a mother's pride

paswed
  • #1
You are so right autism is more than likely acompany with other issue .I have never heard of a whole family having it. God bless your mom. I have four other kids and only the one has it thank god, it was so hard getting him help, he did not start talking till he was five years old and could not feed his self till around then either, he only slept around 3 hours out of 24, one time I was driving down the road and he open the door his brother had to hold him by his diaper so he went fall out on the highway, he copies every thing he see good and bad we have to really watch what he see. by the time we paid for all of his speech and occupational therapy, plus daily living classes and other stuff it cost around 40,000 this was about 13 years ago. It was money well spent he is in a normal class room and no one know he has it unless they know what signs they are looking for. He is very gifted in music and loves to read and write stories. In fact I think I will post the story it is going to be in the paper.







Autism has labeled me my whole life. Autism made world belittle me but lets not get to down because autism did affect me but it does not define me. It just confines me in my mind a P.O.D. - a Prisoner of my disease- because only thing I heard from 1st grade – 6th grade was belittling teachers rather than help me, we get to that later, all the teacher that over looked didn’t get mentioned. The few teachers that weren’t sty in my eye, thanks for the help. They gave me a virus called low self esteem. Low self esteem mixed with autism made me feel like waste of world.

Now I was faceless swagger list, trapped farther in my cage who momma come to the rescues when no one else would but child didn’t cry when he enter <> only a thumb in baby mouth to soften the pain. So God didn’t give me any sympathy but he didn’t he know I was a P.O.D., we couldn’t shed tears. I couldn’t tell them either until they seen a boy sit in a desk from 7 to 3:30 but wasn’t learn anything at all. You think that word to cruel but you don’t know how it feels to sit in a classroom trying to learn but you can’t learn, now that make you feel like feces. Now they study me like animal, they watch every move like an animal. They huddle up and analyze me. In the end they slap me with a label that says autism on my back. They just identified the problem; they weren’t trying to help me. They said “put him in the class that don’t learn nothing”. My momma replied “put him in the class that learns stuff”, no offense to people in class that don’t learn anything but baby’s going to be president”. See momma was lawyer in the court of diseased, I was still trapped my cages but my eyes were my TV. I applauds from my cage when momma used to argue for me and when my brother used to look out for me. Men miss them days when they used look out for me. They didn’t care for me so didn’t struggle so agree to my momma demand. I wander through first through grades until Ms. Randolph came. At first she couldn’t reach me, she was only tapping to me but different taps makes a language and through that language. She shows me beyond the cage but she didn’t unlock the door. My fourth grade teacher gave me the key. It Unlock the cage but what would I do with my new found voice? What turn will I make in my life but instead of even use it; I stay inside the cage and perfect my art that my fifth grade teacher gave me. It was no longer a belittling entrapment but a home that brought me clarity for moments. I didn’t get enjoy for long thou middle school came and I was kick off the top of the mountain. In middle school thou it was different but the same thing women or men follow me around guide me from trouble. See being Antics maid everybody shields from the truth and dangers. Even thou it help me again also hurt me because in high school they didn’t care if you was blue , purple or slow, dumb either your going to pass or not. See I had man help me the whole way. I hated it but facts our facts and I have got usage to it now. So I didn’t know what pit fall to watch out for but you know what I am glad that it happens because the cripple get wheelchair and someone to push it. I am not crippled, so I need to learn how to walk on my own two feet. High school was a circus and I watch all the attraction. See all freshman year school was a babysitter to me. I didn’t even work or even play sports. See that man on side of me no my conches was not there. It was like going into battle wit no shield but I didn’t want one. My home was far away like a cage animal let free run to my kind and I forgot the old life like zoo was only a dream. I took summer school and barely passed but the tough love wasn’t over. I volunteer my summer to work for shoe money and again was left alone but this time I want to prove myself ready to be left alone. It was hard with my granddaddy, he except perfect cleaning. It was amazing how examine ever little thing spot the smallest mistake. See get money was not important to me. I want became reliably and perfection. Were I didn’t have to relay on a men, I Just could get the job done. I bought my own school clothe and school shoe. I thought I was the man but old habit just don’t disappear they just lurk in the back of your mind, No there waiting for you to slip back into your old ways. School comes back around and so does my demon. See when think ready your, your not ready it when don’t say it when your ready. Who knew a chubby white English teacher would save me. See to me she wasn’t an English teacher or chubby. She was Mr. MiyagI or wise men of a tribe. See told me to write a peace. Not knowing that it would mirage Thomas and chunk together to make Thomas Baltimore Reynolds the man. See to make this writing peace. I would have to travel back to the cage. It was colluder with ideas but still organize. I met Thomas the calm opinionated deep thought save the world. He gave my first classic piece mommas boy. I begin to stay in the library, read his books and write my own books but didn’t want to be trap in the cage. So just like Ms. Randolph I show him the beyond and that when my mind became one and finally I was really free to roam it. O yeah call me vein but knew had gift so had to share it. So I ran to the wise women. I except good job you should go college for it but what I got. Thomas you should do this and that. Hoonah someone beside my mother care. She begin in courage me not like other adult that seen as antics just a civilian never warrior. She treats me as an equal person and prodigy. Everything I gave her, bad or good she read it and gave me ways to improve it. School no longer a dreaded it place now development and learning. See she hone my skill and gave person that I could talk about writing and not be to busy or just don’t care. She was a true teacher and friend so dedicate this peace to all the teacher and people that have help me as person and a dreamer. See as antics kid, the world put you behind the 8-ball only select few us get chance to get from behind it. Get it, so don’t be like others dropout and not do <anything> with there life because were not like other were different like the x-men but best like the x-men and we represent the proud the few the antic.
thomas reynolds

