poeticinjustices
- #1
All right, I just need to get it out. Today has been the most awful fishy day. O, let me count the ways.
1) V may have fin rot again. He has that funny little split in his tail, which I think was damage incurred as a juvie where the tail healed around it (Fried Bettas suggested that's what may have happened, and I think it makes a lot of sense), and inside the split are 2 little fin rays like CT rays. They look like they've been that way for awhile and are fully healed. This morning, I noticed those rays looked a little degraded/shredded/thin/weak. I'm not 100% sure it's fin rot, in fact I considered the possibility he did it to himself. Maybe he even created the initial split himself. But his tank parameters are perfect and there is no dangerous decor in his tank and I've baffled the filter enough that he can swim freely, which he does. He doesn't seem sick at all, but he seems a little...cranky? He's flaring an awful lot and at nothing much in particular. He even flared at me, which I'm guessing might have to do with the fact that the only time the "other betta" (mirror) shows up, is when I do too. But I think he's a little irritable and that has to do with his fins. They damaged rays kind of look a little pink, but I'm not sure if it's the reddish tones in his natural color or rot. I'm going to monitor for change and medicate if it progresses but I just don't understand it. It's very frustrating to work so hard and not be able to figure out what went wrong to fix it in the future. I'm having some trouble with torn fins in the goldie tank too and I just cannot figure out what's causing it. Lola's enormous tear is 100% healed 4 days later. Motley's tear is much smaller, 24 hours old, and doesn't appear to be healing yet. For some reason, I don't expect her to heal as well as Lola did. If she gets fin rot or secondary infection, though, I may just fall to pieces. I just don't know what's causing the tears, the only decor in their tank is live plants. Rex can be a bit of a bully at feeding time, but it's hard to imagine fin nipping causing a single, long, clean split like that. Motley's looks a little less long, and when Rex DOES bully it's often Motley he targets (typically the pelvic fins), so I suppose it's possible it got her. I just hate seeing her in particular injured as she has so much working against her already. I start to feel like I am failing them, and I absolutely hate that feeling because they have never once failed me.
2) I decided not to use the stand my 75 gallon came with. It needs a lot of cosmetic work but in addition it's too tall for me to comfortably work inside the tank. I end up with the top edge of the tank shoved in my armpit haha and can't quite reach the bottom back of the tank. So I found a really awesome looking shorter, custom, wood stand. I drove the 45 minutes out there today to check it out because it looked perfect and was such a steal I decided it was worth it. Anyway, it's an old stand and had been in the guy's garage awhile so I checked it over for warping and wood-eating insect damage. Found none. It wasn't until the drive home shook up the stand that the wood-boring beetles came out. The stand is just not safe for use. It looks fine on the outside, but I have no idea what's going on inside. Now the guy is willing to take it back but honestly he is so far away I'd have spent as much in gas driving out there and back again as I would have gotten back in returning the stand. It is kind of close to my LFS, though, so maybe next time I make a trip out there I can bring it back.
3) Because the drive was so far and we had to take my boyfriend to pick up his car elsewhere (which was also very far away, and a completely different direction, so I'm talking hours of driving here), we had to bring his grandfather. Of course in my car which has better AC. On the way back, we were stuck in bumper to bumper highway traffic (and who doesn't love that kind of traffic in a manual transmission, you either have to rock the clutch/1st gear in little bursts or give the car in front of you lots of time to get ahead, but then someone just cuts in and fills the space anyway HAHA) and he neglected to mention that he had to use the bathroom. Nowhere to go, I gave him a plastic bag. But being 87 years old with Alzheimer's, he still managed to urinate all over my seat. And who can I be mad at but myself? I should've stopped and made him go beforehand. By the time I could do anything about it, it was fully absorbed and, being 90 degrees outside, almost dry as well. I did the best I could but my seat will likely need to be stripped and reupholstered as I cannot live with the thought of any remaining urine in my seat. I am just too neurotic for that. It will haunt my dreams haha. This is crushing as this car is probably the only brand new vehicle I'll ever own haha and I take pride in keeping it in good condition.
