Goodbye Fishlore!

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alink

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You have helped me through a lot of troubles I have had, and I have learned so much here. Well, at least I thought I did. It seems lately everything I post trying to help others, is corrected and said I was wrong. I do not have a problem with this, however I have a problem with this.. a lot of the things I have learned about fish and fish keeping, has come from other members in addition to internet sources that I thought were reliable and accurate. It appears that not only are the websites wrong, but the people I learned from, were wrong as well, even though when they say it, everyone agrees, yet when I say it, I am almost instantly corrected. So it appears I do not know as much as I thought. Therefore, I will be no help to anyone here so I am leaving. I will do my own research and learn on my own when needed.

Thanks to everyone who has helped me, and corrected the wrong information I have learned. Its been fun, exciting, frustrating and relaxing 6 months here. But my time is up here before I end up doing something I regret.
 

BornThisWayBettas

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Aw, good bye!!!! I'm so sad you're leaving though!!! :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( You were such a good friend, thank you for all your advice, and you were very helpful to me, especially about the filters! Good bye to one of my best friends on here!!! Good bye kisses and hugs from me straight to you! :-* <3 <3 <3 You will be missed very, very, very much!

Farewell, dearest alink........
 
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alink

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Its not the person correcting me that irritates me. Its that I think I'm giving correct advice because I have either personal experience with the topic, done research on it, or learned from other members here. So if almost everything I have learned here is wrong, I am of no use here helping others. I will just make it worse for the people asking for help by giving false information, which makes it harder on others to correct me. I will be a lurker if anything, not a poster.

Thanks BornThisWayBettas !
 

Dom90

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Yea I hope you dont leave, who's going to do those mind-boggling PAR rating calculations for us now??
 

Bijou88

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I personally find the relating of personal experiences very helpful all in its own, just knowing someone else had a similar experience and what worked for them I think is very useful. I hope you don't leave, I think you've been very helpful on here. If you must though, my best to you.

 

LiterallyHydro

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Its not the person correcting me that irritates me. Its that I think I'm giving correct advice because I have either personal experience with the topic, done research on it, or learned from other members here. So if almost everything I have learned here is wrong, I am of no use here helping others. I will just make it worse for the people asking for help by giving false information, which makes it harder on others to correct me. I will be a lurker if anything, not a poster.

Thanks @BornThisWayBettas !

I don't look at Fishlore as a forum where we all have to have the same opinion for us to be "correct". While there are some things that are completely objective and shouldn't be changed, a lot of things are up for debate. There isn't anything wrong with providing an alternative opinion if other so happen to disagree.

Also, asking questions helps a lot of lurkers online because they can possibly get their answers without even needing to come on here making a thread.

I hope you choose to not go, you are a pretty cool guy and it's nice having you around. Regardless, best of luck ;D
 

Tonia

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I hope that you will decide to stay, alink. I know that sometimes there are people who will not agree with me, with you, or with someone else, but that is part of where discussion comes from. I have kept fish almost continually since I was about 10 (*cough* more than 30 years) and I still find that I am constantly learning new things, and now exploring new fish to keep. Sometimes the things we were told or believed before have since been proven wrong by science or other experiences that someone else has had. The best advice I could offer is to read what other people/sources say and translate it with your own experience. What works for you may not work for others, but that doesn't mean that you are wrong any more than they are.

This may not make much sense, but I hope you will decide to stay.
 

BornThisWayBettas

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I agree, sometimes, it's a matter of opinion rather than fact, such as the betta tankmates debate. I've been told so, so many times how it's bad to keep bettas in community tanks, but I find that to be opinion rather than fact in most cases. And I've been corrected before on this forum, and I feel embarrassed, but I take it as a learning opportunity rather than an insult to my knowledge, which is saying a lot, because (a little secret of mine) IRL, I hate to be corrected, it's one of my biggest pet peeves. But you know, I've learned to just shrug it off when I find the correction to be true and move on, having learned a new lesson. But if it's opinion that we're debating, well, watch out, because most of the time, I'll stand my ground lol!

Anyways, I'll respect your choice in any case, whatever you choose to do. I'll be sad if you go, but I'll trust that you made the right decision.
 

LiterallyHydro

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Also, remember that even if everyone on the forums disagree with you on a matter, if it works for you, then you're doing something right.

I'm not suggesting you start to ignore everything we suggest, because we're giving opinions based on our experiences and the stories we hear from other people's opinions; But if you are successful with something, you're doing something right.. Even if it happens to be in a different method from what is standard.

Some people swear by the weekly water change guideline and say it should be law. I think it depends on many things. Some tanks could probably do monthly water changes, and other tanks may need it 2-3x a week (Take cichlid tanks for example).
 

Et tu

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The problem with conversing in written text, instead of talking face to face is you can't hear voice inflections, or see facial clues. This is a always changing, forever developing hobby/science/ living art... stick around.
 

LiterallyHydro

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The problem with conversing in written text, instead of talking face to face is you can't hear voice inflections, or see facial clues. This is a always changing, forever developing hobby/science/ living art... stick around.
This is very true. Because all we see is text, I have a tendency to sometimes misinterpret what other people say as rather snarky or arrogant, when in reality they are often just stating their opinions.
 
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alink

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The problem with conversing in written text, instead of talking face to face is you can't hear voice inflections, or see facial clues. This is a always changing, forever developing hobby/science/ living art... stick around.
This is very true. Because all we see is text, I have a tendency to sometimes misinterpret what other people say as rather snarky or arrogant, when in reality they are often just stating their opinions.
I understand what you guys are saying, but thats not what I am frustrated with. I dont care if I'm corrected because I'm wrong. Im frustrated because it happens a lot to me, and its usually on a topic that I have learned about from other members posting answers to similar questions. So I learn what they say in that thread, believe it to be true because nobody corrected them, then I give the same advice, and I'm wrong. So now I dont know what I can believe or whats fact/fiction/misinformation. So I dont have confidence in my knowledge to give advice to anyone now. So I think I'm doing everyone a favor here.

Just to emphasize.. there is not a single person on this forum that I am upset with at all. I like to learn a lot, and I need to learn how to learn about the fish keeping hobby so I can determine if something is accurate or not. Until that happens, I wont be posting unless I have a serious problem in my own tank.
 
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