I know his grammar is not prefect but this is his writing style
 
ShaynaB
  • #2
What a wonderful story! Your son is a very intelligent boy. You must be very proud of him.
 
paswed
  • Thread Starter
  • #3
yes I am made me cry he did not want anyone to know he wrote it but the teacher email it to me becasue she said I need to know how he felt I am so thankful to her and I did not tell him I have seen it
 
capekate
  • #4
Hello Paswed
OMG..... I did cry too. You should be so proud of your son. I know that is only a small sentence.. in expressing the accomplishment that he has shown in his writing. To get into the mind of autism... and he allowed us all in, is amazing and a miracle. Thank you so much for sharing his words with us.
My son at one time worked with autistic kids in the high school. One such teenager he worked with for years, in and out of school. I got to know him since he came to our home a lot. I hope to God that some day they will develop a vaccine to save these kids. I don't think that people really realize just how many autistic children are born every day.
You should be proud of yourself.. for all that you have done for him. I honor you the mother... for what you have given up... and for what you stand for.. and for your strength and courage never to give up on him. He is blessed.. and so are you.

~ kate
 
sirdarksol
  • #5
Paswed, my brother is the only one for whom autism has had a huge impact. The others in the family show very minor signs such as minor OCD, lining things up, and mild sensory defensiveness. In me, the worst is the SD, which leaves me at the point that there are certain sounds that I cannot stand. I've had to get up and leave the room because someone was eating potato chips.

And I love the piece of writing. My parents have a book written by an autistic man. I still need to read that.
Also, have you ever seen "Autism is a World?" It should be available at your library, it was produced free for all public libraries, and is a story about a severely autistic woman who is a student in college. This is a person who, as a child, was incapable of communicating at all.
 
sirdarksol
  • #6
Something to think about with autism is that a large number (perhaps a greater percentage than among non-autistic folks) are highly intelligent, even genius. The problem is almost like they have a filter between them and the rest of the world. This filter changes everything that passes through it, meaning that communication becomes difficult, or even impossible.
Anyway, the point I am getting at is that, by "curing" autism, something may actually be taken a way from a person.
 
Lucy
  • #7
Beautiful, thank you for sharing your son's letter with us.
 
capekate
  • #8
Something to think about with autism is that a large number (perhaps a greater percentage than among non-autistic folks) are highly intelligent, even genius. The problem is almost like they have a filter between them and the rest of the world. This filter changes everything that passes through it, meaning that communication becomes difficult, or even impossible.
Anyway, the point I am getting at is that, by "curing" autism, something may actually be taken a way from a person.
HI Sirdarksol
even tho I understand where you are coming from, if you were around these kids a lot and saw what they and their families go through and how hard it is for these kids to interact and try to have a normal life, maybe you can understand that a 'cure' for autism would be a blessing and I'm sure a prayer on these parents lips at night. I cannot honestly speak for the families or parents of these children, tho gifted I believe they are. taking away something from them to gain a happy normal life I'm sure I know what they would prefer.
Tho this is not what this post is about, nor is it a discussion on whether a cure would be best or not ..advantages and disadvantages to a normal life through discovery of a vaccine or finding the cause of autism.
This is one womens post about the accomplishments of her son and how he broke through his 'cell' in his mind and made contact to a point of being able to explain what it is he is going through.. and communicating it very well..
~ kate
 
sirdarksol
  • #9
You must have missed my post in the other thread. I most definitely have been around people like this. My brother is autistic, and because of this, I have met dozens of autistic people over the years.
 
