Another Uncycled Tank Thread...

Hey everyone. I'm gonna give a little background so that hopefully, I can get some support here.

I've never had a fish tank or lived in a home with a tank. However my husband has kept fish for many years before we married and he considers himself "very experienced." He's been begging me for an aquarium for years and I've always said no. Between the kids, the reptile, the cats, the ferals, the dog. Seriously I can't handle anymore.

But here we are. After much arguing and after me reading this site and doing lots of research for the past year I finally gave up the fight and stopped dismissing the idea of adding an aquarium to the home. The issue is that inhis many years of experience he's never heard of cycling, nitrogen cycle, drip loops, check valves.... Nothing that creates a healthy situation for the fish or the home.... And I seriously can't keep fighting about this.

We have a 35 gallon tank, running a fluval 50. He decided to put two tiny Oscars in this tank (promising to get a bigger tank for Christmas). He added the fish 24 hours after setting up the brand new tank. Against my wishes. I made him go out and get ammonia and Nitrite testers. He came back with pH and nitrate testers. I'm concerned about these fish.

Can anyone give me any arguments against doing water changes? He says he has never done them so soon and the fish are fine. He says that if I change the water id be stressing the fish and creating more issues. Has anyone ever thrown Oscars in a new tank and just let them fend for themselves? After everything I've read, it seems so cruel but it is his hobby.... And interfering will destroy our relationship. But I can't just let fish suffer.

Any advice on finding a safe middle ground where hopefully I can spare these Oscars the suffering without completely tanking over the tank and doing things "my way" even though my way is the right way. I did buy some prime and he didn't have an issue with adding it to the tank because the guy at LFS said it was a good idea. Someone help. Thanks in advance.

 

If it were me I'd do two things:

1. Print out a simplified version of the nitrogen cycle and tell him he needs to read it.

2. Get a liquid testing kit, test the water and show him the results. Show him how they relate to what you've given him to read.

 

Tell him or give him all the info needed to properly take care of a tank. If he decides to take care of the fish in his own way. Then let him learn the lesson the hard way. While the fish may die or be stressed from lack of proper care. The results are bound to persuade your husband to properly research a healthy tank. It's not worth ruining your relationship over 2 fish, but in the end he will realize your right and in the future you will have a tank with happy fish. And who knows maybe by a stroke of luck your 2 fish will live healthy with the care your husband provides. Also, since you didn't cycle your tank first, did you add beneficial bacteria? TSS is a very good brand which will reduce ammonia, nitrite and add beneficial bacteria.

 

I agree completely with VioletSS

The main thing he needs to be aware of is even though his methods may have "worked"(the fish didn't die) in the past does not mean it was the best quality of life for the fish. If he truly cares about the fish and doesn't just want something pretty to look at then he would invest more time into learning the best methods to care for them. Many things have changed in the last 10-20 years in the aquarium hobby thanks to the advancement of technology and the use of the internet to spread knowledge. We now know how harmful ammonia and nitrites are to them and we've adopted methods (like changing the water and ammonia binding chemicals) to counteract this to keep our little friends as safe as possible. It all comes down to awareness and knowledge. Until you can get him to learn and understand the nitrogen cycle and how toxic/harmful ammonia and nitrites are then you will be fighting an uphill battle with him.

Also wanted to add, for the sake of your relationship, I would not do anything to the tank behind his back. You will most definitely loose his trust.

 

He better embrace the idea of water changes with oscars. They are very messy eaters. My only argument against large water changes are if your water source has a lot of ammonia in it. That is not a rare thing in parts of the country. Fish don't need a big dose of ammonia from a large WC on a constant basis. More frequent smaller change makes more sense in some places. Some may disagree but the dilution math makes sense to me. Anyway, I'd start with a gravel vacuum. Clean up the tanks floor and get a 5G bucket of the nastiest water out of there at the same time. It's truly necessary for healthy water with oscars. A couple times a week and get the rest of the water testing equipment you need. He'll soon see WCs are needed with real water data and not just other's opinions. Good luck.

 

I will definitely pick up the proper test kits today and give him the information (again). I tried to use the secondhand smoke analogy to help him understand how the ammonia may not kill the fish but it can cause long term damage and shorten lifespan. He kind of understood that. A little. He's surely the "I want something pretty to look at type" and I'm more practical. So we usually find a healthy balance in all other areas. This one is a tough one to find a balance but I'm hoping we can work through it.

 

You are a good wife.

 

You'll talk him into it after you force him to get educated. And the gravel siphon vacuums I mentioned are not expensive. I don't think it is too outrageous to state pulling a couple gallons off the bottom will remove more toxins than 10 gallons off the top. Oscars will trash the gravel/sand.

 

I actually recently went through the same thing. My girlfriend had a Betta in a tiny .5 gallon cube when I first met her. It took me many months to convince her that he needed a larger tank, so one day she came home with a 1.5g even though I said minimum 2.5g... It was a step in the right direction at least and the little guy still lived almost 4 years. Now that I've got my own betta, she's actually gotten somewhat jealous and thinks I'm crazy with how I treat mine compared to hers. I really spoil him and she thinks I'm "obsessed" and constantly asking me why I didn't act this way towards hers. My answer was simply that her betta was her responsibility and when I did give her advice it often led to disagreements and arguing about what's right or wrong and it just wasn't worth it to me to affect our relationship.

