Does Your Family Think You Overdo Fish Care? - Page 2

DeniseF

Member
haha yes definitely... but its tolerated EXCEPT when I had a tank cycling and another with ICH so was doing ridiculous number of water changes.. then they got a bit more fed up! My OH jokes he is so far down the list of care he's fallen off!
 

Vaughn

Member
You’re a water keeper first and a fish keeper second. Having 6 tanks means spending all day doing water changes on Saturday or doing one tank a day. Basically my family sees me carrying water jugs more than anything else haha. They tell me I’m crazy and doing too much and then I just start talking about the nitrogen cycle and they just leave me be because they don’t want to hear a whole essay haha. It was horrible when my grandmother lived with us for a while because she was always over my shoulder saying “you don’t need to change the water that’s why it has a filter” “fish tanks stink why do you like them” “why do your goldfish get a big tank they can live in a bowl” and just all kinds of stuff like that. No wonder her tanks stink- she never took care of them. My tanks never smell bad. I even had her come in my room and smell them to shut her up.
I’m actually diagnosed with ocd and my tanks are what keeps me sane and my therapist even told my parents that as long as I’m not asking for money or doing something harmful to just let me be because it helps me. Plus my fish are healthy and love their clean water
 

Colleen B

Member
In the last 5 months I went from 1 tank to 4! After every one of them my mom said "no more tanks in my house!!!!" And here I am with a 10, 37, 55 and 60
 

AJE

Member
DragonsFins said:
Some water changes are still required even in heavily planted tanks. An aquarium is still an enclosed system and some water still needs to be removed and replaced periodically to replace minerals and electrolytes your fish use up, its not all about ammonia, nitrites, and nitrates. Depends on the setup, but most keepers with fully heavily planted tanks still do and advise weekly water changes.
It does depend on lots of things, like stocking, amount of plants and tank size but it is possible to do no water changes
 

Grammywms

Member
Rylan, boy can I relate. My sister-in-law has 3 bettas, each in its own fish bowl, probably 1/2 gal.each. She does weekly water changes, using distilled water. Never tests water . No plants or places to hide. They are all perfectly healthy!! Go figure. Then there's conscientious me, constantly reading and researching the best of care and living conditions for my little Ruben. I've spent $225 since I adopted him in August. Had one good month, with good health, then he got sick. You remember my Concerned About My Betta thread. You and other fishlore members were so reassuring and helpful. He has improved some. It's gradual. Fins are beginning to look better and there is new growth. More active than he was, still eating, but still spends a lot of time on side always at top of tank. He hasn't flared and has not gone down to his cave or rock bridge yet. I'm still fasting him one day a week. I give him a pea the next day, then back to his North Fin 1mm betta pellets, 3 twice a day. 30% water changes with spring water, conditioned with Prime, weekly. Water tested weekly after water change and gravel vac. Parameters good. Indian Almond leaves in water. 2 marimo moss balls. Ordered pre-filter sponges and biofilter media rocks to add to his filter chamber to increase beneficial bacteria growth. Hopefully he will return to his old self. My husband says I've been so stressed since I got him that I haven't been able to enjoy him. I've lost sleep over worry about him. I've even prayed.
 

Shelaty

Member
DragonsFins said:
My mom told me just last weekend how my fish aren't animals and I'll have to 'get rid' of them when I move next year, despite me living on my own and with the move having nothing whatsoever to do with her, so I think that gives you a pretty good idea of what the first several years of my fish keeping hobby back home was like with my family.

My dad gave me my first fish tank and told me to do some research on the subject however, hes supportive but to an extent. He was a bit more critical of it the first few years but to be fair I did go a little nuts with about 10-12 tanks in my first two years. I think after year five once he realized I was in it for the long haul he warmed up to it, though. Hes a big animal lover and did always really enjoy the fish, his concern was usually more for how negatively my mom would react.

Everyone else in my life has always been supportive of my fish keeping, mostly because I probably wouldn't put up with anyone who was critical of it, lol, but I have good people in my life with my friends, partner, and found family. I'm the go-to person for fish questions and my tanks and rack always spark conversation, awed remarks, and questions from guests. Some of them probably think I'm a bit crazy and go a bit overboard, which is fair, I've got a bit more going on then the average keeper, but most seem facinated and impressed. My partner and his sister, who I live with, adore the tanks and are always happy to listen to me talk about fish even though its not really their thing. I let them each pick a fish to put in the rack so they could be a little more involved as well and when I went away for a week for thanksgiving my partners sister did an amazing job looking after the tanks and fish, much better then my parents had ever done.

I feel like the negative viewpoint when it comes to proper fish/aquarium keeping comes from a couple places: People unwilling to admit that what they've heard/thought/been told is wrong and a lack of care. People sometimes just want a pet, they don't want to put in any real effort or money, they just like the idea of an animal in theory. Again going back to my mom, she spent years talking about how she wanted a Yorkie, going on and on about one she had when she was in her 20s. About four years ago we found and got a little 5 month old yorkie puppy. But you know who slept with him? Got up with him in the night? Took him out? Spent hours working with him because he'd had previous trauma and a lot of trust issues? Who bathed him, fed him, groomed him, and took him to the vet? I did, because my mom wasn't willing to put in the effort when it came down to it so I ended up with one more dog then I originally planned.
Fish get the short end of the stick because the popular consensus is that they're 'simple easy' pets with a $5 price tag that you can easily replace and because you can't hug or pet them you can't really get attached to them. Seems a little silly why you would ever want a pet you even would consider not being able to bond with and enjoy in the first place, but some people just want them just because.

