I feel Bad

sheila1998

So long story short, I got a betta fish about a year and a half ago. I thought I was doing him a good deed by getting a 2.5 gallon tank compared to the cup he came in. I was not on top of the cleaning and my ignorance lead me to believe the green stuff in the tank was beneficial by mimicking their natural habitat. Had I known any better, I would have been on top of it. Looking back I realize how stupid that natural habitat mentality was. Anyways, overtime he got fin rot and by the time I researched and realized what it is, I began treatments. I got him a 6.5 gallon tank. I tried every possible solution from freshwater salt, to anti fungals, to fin rot medicine, to betta conditioner, etc. I tried numerous times and it got to the point where the medicine was burning his fins even more so I just quit on that. I realized it was too late to help my little guy and he slowly deteriorated overtime. But he still ate everyday, although during his last days he wasn't as active anymore. I decided it was time to euthanize him. I followed instructions and I guess I poured in the clove oil solution too quickly and saw him struggle and want to jump out the water. I took him out for a moment wondering if maybe it was too strong and returned him back to his tank for a few seconds but it was too late and I placed him back in the clove oil mixture. Eventually the deed was done and to add onto my guilt that last was scene of him trying to get out of the water was a little traumatizing. I don't understand how all of this could happen when I tried my very best. I don't know if I will ever recover from this emotionally. I don't know how people commit murder, when my little guy is haunting me. It makes me wonder if every single living being is based on just being lucky and unlucky. Are humans and all living beings just born lucky and unlucky? Like this little guy had to go through all of this because he was just unlucky to have me as a mom. And I am about to start a 10 gallon tank and a new 6 gallon tank with general freshwater fish which although I have ran many successful freshwater tanks before I am now second guessing myself. He was my first betta and I did not realize bettas were so sensitive. I didn't realize a small tank would need more cleaning. I didn't realize he needed complete fresh water. Now I understand why those guys in the bamboo vases live a long time although their space is small, its sparkly clean. I was trying to be better than someone who keeps them in little glass bowls, but now I think, that would've been a better life for him. I can't get the thought of his last moments out of my head and I wonder if it was the right decision to let him go but all of his fins were basically gone and his eyes looked like Popeye, although he was still eating. I always thought of him as a strong fighter because even with his illness he was still able to eat and maybe with his last moments he fought too because thats just who he was. I read that fish get excited if too much clove oil is added, but to me it looked like he basically just got choked to death by me, his amazing mother. Maybe it wasn't even his time and I should've slowly let him die naturally. Because if fish don't feel pain then what difference would it be if I euthanized him or if I let him die naturally. I'm embarrassed at how bad he looks, but I also want to show him to get confirmation that it was too late for him because anything I tried didn't work. Maybe I jumped the gun, but maybe not because he was getting worse day by day it was just very slow. Please be honest with me. I guess I came here to find out if anyone has ever gone through something traumatic like this, if I am taking too serious, if I should have not done it, or what. Maybe I need tougher skin if I want to own fish.
 

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Convictkim

Hi. Ooh no. Now I'm traumatised from reading your sad story. Really don't be so hard on yourself. It's so sad that you lost the little guy and I feel for you but things like this happen. I think you are a great "Mum". If you feel you made a mistake, well we all make mistakes and hopefully learn from them but don't beat yourself up. That's part of life.
 
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ValkyrieLips

I know I'm going to get cr*p for this response, but If you want my honest opinion he didn't look too far gone. His scales looked healthy, he had decent colour, was swimming upright and was still eating. Fin rot is treatable with a lot of hard work. Regardless of my opinion I'm sorry you went through this, you did your best.
 
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Dechi

I think he looks bad, his tail is gone. I understand you wanted him to go peacefully instead of slowly agonizing. That was the human thing to do. Sometimes things just don’t go as planned. At least he is not suffering anymore, and you learned a great deal.

I’m really not new at fish keeping, I’ve been doing it for a very long time but I never had a Betta. I overfed my first one and he got dropsy. I tried to save him but I couldn’t and he died. I loved him and I was very sad. My second one, of course I didn’t overfeed, but he jumped through the filter hole in his tank and when I found him it was too late.

