SereneReyn

i have a 9 year old daughter who is DYING to get her own tank. i've tried to encourage her to be satisfied getting involved with mine, but that's just not doing it for her... and every other day she's deciding what fish she wants to 'breed' (still having no tank of her own yet).
she has over $120 saved up, so she could buy herself a decent little tank (saw a 35g on craigslist for $50 with everything). but i'm pretty nervous about getting her something like this. i absolutely don't want to wind up dealing with it myself. (i don't mind mine, but i knew what kind of commitment it was when i got it, etc - and if i ever got another it would be larger than the one i have now).
i told her that if she could keep her room pretty clean with no reminders, for a month... i'd let her get a tank. does that sound reasonable? she's notoriously bad about cleaning her room... so i'm doubting we'll ever get to that point, but it sounded like a good test of her ability to discipline herself.

i also have concerns about what fish she'll choose... i do want her to decide for herself, but i will put the well-being of the fish first, and not permit her to make choices that would stunt their growth or be completely incompatible, etc... and i'm trying to nix the whole 'breeding' thing... explaining to her that she should not look at it as a source of income (she's all about makin' money, lol), but rather a pleasant surprise if she happens to wind up with babies.

thoughts, anyone?

Shawnie

thats a great incentive...and reminding her just periodically if she slips, cause you know kids will, that if she slips with her room how can she take care of her tank?? my kids stil swear I love my fish more than them...as far as breeding fish, IF she gets her own tank, she will be so happy for that fact that she mite just forget about the breeding part...goodluck

Firecracker

If she saved that much money on her own, I think she'd probably be OK.

I know I was doing the bulk of taking care of my cat when I was that age, but it was easy since we didn't have a litterbox.

FL CommunityFans

No one knows a kid like their parents ! If you don't think she'll last through the cycle process, don't even give in! You know better! You know what will happen ! lol

Maybe you should go ahead and get that bigger aquarium you want, and work with her on it? Both of you do the decoration, deciding on habitat (natural , fancy decor, etc), and then work on fish selections together. Once she understands which fish can get a long with the others, both of you make a long list of candidates and then each circle their favorites and see what kind of blend you get!!

My other idea would be, let her get the tank and do a fishless cycle. If she can manage that, once she has a ready-to-go tank, go ahead and let her look at fish. If she can last through the cycle, she should be good to go from there

Shawnie

wondering can a 9 year old have the patience for a fishless cycle or any cycle for that matter? I know im 41, and going thru the cycle, (of fish that is, not the life cycle LOL) and although im patient, its not easy!!

As kids get older, its harder to do the "grounding" thing..so ive always given or taken things away for goals not met...aka the month of cleaning the room...

Shes an fishaholic in the making I bet !!

hssea

my daugther and my sons (boys share a room) each have a aquarium in their rooms. I have to admit im the one that takes care of the tanks but they have learned alot from asking questions and watching me. they love to lay in bed and look at the fish. my daughters we are upgrading to a 20 gal. she will be helping me and learning along the way, she's 17. maybe i should have started her with total care of the tank sooner, but i just didn't think she was ready for all that comes with owning a tank, but she gained alot of knowledge over the years to be able to do it on her own hopefully with this new tank. so with younger children expect to take care of the tank but they can still help (ie at the youngest age they knew how "little" to feed them and not to put hand, ect in the tanks, unless hands are clean, and soap is very bad, etc...). As they got older they learned about water changes , etc....I believe it has to be a dual project with kids to have a successful tank that the kids enjoy onto adulthood.

SereneReyn

as it is with my 72g, she's ALWAYS bugging me with every little thing the fish do (omg, the snail's on the filter tube!... omg, that angel's eating that plant!... omg, the kuhli's are going crazy!) she always wants to 'help' when i test the water or do a waterchange... she especially wants to feed them, but i've been a little selfish with that, 'cause i don't want to wind up vacuuming tons of crud up after each meal.

so the initial interest is definitely there... but i'm not sure it'll last. oh, and btw... i'm not getting another bigger tank until we move... and as of yet we have no plans to move.

anyway, i just know that right now, i only want to take care of the one tank myself. i'd help her with hers, until she got the hang of it, but the bulk of the care would be up to her. every time we go to the pet store, she looks at tanks and prices and even the costs of decorations or gravel, etc... oh, and she wants to keep it in the living room so that while she's at school i can 'make sure her fish don't die'...

Shawnie

thats so cool...are fish the only animal you have? I know we have a hampster, a leopard gheco, 2 dogs, and of course the 3 tanks...i remember getting lots of animals over the years with the promise "ill take care of them mom"! and we all know where that goes...but I think kids without animals, are missing something..even if just one animal, its part of growing up...IMO, id grab that setup on craigs list anyhoo..its a great deal and who says ya gotta set it up now...she sounds very caring about fish period and thats amazing

SereneReyn

well, no... we have a cat with a mean streak that's older than dirt. and a few years ago we got a hahn's macaw who thinks he's the boss of everything. my husband is trying to persuade me to get a dog when our son gets a little older, but ugh... let's just not go there.