It sucks this is still such a common thing, but I've seen changes happen over the years and can only hope that things continue to change for the better.
What a well spoken reply. You seem like a upstanding person that I, as a mother, would be proud of.

Vaughn said:
You’re a water keeper first and a fish keeper second. Having 6 tanks means spending all day doing water changes on Saturday or doing one tank a day. Basically my family sees me carrying water jugs more than anything else haha. They tell me I’m crazy and doing too much and then I just start talking about the nitrogen cycle and they just leave me be because they don’t want to hear a whole essay haha. It was horrible when my grandmother lived with us for a while because she was always over my shoulder saying “you don’t need to change the water that’s why it has a filter” “fish tanks stink why do you like them” “why do your goldfish get a big tank they can live in a bowl” and just all kinds of stuff like that. No wonder her tanks stink- she never took care of them. My tanks never smell bad. I even had her come in my room and smell them to shut her up.
I’m actually diagnosed with ocd and my tanks are what keeps me sane and my therapist even told my parents that as long as I’m not asking for money or doing something harmful to just let me be because it helps me. Plus my fish are healthy and love their clean water
I hate it when people say fish tanks stinks. Drives me crazy. I am glad you found something you enjoy. A lot of us feel fish keeping is therapeutic.
 

Andy S

Member
Things have changed considerably in the last 50 years or so. I think a lot of the comments about what parents and grandparents say about how we keep fish is because some of what we now do is totally at odds with what was considered best practice when they were young and keeping fish.
I had my first tank nearly 40 years ago and we didn't do anything like the amount of water changes that we now consider normal maintenance. Back then your 'mature' water was considered liquid gold and we really only did water changes when it became necessary.
I still get it now, people who used to keep fish half a century ago see a gas cylinder next to my tank and assume that it's oxygen. When I tell them it's actually carbon dioxide which I'm injecting into the water they look horrified - why on earth would you want to do that, surely you want to deplete the carbon dioxide and replace it with oxygen?
I also get the, ''Why do you spend so many hours fiddling with your fish tank''? When I point out that they actually have a dog which they take for a walk an hour a day the answer is usually along the lines of, ''Yes,but it's a dog, these are 'just' some fish''.
 

Anthony Bloom

Member
I'm not sure this is the direction you began with your initial post, but the title caught my eye. Thus, I will offer a story the likes of which (as of yet) I have not heard of anyone else going quite "over the top" in fish care as I did once.....

My youngest daughter (about 5 at the time) came home one day from the local village festival with a goldfish she had won at a midway game. According to her bothers, the vendor dropped it on the ground while handing it to her after the win. She subsequently dropped it about 5 times over the next hour bringing it home, and then once more off the side of our kitchen table. She insisted that we give her newfound (and quite, by now, abused & floating half sideways) friend a nice home.

We had heard that most of this "prize-fish" rarely make it home alive, little less survive the first week - especially with the poor care they get just making it to the "I won you!" level. We were surprised that it had made it home at all that day! Fortunately, we had an old 2 gallon flat round tank from years ago, and so we did not have to absorb any new tank purchase.....yet).

Well, it survived. I had been a former fish-guy at the time (a decade-long hobby I had left years earlier.) and so my "animal mothering" instincts kicked in as our daughter fell more in love with her prize. She named it "Goldie" (yes, she was quite an original thinker back then).

As is unfortunately true about many young children pets, after about 6 weeks Goldie moved in status from my daughter's fish to my fish (off she went to new adventures after she realized you can't pet fish very well, and they don't do excel at playing with you in the backyard). Between this, and my medical involvement in rehabbing Goldie from abused fish to thriving family pet, I began to grow rather attached to him. Old addictions are hard to break, and so I was hopelessly back into aquarium mode again. Since most goldfish don't tend to live very long on average (not their fault - but usually their keeper's fault), I felt that I could see myself getting back on the wagon sometime soon.

Wrong.

Flash forward to about 8 years and 3 tank upgrades later: Goldie was not a pampered 7" sometimes hand fed and pet-able (yes, he loved to swim into my open hand for a thumb-petting from time to time) part of the family. His kingdom was now a decorative wood pedestal supported 45 Tall with a Marineland Emperor 400 BioWheel Power filter. The kids still had little interest in the care process but did love the notoriety of showing their friends Dad's unusual waterbuddy.

Unfortunately, Goldie eventually developed ailments that cause me to have to daily feed him by hand. At first, over the counter meds helped but after several month regiments, it was clear that he was only cycling back to the original problem over and over again. While hesitatingly researching humane ways of putting down Goldie, I ran across a local veterinarian, who had specialized in fish as a side study in college. He was quite interested in my (and Goldie's) plight.