So you see, stuff happens, even when we’re trying to be the best we can be. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
 
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sheila1998

Hi. Ooh no. Now I'm traumatised from reading your sad story. Really don't be so hard on yourself. It's so sad that you lost the little guy and I feel for you but things like this happen. I think you are a great "Mum". If you feel you made a mistake, well we all make mistakes and hopefully learn from them but don't beat yourself up. That's part of life.
You’re right. I guess overtime it will hurt less


I know I'm going to get cr*p for this response, but If you want my honest opinion he didn't look too far gone. His scales looked healthy, he had decent colour, was swimming upright and was still eating. Fin rot is treatable with a lot of hard work. Regardless of my opinion I'm sorry you went through this, you did your best.
No no don’t worry I appreciate honesty. I also have to mention that his gills were puffed out meaning breathing trouble as well as his eyes like Popeye. When I looked online I saw much less worse cases that the fish was too far gone so I knew he was way past that. Also you can’t see that well in the picture that his top fins were being held on by a thread and the end of his body especially on the other side not just his fins was slowly being eaten away by the disease because I could see the white underlayer of his scales in the back. It’s hard to tell in the picture. Another thing is he wouldn’t move all day long and the last few days was the weakest I’ve ever seen him behave. Also the treatments were stressing him out and actually burning more fin off but I did them extensively. I feel like I gave it my best shot and just wanted him to stop suffering because every week I noticed more and more fin loss. It may have just been a slow death but who knows.
 
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Patriotthebetta

That so sad, I practically crying, I'm so sorry for your loss
 
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sheila1998

I think he looks bad, his tail is gone. I understand you wanted him to go peacefully instead of slowly agonizing. That was the human thing to do. Sometimes things just don’t go as planned. At least he is not suffering anymore, and you learned a great deal.

I’m really not new at fish keeping, I’ve been doing it for a very long time but I never had a Betta. I overfed my first one and he got dropsy. I tried to save him but I couldn’t and he died. I loved him and I was very sad. My second one, of course I didn’t overfeed, but he jumped through the filter hole in his tank and when I found him it was too late.

So you see, stuff happens, even when we’re trying to be the best we can be. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
That does make me feel a little better and even my friend’s betta had jumped out the bowl so I imagine the suffering is the same type of losing air or breathing in a chemical. Just hard to know that I did that and not his own mistake. I always have to learn things the hard way. Poor guy. Atleast I can know I didn’t mean to make him suffer but accidents happen. And it was only for a few seconds

That so sad, I practically crying, I'm so sorry for your loss
Thank you I feel like a murderer
 
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Patriotthebetta

Thank you I feel like a murderer
No need to feel like a murderer, you just did what's best for you fish, he's in a better place now.
 
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Utar

I am so sorry for what you went through losing your betta. But you are in the learning faze about fish keeping and your heart is in the right place.
 
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sheila1998

No need to feel like a murderer, you just did what's best for you fish, he's in a better place now.
I think you’re right ❤

I am so sorry for what you went through losing your betta. But you are in the learning faze about fish keeping and your heart is in the right place.
That is true thank you
 
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I am sorry this has happened it sounds like u did your best for him if and when your ready to try again I will help u with a lot of info so u can keep him or her healthy and to keep the betta for a very long time
 
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sheila1998

I am sorry this has happened it sounds like u did your best for him if and when your ready to try again I will help u with a lot of info so u can keep him or her healthy and to keep the betta for a very long time
I think I owe it to him to home my 6 gallon to a betta. I was considering a pea puffer but maybe I should stick to a betta. I am considering it and I think giving another betta a great life will make up for the mistakes I made with this one. Atleast he would have passed for a good cause. I would love your help!
 
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DanielZebra32798

You went through such lengths to save him. Despite how you feel right now, just know that you gave it your best and this is something that should give you some bit of peace with the situation.
 
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sheila1998

You went through such lengths to save him. Despite how you feel right now, just know that you gave it your best and this is something that should give you some bit of peace with the situation.
Yes you are right I really did give it my best. Thank you that definitely does give me some peace :/
 
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Wrench

We all feel your pain and have all second guessed ourselves and the decisions we made.
This is Miss.Bala...she was almost 2 years old and died from I believe ich. ....this was Tuesday.
Wednesday I also lost my 2 year old blue pictus cat and yesterday I lost my albino pleco, these 3 fish were my o.g fish when I first started doing this.....is happens....we have all lost fish, just try not to repeat your same mistakes over again and go get you your betta ok ? , chin up, go find a sad looking fish at the store and take him home.
20200701_075230.jpg
20200701_075655.jpg
 
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sheila1998

I am so sorry for your losses that was very sweet of you to bury. Thank you for sharing that and I think thats exactly what I will do and will make me feel the best in honor of him!
 
