"It's either me, or the fish"... fishkeepers, what does your SO / family / friends think of your hobby?

EmmGood

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I recently got into this hobby over the summer, and within four months I'm up to eleven tanks, and I foresee a twelfth the next time I can find a good deal on craigslist for a 55g or 75g. :B

My SO has a phobia of drowning, and additionally really dislikes the "soulless glares" of fish since early childhood. My fav bomb he dropped was saying he'd love to learn fishspeak, so he could tell my fish he hopes they die. He's says this, of course, with endearing dislike, we both manage to get a laugh out of it and I appreciate his transparency. I've been very fortunate he remains understanding and is able to be openly disgusted how much he loathes them, yet makes an effort to be tolerating. His line, reasonably and understandably, is when finances become an issue or other aspects of my life get neglected -- which I'm certainly capable of if I don't moderate and put up the horse blinders, haha.

My question to you folks is, how does your SO / family / friend think of your hobby? Supportive, hesitant, a waste of time, indifferent? I've run into two people in a row this past week in the hobby; one says her husband thinks is a waste of time and should flush her fish down the toilet, the others' boyfriend is more along the lines of my fellow in that he has a strong disdain but thinks lobsters are sorta cool.

Attached are some of my fishchildren. I'm raising guppies. :- )

) IMG_20191120_232110_977.jpg IMG_20191121_140312_585.jpg 20191119_180040.jpg
 
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EmmGood

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FinalFins said:
Mother thinks it is completely absurd I have 3 tanks.
My mom remarks on how she'd love to eat them, particularly my shrimp and blue crayfish. :"D
 

kallililly1973

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My girlfriend/wife :) loves all my tanks (7). Super supportive. But that could have a lot to do with not living together (yet). She tells me if i was doing a lousy job and trust me she would tell me ;) that it would be a waste but she and of course I am also very amazed at how far i've gotten and learned and accomplished in the past 2.5 years. But i still get the "BABE" line whenever i say i got a new "wetkid" :)
 

Rcslade124

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My SO doesn't like freshwater fish. But shes dieing for a saltwater tank. She makes all kinds of jokes if she had gills I'd pay attention to her more. But she tolerates it. She supports me being happy but she definitely gets annoyed. Her only rule right now is anymore tanks hasto be a saltwater for her. I only have 3. 2 youngest kids love the fish. They are going to be my BABE line in the future. Gf cannot say not to our son so I'll make him ask for tanks hahaha
 
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EmmGood

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kallililly1973 said:
My girlfriend/wife :) loves all my tanks (7). Super supportive. But that could have a lot to do with not living together (yet). She tells me if i was doing a lousy job and trust me she would tell me ;) that it would be a waste but she and of course I am also very amazed at how far i've gotten and learned and accomplished in the past 2.5 years. But i still get the "BABE" line whenever i say i got a new "wetkid" :)
That is very sweet to hear. <3 And I'm also on a similar boat, as we have yet to move in together and I suspect once he sees the amount of gushing and time I take to do maintenance/water changes/being all meticulous with what plants go where.... we'll see how things will be tested. >:3

I'm hoping to get to a place I can make my tanks a little more self-sustaining with some blue sapphire shrimp and guppies I've been raising. I'd love that we could move into a place with a spare, that way I can keep the water demons out of sight and out of mind for his comfort, haha.

Thanks for sharing. :- )
 

KingJamal2

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EmmGood said:
I recently got into this hobby over the summer, and within four months I'm up to eleven tanks, and I foresee a twelfth the next time I can find a good deal on craigslist for a 55g or 75g. :B

My SO has a phobia of drowning, and additionally really dislikes the "soulless glares" of fish since early childhood. My fav bomb he dropped was saying he'd love to learn fishspeak, so he could tell my fish he hopes they die. He's says this, of course, with endearing dislike, we both manage to get a laugh out of it and I appreciate his transparency. I've been very fortunate he remains understanding and is able to be openly disgusted how much he loathes them, yet makes an effort to be tolerating. His line, reasonably and understandably, is when finances become an issue or other aspects of my life get neglected -- which I'm certainly capable of if I don't moderate and put up the horse blinders, haha.