After developing a fish ambulance consisting of a gallon ice cream pail and cover and a small air pump modified to run off of a cigarette lighter power outlet, Goldie made his first trip to the vet. The result was my being taught how to give Goldie potent antibiotic injections once a day for two weeks. Our friends were amazed (if not befuddled) at the videos my wife shared of me doing this procedure at our kitchen table. Also that I actually paid $35 for the antibiotic and $50 for his initial vet visit (did I mention that the vet visit alone caused some of our friends to go tilt laughing?).

When this proved ineffective, it was decided that perhaps an x-ray might give more insight into what was going on (yes - a fish x-ray). Another ambulance ride to the vet and $150 later, we had an initial answer: It appeared that Goldie may have had some form of blockage or malformation between two of his swim bladders. The vet decided to escalate the case further for us. He was familiar with an international web-based forum of fish veterinarians. He decided to post Goldie's case. For the next two weeks, Goldie became an international star in the medical fish world. We received direct interest from nearly a dozen fish vets from nearly as many countries - all attempting to decipher Goldie's condition.

We were called in for another consultation with our vet. We had two options: either an MRI (yes....a fish MRI) could be attempted to further clarify Goldie's condition and determine if it were treatable with surgery (yes....invasive fish surgery); or due to the fact that Goldie was not responding to any other treatments we should look at euthanization before he showed signs of actual and obvious suffering.

I actually did consider the MRI, as did my wife (a surprise move from the level-headed one in the family). We decided that the $500 price tag was a bit prohibitive (had we had the "fun-funds" available, we would have tried it).

We chose to euthanize. However, by this time, I was too emotionally connected with Goldie. Being the real man I am - I asked my 17 yr old son to drive Goldie's final fish ambulance run to the vet to do the deed. Not being emotionally attached to Goldie (and by now seriously considering his father's grasp of mental health), he consented.

As a parting and professional gesture, our vet offered to (actually asked us permission to) throw in as part of the usual $85 euthanization process, a pro-bono necropsy to finally try to solve the mystery of Goldie's situation. We consented. The final analysis was that Goldie most likely had developed a cancerous tumor in a duct area between two swim bladders. He deemed that surgery could have been performed, but the likelihood of recovery and survival would have been minimal. We had, in hindsight chosen the correct (and least expensive) path to follow.

As a result of our trek into the unknown realms of aquatic companion care and treatment, the now epic story of Goldie had become a widespread legend about both of our workplaces, and among our social circles. It provided both shock, amusement, and a lot of laughs at the "over the top" care we had chosen to take.

Interestingly, while I had thought my wife had only tolerated my excentric-ness in this matter, I found that she had actually become my and Goldie's biggest cheerleader. An often asked question was, "why did you let your husband spend ("waste" was usually the actual term used) so much money on just a fish?!? - That is ridiculous!"

Karen often responded by pointing out that my aquarium upgrades actually had netted me a small profit (finding unbelievable and well-timed deals via Craigs List, and selling off extra features of my purchases that I did not need) which actually had covered a lot of the food costs over the years. People were generally impressed by this, but still questioned the wisdom/sanity of allowing me to spend hundreds of dollars on the final stages of Goldie's medical care.

Living in the Midwest made this next argument a simple one for Karen. She often asked, "does your husband deer hung?" The usual answer was "of course." To which Karen began asking further questions: How much did his guns (plural - no self-respecting Wisconsin deer hunter has only 1 firearm!) cost? How much do his practice and targeting ammo cost? What about his collection of blaze orange hunting apparel and yearly upgrades? And that week-long "deer camp" trip with the boys - how much does that set you back each year?

It did not take long for many people to look back silently at Karen - secretly longing that their husbands had developed more of a love for petting large home-based carp, rather than a taste for fresh venison.

So there is my story. Seriously!
 

DragonsFins

Member
AJE said:
It does depend on lots of things, like stocking, amount of plants and tank size but it is possible to do no water changes
Possible sure, but not very healthy for the inhabitants in the long-term. In an extremely lightly stocked, heavily planted, large aquarium, which the majority of people don't keep as, obviously, most want a lovely large display tank to be full of fish you could really cut down on your water changes but you would still have to do one at some point. It is impossible to eliminate water changes completely from the equation in the average enclosed indoor aquarium if you want healthy thriving fish. No amount of plants can replace minerals and electrolytes and eventually your fish will use those up.

In theory you could re-mineralize the water manually as some do when using R/O water, but this is not something I've ever heard of being done in place of water changes in an established tank 10 years in the hobby. There would be a LOT of careful measuring and complicated chemistry involved to be sure dosing is appropriate and a lot of room for error, which is why I'm sure most if not everyone sticks with water changes, which would still be easier, less time consuming, and cheaper to boot which would defeat the point of discovering a way to not do water changes in the first place IMO.

