haedra

The last month has taken a toll on me. I am emotionally exhausted.

After a very long battle, I lost Mephisto. He just withered away. Near the end, he was so thin I could see the outline of his skull. I tried everything to help him, with diet and even medication when I felt I had no other choice. But I lost him.

On top of that, as mentioned in another thread my fairly new computer (five months old) already fried a hard drive, out of the blue and unexpected. And I was told that it was SO dead that they were unable to even use it as a slave on another computer..meaning I lost a whole lot of pictures and other files.

And at the end of the month we are going to visit my fiance's family (they are hours away), which should be a fun time except that every time I see his parents I know in the back of my head that they just don't think I'm good enough for their son. So that will be very stressful for me.

I just feel so worn out and sad. I've always had anxiety problems, and times like this make me spend all day with my heart pounding.

I'm not trying to bring anyone down. I just wanted to complain a little.

SWilkins

Sorry for you loss of fish and computer. Been there done that on both of those and it is never easy.

As far as the fiance's family....if you and he are happy then that is all that matters. My mom and dad still do not think my hubby is right for me but we have been together for 17 years now and are very happy.

Go sit by your favorite tank and take a deep breath and calm your nerves. Anxiety is a pain I hate it but my tanks/fish usually help me a lot.

Beth1965

This is old time advice but it might help, it helps me sometimes: Get outside and enjoy the spring there in PA, there must be some great looking flowers out about now. Get out and take a big breath of fresh air.
Im sorry you feel so crummy and very sorry about Mephisto.
I sincerely hope you feel better.
Beth

prairielilly

aww, haedra...that's really sad about Mephisto. I'm very sorry you lost him. Sometimes we just can't save them, but he was well cared for and loved for the time you had him.

So far as computer: yeah that really stinks. I finally got an external drive a while back and started backing everything up. (At least I do when I remember...) Is your computer still under warranty?

Like was said, if you and your fiancee are happy that's really all that matters. Some people will never be pleased no matter what, no matter how hard we try.

I'd second the idea of going for a long walk. Nature always calms me, even if it's just sunshine on my face in the middle of the city, or hearing a bird sing.

Keep smiling!

Lucy

I'm really sorry you lost Mephisto.
One top of that, your computer and your upcoming visit it sure has been a lot to deal with.

It may not feel like it now, but things will get better.

haedra

Thanks.

His parents don't ever treat me badly. It's just how they ask certain questions about me when they talk to him on the phone. It's annoying as , and just stressful to be around them. I'm a rather blunt and honest person, so it is hard dealing with people being nice then talking behind my back.

As far as the computer, I guess at least I was backing things up sometimes; just was bad timing this time. I do it every two weeks or so; but it just so happened that the morning it didn't boot up was the morning I was going to backup my files.

It was hard to lose Mephisto, but at least I feel I tried everything I could. Just like before.. I really hate not ever knowing conclusively what the issue was. That is hardest for me.

I really should get out of here for awhile. I live rather close to Hawk Mountain and Nolde forest, and both are beautiful places. Hawk Mountain especially is an interesting place. It is featured as one of the places in the Berks County ghost story books by Charles J Adams. Maybe not as relaxing, but interesting!