So, no need to argue or anything over it and hopefully, the more he learns and becomes aware of what's truly right for their environment, the more he'll agree with you. Sometimes it's just hard to teach an old dog new tricks... It can definitely be done though! Good luck to you both and hopefully it will become something to bond over instead of disagree over.

 

You are a good wife.

Thank you very much. Sometimes with the arguing, I have my doubts.

I actually recently went through the same thing. My girlfriend had a Betta in a tiny .5 gallon cube when I first met her. It took me many months to convince her that he needed a larger tank, so one day she came home with a 1.5g even though I said minimum 2.5g... It was a step in the right direction at least and the little guy still lived almost 4 years. Now that I've got my own betta, she's actually gotten somewhat jealous and thinks I'm crazy with how I treat mine compared to hers. I really spoil him and she thinks I'm "obsessed" and constantly asking me why I didn't act this way towards hers. My answer was simply that her betta was her responsibility and when I did give her advice it often led to disagreements and arguing about what's right or wrong and it just wasn't worth it to me to affect our relationship.

So, no need to argue or anything over it and hopefully, the more he learns and becomes aware of what's truly right for their environment, the more he'll agree with you. Sometimes it's just hard to teach an old dog new tricks... It can definitely be done though! Good luck to you both and hopefully it will become something to bond over instead of disagree over.

I'm also the type to get obsessed and devote myself to giving the most "extra" care to the little creatures. With fish, I imagine it's more difficult because they don't cry or meow when they are in discomfort. And they can't just swim over to another end of the lake where there's better quality water. It's our responsibility to create a safe environment.

 

Men...

 

Agree with the comment that while fish may survive a nitrogen cycling setup, and lack of frequent water changes, it's still good to take proper care of them. You could make the comparison of how some people take care of their pet birds, cats, dogs, etc. There are certainly some that give their beloved pets many good life conditions, and others that you just feel so bad for the animal when you see it. The fish's living conditions and maintenance of their aquarium is a similar thing.

 

Update: I ran out and got the API ammonia test kit for fresh/saltwater. Got home, opened it. It's missing the test tube and the freshwater color card. Ughh. I can't make it back to the pet store today to exchange it. I did the test using another new test tube I have and compared it to the saltwater card. It matches the second color (.25ppm) perfectly. But does anyone know how this converts to freshwater? Is anyone with the same kit able to compare their cards and guess what this means. It'll just be for today. I'm going back tomorrow.

 

I think the ammonia readings are the same, if anything the salt readings are smaller. Don't know a good way to put it. Like a salt reading may be .25 and the same color fresh is .125.

It's great that you are trying! Welcome to a very addictive hobby!!! But don't let it come between you either.

 

I figured I'd post an update here. Just to let everyone know how this is going. The smallest Oscar fish was laying at the bottom of the tank for about 24 hours. Not eating. Not swimming. This morning he decided to add another air line tube in (after I suggested he change the water.) By the middle of the day she was laying flat on her side. Called the husband at work. He told me he'd deal with it later. By the time he got home, little Oscar wouldn't respond and when he touched her she just barely swam and kind of flopped like a flounder. I don't know what is going on here. But of course according to my husband it's a "bad fish" he bought. Surprising, he's actually starting to do a water change as I type this. I've only been suggesting it for a week. Live and learn I guess. Any idea what's causing this Oscar to flop around and kind of swim head down in the gravel?

Here's a pic

 

I figured I'd post an update here. Just to let everyone know how this is going. The smallest Oscar fish was laying at the bottom of the tank for about 24 hours. Not eating. Not swimming. This morning he decided to add another air line tube in (after I suggested he change the water.) By the middle of the day she was laying flat on her side. Called the husband at work. He told me he'd deal with it later. By the time he got home, little Oscar wouldn't respond and when he touched her she just barely swam and kind of flopped like a flounder. I don't know what is going on here. But of course according to my husband it's a "bad fish" he bought. Surprising, he's actually starting to do a water change as I type this. I've only been suggesting it for a week. Live and learn I guess. Any idea what's causing this Oscar to flop around and kind of swim head down in the gravel?

Looks like a classic case of "new tank syndrome". Meaning bad water quality. Most likely ammonia poisoning.

This is the whole reason most of us recommend cycling the tank before adding fish.

 

Without all the water testing numbers it's hard to say. The fish was subjected to the harshness of a cycle. There is often a casualty rate when you do that.

 

This is terrible. Poor fish. Thank you all for your advice. I'll be starting my own aquarium eventually. So I'm sure I'll be back for advice on cycling properly.

 

This is terrible. Poor fish. Thank you all for your advice. I'll be starting my own aquarium eventually. So I'm sure I'll be back for advice on cycling properly.

Don't get too down. After all, his tank is his responsibility. Hopefully he'll want to learn more about caring for it.

Looking forward to your tank and any questions you may have!

 

Don't get too down. After all, his tank is his responsibility. Hopefully he'll want to learn more about caring for it.

Looking forward to your tank and any questions you may have!

Thank you. The little fish is finally out of her misery. A lesson learned all around. I got attached to the little thing. I'm sure this happens all the time. I'm used to seeing cats die, birds die, dogs... First fish I've ever watched die.