Here's a quicly done diagram of a external canister heater design. Forgive my poor skills with Paint. Water enters through a hose from the tank at the top & exits at the bottom via a hose connected to a canister filter or pump.
Well the sound might not be a bad thing, it could be nice with a some relaxing music listening to the bubbles but i know what my wife would say, i can imagine it now, put your dressing gown on your scaring the fish, oh ye do you fancy it dear, don't be disgusting the fish are watching. or maybe you could have a curtain to give you privacy oh a plan emerges a curtain on a remote control that would work, you could create a stimulus response wife like Pavlov and his dogs you know how he rang a bell and his dogs salivated at feeding time. Now you just get the remote out and close the curtain its brilliant oh three night in row, keep up the good work.
If you read the whole thread you would see the OP isn't bothered by those noises & that even if they were, the issue has been addressed. Very little risk of a 5gal breaking on the headboard anyway. It's surrounded on the sides & top by wood. You would really have to have the bed rocking... to risk any damage to the tank. It takes a surprising amount of force to break the glass in those little tanks. You should try to break a piece of glass with the same thickness & same dimensions. It's alot harder than you think.
I would say to lower the noise, make it a planted aquarium. I use java moss on a piece of driftwood and have no air pump in here now. It's ideal to be honest. I don't hear any noise from my tank at all, except the click of the heater as it turns on, or my fish deciding they want to jump around.