Forum suggestion in the gender options in the account details

[BettaFishObsessed]

NOTE: also vote the “yes” for the possibility of having a space to write it yourself. I didn’t add that and cant edit obviously

There is an option in the account details to select and/or let people see your gender. However they only have male and female. No other genders. I believe that this is unfair. There should also be the options of nonbinary, bigender, agender, gender fluid, and other at least (preferably more). A good option would be to have a space to fill in your own gender identity instead of a drop down. There are many people that identify as something other than male or female, including but not limited to, nonbinary, bigender, agender, pangender, gender neutral, gender fluid, all of the genders, none of them, or something entirely different. Having only male and female is unfair to people who don’t identify as either of them but still want to enter their gender. There are more genders than male and female so it makes no sense to me that they don’t have any other genders. If they only had, say, agender and nonbinary as options (just an example), then people would surely speak up and say something such as “hey, male/female/bigender/other people exist too!” Why should it be any different if they only have male or female? Having only male and female as an option also supports the idea that there are only two genders. This is not true and never has been true. Not identifying as male or female has been proven to not be a mental illness. It is also not a “trend”. It is a real identity that has existed for centuries and is only getting recognition now. All the genders deserve and need acknowledgment, even in the smallest places. There could be many people on this website who aren’t male or female and are discriminated against and feel this website’s gender options are only adding to it. This could cause them to not use the website. They also may not recommend the website. If they did this it would harm the website and its popularity in the long run. The world is changing for the better to be more accepting and this website may suffer if it doesn’t follow. If they add at least five more options to the male and female options- those being nonbinary, bigender, agender, gender fluid, and other- then it will benefit the website and the people on it. They should at the very least add other. Maybe even add a space where you can fill in your own identity. It will keep the website from being abandoned by the newer generations, it will help people feel more accepted, and it is a welcoming thing to do.

TL;DR: There is only male and female in the gender options. They should also have nonbinary, bigender, agender, gender fluid, and other at least, or have a space for you to write your own identity. Having these will help people who identify as these feel more accepted and it will benefit the website by making those people feel accepted. It isn’t a difficult thing to add and it is unfair for the people who want to show their gender but don’t identify as male or female. They should at the very least add other or a place for you to write it yourself.

 

[redmare]

There should at LEAST be an other. It would be really cool if you would be able to just write your own gender identity, rather than pick from a drop-down option! It also might be cool to have our pronouns appear under our names when we post, with location and tank details and such.

 

[mimo91088]

I'm on board with just adding "other" or fill-in-the-blank spot. Seems like the easiest option rather than listing every possibility. Proper terminology is constantly evolving it seems like. LGBT now has like 10 letters now for example. It's nearly impossible to keep up. I personally have no idea what the "correct" acronym is now. I'm bisexual and even I can't be bothered to learn the new letters lol.

 

[BettaFishObsessed]

There should at LEAST be an other. It would be really cool if you would be able to just write your own gender identity, rather than pick from a drop-down option! It also might be cool to have our pronouns appear under our names when we post, with location and tank details and such.

That is a great idea! I agree very much may I add that to my original post since that would be one of the best options?

 

[Demonskid]

They keep coming up with new terms, adding on to the ever growing list, I don't even know what I'd be considered anymore. An 'Other' option would be perfect.

 

[AcornTheBetta]

Other would be a great option for those who do not identify as male or female.

 

[Fishproblem]

I'm on board with just adding "other" or fill-in-the-blank spot. Seems like the easiest option rather than listing every possibility. Proper terminology is constantly evolving it seems like. LGBT now has like 10 letters now for example. It's nearly impossible to keep up. I personally have no idea what the "correct" acronym is now. I'm bisexual and even I can't be bothered to learn the new letters lol.

LGBT doesn't have ten letters now - there's only one more that's widely accepted as being under the umbrella, and it's Q for queer. Any others are contested by the people who have those identities (as with I, which has been frequently used to include people who are intersex - however many intersex people do not consider themselves as a part of the the queer or LGBT community) or are just stupid, like the A for ally that popped up a lot a few years ago. It's not that complicated, and saying that "it has ten letters now" feels like you're making inclusion sound absurdist.

That said, I agree that a fill in the blank option feels like a great choice if it's respected, but could lead to disrespectful "joke" identities as well.

 

[BettaFishObsessed]

LGBT doesn't have ten letters now - there's only one more that's widely accepted as being under the umbrella, and it's Q for queer. Any others are contested by the people who have those identities (as with I, which has been frequently used to include people who are intersex - however many intersex people do not consider themselves as a part of the the queer or LGBT community) or are just stupid, like the A for ally that popped up a lot a few years ago. It's not that complicated, and saying that "it has ten letters now" feels like you're making inclusion sound absurdist.

That said, I agree that a fill in the blank option feels like a great choice if it's respected, but could lead to disrespectful "joke" identities as well.

