He fully supports my hobby with my "baby". My parents and brother are supportive as well. My dad just requested I stop at the 3 gallon tank.

I'm sorry your SO is giving you a hard time. I thought my dad would but as long as the lights aren't in his eyes I think he finds the tank relaxing. Not that he'd ever admit it.

I also don't think they have "soulless glares" at all. In fact, sometimes I swear I can see Panda working something out in head. Heck, if I put my lips to the tank he swims over and touches his face to glass. That's as far as our relationship goes though. I don't love him *that* much.

 

I'm sorry but that was one of the funniest things ever on here.

Dont worry whenever someone comes over to my place for the first time they always ask if the shrimp where for eating.

I don't need a "dont tap the glass" sign I need "dont eat the shrimp" on my tank.

 

My Hubble is supportive of my hobby even after I had to get rid of the end tables to make more room for tanks. He did give me the evil eye tonight when he was looking for the strainer to drain meat through and I confessed that I had drained baby brine shrimp through it. He mumbled something about dying from a fish disease. I showed him where the other strainer was and all was good again. (I actually couldn’t remember which one I had really used so I bleached them both when he left the room.). Lol!

 

Dont worry whenever someone comes over to my place for the first time they always ask if the shrimp where for eating.

I don't need a "dont tap the glass" sign I need "dont eat the shrimp" on my tank.

I'm Chinese myself. And we don't eat "anything with 4 legs". Although I don't know the full details of your story, if a guy comes over my place and touched my pets in the manner you described in your previous post, they would be seeing stars.

 

I’m lucky that I have very supportive family and friends with my hobby! My parents let me put a 17g scape in the living room, and they’re pretty interested in how it all works and stuff. They love looking at my tanks but hate the maintenance, it’s a win for me though I also have some smaller tanks in my room. My cousins and nieces love checking in on the fish when they come over and let me teach them about the science + ethics that go along with fishkeeping. Overall everyone’s very tolerant, I’m grateful! The only annoying thing that’s annoying is that people assume that fishkeeping and plant-tending are my only personality traits. Oh well

 

At most, my parents just comment on how we "have a zoo upstairs" between our amphibians, crustaceans, and fish. But, since running this "zoo" has nothing to do with them and they don't go upstairs much anyways, it's not a bother to them.

My brother helps with taking care of things especially when I'm gone for school. He picked out and technically owns several of the more interesting critters, so the hobby's more of a joint effort between the two of us. He's got a legitimate interest in keeping everything happy and healthy, especially where his favorites are concerned, which is really helpful. Building and caring for aquariums and terrariums has kinda become our "thing." It's nice.

However, everyone who sees our zoo is always amazed 'cause vivariums and planted tanks are actually really pretty. Extended family hear about the odd critters we keep via mom's social media chatter and request tours when they visit, I kid you not.

 

I'm Chinese myself. And we don't eat "anything with 4 legs". Although I don't know the full details of your story, if a guy comes over my place and touched my pets in the manner you described in your previous post, they would be seeing stars.

Where in china are you from or born and raised in canada?

It just a chinese saying ive been told a few times by different people. I honestly can't think of any common animals that aren't eaten here. And I'm not going to punch my mother in law for eating half a dozen RCS when I had over 300.

 

I get some real interesting responses lol. I'm currently in highschool, so telling a bunch of teenagers that you keep an extensive amount of fish is quite fun. I think the best response I've gotten was "Are you lonely? Is that why you have so many fish?" and one of my friends has crowned me the "CEO of fish". Some think it's cool, others kind of question it and think it's odd, but no one ever like makes fun of me for it. I was browsing live aquaria in English and I had people telling me I should buy a shark, and the kid who asked if I was lonely was helping me pick out fish

 

Hahaha yup I’m the mad animal person in the middle of the downtown cbd

Most friends either like it or roll their eyes. My best mate was surprisingly for it but not interested in having fish himself. Then he spent a night here and ‘got it’ and his wife likes “pretty fish”. They are currently in the market for their first tank. I’m trying to talk them out of discus (no fish experience) and looking at realistic sizes. I think a nice community focusing on angelfish would be great for them.

I also have a flatmate who sublets the downstairs from me. He is definitely for it. He mentioned he loved shrimp so lo and behold the tank in the hallway outside his room is now full of shrimp. He’s a happy camper

 

Many of these responses seem to have good/decent support and that’s great! Those that don’t have the support I’m sorry about that, and best of luck with your circumstances.
I’m newer to the hobby. I’m single and out of the best, but do live with roommates. I didn’t tell anyone I was going to do it. Tanks just showed up at the door one day and I started putting them together. My older roommate was fully supportive; I put one in our larger, shared bathroom. I made room in my “entertainment corner” in the basement for my larger tank. My other roommate has most of the downstairs to himself, save for my corner. That one was out of town for several weeks for his job and came back to a fish tank and had a few questions for me after a few days when he finally noticed it. I could easily see myself getting more tanks set up, if the funds would allow it. (And the roommates, of course... could ask them too I guess.)