There are definitely ways to cut back on the amount and frequency of water changes and a lot of it does depend on the size of the tank, the stocks bioload, and filtration/how heavily its planted but to say there's a way to have a healthy thriving fish/aquarium with zero water changes whatsoever is, as far as I know, just not true. I've seen people try, I've seen people speculate about this before, and the end result has always been that some water changes at some point are always necessary. You can't have a completely enclosed manually set up system and expect it to act and function like a fully natural one.

Anyone else is more then welcome to weigh in with their experience but that has been mine over the years of discussions and research on the topic.

Shelaty said:
What a well spoken reply. You seem like a upstanding person that I, as a mother, would be proud of.
You are far too kind, thank you. This made me cry a little, to be honest.
 

Cheesecake

Member
I think people harp on 'fish-keepers' because they don't understand. Once you get your first tank, your hooked. There isn't any 'not keeping fish anymore'. You get your first tank, and your like wow, this is actually pretty flipping amazing. Then it gets on to two tanks, then three, and so on and so forth. Can't wait for my next one!
 

Punkin

Member
I haven't read thru all the responses yet, but yes, my husband thinks I do a water change too often (once a week).
 
  • Thread Starter

Rylan

Member
It's so nice to know I'm not the only one! And that some of us have families that join in aquarium adventures. I hope at least few of my family and friends will follow too!

I've thoroughly been enjoying reading all of your responses so far. I wish I had as many tanks as some of you do.

I agree that people don't often think of fish as critters you can become attached to. I used to be of the same mind for a time before trying to care for fish, but given how stressed out I've been over the past few days over a single little betta fish and his snail housemate it's clear minds can be changed. I'm utterly fascinated with the eco-system in my tank, even when it throws me a curveball I wasn't expecting and perhaps should've been.

I'm glad I made this thread! I particularly enjoyed reading about Goldie in Anthony Bloom 's post. All of your posts have been so interesting to read!

It seems like when you start relate to people fishkeeping ventures in comparison to the other random hobbies people have and shell out cash for they finally start to understand.

"Well, I guess did spend a pretty big wad on that gardening project, or hunting trip - whatever hobby- I only got to enjoy for little while..."

My mom is obsessed with the care of potted plants, when I explained to her fishkeeping is sort of like my version of gardening it became more of like, "I guess if I think about it, I spend quite a lot of time and money on plants I have for only 3 months and they don't even grow back the next year..."
 

Logan.t.Foster

Member
TeamRandrus said:
Ugh I had a family member say the cycling doesn’t exist- that she is just ‘lucky’ and has a knack with fish because she can just put as many fish as she wants in a tank, the day after set up withou cycling and ‘nothing goes wrong’

Then a few months in she always says ‘omg all my fish randomly died. Must have brought home a sick fish.’
If I even try to explain the cycle she says it’s not real.
That makes me SOOO MAD!!! It's the Flat Earthers all over again!!!!!
 

Shelaty

Member
Rylan said:
It's so nice to know I'm not the only one! And that some of us have families that join in aquarium adventures. I hope at least few of my family and friends will follow too!

I've thoroughly been enjoying reading all of your responses so far. I wish I had as many tanks as some of you do.

I agree that people don't often think of fish as critters you can become attached to. I used to be of the same mind for a time before trying to care for fish, but given how stressed out I've been over the past few days over a single little betta fish and his snail housemate it's clear minds can be changed. I'm utterly fascinated with the eco-system in my tank, even when it throws me a curveball I wasn't expecting and perhaps should've been.

I'm glad I made this thread! I particularly enjoyed reading about Goldie in Anthony Bloom 's post. All of your posts have been so interesting to read!

It seems like when you start relate to people fishkeeping ventures in comparison to the other random hobbies people have and shell out cash for they finally start to understand.

"Well, I guess did spend a pretty big wad on that gardening project, or hunting trip - whatever hobby- I only got to enjoy for little while..."

My mom is obsessed with the care of potted plants, when I explained to her fishkeeping is sort of like my version of gardening it became more of like, "I guess if I think about it, I spend quite a lot of time and money on plants I have for only 3 months and they don't even grow back the next year..."
Hear, hear and cheers!
 

Cheesecake

Member
Anthony Bloom said:
I'm not sure this is the direction you began with your initial post, but the title caught my eye. Thus, I will offer a story the likes of which (as of yet) I have not heard of anyone else going quite "over the top" in fish care as I did once.....

My youngest daughter (about 5 at the time) came home one day from the local village festival with a goldfish she had won at a midway game. According to her bothers, the vendor dropped it on the ground while handing it to her after the win. She subsequently dropped it about 5 times over the next hour bringing it home, and then once more off the side of our kitchen table. She insisted that we give her newfound (and quite, by now, abused & floating half sideways) friend a nice home.

We had heard that most of this "prize-fish" rarely make it home alive, little less survive the first week - especially with the poor care they get just making it to the "I won you!" level. We were surprised that it had made it home at all that day! Fortunately, we had an old 2 gallon flat round tank from years ago, and so we did not have to absorb any new tank purchase.....yet).

Well, it survived. I had been a former fish-guy at the time (a decade-long hobby I had left years earlier.) and so my "animal mothering" instincts kicked in as our daughter fell more in love with her prize. She named it "Goldie" (yes, she was quite an original thinker back then).