It could create that problem, however we can deal with that problem when it arises. The LGBTQ+ community needs to be normalized, we exist and I will fight to make small things like this normalized.

I also agree with what you said about the other person’s comment. They probably didn’t mean it that way but things like these need to be pointed out and it did sound like they were against all the labels people have

 

[MomeWrath]

Gender is immaterial to the subject matter. It's not a dating site. Just take the label off completely.

 

[mimo91088]

LGBT doesn't have ten letters now - there's only one more that's widely accepted as being under the umbrella, and it's Q for queer. Any others are contested by the people who have those identities (as with I, which has been frequently used to include people who are intersex - however many intersex people do not consider themselves as a part of the the queer or LGBT community) or are just stupid, like the A for ally that popped up a lot a few years ago. It's not that complicated, and saying that "it has ten letters now" feels like you're making inclusion sound absurdist.

That said, I agree that a fill in the blank option feels like a great choice if it's respected, but could lead to disrespectful "joke" identities as well.

I don't mean to insult anyone, and I likely won't say much after this post as I don't want to get into an argument. But I've personally seen many more variations than just the ones you mentioned. At the end of the day who decides the definitive "correct" version?

Gender is immaterial to the subject matter. It's not a dating site. Just take the label off completely.

Solid option as well.

 

[Fishproblem]

It could create that problem, however we can deal with that problem when it arises. The LGBTQ+ community needs to be normalized, we exist and I will fight to make small things like this normalized.

For sure! From my perspective as a webmaster on other sites though, I would personally prefer to create a gender ID drop down list to choose from for users, with a reviewable option to suggest an addition if your identity isn't listed. It's a bit more up front effort on behalf of the site owner, but long-term it prevents potential nonsense while still respecting the diversity of site members and the importance of inclusion and representation. And if there is anything I've learned, it's that if there is potential for nonsense, it will find you.

 

[BettaFishObsessed]

Gender is immaterial to the subject matter. It's not a dating site. Just take the label off completely.

That is an option. I am 100% for that too, they probably should get rid of it. but if they are going to have gender options, they need to include everyone. I do think gender is something that matters here though since some people care strongly about their pronouns.

For sure! From my perspective as a webmaster on other sites though, I would personally prefer to create a gender ID drop down list to choose from for users, with a reviewable option to suggest an addition if your identity isn't listed. It's a bit more up front effort on behalf of the site owner, but long-term it prevents potential nonsense while still respecting the diversity of site members and the importance of inclusion and representation. And if there is anything I've learned, it's that if there is potential for nonsense, it will find you.

Yeah, I know that the problems and nonsense would come up. I agree with that suggestion, that would be ideal however I doubt the people who run the site would want and look to do that. I tried to make my suggestions the simplest to make it easiest to make this change happen.

 

[veggieshark]

Gender is immaterial to the subject matter. It's not a dating site. Just take the label off completely.

Agree. Most often this info is collected for marketing purposes.

 

[BettaFishObsessed]

Agree. Most often this info is collected for marketing purposes.

They should still either include everyone or include no one.

 

[veggieshark]

They should still either include everyone or include no one.

Agreed, of course. I am more inclined to vote for removing it altogether, based on gender being irrelevant to the subject matter.

 

[BettaFishObsessed]

Agreed, of course. I am more inclined to vote for removing it altogether, based on gender being irrelevant to the subject matter.

Fair, although some people do care about their pronouns, although using pronouns could be avoided all together. I agree with you

 

[mimo91088]

Fair, although some people do care about their pronouns, although using pronouns could be avoided all together. I agree with you

We're a friendly and inclusive bunch. If those people have a preference they can just make it known. I never check anyone's profile for gender before responding. I'm sure I've called more than one lady "bro" by mistake lol.

 

[Fisch]

That is an option. I am 100% for that too, they probably should get rid of it. but if they are going to have gender options, they need to include everyone. I do think gender is something that matters here though since some people care strongly about their pronouns.


Yeah, I know that the problems and nonsense would come up. I agree with that suggestion, that would be ideal however I doubt the people who run the site would want and look to do that. I tried to make my suggestions the simplest to make it easiest to make this change happen.

Gender as well as race as political affiliation should stay out of this forum as it is of no importance. The glue that holds this forum together is the interest in our hobby...fish.

 

[BettaFishObsessed]

We're a friendly and inclusive bunch. If those people have a preference they can just make it known. I never check anyone's profile for gender before responding. I'm sure I've called more than one lady "bro" by mistake lol.

Yes, I understand that. This forum is very inclusive. However people with there being only male and female promotes the idea that there are only two genders. If they are so determined to include gender options then they should include everyone. They shouldnt be picking and choosing.

Gender as well as race as political affiliation should stay out of this forum as it is of no importance. The glue that holds this forum together is the interest in our hobby...fish.

I understand and agree. I am 100% for getting rid of the gender option altogether. But if they are going to have gender options they arent going to choose who they want to include.