 

Dont worry whenever someone comes over to my place for the first time they always ask if the shrimp where for eating.

I don't need a "dont tap the glass" sign I need "dont eat the shrimp" on my tank.

Actually I want that sign right now. That is a way better joke than the "no angling" decorations I see all the time. Nyahahaha!

At most, my parents just comment on how we "have a zoo upstairs" between our amphibians, crustaceans, and fish. But, since running this "zoo" has nothing to do with them and they don't go upstairs much anyways, it's not a bother to them.

My brother helps with taking care of things especially when I'm gone for school. He picked out and technically owns several of the more interesting critters, so the hobby's more of a joint effort between the two of us. He's got a legitimate interest in keeping everything happy and healthy, especially where his favorites are concerned, which is really helpful. Building and caring for aquariums and terrariums has kinda become our "thing." It's nice.

However, everyone who sees our zoo is always amazed 'cause vivariums and planted tanks are actually really pretty. Extended family hear about the odd critters we keep via mom's social media chatter and request tours when they visit, I kid you not.

That sounds awesome! I must now see some pictures of those vivariums and tanks!

I get some real interesting responses lol. I'm currently in highschool, so telling a bunch of teenagers that you keep an extensive amount of fish is quite fun. I think the best response I've gotten was "Are you lonely? Is that why you have so many fish?" and one of my friends has crowned me the "CEO of fish". Some think it's cool, others kind of question it and think it's odd, but no one ever like makes fun of me for it. I was browsing live aquaria in English and I had people telling me I should buy a shark, and the kid who asked if I was lonely was helping me pick out fish

That is great too, at least it qualifies as a 'cool hobby' apparently! (Though your classmates sound like some potentially terrible fish owners A shark...)

Hahaha yup I’m the mad animal person in the middle of the downtown cbd

Most friends either like it or roll their eyes. My best mate was surprisingly for it but not interested in having fish himself. Then he spent a night here and ‘got it’ and his wife likes “pretty fish”. They are currently in the market for their first tank. I’m trying to talk them out of discus (no fish experience) and looking at realistic sizes. I think a nice community focusing on angelfish would be great for them.

I also have a flatmate who sublets the downstairs from me. He is definitely for it. He mentioned he loved shrimp so lo and behold the tank in the hallway outside his room is now full of shrimp. He’s a happy camper

It is great that you get to share your enthusiasm this way! Though if anything people are positive about the hobby in my surroundings, I still don't know anyone well that also keeps tanks. It would be so much fun to share inspirations and experiences over a cup of tea or something like that.

 

My husband is really supportive - with this hobby and my others (I'm 2 years into learning celtic fiddle). The most tanks I've had all my own was seven, but even though we have two in the living room now, I mentioned a fish I wanted that was incompatible with either of my current tanks, and he immediately asked what size tank they needed and where would it fit lol. He's always helped me with whatever I needed and he enjoys looking at the fruits of my labors.
The flip side of that support is, we have our finances well in hand, we each have our own budget, and as long as the bills are paid we don't tell each other what to do with our money. Second marriages are cool like that.

 

The flip side of that support is, we have our finances well in hand, we each have our own budget, and as long as the bills are paid we don't tell each other what to do with our money. Second marriages are cool like that.

First ones can be too.

 

My wife is supportive and loves the tanks. She just doesn't like doing the the work.

When we met she thought I was weird for loving fish so much. Then she got into scuba diving and realized that they're actually intelligent, affectionate animals. Now, we dive and she's the first one trying to find a fish to interact with her. I attached some of the pics of her and her underwater friends.

We both love fish, but keeping aquariums is more of my hobby. That said, 3 of the 4 tanks are actually because of her. She bought and set up a pea puffer tank, betta tank, and convinced me to buy spotted congo puffer (named Potato) for my 75G community tank. Potato needs snails, so we we had to set up my old 20G tank to grow snails for her. But after a while, she realized she didn't like taking care of the fish. She still likes looking at them and interacting with them, cries when one of our fish dies, but hates the maintenance. So I take care of our tanks. All she does is the aquascaping because I don't have a creative bone in my body. That's okay though because I actually enjoy doing it. She still does water changes when I'm sick or am super busy with life.