As is unfortunately true about many young children pets, after about 6 weeks Goldie moved in status from my daughter's fish to my fish (off she went to new adventures after she realized you can't pet fish very well, and they don't do excel at playing with you in the backyard). Between this, and my medical involvement in rehabbing Goldie from abused fish to thriving family pet, I began to grow rather attached to him. Old addictions are hard to break, and so I was hopelessly back into aquarium mode again. Since most goldfish don't tend to live very long on average (not their fault - but usually their keeper's fault), I felt that I could see myself getting back on the wagon sometime soon.

Wrong.

Flash forward to about 8 years and 3 tank upgrades later: Goldie was not a pampered 7" sometimes hand fed and pet-able (yes, he loved to swim into my open hand for a thumb-petting from time to time) part of the family. His kingdom was now a decorative wood pedestal supported 45 Tall with a Marineland Emperor 400 BioWheel Power filter. The kids still had little interest in the care process but did love the notoriety of showing their friends Dad's unusual waterbuddy.

Unfortunately, Goldie eventually developed ailments that cause me to have to daily feed him by hand. At first, over the counter meds helped but after several month regiments, it was clear that he was only cycling back to the original problem over and over again. While hesitatingly researching humane ways of putting down Goldie, I ran across a local veterinarian, who had specialized in fish as a side study in college. He was quite interested in my (and Goldie's) plight.

After developing a fish ambulance consisting of a gallon ice cream pail and cover and a small air pump modified to run off of a cigarette lighter power outlet, Goldie made his first trip to the vet. The result was my being taught how to give Goldie potent antibiotic injections once a day for two weeks. Our friends were amazed (if not befuddled) at the videos my wife shared of me doing this procedure at our kitchen table. Also that I actually paid $35 for the antibiotic and $50 for his initial vet visit (did I mention that the vet visit alone caused some of our friends to go tilt laughing?).

When this proved ineffective, it was decided that perhaps an x-ray might give more insight into what was going on (yes - a fish x-ray). Another ambulance ride to the vet and $150 later, we had an initial answer: It appeared that Goldie may have had some form of blockage or malformation between two of his swim bladders. The vet decided to escalate the case further for us. He was familiar with an international web-based forum of fish veterinarians. He decided to post Goldie's case. For the next two weeks, Goldie became an international star in the medical fish world. We received direct interest from nearly a dozen fish vets from nearly as many countries - all attempting to decipher Goldie's condition.

We were called in for another consultation with our vet. We had two options: either an MRI (yes....a fish MRI) could be attempted to further clarify Goldie's condition and determine if it were treatable with surgery (yes....invasive fish surgery); or due to the fact that Goldie was not responding to any other treatments we should look at euthanization before he showed signs of actual and obvious suffering.

I actually did consider the MRI, as did my wife (a surprise move from the level-headed one in the family). We decided that the $500 price tag was a bit prohibitive (had we had the "fun-funds" available, we would have tried it).

We chose to euthanize. However, by this time, I was too emotionally connected with Goldie. Being the real man I am - I asked my 17 yr old son to drive Goldie's final fish ambulance run to the vet to do the deed. Not being emotionally attached to Goldie (and by now seriously considering his father's grasp of mental health), he consented.

As a parting and professional gesture, our vet offered to (actually asked us permission to) throw in as part of the usual $85 euthanization process, a pro-bono necropsy to finally try to solve the mystery of Goldie's situation. We consented. The final analysis was that Goldie most likely had developed a cancerous tumor in a duct area between two swim bladders. He deemed that surgery could have been performed, but the likelihood of recovery and survival would have been minimal. We had, in hindsight chosen the correct (and least expensive) path to follow.

As a result of our trek into the unknown realms of aquatic companion care and treatment, the now epic story of Goldie had become a widespread legend about both of our workplaces, and among our social circles. It provided both shock, amusement, and a lot of laughs at the "over the top" care we had chosen to take.

Interestingly, while I had thought my wife had only tolerated my excentric-ness in this matter, I found that she had actually become my and Goldie's biggest cheerleader. An often asked question was, "why did you let your husband spend ("waste" was usually the actual term used) so much money on just a fish?!? - That is ridiculous!"

Karen often responded by pointing out that my aquarium upgrades actually had netted me a small profit (finding unbelievable and well-timed deals via Craigs List, and selling off extra features of my purchases that I did not need) which actually had covered a lot of the food costs over the years. People were generally impressed by this, but still questioned the wisdom/sanity of allowing me to spend hundreds of dollars on the final stages of Goldie's medical care.

Living in the Midwest made this next argument a simple one for Karen. She often asked, "does your husband deer hung?" The usual answer was "of course." To which Karen began asking further questions: How much did his guns (plural - no self-respecting Wisconsin deer hunter has only 1 firearm!) cost? How much do his practice and targeting ammo cost? What about his collection of blaze orange hunting apparel and yearly upgrades? And that week-long "deer camp" trip with the boys - how much does that set you back each year?

It did not take long for many people to look back silently at Karen - secretly longing that their husbands had developed more of a love for petting large home-based carp, rather than a taste for fresh venison.

