How do you guys react to toxic fishkeepers

catglass

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I'm sure you know the type. Most fishkeepers I've met online and in person are genial, polite, and helpful people, but there's a few exceptionally opinionated people I've ran into. There's the one extreme of doing things like chucking goldfish in bowls, and there's the other extreme of calling anyone who disagrees with them fish abusers. For example, I went down a rabbit hole on a certain tumblr blog I won't name, and it was basically them posting callouts about people in the hobby. Was viciously against divided betta tanks, sororities, and basically doing anything they didn't like. (I'm kinda neutral on sororities since I know many advanced fishkeepers have successfully maintained them)

Basically the whole blog was just extremely self-righteous and preachy sounding, and it seemed that anyone who ever so slightly disagreed with them was automatically a target, no matter how experienced they were. They seemed to act like they were some sort of ultimate authority on fishkeeping while backing up absolutely nothing they were saying. Anyway, I just mean to ask, how do you guys deal with those people? I mean, of course there's basic standards, but when you get into the nitty gritty of people attacking others for keeping fish ever so slightly differently it just gets really annoying. Thoughts?
 
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mimo91088

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I just tell them to go away and go about my day. This hobby is where I find my zen. Ain't got time for those folks at all.
 

erinw347

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Yep. One side of the spectrum you have oscars in five gallon tanks, other side you have PETA. Luckily I have noticed very little people like that.
 

Utar

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I know what you mean, I have not experienced any people like that in the fish keeping hobby. But I have in other interests in life, music is probably the worst. I used to be a really good guitar player back in the day and I could sing really well. I was in and out of a few bands and music clubs and that is where I found the most egotistical idiots the world can produce. It is not like any of use where going somewhere at playing music, just hanging out an playing. But some of these idiots liked to get drunk and act like every woman in the place was their personal groupies. It was disgusting at times.
 

VeiltailKing

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Facts. Arm yourself with facts. You can’t argue facts with feelings without looking like a fool.
 

Cody

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I often end up ignoring a lot of those people since it’s not worth the headache of the debate. And in all honesty the person you described does not want to view things any other way. You always have people who are very opinionated whether it’s personal experiences or just regurgitating what they read somewhere else. I think in this hobby it’s hard because on one hand the goal is to recreate nature to promote a happy healthy life for our fish. But on the other end of that we have many fish that are farm raised and so far removed from the wild that it makes you question how close you need to emulate their native water. Or can this fish be kept in a school or solo? How large of a school is the minimum? Etc

Generally people on here pretty nice and not to belittling. I’ve surfed other places that aren’t the same.I think the best way to grow the hobby is to be welcoming and patient. I remember being a teen and posting on here and thinking I knew it all when I was mixing African cichlids with community fish in a 20gallon high lol. I can laugh about it now because I learned the hard way. And I got great advice along the way.

But again, ignore those people and follow those who you either agree with or at a minimum remain objective to their own opinions.
 

chromedome52

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VeiltailKing said:
Facts. Arm yourself with facts. You can’t argue facts with feelings without looking like a fool.
I've found that fools rarely recognize themselves, even with a mirror.
 

StarGirl

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Usually I go to sarcasm in these situations. It usually only makes me mad if they are jumping all over someone ( a new fish keeper) without knowing anything about the situation yet. Makes me so mad. Otherwise people being hoity toity make me laugh most times.
 

Flyfisha

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I see fish keeping as covering a big range of people.
I think there is room in the hobby for all kinds of people. I try and let people do their own thing. As long as it’s not risking the authorities changing the rules that I have to follow in regards to animal welfare let people have a bit of slack.
My local club tries to be inclusive.
 

mrsP

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When they ignore reality and replace it with they own stupidity, you can't win anything. I just ignore them, or block if nothing else helps.
 

jake37

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Hum. I wonder how many people have me blocked. Think 10? or 20 ?

mrsP said:
When they ignore reality and replace it with they own stupidity, you can't win anything. I just ignore them, or block if nothing else helps.
 

AquEric

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I left Facebook for that very reason so many people think they know everything about aquarium keeping and you know nothing what I like about this group is y'all don't put anyone down for being a noob you try to help and let them understand the hobby keep up the good work all my fishkeeping friends
 

yukondog

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I would not worry about it, there are to many good fish forums out there to waste time with them.
 