And apparently we can't get anymore tanks. I personally want a marine tank NOW. But the agreement is I can get a 125G saltwater tank when we get a house.

It's a super cheap since we already have the tanks and equipment. We just buy food every few months and Prime once a year. We both understand a 125G marine tank will be expensive, but we'll save up quick once we buy a house!

 

First ones can be too.

True. I'm glad you were luckier than my husband and I, who married the very wrong people at first, who wanted to control and dominate instead of affirm and cooperate.

 

True. I'm glad you were luckier than my husband and I, who married the very wrong people at first, who wanted to control and dominate instead of affirm and cooperate.

I have been lucky in that regard. We each try to treat the other as if he or she was an adult, and neither of us are the type to want to control or dominate anything or anybody.

 

With me, my husband knows, it's either fish in tanks in the house, or another horse in the stall-and flys, and vets, and farriers, and me gone riding all day...he's good with the fish lol!

I think my husband knows I’m not going to put another horse in a stall lol! 3 is enough!
But I seem to keep adding fish tanks!
And he is supportive of both. He just built the stand for my newest tank.

 

I think my husband knows I’m not going to put another horse in a stall lol! 3 is enough!
But I seem to keep adding fish tanks!
And he is supportive of both. He just built the stand for my newest tank.

I don’t know. I had a 8 stall pole barn with 6 horses in it once. Stay focused on the tanks. There a little less expensive. My husband use to say, “Why 6 horses? You only have one butt!” At least he doesn’t question the tanks. Lol!

 

I don’t know. I had a 8 stall pole barn with 6 horses in it once. Stay focused on the tanks. There a little less expensive. My husband use to say, “Why 6 horses? You only have one butt!” At least he doesn’t question the tanks. Lol!

Your husband sounds like someone I'd like to have a coffee with! Hahaha!

 

My parents think I have a problem and no friends because all I talk about is fish that I want from watching YouTube and my fishes behavior.

 

My parents think I have a problem and no friends because all I talk about is fish that I want from watching YouTube and my fishes behavior.

Same Lol I don't really have friends and my bf is annoyed when I talk about fish. Lol

 

Same Lol I don't really have friends and my bf is annoyed when I talk about fish. Lol

Lol

 

Same Lol I don't really have friends and my bf is annoyed when I talk about fish. Lol

Lol

Fools, all of them! They don't know what it means to have a passion. And it's a passion that actually feeds your mind and heart, a pursuit that is intellectual, artistic, builds empathy, fosters imagination, improves your mental focus... you know, all the best qualities of being a human being. Current society acts like being social or idolizing other people's work (music stars, movies etc) is the end-all be-all of being alive, but there is SO much more to explore, even in a tiny space ♡

My husband was the one who found a dying fish in a bag outside, knowing I would do my utmost to save it (alas I could not, in the end) but that catapulted us suddenly into fishkeeping. He's been 1000% supportive and is now also pretty excited. He and I have fallen utterly for the goldfishes. I do my best to keep it neat, cost effective, efficient and unobtrusive in our little apartment (even with a 75G tank and now another little 5G)

I've also worked it so the maintenance is not back breaking so that if I can't do it, he can. He doesn't geek on all the chemistry and particulars like I do but he can (and will!) at least do a water change and vacuuming

 

Both of my parents initially were confused and thought I was being silly when I first got my betta and was so determined on cycling the tank before I put him in. They were also baffled when I got a 20 long just for him and his single nerite. I bet they thought it was absurd when I had mentioned wanting to drive 3 hours away to buy some special snails too. Despite that though they've been supportive. My mom says hI to my betta whenever she comes in my room and checks on him and his snails when I'm away. My dad even volunteered to take me to get those snails despite having lots of work to do (hes a freelance landscaper). When my guppy tank caught camallanus and I lost all but one they were sympathetic. That tank is in the living room and that entire month they would keep an eye on the remaining fish and tell me when their symptoms got worse. They understand how much these little guys mean to me.

My partner doesn't live with me but has in the past. We have a general agreement that I can have fish or reptiles or whatever pet I want really so long as I take care of it. They would like it if in our future home I didn't have more than 5 aquariums but also said that would depend heavily on what was in them and how much money we had at the time.


TLDR; I'm surrounded by people who are chill with it but can sometimes be a little confused or concerned at the costs.

 

I got comments that I care about the fish more than my future kids. I have had some conflict over the tanks. Which is why I stopped at two, for now. However, I plan to expand well into the 125 gallons and 75 gallons caliber. I will just have to be sneaky about it. I always get it my way, so it's just a matter of time.