So there is my story. Seriously!
Fishlore needs to update itself so that there's a rating for all-around inspiring .
Many people have probably said this, and this happened long ago but I'm still going to say it: I'm sorry for your loss .
 

Frisbee

Member
Yea, my family thinks I'm weird for changing my water so much, and my brother is still convinced goldfish and bettas can live in little bowls. I tried to explain that common goldfish get 20+ inches long and live for like 20-30 year when properly cared for and produce LOTs of waste, he didn't believe me

His very words "I'm just sayin, people keep goldfish in bowls all the time and its fine"

Me: "But it's not fine, that's why people think goldfish only live to be a year or two old and only get 2 inches, it's cause they try to keep them in bowls!!!"

I tried to tell him bettas need at least 3 gallons of water (bare minimum), he though I was a complete weirdo for thinking that... sigh.


Some may call this spoiling, but a have one baby girl betta with a whole 10 gallons to roam in (she does have a few snails and shrimp as tank mates). I love my betta.
 

Cheesecake

Member
TeamRandrus said:
Ugh I had a family member say the cycling doesn’t exist- that she is just ‘lucky’ and has a knack with fish because she can just put as many fish as she wants in a tank, the day after set up withou cycling and ‘nothing goes wrong’

Then a few months in she always says ‘omg all my fish randomly died. Must have brought home a sick fish.’
If I even try to explain the cycle she says it’s not real.
That's so sad it's almost scary.
 

BlackOsprey

Member
I'm pretty sure they think I overdo fish in general.
 

Logan.t.Foster

Member
I don't really have close friends, and the ones I do have don't really care bout my fish. My family actually understands my obsession, and are ok with listening to me talk about all my little fishes!
I am hoping for a 5 gallon shrimp tank and a 10 gallon tetra tank for Christmas and my birthday!

(They are probably just happy that I am not playing video games or doing drugs )
 
  • Thread Starter

Rylan

Member
Logan.t.Foster said:
I don't really have close friends, and the ones I do have don't really care bout my fish. My family actually understands my obsession, and are ok with listening to me talk about all my little fishes!
I am hoping for a 5 gallon shrimp tank and a 10 gallon tetra tank for Christmas and my birthday!

(They are probably just happy that I am not playing video games or doing drugs )
Word! Lol there are worse hobbies. Though I do love video games.
 

Cheesecake

Member

Ryan Neidinger

Member
I thought it was hard to take care of my own tanks but then my dad got into the hobby too. He just got into the hobby to look at the fish and I don’t think he knows how to clean a tank other than the magnetic glass cleaner. I have 8 tanks my self and then his 2 to keep up with too. It makes it worse that most of our tanks have chiclids in them so they get dirty fast. At least I have a Christmas idea for him because his HOB filters are a pain to work with and make it harder to keep the tanks he has clean.
 

Frisbee

Member
Logan.t.Foster said:
I don't really have close friends, and the ones I do have don't really care bout my fish. My family actually understands my obsession, and are ok with listening to me talk about all my little fishes!
I am hoping for a 5 gallon shrimp tank and a 10 gallon tetra tank for Christmas and my birthday!

(They are probably just happy that I am not playing video games or doing drugs )
Yea, I don't play much video games anymore cause that time is consumed by my fish tank, except I still spend just as much time on my device cause I use that time to be on fishlore, lol.
 

Logan.t.Foster

Member
LittleBlueGuppy said:
Yea, I don't play much video games anymore cause that time is consumed by my fish tank, except I still spend just as much time on my device cause I use that time to be on fishlore, lol.
I recently got back on my fishlore account. My parents have to drag me off.
 

Cheesecake

Member
Speaking of games, doe anyone still play TF2? It's an oldie but a goodie.
 

Frisbee

Member
Canaculus said:
Speaking of games, doe anyone still play TF2? It's an oldie but a goodie.
I don't know what that is, me and my brothers are mostly into World of Tanks Blitz, but I can't get it on my kindle so I like to play Empire four kingdoms. I'm mostly a bookworm though, I like to read, and when I start reading I get sucked in to the book and can't stop.
 

Cheesecake

Member
LittleBlueGuppy said:
I don't know what that is, me and my brothers are mostly into World of Tanks Blitz, but I can't get it on my kindle so I like to play Empire four kingdoms. I'm mostly a bookworm though, I like to read, and when I start reading I get sucked in to the book and can't stop.
Good books will do that. Come one, you have to have heard of Team Fortress 2! It was one of the most popular games back in the day.
I've never tried WOTB but it looks fun.
 

Jellibeen

Member
LittleBlueGuppy said:
I don't know what that is, me and my brothers are mostly into World of Tanks Blitz, but I can't get it on my kindle so I like to play Empire four kingdoms. I'm mostly a bookworm though, I like to read, and when I start reading I get sucked in to the book and can't stop.
I feel that. I accidentally read a book yesterday. By that mean I got a novella from the library, and accidentally read the whole thing.

I don't think any of my close friends and family think I spend too much time on my tanks, but they certainly get tired of listening to me talk about it.
 