So, today I spent about $45 (stand + gas) to get - a ruined car seat and an unusable stand. I try not to make a big deal out of my problems, but it's been an especially rough year, even by my standards. After awhile even the strongest of us have to ask - is someone out there screwing with me? Making a board game of my life and really sucking at playing it? The only thing I want right now is to get that tank set up. It's been a long time since I've made it to a yoga practice and, having no beaches in this city, it's hard for me to find real peace here, without those things I feel incomplete. This is what the aquarium means to me. Something that is just for me to enjoy, no strings attached, no greater purpose (other than saving fishies). But it seems that every time I've taken a step toward getting it set up, another wrench is thrown into the works, and I'm set back at least a week. At this point, I've wasted enough money to be well on my way to purchasing a brand new stand. Don't I just wish a little birdie would come down and tell me, "Hey, whatever you try to do to save money on the tank, it's gonna backfire, so just put the money aside and buy yourself a new stand when you can afford it." It's hard because I don't put products up for sale without fully inspecting it to make sure it's usable and being honest when there are any problems, and I expect that in others, which leads me to be too trusting and ultimately things so sour more often than not.
I don't whine much, by nature. I figure it's more likely to have its intended, cathartic effect if I reserve it for when I really feel I need it But I do wear my heart on my sleeve and, being an emotional and passionate person, every once in awhile, that has a few consequences. You hold it together through so much awful stuff and then one tiny, irrelevant, totally surmountable thing happens and the scaffolding of optimism you've so carefully assembled, well, it crumbles. It's like when you're having a bad day, but you haven't quite acknowledged it and are pushing through, then someone decides to utter those 3 fateful words "Are you okay?" and suddenly you're not okay at all haha. I'll make like I always do, feel it, move past it and eventually achieve what I'm trying to achieve and be proud or having made it happen. But the fighting gets tiresome and every once in awhile, a girl has to grant herself a pity party. And I guess that's what I'm doing. And I'm limiting the content here on FL to fishy drama only, though there's plenty of other stuff to go around haha, simply because I know you've all probably faced a time like this in fish-keeping. Perhaps even times that were far, far worse and would put my little diatribe to shame haha. But, I figure you'll all understand my frustration, being the awesome people here that you are, and that's some kind of consolation not to be written off.
So, we come round to my post title, it's a pity party in my post, and everyone's invited
That's really all there is to it. Thanks for liste...erm...reading
1) V may have fin rot again. He has that funny little split in his tail, which I think was damage incurred as a juvie where the tail healed around it (Fried Bettas suggested that's what may have happened, and I think it makes a lot of sense), and inside the split are 2 little fin rays like CT rays. They look like they've been that way for awhile and are fully healed. This morning, I noticed those rays looked a little degraded/shredded/thin/weak. I'm not 100% sure it's fin rot, in fact I considered the possibility he did it to himself. Maybe he even created the initial split himself. But his tank parameters are perfect and there is no dangerous decor in his tank and I've baffled the filter enough that he can swim freely, which he does. He doesn't seem sick at all, but he seems a little...cranky? He's flaring an awful lot and at nothing much in particular. He even flared at me, which I'm guessing might have to do with the fact that the only time the "other betta" (mirror) shows up, is when I do too. But I think he's a little irritable and that has to do with his fins. They damaged rays kind of look a little pink, but I'm not sure if it's the reddish tones in his natural color or rot. I'm going to monitor for change and medicate if it progresses but I just don't understand it. It's very frustrating to work so hard and not be able to figure out what went wrong to fix it in the future. I'm having some trouble with torn fins in the goldie tank too and I just cannot figure out what's causing it. Lola's enormous tear is 100% healed 4 days later. Motley's tear is much smaller, 24 hours old, and doesn't appear to be healing yet. For some reason, I don't expect her to heal as well as Lola did. If she gets fin rot or secondary infection, though, I may just fall to pieces. I just don't know what's causing the tears, the only decor in their tank is live plants. Rex can be a bit of a bully at feeding time, but it's hard to imagine fin nipping causing a single, long, clean split like that. Motley's looks a little less long, and when Rex DOES bully it's often Motley he targets (typically the pelvic fins), so I suppose it's possible it got her. I just hate seeing her in particular injured as she has so much working against her already. I start to feel like I am failing them, and I absolutely hate that feeling because they have never once failed me.