 

Having kept fish in his teens, my hubby is fine with my habit, er I mean hobby, as long as it doesn't break the bank and the kids don't go without. However given that he was more of a fish killer than a fish keeper (accidental of course) he refuses to help me out caring for them. He apparently couldn't even keep goldfish or guppies alive so he doesn't want to risk my babies with his 'black fingers'.

 

Man I dunno, if your partner is unwilling or unable to care for/about your hobby that's one thing, but if there are animals or lives involved that's a different ballgame. If I get sick or something happens to me I need to know my partner's got my back. These little lives depend on is for *everything* and if your SO would let them die then it's probably better not to have the tanks. Especially in the case of physical difficulties. Some of these fish live a really long time.

 

I kept fish when I was younger and my family members appear to be happy I'm taking up the hobby again, some of them even helping me out a bit with getting everything together for the aquarium.
When I was younger neither myself or my family knew much of anything about proper fish keeping and now that I'm looking into how to properly take care of aquatic creatures they think I'm going overboard but they still like I'm enjoying the hobby again.

 

All my GF said was cool when I told her. She hasn’t seen it yet.

 

My boyfriend loves my tanks, he says he gets all the benefits of fishkeeping without the responsibility! Touché hahahaha

 

My boyfriend loves my tanks, he says he gets all the benefits of fishkeeping without the responsibility! Touché hahahaha

Yep. My dad is kind of the same way. He has a big tank set up but I am the one taking care of it.

 

I recently got into this hobby over the summer, and within four months I'm up to eleven tanks, and I foresee a twelfth the next time I can find a good deal on craigslist for a 55 gallon or 75g. :B

My SO has a phobia of drowning, and additionally really dislikes the "soulless glares" of fish since early childhood. My fav bomb he dropped was saying he'd love to learn fishspeak, so he could tell my fish he hopes they die. He's says this, of course, with endearing dislike, we both manage to get a laugh out of it and I appreciate his transparency. I've been very fortunate he remains understanding and is able to be openly disgusted how much he loathes them, yet makes an effort to be tolerating. His line, reasonably and understandably, is when finances become an issue or other aspects of my life get neglected -- which I'm certainly capable of if I don't moderate and put up the horse blinders, haha.

My question to you folks is, how does your SO / family / friend think of your hobby? Supportive, hesitant, a waste of time, indifferent? I've run into two people in a row this past week in the hobby; one says her husband thinks is a waste of time and should flush her fish down the toilet, the others' boyfriend is more along the lines of my fellow in that he has a strong disdain but thinks lobsters are sorta cool.

Attached are some of my fishchildren. I'm raising guppies. :- )

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wow.. 'soulless glares' that was rough. Some people can be very insensitive, and just want to be the most valuable antagonist. But me personally became interested in the hobby because of stingray's. I got tired of going to the museum to see them. Rays, shrimps, and other rare/exotic fish are worth hundreds maybe thousands of dollars. I sold my newly born motoro stingray for 200.00. I live in Chicago, all my friends love my hobby and my kids get a chance to learn about the hobby.

 

I recently got into this hobby over the summer, and within four months I'm up to eleven tanks, and I foresee a twelfth the next time I can find a good deal on craigslist for a 55 gallon or 75g. :B

My SO has a phobia of drowning, and additionally really dislikes the "soulless glares" of fish since early childhood. My fav bomb he dropped was saying he'd love to learn fishspeak, so he could tell my fish he hopes they die. He's says this, of course, with endearing dislike, we both manage to get a laugh out of it and I appreciate his transparency. I've been very fortunate he remains understanding and is able to be openly disgusted how much he loathes them, yet makes an effort to be tolerating. His line, reasonably and understandably, is when finances become an issue or other aspects of my life get neglected -- which I'm certainly capable of if I don't moderate and put up the horse blinders, haha.

My question to you folks is, how does your SO / family / friend think of your hobby? Supportive, hesitant, a waste of time, indifferent? I've run into two people in a row this past week in the hobby; one says her husband thinks is a waste of time and should flush her fish down the toilet, the others' boyfriend is more along the lines of my fellow in that he has a strong disdain but thinks lobsters are sorta cool.

Attached are some of my fishchildren. I'm raising guppies. :- )

)View attachment 637812View attachment 637813

Late to the party, but I live with my grandmother and within the first year of joining the hobby I went from 1 betta tank to 10 different ones ranging from 5.5 gallons to 50 spread throughout the house. At first she was was ambivalent about having fish, not exactly caring what I do in my free time, but now she is in love! Everyday she checks on and talks to all the fish at least once, and frequently exclaims "I never thought I could get so attached to fish!" So she does not care how many tanks I have, so long as I let her enjoy the view. She is even going to allow me to convert the spare bedroom we used as a cat room into a fish room when our last kitty finally passes on, since she does not want cats anymore.