My question to you folks is, how does your SO / family / friend think of your hobby? Supportive, hesitant, a waste of time, indifferent? I've run into two people in a row this past week in the hobby; one says her husband thinks is a waste of time and should flush her fish down the toilet, the others' boyfriend is more along the lines of my fellow in that he has a strong disdain but thinks lobsters are sorta cool.

Attached are some of my fishchildren. I'm raising guppies. :- )

)View attachment 637812View attachment 637813View attachment 637811
Parents find it confusing how much money I spend on tanks. Sometimes they refuse to take me to the fish store.
 

Dennis57

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40 years of marriage, and my Wife tells me when you go the fish go! I only have 4 tanks.
Trying to convince her to let me get a Harley again. I may get more tanks instead. :)
 
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EmmGood

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Rcslade124 said:
My SO doesn't like freshwater fish. But shes dieing for a saltwater tank. She makes all kinds of jokes if she had gills I'd pay attention to her more. But she tolerates it. She supports me being happy but she definitely gets annoyed. Her only rule right now is anymore tanks hasto be a saltwater for her. I only have 3. 2 youngest kids love the fish. They are going to be my BABE line in the future. Gf cannot say not to our son so I'll make him ask for tanks hahaha
Oh my goodness, hands down a father+son team to plea to mom for more fish would be the best fatherSon mission, haha. So sneaky! If my BF and I had children, I feel he'd absolutely jump on that wagon if there was something I was on the fence in. x'D

It's nice to hear she is understanding (albeit thru grit teeth the odd time, from the sounds of it -- my BF is the same if that's the only thing I keep talking about, bless his soul).

Thanks for sharin'. :- )
 
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EmmGood

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KingJamal2 said:
Parents find it confusing how much money I spend on tanks. Sometimes they refuse to take me to the fish store.
Oh, my parents would absolutely do that as well if I was crazy about fish when I lived with them. They control the vehicles and I lived outside of town, so they had complete power where we could go. They did something similar with video games, everytime I'd go to the electronics area eyeing a game I super wanted... that got old for them pretty fast. x' ]

Sorry that's the case, that sounds like it can be frustrating. When you're able to get your own place (and I know that can feel like a million years away sometimes), you'll have more freedom to manage how you'd like to handle your finances and support yourself/your happiness. It won't be like that forever.
 

Elkwatcher

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KingJamal2 said:
Parents find it confusing how much money I spend on tanks. Sometimes they refuse to take me to the fish store.
Shhhh... don't talk about money.. if husband knew he'd want to spend the equivalent... don't go there pleeeze! :D
 

Dart

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I'm a horse show girl, so the fact that my hubby who is NOT originally a horse guy was so accepting of them and has even begun showing with me makes the fish thing SO minimal in the grand scheme of things. Horses are SO much more expensive than fish. We both try to support each other in our hobbies (he's a hunter), and it hasn't created any issues yet. I wouldn't have married him if he wasn't supportive of me...horse showing is SO time and money intensive, that it wasn't worth my time to waste it on someone who wouldn't support me.
 

KingJamal2

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EmmGood said:
Oh, my parents would absolutely do that as well if I was crazy about fish when I lived with them. They control the vehicles and I lived outside of town, so they had complete power where we could go. They did something similar with video games, everytime I'd go to the electronics area eyeing a game I super wanted... that got old for them pretty fast. x' ]

Sorry that's the case, that sounds like it can be frustrating. When you're able to get your own place (and I know that can feel like a million years away sometimes), you'll have more freedom to manage how you'd like to handle your finances and support yourself/your happiness. It won't be like that forever.
Thanks, my grandpa is into it, so I can have him come pick me up and take me there. I do look forward to when I have my own place. More room for fish tanks!
 

scarface

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Most people are indifferent, a few think they're cool, but I also didn't get 11 tanks within 4 months either, sooo . . . perspectives, I imagine, are going to be a lot different.
 

Momgoose56

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With me, my husband knows, it's either fish in tanks in the house, or another horse in the stall-and flys, and vets, and farriers, and me gone riding all day...he's good with the fish lol!
 