paswed
  • Thread Starter
  • #10
I would not trade a so called normal child for him in a million years he has taught me so much about life I could not begin to explain to see him every day get up and fight the good fight to learn and be understood is amazing
 
capekate
  • #11
You must have missed my post in the other thread. I most definitely have been around people like this. My brother is autistic, and because of this, I have met dozens of autistic people over the years.
Hello Sirdarksol
No I haven't read another thread where you mentioned this and had no idea. Well then you have plenty of experience in this department and well educated on the subject.
It still does not take away from what I expressed to paswed, or my response on a cure.. if you want to call it that.As a mother to healthy children.. I can only imagine or believe that a mother who's child is autistic would much rather prefer her child not to be so. I have talked with mothers who are so drained from exhustion of taking care and worrying over their autistic child and what they say, is they wish their children could lead a normal life. They wish their children would be able to know 'love' and accept their mothers arms around them. How badly they want to be able to 'reach' them somehow..
Its all so very sad..
But I am not going to get into a debate over this as this is not what Paswed had in mind when she started this thread. And I do not want to take away from her message or even hijack this thread to open another discussion. It is something for another thread, in hot topics or anywhere else.
I apologies ahead of time to Paswed, if anything I may have wrote was offensive to her.
~ kate
 
chickadee
  • #12
Thank you for sharing this. It is wonderful and we all need this brought to our attention. Your child is wonderful and you are too.

Rose
 
paswed
  • Thread Starter
  • #13
Hello Sirdarksol
No I haven't read another thread where you mentioned this and had no idea. Well then you have plenty of experience in this department and well educated on the subject.
It still does not take away from what I expressed to paswed, or my response on a cure.. if you want to call it that.As a mother to healthy children.. I can only imagine or believe that a mother who's child is autistic would much rather prefer her child not to be so. I have talked with mothers who are so drained from exhustion of taking care and worrying over their autistic child and what they say, is they wish their children could lead a normal life. They wish their children would be able to know 'love' and accept their mothers arms around them. How badly they want to be able to 'reach' them somehow..
Its all so very sad..
But I am not going to get into a debate over this as this is not what Paswed had in mind when she started this thread. And I do not want to take away from her message or even hijack this thread to open another discussion. It is something for another thread, in hot topics or anywhere else.
I apologies ahead of time to Paswed, if anything I may have wrote was offensive to her.
~ kate

You did not offend me I use to be one of those parents but now I just take it one day at a time and love him the way that he is. when he was younger he was a hand full and I was so tired all the time cause I have four other kids who all are a year apart, so you know what you are talking about but as he gets older and his brothers help him, it is much easier on all of us to just roll with the punches, to be honest he acts better than some adults who don’t have a thing wrong with them at times. if they find a cure and some young mom does not have to go through this then god bless them cause it was not easy I was just 19 years old when I had him and me and my husband was not prepared for it at all
 
sirdarksol
  • #14
I'm sorry Kate. I thought you had been involved in the conversation that started in Cory's thread about theft. You weren't. Just an issue of "who was in which threads, when".

I moved all of the discussion regarding this story over here to clean up the threads a little bit and to keep from having that kind of issue in the future.

Very few family members of people with autism would take offense at the idea of a cure, so I don't think there was ever any concern there. I did not want to start a debate, I was just sharing a piece of information that a lot of people don't know. Many people think of my brother as little more than a child, and feel sorry for him. The funny thing is that he's probably happier than they are.

Thank you again, Paswed, for sharing this, and thank you for being understanding about the cursing edits. (If you want it to maintain the artistic integrity of the piece, feel free to fill in that first blank)
 
paswed
  • Thread Starter
  • #15
I'm sorry Kate. I thought you had been involved in the conversation that started in Cory's thread about theft. You weren't. Just an issue of "who was in which threads, when".

I moved all of the discussion regarding this story over here to clean up the threads a little bit and to keep from having that kind of issue in the future.

Very few family members of people with autism would take offense at the idea of a cure, so I don't think there was ever any concern there. I did not want to start a debate, I was just sharing a piece of information that a lot of people don't know. Many people think of my brother as little more than a child, and feel sorry for him. The funny thing is that he's probably happier than they are.

Thank you again, Paswed, for sharing this, and thank you for being understanding about the cursing edits. (If you want it to maintain the artistic integrity of the piece, feel free to fill in that first blank)

I think it is ok the way it is. it still let people know and understand how he feels and that sometimes people just need someone to take the time to be their vocie or help them along
 

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