Girlfriend Wants To Quit What Do I Do

Discussion in 'Freshwater Beginners' started by Lion401, Jul 11, 2017.


Do i allow her to quit or do I tell her to stay?

Poll closed Jul 13, 2017.
  1. Yes

    5 vote(s)
  2. No

    4 vote(s)
  1. Lion401New MemberMember

    My girlfriend is currently wanting to stop the fish keeping hobby.

    Her tank is a 10 gallon for a little under a year and several fish have died through out the time
    Most were from unknown causes even though the water parameters were fine.
    she only has a molly and a platy left
    she was very attached to them because she loves all animals but now feels guilty and cannot even see the tank and wants me to take it.

    What do i say or do??
  2. James17

    James17Well Known MemberMember

    Take the tank and keep it, maybe she will change her mind.
    Mollies and Platys shouldn't be in a ten gallon tank IMO.
  3. Herkimur

    HerkimurWell Known MemberMember

    Get rid of the fish.
    Then go to the local animal rescue/shelter and rescue a cat/kitten.

    The fact that she cares about animals will really make you shine and get you tons of karma points, seeing that you share her feelings about animals and you rescued something from death.
    Do not get a dog. They need too much attention and require too much care (daily walks).

  4. BeanFish

    BeanFishWell Known MemberMember

    Do research on fishlore and other sites and suggest the idea of starting again, this time following the "book". A 10 gal planted tank filled with Espei rasboras or Celestial Pearl danios would be a good idea and maybe you two can have fun building it.
    If you dont give a peanut about keeping fish then let her quit, after all she said she wanted to quit and it would be pretty weird to force someone to keep fish lol.

    Last time I checked this was a fish forum so I find this relationship stuff out of place, but to be honest I find this thread amusing, maybe I just have too much free time lol.
  5. Piaelliott

    PiaelliottWell Known MemberMember

    Never even use the word 'allow' in regards to your gf, you are not a parent :)

    Sorry to hear about the deaths, probably caused by overcrowding. A Molly needs at least 29 gal.
    Maybe fish that actually fit into a 10 gal would be better

    Stocking options for 10 gallons

  6. DHIWZ

    DHIWZValued MemberMember

    You support her in doing what she wants because that's what a good boyfriend does. She's clearly upset from her previous failures and needs a break from the hobby.

    Take her tank if she really doesn't want it, and please rehome that Molly.

    If her staying in the fishkeeping hobby is important to you, buy her a bigger, more noob friendly tank and scape it with her from the ground up. As @BeanFish said this time do your research, be patient, stock lightly, and GO BY THE BOOK. Make it beautiful--driftwood, plants, the works. Let her rediscover her love for the hobby again.
  7. saket

    saketValued MemberMember

    i think that the best option will be to switch to a planted betta tank that will very cute and betta is hardy so no dying and it is a very beautifull fish. good luck
  8. scarface

    scarfaceFishlore VIPMember

    Maybe she's just not into it. Nothing wrong with that. It's not for everyone.
  9. smee82Fishlore VIPMember

    Unless she's 12 you should just let her make her own decision.
  10. JesseMoreira06

    JesseMoreira06Well Known MemberMember

    which would make him 12 or atleast close to that which doesn't give him the right to make decision for her, regardless of age.

    For the OP my opinion is sit down with her and ask her how she really feels , and which ever route she decides, go along with it and support it.
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2017
  11. OP

    Lion401New MemberMember

    Were both 18 and we both enjoy the hobby alike but I might just keep the tank or sell it and save the Money aside for when/if she wants to get back in but your right it she should be the one to get back in it.
  12. BettaPonic

    BettaPonicWell Known MemberMember

    You could get better ten gallon fish? If you really like Livebearers Least Killifish are very hardy. Plants are also great.
  13. DoubleDutch

    DoubleDutchFishlore LegendMember

    Sell it and get a bigger one when she want to reenter the hobby. More choices, more stabil water, etc etc...
  14. leftswerve

    leftswerveWell Known MemberMember

    Really? Worst advice ever.

    Get rid of the fish yes, but buying someone else a pet is a big no no
  15. Kyleena696

    Kyleena696Valued MemberMember

    Owning cats that are just barely a year old, I disagree with your statement. Cats are also lots of work and require just as much care and attention as dogs or fishes. They need to be played with daily (preferably twice) and are not the "easy pet" they are made out to be. All animals deserve attention and care and if you think walking a dog daily is too much work, maybe you should rethink having pets at all.
  16. VioletSS

    VioletSSValued MemberMember


    Pets should rarely if *ever* be gifted to someone.
    I have a 19 year old cat.
    The amount of yowling, barfing, urinating and hair have nearly driven me crazy in the last 7 years. We can't get new furniture. We can't have rugs. We can't leave anything of value on a tabletop. We can't leave the doors open. The vet bills are crazy expensive. At times my love has been tested.

    DO NOT foist this upon another person!
  17. Kyleena696

    Kyleena696Valued MemberMember

    In regards to the OP's issue, I think it should be her decision.

    However, I do love this hobby and I would suggest rehoming the platy and molly and maybe turning the 10G into a betta tank? (Biased as I'm saving for a 10G to do just that). If that's not your thing then maybe a school of small fish and some snails or shrimp?
  18. James17

    James17Well Known MemberMember

    Take this advice from a man that has been married over thirty years.
    You can't allow or not allow anything, especially if your not married and we won't even go there if you are married.
    If she does not want an animal you either take them and put them in the appropriate tank or give them away. This is only a ten gallon tank, very inexpensive to replace if she decides too.
    Do not gift an animal adopting animals for little expense does not mean an animal is cheap, I adopted a dog at nine months old, she died at 9.5 years and cost me over 9,000 dollars.
    My son did the same with a cat, cost him 35 dollars and in the last year has 1,600 dollars into him so far.
    Plus she might not even want another animal.
    Think Hard what you do next, it may end a relationship. Good Luck young man.
  19. Xsolidice

    XsolidiceNew MemberMember

    Find a LFS. Not petco, not petsmart, but an actual fish store. Tell em you have some fish you need to get rid of. No charge because you care for the well being of the fish. Have them show you how to bag em up, offload em, disassemble the tank, happy wife, happy life... Or give em away on letgo, or craigslist. Or be a man and take care of em yourself in a tank bigger than 10G. She'll be so impressed with your ability to keep her fish happy, you'll be making baby humans in no time! ;-)
  20. Herkimur

    HerkimurWell Known MemberMember

    I live in the country. My cat doesn't 'play', he hunts, and when he's done hunting he takes a long nap at a place where nobody can find him.
    He also poops and pees outside because I've never owned a litter box.
    When he was younger he was sometimes gone for 3 weeks.

    Also, I have rescued 2 English Mastiffs, a Terrier, a Labrador, 2 Dachshunds and a Pitbull from Shelters and Designated Rescues.
    I also donate every year to the Zoo.

    The dogs get daily run arounds in the local forest/mountains/around lakes and parks...or just simply hang around the farm.

    I never said walking a dog daily is too much work for ME, but life experience has taught me plenty about the irrisponsible behavior of teenagers....

    I suggested a cat because cats are smarter than people and actually (when given the chance) leave their environment in search for a better life.

    My true thoughts on young people living in an uncertain and unstable environment/future and lacking the time to commit to the long-term care of a pet, is to: -----> NOT HAVE ANY PETS AT ALL!

    I just didn't want to be this rude

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