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Most of the remarks from family go something like this "Why do you change the water so much, don't you get tired of it?" or "Don't you ever feed them? (African cichlids splashing in the background)".

As far as money goes, I make and spend my own as well as take myself to the petstore when need be. Being an adult does have it's perks ;)
 

smee82

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david1978 said:
We have one member that his mother in law did eat his shrimp.
I admit it my mother in law ate some of my RCS @david1978 will never let me live it down. However in my mother in laws defense she is chinese and they do eat anything. Theres a chinese saying that translates to "they will eat every thing 4 legs escept a table and every thing with a back except a chair"

In all honesty its no different really from living on a far farm and slaughtering your own animals for food.

My wife is pretty indifferent to my fish most of the time. She likes looking at them but doesnt like the costs associated with it.
 

PascalKrypt

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Lots of interesting comments here ^^
I'm single so I have no problems in this department, haha. I do everything low budget so my only real limit is space which.. has been reached :p I mean, I don't want to be up to my ears in tanks but I do have a rack in my living room. Hmmmm....

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Demeter said:
As far as money goes, I make and spend my own as well as take myself to the petstore when need be. Being an adult does have it's perks ;)
Though indeed family members are surprised by the amount of work involved and that I'd be willing to do that (really, weekly water changes?!).

My family are all big uh.. nature-philes? Not sure how to put it, but as in, they all think animal and plant keeping is cool, they have interest in self-sustaining systems, etc. So even though none of them are into fish specifically, they do like to check out my tanks and - bless me - are actually positively impressed when I get things to work. Both my mom and my brother are really into botanics and invest a lot of time and effort into their large gardens, so they understand the sentiment really well.
My dad is the least interested in these things but he perks up whenever I tell him I'm breeding something, for some reason he does like that (the idea of creating something instead of just keeping it maybe?). Kind of like how he has only one or two plants in the yard he cares for a lot, but he does so with great effort (spending an hour every day for weeks watering them when we had a heat wave) and he really wants to propagate them, but lacks the knowledge to quite get it right.
My brother and his partner don't have any animals aside from their dog, though they would like to. They don't feel like dedicating so much of their time to taking care of a habitat, which you know, kudos to them for being responsible. My sister-in-law though about getting a betta for one of those decorative molded-around-a-piece-of-wood bowls. Both me and my brother talked her out of it.

Maybe it's something in the genes, I have a cousin that married someone who does taxidermy of birds for a living. It creeps the majority of people out but we all think it is cool and very impressive, I have a few that were done by him under glass domes. His kids knew more about birds when they were eight than the local gamekeeper, can recognise all native birds by call and so on. :3 So everyone has their interests, making it not so hard to relate.
(... at least I like her husband more than the boyfriend she had when I was young, he was into keep venomous spiders and snakes. They had a house of horrors with over twenty enclosures of those and kept naked rats in addition to the common furry ones they bred to feed their pets. To each their own :p)


EmmGood said:
Attached are some of my fishchildren. I'm raising guppies. :- )

)View attachment 637812View attachment 637813View attachment 637811
Just wanted to say that those are absolutely gorgeous pictures!

david1978 said:
We have one member that his mother in law did eat his shrimp.
Wait what? o.o What kind of story lurks behind that phrase....?
Edit: I see this got answered.

kallililly1973 said:
My girlfriend/wife :) loves all my tanks (7). Super supportive. But that could have a lot to do with not living together (yet). She tells me if i was doing a lousy job and trust me she would tell me ;) that it would be a waste but she and of course I am also very amazed at how far i've gotten and learned and accomplished in the past 2.5 years. But i still get the "BABE" line whenever i say i got a new "wetkid" :)
She has it easy going by this thread :p You should show it to her to convince her that you should have more tanks.

KingJamal2 said:
Parents find it confusing how much money I spend on tanks. Sometimes they refuse to take me to the fish store.
Sorry to hear that :( It's sad when parents don't support your hobby. Though I do hope you are getting by on (presumably) limited means!
 
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