Feeling very stressed.

  • #1
So I haven’t used this account in quite a long time. Over the past year or so i’ve been very quickly losing motivation for fishkeeping. Don’t get me wrong, I love my fish, but it’s just been stressing me out very much. In August I started school again, and if I’m being honest here I’ve really neglected my tanks. My mom has taken over caring for the 20g but I’ve been neglecting the 32g. I spend about 10h/day at school and every other time I’m either busy or just exhausted. I’ve felt absolutely awful about this for the last month or so and I really need to come up to a solution. Earlier this week, one of my two Pearl Gouramis in the 32g passed away due to my negligence and I feel completely awful about it. I just really don’t know what to so right now, my mom seems willing to take over some of the responsibilities for the tank but I really just don’t have the energy to do maintenance. It would probably be best to rehome, but I love my fish and it would break my heart to have to give them away. Sorry if this post is too emotional or doesn’t belong here, I’m just feeling very lost at the moment and I would really appreciate advice.

  • #2
If you dont feel the need or want to care for them then it is better to just rehome them. Unless your Mom totally takes over. You cant just keep fish half way, you are either in or out. ;) This is a decision only you can make. :)

86 ssinit
  • #3
Guess you’ve got to either bring yourself up to working on your tanks or get rid of them. If you don’t enjoy maintaining them than there’s really no reason to keep them. Sorry I’m going to be harsh here! I’m up at 4:30 am and don’t get home from work till after 5. I do at least 6hrs of maintenance a week. Yes I’ve got 6 tanks so more consuming. But you’ve just got 2 for a total of 50g. 25g changed a week with cleaning filters even if your the slowest person out there is 2 hrs. a week. With some speed it’s under an hour. So there’s no reason. It’s actually therapeutic and should give you (yourself nobody else) great pride with your clean tanks and healthy fish. So please if your not up to the upkeep it’s time to either give them to your mom (a saint) or bring them back to the pet store. Not maintaining them isn’t helping them.
  • #4
Yeah maybe if there isn't time for the fish then you should take a break and come back to the hobby when your ready. I've done it, sure many people do.

I will also suggest downsizing to a single small tank such as a 10 gallon with some simple fish like WCMM. That way a weekly water change and clear up is going to take no time at all.

  • #5
Fellow student here. I downsized from eight tanks to one twenty gallon bc I'm back in person this year whereas last year was entirely online. With college apps and classes, taking care of that many tanks was going to be wayyy too much for me to handle, but having just one tank is nice. Maybe downsizing to one tank might make it more manageable for you without having to let go of all your fish. I've been in the same dilemma as you, don't worry, you'll figure out what works best for you! :)
  • #6
Also, maybe it would be good to look at your schedule/routine. Being exhausted by your regular schedule isn't a good thing. I know school/homework/extracurriculars/work can be time consuming (I'm not a student, but a teacher), but it sounds like your life is overburdening right now - which can't be healthy or enjoyable. Maybe you can cut something out - or at least cut back on it.


  • #7
I would just try to figure out how to simplify your routine. Remove whatever you need that may complicate it to more than doing weekly water change with something like a python water changer and cleaning the glass?

Ultimately that is my goal. Simple low tech simple routine.
  • #8
If you keep one tank with a low bio load maintenance time can be very low. I've been there.
  • #9
With your life so full of duties, giving away your tank is giving the fish a chance for a better life. That feeling alone should give you relief and make the decision easy.
Ask friends if anybody wants fish, the LFS may help, the local classifieds....
We all had to make some tough decisions in life. It is a good start to be honest with yourself, the feedback from this forum helps you along as well.
Good luck
Frank the Fish guy
  • #10
10h/day is too much school. Figure out how to cut that back and give yourself more time for life.
Teachers all live in their own world and think their class is the most important and forget you have other classes and a life too.

Your fish are your indicator. If you don't have time for them, then your life is out of balance.

Fish maintenance is just changing water. If you require lots of scrubbing and cleaning, then your tank is out of balance. A balanced tank just needs water changes.

Balance is a skill they don't teach in school.

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