In regards to my SO, my long time girlfriend ADORES my fish, probably even more than I do! She still resides with her parents who complain about the little 5 gallon Fluval Spec tank she has and so she constantly tells me she is living vicariously through me and my many tanks. I often turn to her and get her opinion whenever I want to get more fish, change tank setup, or start a new tank which I think helps her feel more connected to my hobby. She is also so supportive that she sometimes helps me with maintenance on my tanks, something that really saved me (and my fish) after I suffered injuries in a car accident a couple weeks ago.

Overall I am super lucky to have a family that supports my hobby.

 

My boyfriend is okay with fish, but doesn't really care much, with some exceptions. My fish tank space competes with his hamster tank space, LOL. He expresses his disinterest in the money I spend and the space things take up, but every now and then, I catch him expressing interest in certain fish. He really likes angelfish and catfish - it took a long time to convince him most angelfish and catfish certainly can't fit in any size tank I currently have.

After seeing me care for fish for over a year, he fell in love with a betta at a store, so I helped him get all the supplies (he paid for most, I had an extra heater and filter at home), and he brought home "his" first fish. The only thing he would do is feed his betta, LOL, since he wanted to leave the "mystery of water changes" up to me I didn't mind, since it kept him quiet about me having tanks. He was heartbroken when the fish died about six months later from a mystery illness and vowed he would never love a fish again. Poor gentle soul... I can see the little bit of sadness in his eyes every time he sees my 2+ year old bettas and wishes his lived that long. I tried explaining to him that the Petsmart fish like his are often inbred and it definitely wasn't his fault, and that my plakats are just a bit more hardy, but it didn't help his heartache

He later saw the tiniest little 3/4inch albino bristlenose pleco and insisted I make him an addition to the 55 gallon. Again, I complied, knowing it would keep him happy and I enjoy when he expresses interest in my hobbies. A while later when we had to move unexpectedly and I needed to tear down and sell the 55 gallon and all its inhabitants, he again was heartbroken to part with his sweet little fish, and at that point still only around 2 inches. It took weeks of preparing my boyfriend with "I'm going to find him a great home, don't worry" before I actually rehomed the bristlenose. He was still heartbroken, though, and to this day still won't let it go! He always says "He would have been perfectly fine in your 10 gallon..." "No, not for very long" "But it could have just been for a little longer..."

I still feel so bad about it, he gets so attached, but I needed to put the fish's welfare first. I hope I haven't permanently ruined his fish keeping experiences I'm hoping he'll eventually be willing to open up his heart to another fish in the future, when we've got more space for another larger tank and he can get the angelfish he's always dreamed of.

 

My boyfriend always wants to take me fish shopping, so sweet but I don’t always have room/ready space for new fishies. And I’m shy about giving too many lectures about fish keeping practices, I don’t want to discourage the cute offers!

 

Update: my dad was quite grumpy that my brother and I brought home another tank. Had to tell him we'll decommission one or two smaller ones lol. Dunno why he's so bothered, it will have nothing to do with him and we bought it on our on money.

Another thing: my friend's family took in an extremely personable betta that I didn't have room for. My friend told me that her family adores him and babytalks to him all the time. Just goes to show how interesting a healthy happy fish can be.

 

Ha only got one tank - I bought it for my partner for his birthday. He's a lazy so and so and it wasn't long before I was doing all the work and planting, gardening etc. We still both choose fish but we're both happy with it

 

I have no family members nearby, so none of them have seen my tanks. My SO is my man, Boo (19 year old cat). Boo doesn't mind at all, though. People who occasionally visit, seem to think it's weird. The other day, a guy came in to replace the bathroom floor. He went in and out for supplies several times, walking right past my 75 gallon, within inches. Then, all of a sudden he noticed it and said, 'you know, I've been in and out of here at least four times and never noticed this tank!' It's in my living room, which is absolutely tiny!! Overall, I think most people think it's a weird hobby. Perhaps that's why I haven't found an SO !!!!!

 

Most of the remarks from family go something like this "Why do you change the water so much, don't you get tired of it?" or "Don't you ever feed them? (African cichlids splashing in the background)".

I had a fish die a little while back (this might sound terrible but I didn't really care) and everyone was like "Oh, are you all right?" "Are you okay?" and I was thinking, "Fight the urge to fling the dead fish at them! FIGHT IT!!!"

I might sound horrible, but it's true.

 

My DH thinks it's a huge waste of money but what does he know?