Gouramis Fighting Relentlessly...

So I had a pearl gourami and an all blue gourami in my tank two days ago, they got along. I wanted to add more and everywhere said they are "peaceful" towards each other and are great kept in numbers of 5 or 6 or many more depending on the size of you tank. So, yesterday I bought 3 more gourami's for my 29 gallon planted tank. Two of them were the three-spot gourami's and one of them is about fully and the other three-spot is still kind of a little guy. The 3rd gourami I bought was this awesome looking orange and red gourami. They are fighting relentlessly. Its like a war zone when I feed my pleco a pleco wafer. They all crowd around the pleco whos trying to enjoy its algae wafer and they fight and nip at each others fins and chase each other away relentlessly all while trying to get nibbles at the pleco wafer. Not to mention!, they JUST ATE FOOD 5 MINUTES AGO BEFORE I FED MY PLECO THE WAFER. And they were fed plenty of flakes, they shouldn't still be trying to eat. So now i'm already seeing damage to the gouramis fins and these guys are so aggressive that I think if this keeps up one of them will kill each other. I can add photos too of these fish and maybe a video of them fighting. Long story short, I want some normal fish that aren't trying to kill each other. Its one thing after the other with this hobby. The LFS and everyone on these forums tells me these guys will be just fine together and here they are trying to kill each other.

 

So I had a pearl gourami and an all blue gourami in my tank two days ago, they got along. I wanted to add more and everywhere said they are "peaceful" towards each other and are great kept in numbers of 5 or 6 or many more depending on the size of you tank. So, yesterday I bought 3 more gourami's for my 29 gallon planted tank. Two of them were the three-spot gourami's and one of them is about fully and the other three-spot is still kind of a little guy. The 3rd gourami I bought was this awesome looking orange and red gourami. They are fighting relentlessly. Its like a war zone when I feed my pleco a pleco wafer. They all crowd around the pleco whos trying to enjoy its algae wafer and they fight and nip at each others fins and chase each other away relentlessly all while trying to get nibbles at the pleco wafer. Not to mention!, they JUST ATE FOOD 5 MINUTES AGO BEFORE I FED MY PLECO THE WAFER. And they were fed plenty of flakes, they shouldn't still be trying to eat. So now i'm already seeing damage to the gouramis fins and these guys are so aggressive that I think if this keeps up one of them will kill each other. I can add photos too of these fish and maybe a video of them fighting. Long story short, I want some normal fish that aren't trying to kill each other. Its one thing after the other with this hobby. The LFS and everyone on these forums tells me these guys will be just fine together and here they are trying to kill each other.

In my opinion and experience, having multiple gourami is risky with a few exceptions.

What type of gourami did you add? And male or female?

 

Multiple male gouramies are tricky to keep together. Some types are worse than others and even within 1 species some individuals are docile and others are aggressive. I currently have 1 male dwarf blue, 2 male gold's and 1 male thicked lip together with various females and they get on OK but I tried adding a second dwarf blue and it was dead within days. I originally had two thick lipped but one bullied the other until it his in a corner and wouldn't even come out to feed so I rehomed him. My two gold's fight from time to time but don't seem to hurt each other and most the time they get along.
When I feed them I always feed at different places in the tank so they don't have to fight for food.

 

In my opinion and experience, having multiple gourami is risky with a few exceptions.

What type of gourami did you add? And male or female?

Two of the gourami's I added were three-spot gourami's. One of the three-spot is a big one and the other is pretty small one. One of the other gourami's I added was a red and orange gourami idk the name and I can't find any that look like it so it must be one of those exotic oddball gouramis. The ones that were in the tank before were a blue dwarf gourami and a pearl gourami. I have no idea which one are female/male. They could all be male for all I know.

Multiple male gouramies are tricky to keep together. Some types are worse than others and even within 1 species some individuals are docile and others are aggressive. I currently have 1 male dwarf blue, 2 male gold's and 1 male thicked lip together with various females and they get on OK but I tried adding a second dwarf blue and it was dead within days. I originally had two thick lipped but one bullied the other until it his in a corner and wouldn't even come out to feed so I rehomed him. My two gold's fight from time to time but don't seem to hurt each other and most the time they get along.
When I feed them I always feed at different places in the tank so they don't have to fight for food.

I have a feeling the fighting will continue. How do I tell which ones are male and which ones are female? They didn't tell me the gender at the lfs. Also when should I decide this isn't going to work and try to return one of them?

 

I have a feeling the fighting will continue. How do I tell which ones are male and which ones are female? They didn't tell me the gender at the lfs. Also when should I decide this isn't going to work and try to return one of them?

With most gouramies males have a longer pointed rear end of the dorsal fin whilst females have a shorter and more rounded one.

Two of the gourami's I added were three-spot gourami's. One of the three-spot is a big one and the other is pretty small one. One of the other gourami's I added was a red and orange gourami idk the name and I can't find any that look like it so it must be one of those exotic oddball gouramis. The ones that were in the tank before were a blue dwarf gourami and a pearl gourami. I have no idea which one are female/male. They could all be male for all I know.

Blue dwarf gouramies are definitely aggressive with other similar sized gouramies

 

Blue dwarf gouramies are definitely aggressive with other similar sized gouramies

That's the one that's getting attacked by the pearl gourami and the bigger three-spot gourami.

 

I don't know where you've been reading but a 5 min google search gives me very clear answers that mixing gourami should be done with caution and groups that are not carefully designed will end in fighting. Advice on this forum is no different from that.

In terms of commonly-kept-gourami aggression levels (from most to least) it goes: Dwarf/Three-spot (blue/gold/opaline) -> Pearl -> Thick-Lipped -> Sparkling -> Honey.
But this just refers to species in general. Individual personalities can vary a lot so some fish may be higher or lower on that list than their species indicates (particularly pearls can sometimes be surprisingly vicious if you're out of luck).
Beyond that, keeping multiple males with 1 or 2 females is a bad idea, and keeping fish with a large size difference is bad idea. If you must mix several gourami species, pick out individuals carefully and rehome any that prove too violent/intolerant, pick individuals with similar sizes (or where the more peaceful ones will stay larger) and make it either a sorority or make sure that females outnumber males 2:1, or get a large group (8+) in a large tank (50G+).

 

Not wanna be rude but you've put multiple soccerhooligans (from different clubs) in a phone booth and are surprised they're fighting?

Even 1 of these shouldn't be kept in a 29G