Frisbee

Member
Canaculus said:
Good books will do that. Come one, you have to have heard of Team Fortress 2! It was one of the most popular games back in the day.
I've never tried WOTB but it looks fun.
It is fun. You should try it.
 

Frisbee

Member
Jellibeen said:
I feel that. I accidentally read a book yesterday. By that mean I got a novella from the library, and accidentally read the whole thing.

I don't think any of my close friends and family think I spend too much time on my tanks, but they certainly get tired of listening to me talk about it.
Haha, yea, I do that ALL THE TIME. I have to tell my self to only read so many chapters so I have some of the book left to read the next day, I mean you don't want to waste the whole book in one day right? But it's sooooo hard, lol.
 

Logan.t.Foster

Member
Jellibeen said:
I got a novella from the library, and accidentally read the whole thing
I do that a lot, especially on school nights.
My parents don't like it, but I must read the books.
 

kanzekatores

Member
Jellibeen said:
I feel that. I accidentally read a book yesterday. By that mean I got a novella from the library, and accidentally read the whole thing.

I don't think any of my close friends and family think I spend too much time on my tanks, but they certainly get tired of listening to me talk about it.
Yes I do that with books too though it depends on the book. Some I just can't stop reading and the next thing I know I've spent the day reading.
For me my family doesn't understand the nitrogen cycle. They say: "I just don't understand why youd want it to be dangerously high"
Me: "Because then it goes back down and I can add more fish"
Them: "But woudn't it kill the fish"
Me: *smh* You've got to pick hardy fish for the cycle
And I talk so much about fish sometimes people forbid me from talking about it more
 
  • Thread Starter

Rylan

Member
Just today, I was doing a water change on my fish tank and a friend walked in, looked at me siphoning out water, made a face and said “that seems a bit much, but I guess that’s your business”

Ha! Yeah, whoa changing out fish water so that it’s clean. So extreme
 

Fish_Tails

Member
Yes! My fiance has commented several times that I'm "obsessive."

She had (before we met) a 75 gallon with cichlids. I keep trying to explain that a 5 gallon is way more unforgiving. You have to keep it clean.

She still thinks I'm obsessive.
 

ChuthuluFish

Member
Heck yeah
 

YATT

Member
Went to a friends house. His son has a goldfish and koi. I went to look as he said his water was cloudy. Holy “shnike” I said. I said I can help. He was like why. They are 39 cents.
Guess it is just me.....

 

Lynn78too

Member
YATT said:
Went to a friends house. His son has a goldfish and koi. I went to look as he said his water was cloudy. Holy “shnike” I said. I said I can help. He was like why. They are 39 cents.
Guess it is just me.....

Uh, cloudy? That's like the nastiest of smog in the dirtiest of cities. Poor little guy.
 

YATT

Member
Lynn78too said:
Uh, cloudy? That's like the nastiest of smog in the dirtiest of cities. Poor little guy.
He said it wasn't like that until he added the Koi. I then told him the requirements for a KoI (gallons needed) and told him to put the fish in a pond nearby I knew had koI and was isolated from streams. He looked at me like I was crazy.
 

Fish_Tails

Member
Logan.t.Foster said:
That makes me SOOO MAD!!! It's the Flat Earthers all over again!!!!!
I have a friend that does the same thing! She keeps buying bettas and housing them in a 1 gallon glass bowl, no heat, no light, no filter.

Every couple months I'll get a message from her "omg my fish is dying, I'm so devistated."

But she refuses to upgrade on anything bc she says bettas "dont need any of that stuff"!
 

Shelaty

Member
I can't believe that people don't see that fish do feel. You know when they are sick, happy, scared. Just don't get it.
 

TeamRandrus

Member
Fish_Tails said:
I have a friend that does the same thing! She keeps buying bettas and housing them in a 1 gallon glass bowl, no heat, no light, no filter.

Every couple months I'll get a message from her "omg my fish is dying, I'm so devistated."

But she refuses to upgrade on anything bc she says bettas "dont need any of that stuff"!
Ugh that’s so heartbreaking! I don’t get people like that- the fish are lives- a life is a life. We need to do everything we can to give them a wonderful home!! I hope she listens eventually
 

windrunner9189

Member
my dad seems to really be interested in caring for animals, since my grandparents kept a parrot and fishtanks through his childhood. I told him about ADF's, which I was thinking about getting, and he got interested and did about as much research as I did on them. my mom, on the other hand, thinks that fish are too dumb to be unhappy in small tanks. she believes betta bowls are humane she's too stubborn for me to convince her that fish can be unhappy, and even have health issues in such small tanks. she's still a great mom, though, but just not the best at fish.
what's funny is that today my dad pulled me over and said, "I'm going to get you a kingsnake." in a tone where he was halfway joking and halfway serious. now, keep in mind that my teacher has kingsnakes in his room that he allows the students to handle. he kept two kingsnakes in his room, before some guy left the lid open for one to escape. so, I grew to like kingsnakes, and like snakes in general. my mom HATES snakes, and would never let me get a reptile of any sort. fish was the exception. my dad, half serious, wanted to sneak a huge, maybe 40 gallon, snake enclosure and hide it for a while while I got a snake.

maybe slightly off topic, but I went to a friend's house today for a brief christmas party. recently, someone moved into their house with a 10 gallon GOLDFISH tank. the water levels were halfway full (still unsure why), and the water + tank were so cloudy.. I was too nervous and socially awkward to point it out to them. I think a tank bigger than a 10 gallon is out of their budget, unfortunately. my best wishes to them, though. great people.
 
