Goathead Vine: The Most Evil Plant That Has Ever Existed

This thing is pure evil. If you bike a lot, you may be familiar with the Goathead plant, otherwise known as the Puncturevine. Great name, actually, because those pretty little vines with attractive flowers produce numerous seedheads in the summer. Seedheads that look like medieval maces, a hard almost inpenetrable shell with a humongous spine that protrudes straight upwards. Perfectly created so that the thorn almost always faces upwards.

Well a few months ago I got one of these in my bicycle tire, and that put my good old KawasakI out of commission. Just fixed it a week ago, but I had no idea where that thorn came from. So I biked on. Now fast forward to a few days ago. I was doing my usual morning biking (riding around the city with zero idea where I was going), when I realize that both front and back tires are peppered with these things. Well.

Yesterday I was riding my bike along with my friend, who was walking. As we passed by a sidewalk I ride on all the time, he looked at his sandals. Zillions of little thorns stuck in them. I look at my tires. Zillions of little thorns stuck in them. Then I realize I've been biking over a literal pincushion and I never even noticed. Stupid goatheads, though puncturevine is probably the better name.

So now both of my bike tires are flat out of air. I'm thinking of using the brand Slime to seal them again, but with at least 10 holes in each tire, I'm not exactly sure. And those tubes didn't even last a week. Does anyone here have experience with this brand of tire sealant? I'm almost paranoid now.

 

Well, that made me laugh a bit. Sorry for your misfortune.

 

These things are EVIL! Twenty spikes in my tires and I keep finding more!

 

That plant isn't the most evil plant, not by a long shot. Kudzu is. That can grow several feet in ONE DAY! We are covered in the stuff here south of the Mason Dixon line. Actually, I take that back, bamboo is the most evil plant. It spreads like crazy and is almost impossible to dig up because rhizomes overlap and intertwine. Mythbusters proved it can grow up through a human body. One stalk grew up under a 20lb stone in my backyard and pushed up the stone with it. Fighting that stuff makes me understand why the military used Agent Orange in Vietnam!

But as to your problem, um, I don't know. It can't hurt.

-Lisa

 

Yeah you want to get back at a neighbor plant some bamboo at the back of their property and wait.

 

Aaaaah, forget Slime. I'm just gonna go buy two more tubes. That's three new bike tubes this week. -_-