iloveengl

I was just wondering how long it took you all to stop questioning every single flip, turn, dash, lunge, nip, chase, (and in the case of my ADF) float, etc. as a sign that your fish/amphib is about die?

So far it seems like I spend as much, and sometimes much more, time worrying about them then I do enjoying them. And then if one passes away inexplicably (RIP Marty), it becomes ten times worse. My husband doesn't even like the fish anymore because it just stresses him out worrying about them.

I'm just wondering if this feeling goes away? How long does it take? I'm seriously considering turning my 55 gallon into a brackish underwater terrarium.

gmen4life

well once you feel that your tank or tanks are perfectly stable test your water often that should give you peace of mind

bolivianbaby

IME, once you get to know the individual fish and their personality, then things are definitely less stressful.

Also, after some time passes where you haven't lost a fish, a lot of the "oh, no, is something wrong?" goes away.

Hope this helps

mathas

To be honest, I never really feel that way. I start with the healthiest stock I can find, and I trust myself to keep the water parameters in check, so I see very little reason to stress myself out unless I notice a specific sign of illness. When I introduce a new fish, I do tend to monitor the tank a little more closely for a day or two, but once the fish is acclimated and starts behaving like I would expect, fishkeeping turns back into the relaxing hobby I want it to be.

A lot of my attitude comes from having kept tanks for years, accepting the fact that occasionally fish do die without any visible signs, and realizing that if/when that does happen, it doesn't necessarily mean you did anything wrong.

Borisbbadd

Over time, when you get used to how your fish act, it will get alot easier.

Also, as mathas stated above, you will sometimes loose a fish for no apparent reason. This does not mean you are doing anything wrong, or that you have an emergancy situation in your tank.

aquarist48

Good afternoon Ilovee. I know how you and your husband feel. It took me a long time to find fish that I could take care of with any success. I had no luck with small fish, I tried Guppies, Platties, Mollies and then some, I lost 15 Discus, many gold fish, so I gave up. I grabbed my bamboo poll and went fishing off my dock. I figured if I couldn't keep tropical fish alive then I'd try my creek fish. I kept Bream, Red Breasts, Cat fish, Bass for several years until they got so large I had to return them back to the creek. I raised many fry from the Bream and Red Breast and added them to the creek as well.

I didn't want to give up the hobby (too much invested) and I just happened to see Bloody Parrots at my Local Fish Store (LFS). I just loved them and had to have them. Now, most all of my fish I've had for 5 to 8 years. The Greater Fish Powers that be are with me I guess. Too, I take wonderful care of my finned friends. They eat before I do and so do the rest of my critters. I knew what great care the Discus needed but no matter what I did I could not keep them alive. So when I bought the Bloody Parrots I wanted to do as much for them as I did for the Discus and it worked. Too, I think it takes a while to find fish that can survive in the tap water that we have to offer. ( I have well water and not city water).

When you're buying smaller fish, you never really know just how old they are. I think that was one of my problems was buying old fish as far as Guppies, Platties and Mollies were concerned. They just have too short a life span for what I'm looking for in the hobby. So I decided to get fish that have a longer life span and buy them as juveniles. Again, it worked.

I knew a little bit about cycling but not enough. I knew I should never clean my filter media and that water changes had to be done and that was it. I was always told to buy 1 fish and leave it in the tank for 6 weeks to start the bacteria colonies and nothing more. Didn't exactly know why I was doing all of this.

I found Fish Lore this year and it's been so much help, helping me to understand why I do what I do for my fish and it all makes sense now. Too, it's been my experience that the larger tanks are easier to care for and maintain than smaller ones. Not that it can't be done of course.

I guess what I'm trying to say is "hang in there". Do what you know is right for your fish. If you're doing everything right and still no luck then try different types of fish. Even though we know a lot more theses days about the hobby sometimes it's still trial and error. (and I've made my share of errors trust me). I tell friends and neighbors that see my tanks, (and I'm not directing this towards you by any means) If you aren't willing to truly make it a hobby, take the good and bad, be prepared to spend some $ and spend time with the fish, it will never work.

My apologies for the book above. Maybe it will help you a bit.
Best of luck,
Ken

MizRamzi

When one finally accepts that no matter all the good we do, there will be life as well as death. We can only control so much of their lives. The rest is up to that fishey God in the sky.

Lucy

Great answers above. It's natural to worry about our fin babies especially if there seems to be something wrong.
We just do the best we can and remember sometimes no matter what we do, they get sick or pass on.

Like Miz said, if we can acccept that, it gets better.

heather84

LOL for the first 2 months id see my fish do something wierd and id be online in 2 seconds looking it up as a symptom!! I thought my fish had ICH or parasites atleast a dozen times lol (they have never had anything)

MizRamzi

except for them dumb lil air bubbles

iloveengl

Thanks everyone. I guess I was just getting myself bummed out because of losing little Marty after all his struggle and getting my hopes dashed when he suddenly didn't make it. It helps to know that others worried too at first (lol heather84 - exactly!!) or to remember that some things are out of our control (I'm really bad at that one) and that maybe certain fish just aren't for me. I don't want to give up this hobby because I have had a lot of fun getting to know and love my fishies and getting to know you all, too. Thanks again for the support.

Butterfly

That's what we're here for soon you'll be giving reassurance to a person feeling the same way
carol

heather84

lol well as i said above i did that alot.......and again tonight i did that, i looked in our tank and found...........babies! and in the process of saving them before they got eaten i kept going omg i hope the mother doesnt die...omg omg lol.....thinking shes being stressed giving birth! crazy

then id scream NOOOOOOOO everytime a baby was ate, im terrible at "letting nature take its course"

FishMagnet

"When does it get less stressfull?"

I'll insert some humor in bad taste here and say when you have lost so many fish that you've become numb to it.

Really though, I think its always stressfull when your trying to the best of your abilities and knowledge and things just seem to slip away from you.

For me the stress subsides when I keep up on all my husbandry and am keeping a proper eye on the fish themselves.

Red1313

My personal theory is stress when something is wrong. But's hard after a summer of fish deaths for me. I keep watching my babies with an eagle eye, but I know that I'm slowly coming out of it, since I'm getting the horrible urge to go betta shopping again.