clinton1621

Whats up with the rudeness on here? I've noticed a lot of it and so have a few other new members. It seems like a few of the members who have been around for a long time have this chip on their shoulder and need to prove that they know it all and that all the new people with questions must be morons. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isnt asking questions and learning about fish and fishkeeping what this website is all about? I mean the name of this website is Fishlore.com Tropical Aquarium Information... not Heydontaskstupidquestionsandbecrueltoanimals.com

I personally dont think it would be all that difficult to refrain from sounding like you are belittling someone when you give them advice or answering a question.

For example, this is the rude way....

OMG you have a betta in a 1g bowl, you are killing your fish and that is just cruel and horrible, dont you know anything about the nitrogen cycle or how to take care of a betta?

Now for the nice and also more adult way....

Hi there, I see that you are having a lot of problems with your betta. Did you know that keeping them in a bowl is hard on them and can cause them to get stressed and sick more often? You should look up some threads on here about betta care and what size tanks and water parameters they should have to be healthy. Also, I see you dont understand the nitrogen cycle... this link will help you out and save you a lot of headaches, money, and sick fish.... I hope this information helps you and your fish, and also feel free to ask any other questions you may have =)

(insert nitrogen cycle thread here)


Now, how much harder would that really be to do? It keeps the same issues in there, and it doesnt make the person who started the thread feel like they are some horrible moron who shouldnt even have fish.

Edit: And on the being nice note, I think we all know the saying... If you cant say something nice, dont say anything at all.

I know I will get tons of hate posts for this, but I feel it needed to be said

Best Regards, Clinton

peacemaker92

I agree with you. I sometimes get replies from post or see other members replying questions with rude answers. Mostly from members who have more experience.

Lucy

Thanks for the reminder, Clinton.

Steve420

Being rather new to Fishlore, here is my personal opinion (remember this is just my )

I think that it is coming from both sides, both the people posting the questions and the people responding.

I think that people are posting questions and essentially, just not getting the answers that they want to hear. So they keep bumping their thread, asking for more opinions (even when they get the same responses) and I think that frustrates the more experienced members.

I also think that responses to posts are getting "short" and possibly rude, due to the asking of the same questions over and over instead of just searching the forum. Maybe people are just tired of giving the same old "Nitrogen Cycle" speech etc..

I think we all also need to remember that ultimately we are all here for the same reasons.

Shawnie

I agree 100%

Allie

I wouldn't say it was rudeness...more like people getting annoyed or misunderstanding what people are saying.
What I find annoying is people who ask for advice, don't listen> Then post again asking the same question, saying they have problems. I would expect people to get annoyed with me if I kept doing the same thing.
Some questions get asked too many times. Can a Betta have tank mates? How many times do we need to answer that? The search up at the top can find you a lot more info than asking repetitive questions.
Every question you can think of in fish keeping has been asking 100 times over and has to be on the site somewhere.
I am the type of person who researches first then asks questions if I can't find the answer. Google: what tank mates can a betta have? 100 answers will pop up. Any question you have someone in google world has had it asked and answered.
Maybe each section should have Frequent Q&As. Just an idea.

Fishies-for-me

I agree with Allie about researching things first and then posting a ? if you can't find it. On the other hand if I see a ? that is being asked just to get a response from people...( no I don't like that answer that has been given to me by 27 experienced fish keepers cuz it isn't the one I am looking for can anyone give me a better one) I just roll my eyes and don't answer.

Allie

The trolls who ask questions to set people off is very wrong. Those people have issues in general.
I just had a guy pick a huge fight with me on a local forum...b/c I dared to agree with someone that Monster fish, like a red tail catfish should be kept in the amazon. That the average fish keepers don't have big enough tanks to keep them for life. It was cruel to be so selfish to take in a fish you can't treat properly just b/c you think they are cool.
He pmed me a few times...weirdos out there.

Tom

One of the things I remember learning from my grade 7 teacher is; 'How did Einstein become so smart? Because he asked questions.' That is exactly what this site is about, but there is expert advise all over this forum, you just need to look for it. Most people are just too lazy to look for it and figure it is faster to start up a new thread to get their info. I appreciate how each case may seem different initially, but if you really think about it, they are pretty similar.
Tom

Lucy

dnftt

jen82

I understand there are some silly people out there asking questions over and over again because they dont like the answers their being given. But there are some genuine people out there that want to learn and I dont believe there people should just be told to go to google. This surely means we would lose the essence of community and friendship that I believe is unique to this forum. We were all newbies at one point in our lives.