2) I decided not to use the stand my 75 gallon came with. It needs a lot of cosmetic work but in addition it's too tall for me to comfortably work inside the tank. I end up with the top edge of the tank shoved in my armpit haha and can't quite reach the bottom back of the tank. So I found a really awesome looking shorter, custom, wood stand. I drove the 45 minutes out there today to check it out because it looked perfect and was such a steal I decided it was worth it. Anyway, it's an old stand and had been in the guy's garage awhile so I checked it over for warping and wood-eating insect damage. Found none. It wasn't until the drive home shook up the stand that the wood-boring beetles came out. The stand is just not safe for use. It looks fine on the outside, but I have no idea what's going on inside. Now the guy is willing to take it back but honestly he is so far away I'd have spent as much in gas driving out there and back again as I would have gotten back in returning the stand. It is kind of close to my LFS, though, so maybe next time I make a trip out there I can bring it back.
3) Because the drive was so far and we had to take my boyfriend to pick up his car elsewhere (which was also very far away, and a completely different direction, so I'm talking hours of driving here), we had to bring his grandfather. Of course in my car which has better AC. On the way back, we were stuck in bumper to bumper highway traffic (and who doesn't love that kind of traffic in a manual transmission, you either have to rock the clutch/1st gear in little bursts or give the car in front of you lots of time to get ahead, but then someone just cuts in and fills the space anyway HAHA) and he neglected to mention that he had to use the bathroom. Nowhere to go, I gave him a plastic bag. But being 87 years old with Alzheimer's, he still managed to urinate all over my seat. And who can I be mad at but myself? I should've stopped and made him go beforehand. By the time I could do anything about it, it was fully absorbed and, being 90 degrees outside, almost dry as well. I did the best I could but my seat will likely need to be stripped and reupholstered as I cannot live with the thought of any remaining urine in my seat. I am just too neurotic for that. It will haunt my dreams haha. This is crushing as this car is probably the only brand new vehicle I'll ever own haha and I take pride in keeping it in good condition.
So, today I spent about $45 (stand + gas) to get - a ruined car seat and an unusable stand. I try not to make a big deal out of my problems, but it's been an especially rough year, even by my standards. After awhile even the strongest of us have to ask - is someone out there screwing with me? Making a board game of my life and really sucking at playing it? The only thing I want right now is to get that tank set up. It's been a long time since I've made it to a yoga practice and, having no beaches in this city, it's hard for me to find real peace here, without those things I feel incomplete. This is what the aquarium means to me. Something that is just for me to enjoy, no strings attached, no greater purpose (other than saving fishies). But it seems that every time I've taken a step toward getting it set up, another wrench is thrown into the works, and I'm set back at least a week. At this point, I've wasted enough money to be well on my way to purchasing a brand new stand. Don't I just wish a little birdie would come down and tell me, "Hey, whatever you try to do to save money on the tank, it's gonna backfire, so just put the money aside and buy yourself a new stand when you can afford it." It's hard because I don't put products up for sale without fully inspecting it to make sure it's usable and being honest when there are any problems, and I expect that in others, which leads me to be too trusting and ultimately things so sour more often than not.
I don't whine much, by nature. I figure it's more likely to have its intended, cathartic effect if I reserve it for when I really feel I need it But I do wear my heart on my sleeve and, being an emotional and passionate person, every once in awhile, that has a few consequences. You hold it together through so much awful stuff and then one tiny, irrelevant, totally surmountable thing happens and the scaffolding of optimism you've so carefully assembled, well, it crumbles. It's like when you're having a bad day, but you haven't quite acknowledged it and are pushing through, then someone decides to utter those 3 fateful words "Are you okay?" and suddenly you're not okay at all haha. I'll make like I always do, feel it, move past it and eventually achieve what I'm trying to achieve and be proud or having made it happen. But the fighting gets tiresome and every once in awhile, a girl has to grant herself a pity party. And I guess that's what I'm doing. And I'm limiting the content here on FL to fishy drama only, though there's plenty of other stuff to go around haha, simply because I know you've all probably faced a time like this in fish-keeping. Perhaps even times that were far, far worse and would put my little diatribe to shame haha. But, I figure you'll all understand my frustration, being the awesome people here that you are, and that's some kind of consolation not to be written off.
So, we come round to my post title, it's a pity party in my post, and everyone's invited
That's really all there is to it. Thanks for liste...erm...reading