Crimson_687

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On the extreme of bad fishcare, I just try to get them to think about the well-being of their fish instead of their own pride. It’s just sad these people are so stubborn in their ways they simply don’t bother to do any proper research or even put in the effort to give the highest quality of life to their animals.

Then there’s the other extreme. Sometimes, their points have meaning and are respectable, but at the end of the day it draws negative energy to the hobby. It’s normal to make mistakes in this hobby, and yes, those mistakes do put the fish in danger. But what’s done is done and the focus should always be bettering our fishcare and helping others do the same. Getting angry at people for their mistakes won’t help the fish involved and it distracts from the wellbeing of the fish.
 

barbiespoodle

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Been there, done that.

Cody does make a good point in that sometimes it's not worth the debate. I'm going to put in a personal experience to show why I say this.

I was forced into the seafood department at work which includes a live lobster tank. When the old tanks chilling unit went, instead of replacing the chiller, the so called lobster experts decided to replace the entire tank. Not only was it a smaller tank, but then they threw in a bottle of bacteria in the tank and deemed it ready to go. I tried to say no, but another guy in the department, who has never had a fish tank, publicly basically called me a "insert word that would be deleted in this forum", said I could not know what I was talking about since I only had fresh water tanks and ridiculed me relentlessly, after all, what could I know after 50 years of fish keeping that the so called lobster experts didn't. Wasn't a pretty picture, he was relentless in his ridicule.

Do I need to say the tank became a lobster death trap. Broke my heart. I know they were there to be sold to be killed and eaten, but that doesn't mean I didn't want them to at least be healthy until then. Got to the point it sat empty for 2 months, the lose of the lobsters got too expensive.

Meanwhile in those empty two months, this may shock you ;), the tank cycled. I took readings, went to the department lead (also fish stupid), showed her the readings and said it was time to get lobsters and not to get as many. I even brought in my own personal tank care things to get the tank nice and clean. Guess what? Not a one died. Even have the last 4 who have been there over a month and are still healthy.

So yea, been through the fish stupid people who seem to think they know what they are talking about through media, or so called expert advice. And through my 50 years or so journey through the fish world, I'm sometimes that stupid person. It's a very complex thing, keeping fish. I sure know that I will never claim to know it all, but at least I'm willing to admit that.
 

tuggerlake26

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I ignore them all.

My general rule of thumb is do what makes you happy. Obviously be smart about it and do research. There are a lot of grey areas in fishkeeping, but some like to make it seem everything is black and white. I've especially seen this on a lot of reep keeping groups, so I try avoiding them.
 

Debbie1986

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tuggerlake26 said:
I ignore them all.

My general rule of thumb is do what makes you happy. Obviously be smart about it and do research. There are a lot of grey areas in fishkeeping, but some like to make it seem everything is black and white. I've especially seen this on a lot of reep keeping groups, so I try avoiding them.
This. If they try to make the hobby a job, time to move on.

But OP, you said it was a blog, that's literally an online diary & an Op ed pretty much. That's generally how they are run. It's the personality of the writer - you are reading their digital diary.

You cannot fight a belief system because it's an attack on personality. Just move on and don't worry about it.
 

Cody

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I think one common theme I everyone’s responses is that there is no absolutes in this hobby. Because even the science can fail out at times. We have opinions, as we should. And if someone views their opinion as an absolute statement, good for them. But don’t let them take you down in the process!
 

MomeWrath

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There are snobs in every hobby. In addition to fish, I also drive a Jeep and am learning the violin:
Jeepers are the worst snobs after reef keepers. If you don't have X brand of lift and Y brand of tires and chromoly sleeve axles and blah blah blah lockers well you are less than nothing and you drive a mall crawler. But there we are on the trails right next to them.
In violin, I play a $200 backstock instrument from a reputable maker that had a blemish in the finish that no one would see if they didn't know it was there. It's not a $200 fiddle, really. I took it to our local luthier, who also happens to take care of the instruments in the Smithsonian, who handed it back to me and in so many words told me it wasn't worth his time to even look at it. Yet here I am two years later progressing nicely and being complimented by my teacher on the fine tone and projection of my instrument.

Point is people can just be mean because it makes them feel better about themselves to make you feel like less than they are. Narcissism is the purest form of crazy.

Also Tumblr, is a place that people only seem to go to troll others. Ick. Not a place I would ever go for actual information.
 

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