  • Thread Starter

Rylan

Member
firesflightt said:
my dad seems to really be interested in caring for animals, since my grandparents kept a parrot and fishtanks through his childhood. I told him about ADF's, which I was thinking about getting, and he got interested and did about as much research as I did on them. my mom, on the other hand, thinks that fish are too dumb to be unhappy in small tanks. she believes betta bowls are humane she's too stubborn for me to convince her that fish can be unhappy, and even have health issues in such small tanks. she's still a great mom, though, but just not the best at fish.
what's funny is that today my dad pulled me over and said, "I'm going to get you a kingsnake." in a tone where he was halfway joking and halfway serious. now, keep in mind that my teacher has kingsnakes in his room that he allows the students to handle. he kept two kingsnakes in his room, before some guy left the lid open for one to escape. so, I grew to like kingsnakes, and like snakes in general. my mom HATES snakes, and would never let me get a reptile of any sort. fish was the exception. my dad, half serious, wanted to sneak a huge, maybe 40 gallon, snake enclosure and hide it for a while while I got a snake.

maybe slightly off topic, but I went to a friend's house today for a brief christmas party. recently, someone moved into their house with a 10 gallon GOLDFISH tank. the water levels were halfway full (still unsure why), and the water + tank were so cloudy.. I was too nervous and socially awkward to point it out to them. I think a tank bigger than a 10 gallon is out of their budget, unfortunately. my best wishes to them, though. great people.
Ha, I that was a roller coaster from start to finish. Thanks for sharing! I can relate to your last experience as well. Sometimes it’s hard to know when fighting that battle won’t just be you striking the air - you just get tired and frustrated.
 

candiedragon

Member
We all feel you on this, I'm sure. We have had tanks in the house for a long time but only in the last couple years when I started taking this hobby seriously did I start taking real good care of my tanks and diving deeper into the hobby. My parents didn't question my cleaning regimen until last week... I had to change my baby jaguar cichlid tank a little more frequently as he grows. At the same time my brother has been even more irresponsible than usual, not very communicative with our parents, and my dad was pretty flustered about it all... so he took it out on me. Nothing has changed... and it was pretty tilting until I figured it out on my own later why he had such an outburst.

Not to mention when I went on a trip recently I then realized how difficult it was to leave the care if my tanks to my family. I left a detailed schedule of everything and then left in big letters at the end "if this is too difficul5 to follow then please feed the frozen blood worms (1-2 cube for which tanks) every other day". I had some high nitrates and an algae outbreak when I came home so it's taken me a while to get it under control. I still have some issues with my pennywort.
 

Fish_Tails

Member
TeamRandrus said:
Ugh that’s so heartbreaking! I don’t get people like that- the fish are lives- a life is a life. We need to do everything we can to give them a wonderful home!! I hope she listens eventually
Me too! I actually got back into the hobby bc of her.

After seeing her betta's **** poor set up I went home and started a five gallon to show her the extent to which she could improve quality of life.

Which is petty and condescending of me, but whatever lol.

Two montha later Ive got my cycled tank and betta, his name was Izzy. My friend comes over stares at my tank for a few minutes and says "wow yours is really active" and I point out it's bc he has room and isn't stressed.

No response from her.
 

danhutchins

Member
My wife is always commenting on how much I mess with my tanks. It's something that I think a lot of people find pointless unless they know how to keep them from dieing. I have even tried to educate her a little bit but she just tells me it doesn't interest her. I have learned to ignore most of what she says because I know it's just because she doesn't understand it and has no interest in learning.
 

Logan.t.Foster

Member
danhutchins said:
My wife is always commenting on how much I mess with my tanks. It's something that I think a lot of people find pointless unless they know how to keep them from dieing. I have even tried to educate her a little bit but she just tells me it doesn't interest her. I have learned to ignore most of what she says because I know it's just because she doesn't understand it and has no interest in learning.
That stinks.

YATT said:
Went to a friends house. His son has a goldfish and koi. I went to look as he said his water was cloudy. Holy “shnike” I said. I said I can help. He was like why. They are 39 cents.
Guess it is just me.....

*feels pain*
 

danhutchins

Member
Logan.t.Foster said:
That stinks.
Well, it could be worse and she doesn't want me to have them at all.
 

Logan.t.Foster

Member
danhutchins said:
Well, it could be worse and she doesn't want me to have them at all.
I guess that's life.
 

Awaken_Riceball_

Member
My mom did tell me once, "Your fish looks better than you." *Cough* No Shave November. That implies, I do my utmost best to keep my living furniture alive and well by overdoing fish care lol
 

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