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Wrench

I am so sorry for your losses that was very sweet of you to bury. Thank you for sharing that and I think thats exactly what I will do and will make me feel the best in honor of him!
She is the first fish I have ever buried.......it sucks..but i will be buying another bala around where her size was next weekend.
 
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sheila1998

She is the first fish I have ever buried.......it sucks..but i will be buying another bala around where her size was next weekend.
Aw yay that is exciting. This one won’t replace her but will live in her honor
 
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Wrench

Aw yay that is exciting. This one won’t replace her but will live in her honor
Basically lol, either that or I am going to go get the big big guy at my l.f.s who looks miserable in about a 40 gallon....I think hes a he and he is about a foot long.
 
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I think I owe it to him to home my 6 gallon to a betta. I was considering a pea puffer but maybe I should stick to a betta. I am considering it and I think giving another betta a great life will make up for the mistakes I made with this one. Atleast he would have passed for a good cause. I would love your help!
your welcome to keep a betta healthy it is recommended to use an indian ammond leaf in there tank that will help with the ph and gh and kh in the water and I would highly recommend using a air driven sponge filter and a heater set at 26 digress and feed frozen brine shrimp they love frozen blood worms both of the foods can be given alive to but frozen is better they all so like freez dried food to they some times eat flake food but from my exp they don't like it much if u can get white worms live they will love that but should only be feed to them once every three weeks or so as they are high in fat they all so like frozen marine rottefers if u would like more info I am happy to give all the info u will need cheers john
 
Upvote 0

Caffee

So long story short, I got a betta fish about a year and a half ago. I thought I was doing him a good deed by getting a 2.5 gallon tank compared to the cup he came in. I was not on top of the cleaning and my ignorance lead me to believe the green stuff in the tank was beneficial by mimicking their natural habitat. Had I known any better, I would have been on top of it. Looking back I realize how stupid that natural habitat mentality was. Anyways, overtime he got fin rot and by the time I researched and realized what it is, I began treatments. I got him a 6.5 gallon tank. I tried every possible solution from freshwater salt, to anti fungals, to fin rot medicine, to betta conditioner, etc. I tried numerous times and it got to the point where the medicine was burning his fins even more so I just quit on that. I realized it was too late to help my little guy and he slowly deteriorated overtime. But he still ate everyday, although during his last days he wasn't as active anymore. I decided it was time to euthanize him. I followed instructions and I guess I poured in the clove oil solution too quickly and saw him struggle and want to jump out the water. I took him out for a moment wondering if maybe it was too strong and returned him back to his tank for a few seconds but it was too late and I placed him back in the clove oil mixture. Eventually the deed was done and to add onto my guilt that last was scene of him trying to get out of the water was a little traumatizing. I don't understand how all of this could happen when I tried my very best. I don't know if I will ever recover from this emotionally. I don't know how people commit murder, when my little guy is haunting me. It makes me wonder if every single living being is based on just being lucky and unlucky. Are humans and all living beings just born lucky and unlucky? Like this little guy had to go through all of this because he was just unlucky to have me as a mom. And I am about to start a 10 gallon tank and a new 6 gallon tank with general freshwater fish which although I have ran many successful freshwater tanks before I am now second guessing myself. He was my first betta and I did not realize bettas were so sensitive. I didn't realize a small tank would need more cleaning. I didn't realize he needed complete fresh water. Now I understand why those guys in the bamboo vases live a long time although their space is small, its sparkly clean. I was trying to be better than someone who keeps them in little glass bowls, but now I think, that would've been a better life for him. I can't get the thought of his last moments out of my head and I wonder if it was the right decision to let him go but all of his fins were basically gone and his eyes looked like Popeye, although he was still eating. I always thought of him as a strong fighter because even with his illness he was still able to eat and maybe with his last moments he fought too because thats just who he was. I read that fish get excited if too much clove oil is added, but to me it looked like he basically just got choked to death by me, his amazing mother. Maybe it wasn't even his time and I should've slowly let him die naturally. Because if fish don't feel pain then what difference would it be if I euthanized him or if I let him die naturally. I'm embarrassed at how bad he looks, but I also want to show him to get confirmation that it was too late for him because anything I tried didn't work. Maybe I jumped the gun, but maybe not because he was getting worse day by day it was just very slow. Please be honest with me. I guess I came here to find out if anyone has ever gone through something traumatic like this, if I am taking too serious, if I should have not done it, or what. Maybe I need tougher skin if I want to own fish.
I cant say entirely wether i believe it was his time or not, but he does look pretty bad. I can tell the fin rot is at the stages where it was close to killing him. But, please know you did what you thought was best for the little guy. Even if it wasnt his time, bouncing back from that would be extremely difficult for the both of you. All we can do as pet parents is make the call we know in our hearts is right. Your post really spoke bounds about what it looks like to love an animal no matter their size, species, or intelligence. The amount of people who would of just left their fish to wither away without batting an eye or just flushing them while their still alive so they dont have to deal with it is remarkable. At the end of the day, dont hold onto the past. Whats important is that you understand now what went wrong and the true needs of these creatures, as well as what you can emotionally handle as an owner. Fish are tricky when you have a big heart, just be mindful of what you get and what you can do to give them the best fishy lives so you dont have to go through this again. I wish you the best of luck and please, again, move forward and be happy that the little guy isnt suffering.
 