Fishies-for-me

I agree there are many newbies asking what we would consider very easy questions...I try to answer these even if I think it has been asked before. At one point I had 6 or 7 goldies in a 20 gallon tank...kept them for about 15 yrs like that...I raised a baby jack dempsey ( saved from the toilet bowl express) to an adult in a 20 gallon and kept him for about 7 yrs till I lost him in a very hot summer move . I have made many mistakes and have learned from them over about 30-35 yrs of keeping fish. If I can keep someone else from making some of the mistakes I have made in the past then I am happy to do so. There has been some troll activity in the betta forum as of late and after so much I try to ignore it as answering those peeps just encourages them and keeps them posting. I also agree people should not just be told to google it as many times there is very conflicting info on google. Now mind you if I have steered someone in the direction they need to go for an answer I may tel them to google it for more info than I can give them.....hmmm am I rambling now??...lol

pepetj

I honestly believe there are good questions we haven't even started asking for. I get what Allie means, though.

Since I discovered the search function for fishlore.com I have saved you from lots of unnecessary postings.

Nevertheless, some answers do change with time drastically (e.g. healthy REDOX has switched sides recently, from + to close to neutral to - potential); others are just evolving subjects with never before asked questions (e.g. DIY projects for: lighting, CO2, filtering options).

And some questions are quite rare but somehow -even if not posted here before- someone recalls something (e.g. temps above 28C seem to trigger a sudden-like-death metabolic syndrome in Red-Salmon Rainbowfish) that ends up making my day in fishkeeping (saved 2 out of 7, installed a chiller for that FW tank).

I confess I might have sounded "rude" at least once with another newbie; it was not my intention, I openly apologized for it, but I never saw that fishlorian again, not that I bang myself for it, but I regret I didn't took my time to review the way I wrote what I was trying to say.

I also confess feeling hostility when someone answers what may look as annoying questions but that I interpret as just coming from someone who doesn't know better, as well when someone doesn't get the type of reply they want or were expecting for. At least at fishlore, these are isolated episodes and someone else ends up smoothing things up.

The thing I love about fishlore, is that we come from different walks of life, yet, this is an overall warmth forum, with experts and newbies learning from each other.

I kept fish since I was 7 until I was 23 years old (1972-1988). I came back after 20 years hiatus after joining fishlore in April 2008, my life was going through a tough moment. My know-how was outdated, obsolete, and I started from zero again. It was a bit scary, but fishlore helped me pull this one through.

I don't know how to post multiple "quotes", but I agree with the FAQ in sub-forums to be a good starting point.

Pepe
Santo Domingo

clinton1621

I do understand that sometimes you get people who want to ask the same question 50 times, or they want to start an argument about something.... but instead of posting something rude, you can always just ignore that person and go on your way... dont lower yourself down to their level.

Chief_waterchanger

I agree with Clinton.

There is not room for rude behavior here. We often discipline people that are continuously rude. It is just better to ignore and move on than to post just because "someone else will do it if I don't."

(I use smileys a lot in my posts, mainly, because I think that helps get my tone across a bit better than plain text.)

CindyJ

I've been a member for a little while now but am still pretty new but I must admit that I don't post a whole lot for fear of being chastised(?).

When I joined I had never been on a forum let alone be a member of one and I really didn't know how things worked so I probably did post some of the same old stuff.

I kept fish in bowls tanks off an on for many years and never once did anyone at any of those fish stores in any of the 2 states I lived in ever tell me about the nitrogen cycle. So even if you find those questions annoying thats no reason (excuse) to jump on someone because your tired of that question. I didn't know about it till I joined here.

And i'm also a member of a cat breeder web site and there have been some heated discussions and people don't realize how much credibility they loose when they are rude and fighting. All of the usefull information gets lost.

There are always nice ways of getting a point across and times when we should just hit the back button and not respond at all, but that is hard and we are all human. There are nice ways of telling people they are overstocked.

There have been times i've had questions and not asked them for fear of somebody being rude because they think I should know the answer.

I love this place and hope that nobody takes my comments personally as they are not directed at anyone spacific but just the opinion of someone still fairly new to the site.

Take care everyone!

FishFolk

I agree that we should all take time to phrase things nicely. The 2 examples are great.

I don't think one should ignore seemingly pointless questions. This is a forum, not an encyclopedia site. Yes one can search off site. Yes, one can search on-site. Yes, most questions boil down to the same thing, but people tend to believe their problem, question or thought is unique. That is okay, because their issue is actually unique. It is theirs, not mine or yours - so maybe the fellowship of the site is what they need to get through ick, or a tank start-up, or the death of a fish. I know I have discussed repeat topics with those I trusted - Thanks to all of you who have chatted with me

I still find it hard to locate the info I want via search. The first month I was on, I didn't know there was a search feature. Now that I do, I don't always find what I need. It is very helpful to have someone point me in the right direction. I appreciate a response that politely sends me to a relevant link.

And let's remember that we don't all learn the same way. Discussing an issue often gives the learner a way to comprehend the why's and what's.

Then there are those people who want to press a point. That's when folks engaged need to read and reread what they post. The typed word is often misread. One can use smilies and explanations in parenthesis (sorry, sounds rude, but I don't mean it that way) to add the tone to your message.

Of course if you are just too fed up with the topic, you can ignore it - but let's make sure we don't alienate any potential fishkeepers because we felt they should know the answer.

Lucy

Very well put FishFolk.