 

[Coradee]

There is always the option to leave it blank.... just sayin’

 

[mimo91088]

Yes, I understand that. This forum is very inclusive. However people with there being only male and female promotes the idea that there are only two genders. If they are so determined to include gender options then they should include everyone. They shouldnt be picking and choosing.

I meant that in response to your concerns over pronouns if the gender section just went away. If it's something someone is concerned with, just tell us what you wanna be called and we'll all use that pronoun.

 

[Jayce0]

It definitely would be nice, if anything there should be a "nonbinary" (it's an umbrella term, no need to add the other ones) and possibly a "prefer to not answer" option (I know it seems pretty unnecessary, but some transgender people like this option if they feel uncomfortable being "out" even on the internet and want to at least have a possibility to not be misgendered).

But to be more practical, all we really need is pronoun options. Somebody could be nonbinary but want only masculine pronouns to be used for example. It would be great to have it pop up under your name in that little section there when you comment/reply/post. Easy to see, easy to use.

 

[Archangel8]

I don't know why we need to write our gender in the first place. It doesn't change our main topic of all things aquatic! Just my opinion

 

[Jayce0]

LGBT doesn't have ten letters now - there's only one more that's widely accepted as being under the umbrella, and it's Q for queer. Any others are contested by the people who have those identities (as with I, which has been frequently used to include people who are intersex - however many intersex people do not consider themselves as a part of the the queer or LGBT community) or are just stupid, like the A for ally that popped up a lot a few years ago. It's not that complicated, and saying that "it has ten letters now" feels like you're making inclusion sound absurdist.

That said, I agree that a fill in the blank option feels like a great choice if it's respected, but could lead to disrespectful "joke" identities as well.

Actually, many, many intersex people do in fact consider themselves to be queer. The idea that they or at least most of them don't was simply made up by exclusivists as a false statistic to you know, exclude intersex people and deny them awareness. Take a look at intersex advocation groups for example, I've yet to come across one that didnt push for inclusion- and you can see intersex pride at parades. Either way, non-intersex people simply arent in the right place to speak for them (as a general rule, not implying that you are promoting any of this). I do agree that while allies are very much appreciated, they simply just don't get a seat in the community.

 

[veggieshark]

I don't know why we need to write our gender in the first place. It doesn't change our main topic of all things aquatic! Just my opinion

I guess people want to know how to address someone in third person in a way that would not offend them or hurt their feelings. This is an issue with some languages. In some other languages, the only third person (whether it be a human, animal or object) is an "it".

For example, when somebody tries to transcribe your post to someone else, it would sound like "it is not asking that, it is talking about this". Whenever I say this to an native English speaker, they cringe

 

[Archangel8]

I guess people want to know how to address someone in third person in a way that would not offend them or hurt their feelings. This is an issue with some languages. In some other languages, the only third person (whether it be a human, animal or object) is an "it".

For example, when somebody tries to transcribe your post to someone else, it would sound like "it is not asking that, it is talking about this". Whenever I say this to an native English speaker, they cringe

Or they can use the username supplied.

 

[Fisch]

Yes, I understand that. This forum is very inclusive. However people with there being only male and female promotes the idea that there are only two genders. If they are so determined to include gender options then they should include everyone. They shouldnt be picking and choosing.


I understand and agree. I am 100% for getting rid of the gender option altogether. But if they are going to have gender options they arent going to choose who they want to include.

I believe that having the gender options widened will cause animosity sooner or later, if conscious or subconscious this site may end up in cancel culture Also, this not a US site only. I would keep the two options, but make the entry non mandatory.

 

[Fishproblem]

I believe that having the gender options widened will cause animosity sooner or later, if conscious or subconscious this site may end up in cancel culture Also, this not a US site only. I would keep the two options, but make the entry non mandatory.

Animosity from whom? And do you think that this is a US topic exclusively?

 

[Jayce0]

Animosity from whom? And do you think that this is a US topic exclusively?

I assume they're referencing the lack of gender neutral pronouns in certain languages as another mentioned, but as far as I'm concerned this website is generally for English speakers..?

 

[mattgirl]

I could very well get kicked off this forum for this but I have to say, this political correctness has gone to far. This is a forum to talk about fish. I don't care about the ethnicity or the sexual preference of the person I am helping. That has absolutely nothing to do with the reason for this forum.

There are thousands of other sites on the web where this can be discussed so I will just say one thing. When we are born we are physically born either a boy or a girl. Anything else is simply a lifestyle and we can call ourselves anything we choose. Physically there is no other gender.

It seems the world has turned upside down and because of that I am glad I am on the down hill side of life. Some things should be private. To be perfectly honest, I have to think most folks don't care what folks do in the privacy of their own home as long as they aren't hurting someone else. I know I don't.

 

[Mike]

I just added the option "Other" to the list. Also, the gender entry is not required to be selected.

Some of the other ideas talked about would have to be implemented by xenforo, the forum developer.

Thanks,
Mike