Experience Members Advising Newbies

utkgreg

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I just want to take a moment to remind the experienced members on the site that we were all newbies at one time.

I've seen a lot of posts recently that immediately go into "you need to fix this" and "you need to fix that" on posts made by new members. Remember these new members are coming here for a sense of belonging and are hoping to find a place to celebrate their joy of fishkeeping. Of course the majority do want to learn, but please give your advice in a welcoming, nurturing manner. At least say "welcome!" before you start giving advice.

I can honestly tell you that if my first thread had been met with some of the harshness I've seen recently, I would not have stuck around. You can and should give advice, but it's all in the way you deliver your message!

"Welcome to our site! Here you will find people who love this hobby and are more than willing to share their experiences and expertise with you. Speaking of experiences, I'd like to recommend that you consider finding a larger tank for your fish as soon as possible, as they will quickly become cramped in their current home!"

The previous statement is, in general, going to go over WAYYYYYY better than just saying "You need a bigger tank for your fish."

Just my two cents. Not trying to offend anyone!
 

bellachan

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Well said! You guys helped me a lot. And Everyone should feel as welcomed as I did when I joined this forum
 

LeoDiaz

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O darn I think I'm one of them. I will remember next time or just say hi. I wouldnt call my self experience more like rookie.
 

peacemaker92

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This has been mentioned a few times before, but thank you for reminding it's definitely important to be as nice as you can while giving advices as not everyone would understand our true intentions and may take us the wrong way.
 

Edmund

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I think there is probably a strong sense of reward from turning around to hand out (recently) learned advice. Getting to feel like the experienced user for a change, maybe. Like you said, we were all beginners once.

Not sure how badly I've committed that blunt error, but I try to make a point of hanging onto advice until it's specifically asked for. I figure that's a nicer way to avoid infodumping people when all I meant was hello.
 

Rivieraneo

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I believe what happens is that most senior members get "response fatigue" answering the same questions over and over to where our responses turn into some thing you would hear on Dragnet, "just the facts maam, just the facts."

I agree, let's not forget common courtesy. Most new posts are in result of hopelessness or desperation, and to sound insensitive to someone emotionally vulnerable can result in our messages being interpreted the wrong way. I am guilty of this, thanks for the reminder, need to think sonder sometimes. .
 

endlercollector

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I try to edit myself when I respond, but it's hard to do on Tapatalk. I often find myself going back and trying to soften things because I realize that I sound impatient. Emoticons are definitely helpful, and I need to take out a few hours to learn more of them. The self-editing is especially important when the poster is asking a question that has been asked several times in less than a few days, but then I remind myself that the person is possibly in a panic and is frustrated with running a search.

As far as the searches go, I myself find it easier to use google and put in "fishlore" as one of the search terms. That way, I can put in half a dozen words and get a more limited set of results.

And lastly, there are the threads that I just try to stay out of because I can see them getting dangerous already. The "1-gallon tank" prefix is especially explosive
 

Trout

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I'm a complete noob, both to this site and to fish keeping, and I personally feel like I've been made very welcome here. I've done some homework on my own, so, hopefully I've asked reasonably intelligent questions.

At any rate, I've really appreciated the help and how nice everyone has been. My only regret is that I can't contribute much because, honestly, I don't know my butt from a hole in the ground.

Just my perspective as a new guy who wants to learn and recognizes his lack of knowledge.
 

Teleost

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Good advice.

I find being on forums too long can make you get a little short in your replies when you see the same things over and over. I know I can get a little blunt sometimes. When I catch myself doing it, I give myself a time out from the internet for a few days.

If we're not making the world a better place, we're not doing things properly.
 

_Fried_Bettas_

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Very nicely said. I've often seen things that irritate me even when they aren't directed at me. For some reason when people express their opinion like it is a solid fact, it gets under my skin, especially since newer people can't tell the difference between facts, common wisdom, and someones particular opinion. I imagine I probably come off wrong myself too at times. It is good if we all keep this in mind.
 

adive

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I identify with Rivier's post above about "response fatigue". I think what is a huge question for a newbie, its something the gurus have addressed many times and is a minor issue for them. As long as their post is helpful and the language fairly polite and to the point I think its ok. If too many things are imposed on the experts which discourages them from posting, thats counter-intuitive, we are loosing the expert knowledge/opinion which they would have otherwise posted.

All in all, thanks FL for a nice experience, the members here are all nice. I am happy. Cheers.
 
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utkgreg

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I identify with Rivier's post above about "response fatigue". I think what is a huge question for a newbie, its something the gurus have addressed many times and is a minor issue for them. As long as their post is helpful and the language fairly polite and to the point I think its ok. If too many things are imposed on the experts which discourages them from posting, thats counter-intuitive, we are loosing the expert knowledge/opinion which they would have otherwise posted.

All in all, thanks FL for a nice experience, the members here are all nice. I am happy. Cheers.
Just as long as you identify with his entire post. As he said, we all hit a point of fatigue, but we also have to remember that the new persons question is new to them. We must treat them with respect and not bark out orders at them. We also need to make sure that the forum does not become a bunch of experienced members with no new fresh blood to continue on the hobby! Rivierano definitely has the right interpretation of my original post!
 

fritschT

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I'm with you completely Trout I've been here for about 5 days and have found all the peeps helpful and very welcoming. I try not to ask too many eye roller questions. Here might be one of them but I'm asking anyway lol. I got a recommendation to add details to my profile but I'm not seeing how that can be done I did find where it showed how many posts I've made and stuff like that but no way to add info. Where do I need to go to find this area? Thank you for your help

Sent from my KFTHWI using Fish Lore Aquarium Fish Forum mobile app
 

tfckmk988

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frits its at the top of the page under My settings you might not be able to do it from the app

as a rather newer member it is incredibly difficult to tell opinion versus facts in some of the advice threads that i have read usually concerning some aspect of the cycle temperature or how to go about doing a fishless cycle and whether or not some ammount of ammonia is too much

stocking is a bit more concrete but is hard to believe sometimes as you will do a google and sites will say something different than the advice
 

endlercollector

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I got a recommendation to add details to my profile but I'm not seeing how that can be done I did find where it showed how many posts I've made and stuff like that but no way to add info. Where do I need to go to find this area? Thank you for your help

Sent from my KFTHWI using Fish Lore Aquarium Fish Forum mobile app
Click on My Settings (next to Logout on top right), then click on Edit Profile on left, third box down. Yeah, it took me a while to find it, too!
 

Orion5

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Good point. I left another aquarium fish forum for exactly that- the rudeness in the replies to newcomers. Fishlore is unique in that it's a respectful place for good advice.

I would also point out that some do not have English as their first language, so that might also make some responses come across as more direct than they really are.
 

fritschT

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TFCK thank you for your help you were right. I have never gotten on here with my computer this has been the first time. I got as much of it filled out as I can lol.
 
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