Drea

I am so sad. Today I attended a funeral for someone I worked with for many years. He was 44 yrs old, wife, 2 sons 10 and 14yrs.Lots of family. He took his own life last Thursday. My eyes hurt from crying so much at the funeral. It was beautiful. So many people attended, young fellas that were kids he coached for hockey, all with alot of tears. His name is Darren, and he's was a great guy. I will miss him, as will alot of others whos lives he touched with kindness, humor, dedication, and love. Sorry, I just had to express this at the moment, can't seem to sleep.

KittieKat

im soo sorry to hear that.. my friends father took his own life last year.. i understand how you feel.. im sure it will be tough to handle for awhile but im positive he'd want everyone to happy and to not worry about his disappearance from everyone's lives but to be excited that one day everyone will join him for eternity.. you'll see him again some day

Drea

Thanks, you're right I'll see him again, along with many others. It's just tough after they leave us, and by his own doing. You think you could be the one to have helped somehow.....

KittieKat

yeah.. that feeling never really goes a way but theres nothing you can really do now that its all done and over with.. it took me nearly the entire year to stop feeling guilty for not helping, even though there was nothing i could have done..

death is always a hard thing... and regardless of how many people pass away in your lifetime it near gets any easier..

armadillo

Hello Drea. I am so sorry you have lost a friend in that horrible way. I have lost someone very close to me to suicide too, and it's a really difficult grieving process. I wish you a lot of courage, and I hope the family will, after a while, find some way of getting up after this spirit breaking disaster.

I dealt with my feeling of guilt for not having done enough to avoid it with my firm belief in destiny and fate. You can't go against the current, sometimes. It's also robbing them off their dignity to physically try to stop them. Sometimes, things are so bad that you'd need to have them institutionalised, andI wasn't ready to do that.

Something else that helped me is that our (catholic) priest said a prayer mass in honour of that person, basically interceding to God to ask them to have mercy on that long-suffering person in the afterlife. It all depends on your beliefs, of course.

Chief_waterchanger

Drea, it is great of you to share a small glimmer of your friend's life with us. It is always a sad thing when a brilliant life is cut short, but you can take solace, no matter your beliefs, in the fact that he is no longer suffering.

We're here for ya, if you need to talk.

(You can PM me anytime if you need help.)

I think the best thing you can do after the loss of a friend is to live your life with an even brighter zest for life to honor those no longer here.

haji4

My Heart goes out to his family and I will pray for them all. You will be in my prayers as well. These are some tough days and trust and faith will get you through.

voiceless_kat

Drea, please accept my condolences for the loss of your friend. It is doubly tragic when death comes by one's own hand to such a young man with a family. It is natural that you would feel some guilt wondering if you could have intervened, but if someone tires of life's journey, for whatever their reason, it is inevitale they will find a way to go.

It is such an empty hole of sadness left for friends and family. Grieve for your friend, and know that there will be unending support for you here, should you feel the need.

Sending many hugs,

Val

Blub

nmwierman1977

I am so sorry Drea. I too lost a close friend of mine to suicide. I was in high school when it happened and so was he. I knew that he was going through some problems and I was trying to help him out, but it was hard because it was a long distance friendship. He was in Florida and I was in NY feeling helpless. So I completely understand how you are feeling. It's even harder to deal with when you know there is nothing you can do to help and you always have a guilty feeling left in your gut. I know I did for a very long time. I still think of him and pray for him to this day and I will do the same for you and your friend. Hang in there. Natalie

joshthefisherman

Very sorry to hear this best wish to you family and his friends

paswed

it will get easier day by day right now his son need you alot trust me they are confussed and need someone to lean on. I know my boys where after my son took his life. it has been a year and some months we have a 1 year old grand baby, a month after our grandbaby turns 2 it will be two years that he has been gone and some days are good and some are bad. mostly good now. I have been where you are at, if you want to pm me you can I don't sleep good at night sometime either

Tazmiche

What a sad tale!!! you have my love at this nasty time. I was sitting here thinking about this, how sad at such a young age etc but then i came to think not just about those he left behind (my main thought and my full love goes out to them)but to him.

To reach a point where taking your own life is the 'best option' must be such a lonely place. The courage and strength to do that is enormous. It is not something i agree with and could never agree to. I hope that the support, love and understanding i send to him reaches him!!

susitna-flower

A HUG for you Drea, I hope you will have a chance to pass it on to the family of your friend.

It SO concerns me, here in the US suicide is rampant, I believe it is a much larger problem than anyone is willing to admit. Have you ever noticed that the cause of death is NEVER listed. If it were ever acknowledged, the health care system would have to put forth money to address the situation.

HOPE is the key. When people loose hope, they hurt, and want to end the hurt.

I feel the first thing we have to do is to listen to others, problem is they never truly open up and tell others how bad they are hurting....So it isn't up to us, except to always be willing to listen.

This is one of the reasons I am so pleased to see people on this forum being willing to listen, and that there are people here tonight that are sharing their hurts with us. As strange as it may seem a fish forum CAN be mental health.

Drea

Gosh, thank you all for such warm responses. I am so glad that I found the FL site. I am feeling so much caring and understanding from all of you. And I know that it's easyfor me to feel like I am the only one that has experienced this type of loss, but to know that so many of you have too, makes me realize that we just have to keep going, and overcome. I am hugging you back

COBettaCouple

That's such a terrible thing and so hard for his family. Our prayers go out to his family in such a sad time.