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Fisch

Fish are not as easy as we think it is....I believe we all have to learn the hard way, though we have the best intentions.
Think of your Betta being in a good place right now, without pain and without suffering. Think of yourself having learned a ton to be a better fish mom in the future.
So at the end it is a win-win situation, and future generations of Bettas will thank your first little guy.
 
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sheila1998

I cant say entirely wether i believe it was his time or not, but he does look pretty bad. I can tell the fin rot is at the stages where it was close to killing him. But, please know you did what you thought was best for the little guy. Even if it wasnt his time, bouncing back from that would be extremely difficult for the both of you. All we can do as pet parents is make the call we know in our hearts is right. Your post really spoke bounds about what it looks like to love an animal no matter their size, species, or intelligence. The amount of people who would of just left their fish to wither away without batting an eye or just flushing them while their still alive so they dont have to deal with it is remarkable. At the end of the day, dont hold onto the past. Whats important is that you understand now what went wrong and the true needs of these creatures, as well as what you can emotionally handle as an owner. Fish are tricky when you have a big heart, just be mindful of what you get and what you can do to give them the best fishy lives so you dont have to go through this again. I wish you the best of luck and please, again, move forward and be happy that the little guy isnt suffering.
I guess I’ll never know if it was his time or not for sure but I know I gave it my best and in the end it was too hurtful to watch him get worse every week knowing the treatments were stressing him out when we did them I feel like he needs to have lost his life for a good reason not just being unlucky because of my lack of knowledge so the next betta I get will have the best life ever in honor of Wilson. There are so many should haves would haves could haves that I keep thinking about but lingering on that doesnt do any good. You’re right and I will use this as a learning experience. I guess its just apart of life and some creatures have to lose their lives so us flawed humans can learn. Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this and helping me feel better
 
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Caffee

I guess I’ll never know if it was his time or not for sure but I know I gave it my best and in the end it was too hurtful to watch him get worse every week knowing the treatments were stressing him out when we did them I feel like he needs to have lost his life for a good reason not just being unlucky because of my lack of knowledge so the next betta I get will have the best life ever in honor of Wilson. There are so many should haves would haves could haves that I keep thinking about but lingering on that doesnt do any good. You’re right and I will use this as a learning experience. I guess its just apart of life and some creatures have to lose their lives so us flawed humans can learn. Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this and helping me feel better
Glad i could help out even just a little bit, i had to put to sleep one of my pets recently and i went through the exact strain of thoughts as you are. Again, best of luck and i know you will do wonders for your next betta
 
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sheila1998

Fish are not as easy as we think it is....I believe we all have to learn the hard way, though we have the best intentions.
Think of your Betta being in a good place right now, without pain and without suffering. Think of yourself having learned a ton to be a better fish mom in the future.
So at the end it is a win-win situation, and future generations of Bettas will thank your first little guy.
You’re right I feel like its my duty to give a betta the best life ever so there was meaning to Wilson’s death. I hate that animals have to suffer at the hands of humans in so many cases but it has only made me that much more considerate about my responsibility as a pet owner. I guess its better to learn the hard way than not at all. Thank you for your message

Glad i could help out even just a little bit, i had to put to sleep one of my pets recently and i went through the exact strain of thoughts as you are. Again, best of luck and i know you will do wonders for your next betta
I wish the website had made it more clear about pouring in the mix slowly through drops rather than slowly straight out of the container. It was just so hard to watch him freak out at the end like that but I can’t blame myself for just following instructions. Im sorry for your loss as well. I will definitely make it up for the next one

your welcome to keep a betta healthy it is recommended to use an indian ammond leaf in there tank that will help with the ph and gh and kh in the water and I would highly recommend using a air driven sponge filter and a heater set at 26 digress and feed frozen brine shrimp they love frozen blood worms both of the foods can be given alive to but frozen is better they all so like freez dried food to they some times eat flake food but from my exp they don't like it much if u can get white worms live they will love that but should only be feed to them once every three weeks or so as they are high in fat they all so like frozen marine rottefers if u would like more info I am happy to give all the info u will need cheers john
Wow thank you so much I never even heard of that leaf before reading your post. Thats very interesting and wish I knew that before. Apparently its good for other fish too so I will add it in my other tank as well. I got the sponge filter, the leaves, freeze dried brine and blood worms. I will hatch brine shrimp too a few times a month for him. I have betta pellets as well. Can I do a few pellets and a freeze dry per day? For a 6 gallon how often and how much should I do water change for him?
 
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Wrench

I am so sorry for your losses that was very sweet of you to bury. Thank you for sharing that and I think thats exactly what I will do and will make me feel the best in honor of him!
One of the smaller balas has also passed away,just found him right now.....
 
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sheila1998

One of the smaller balas has also passed away,just found him right now.....
Aw I am so so so sorry :'( Did you get them all at the same time? Maybe it's their age time? I hope no other ones pass. It's crazy how these little guys can mean so much to us.
 
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Wrench

Aw I am so so so sorry :'( Did you get them all at the same time? Maybe it's their age time? I hope no other ones pass. It's crazy how these little guys can mean so much to us.
No, my big girl was 2 and these guys are only around 6 months or a year maybe....they should be living 10 -12 years and get well over a foot long.
I noticed ich on one of my tetras and I am seeming this the cause of their death.
 
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sheila1998

No, my big girl was 2 and these guys are only around 6 months or a year maybe....they should be living 10 -12 years and get well over a foot long.
I noticed ich on one of my tetras and I am seeming this the cause of their death.
Well that makes sense. I don't know too much about it, but I hope the treatments work!! Fish are so underrated to the general population when it comes to their maintenance. a lot of people don't realize the effort it takes to care for fish and aquariums and there is so much information to know
 
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Wrench

Well that makes sense. I don't know too much about it, but I hope the treatments work!! Fish are so underrated to the general population when it comes to their maintenance. a lot of people don't realize the effort it takes to care for fish and aquariums and there is so much information to know
I'm going to have to set up a q.t tank, I cant treat the last shark with the meds in the main.
It will kill my snails and plecos.....I think my rope fish is dead too....but he always looks dead when hes just sitting there so I dunno.
 
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Debbie1986

my avatar Hercules suffered months with tumor. He was near death when i put him to sleep using clove oil.

So when i did the same for 2 other 6 weeks ago, I was surprised at their fight. I felt bad, but they had maybe 1 week left. it was done to avoid needless suffering.

it's a hard thing to see and this hobby isn't easy.
 
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your right when we have to put our fish to sleep it isn't easy it only gets harder every time as fish keeppers we all want the best for our fish we don't want them to be in pain
 
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Frank the Fish guy

When I have to put a sick fish down, I learned that the humane way is to put them in water in the freezer. They slow down and go to sleep. Fish metabolism is connected to the temperature of their environment.

All of us who have learned how to keep thriving fish have started out unfortunately learning the hard way. It's really more about maintaining their environment. Once you learn to keep their environment healthy, the fish can thrive.

Bettas are is similar to Gouramis. I have a Gourami tank and they breed (bubble nest builders). They do well in soft acidic clean water. Although they have an adaption to be able to breath air which allows them to survive in low oxygen water, that does not mean that is where they thrive. The fish will thrive in a clean environment with low pollutants with plenty of oxygen in the water.
 
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Lucy

Please check the dates before replying.
This is from last summer.
 
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