Shawnie

HAHA..well I can tell ya, a dog, specially a puppy, is just like another child...but with the animals you have, maybe your daughter wants something she can call hers...seems the cat could care less and the bird owns everyone lol...(or thinks he does like our chawauwa) ...but pets rock our world..

Blub

SereneReyn

i emailed the couple with the 35g (not a bad size for a first tank!) and got a response that they still have it, tho it's first come, first serve. going to try to go tomorrow morning to get it, and hopefully it'll still be there. but i told her, just because we get it for her doesn't mean she's going to get to set it up! i'm hoping that seeing it sit there empty will really inspire her in regard to her room.

she'll have access to lots of those sites, hatchet, but not without me. if she has questions and stuff, i'll probably just post for her or let her use my ID here. there are too many bad people in the world for me to be comfortable letting her chat with strangers, even on a fish forum. i wouldn't want her getting her own PMs and whatnot.

FL CommunityFans

ditto that on the child access deal. My girls are gonna be able to use the PC as if they were dating.. not til they are 16 and have a car and a job! lol

hssea

HachetHaven, congratulations you sound very responsible and love your pets. Its a great hobby that will last a lifetime. I'll check out some of the other sites you listed not all of them im familiar with. So far fishlore is still my favorite.

hssea

uug, my previous post it tried to attach a previous quote and it came out like an original message. oops. how should i quote a post?

Mike

You can either use the quote button for that particular post or see here on how to quote multiple posts: How do I add multi quotes in a reply

OR use the (quote)quote goes here(/quote) but replace the parantheses with brackets []

hssea

thanks mike. i did it with copy/paste . now i notice its quoted in blue. Did you do that for me. or did i ?

Blub

COBettaCouple

If you feel she's going to follow through, then I'd let her get a tank to start out with. I think it sounds good to have her stick to something she doesn't like doing to test out how deep her commitment goes.

I'd definitely encourage her to do lots of research online with you and set a rule to not have this tank have fish that would be breeding. Maybe you could tell her this is her first tank and after a while maybe she could do fish breeding, but for now it could be a goal to work towards when she's had more experience.

Gargoyle

My daughter is almost 5... So it may not be a fair comparison...

She wanted a fish. So I got her a 10 gallon and equipped it as was needed. She had a ton of interest until it got home and set up... After that it is now a "when they need food" and "when I am trying to take care of it" interest. But like I said she is only 4 so it's not the same. Plus I planned on taking care of the tank.

One thing I can say is that the tank has taught her about life and death in a way words can't which has been a great help in teaching her about such things as birth, death, age, sickness, health, proper pet care, and observation skills.

So all in all it's been a positive experience.

Blub

SereneReyn

the 35g was sold, so i'm still on the lookout for a good deal for her.

Gargoyle

Errr.... Okay....

nanoman923

ananad2
get her a 5 gal IDC

bert2001

My 10 year old wanted his own tank so we got him one. I still do most of the maintnence on it but he did all the research on what to stock it with. He knows how to do water changes (not really fair since we have a python vac) I hook it up and he does the vacuming, then I hit the switch and he fills it back up. We got him a 29 gallon off of craigslist as well. It is teaching him a some responsibility and it makes him feel good to have something of his own that he started from scratch. So far he has only lost one flame tetra and it has been about 5 months.

COBettaCouple

Good luck, I hope you find a great deal for her.

KittieKat

i dont agree with this at all.. i have a male betta in with guppies and they get along just fine... in fact he'd rather go after the tetras when he feels playful

Angela_96

actually for me I guess either my parents were crazy or strict but I was cleaning my cats litter box at that age I remember all too well! I also had an outside dog that I made sure had food and water when I got home from school everyday... My first fish came when I was 14, and at the same christmas when I got that tank (one of those bubble gum machine tanks with one goldfish) I also got a parakeet (that was however the Christmas after I lost my father and I am a big animal person so she showered me with pets I should have went to vet school, now at 30 I am having regrets still)...

But I think its worth a shot but I would get her some hardy fish to be on the safe side and make sure she is doing her water changes and not overfeeding (I would be the kid guilty of that one thinking the poor little fish wasn't getting enough food) but if she has seen you do good tank care then she will do the same.

Blub

tan.b

i'm all for kids getting as involved with pets as possible! i was brought up with alot of pets, and yes.....i was the little kid who nagged for a puppy, then it was up to mum to do most of the looking after which she expected, but it taught me how much care and attention pets need 24-7, so when i got older (about 14 i think) i got a couple of rabbits which were "mine" and i did look after them properly as i knew the amount of time and care they would need before committing to them. unfortunately due to my 6yr old being anaphylactic we cant have any furry animals, so we have fish....initially for him to look after knowing full well he'll feed them once and get bored! however, he does take some interest and as said earlier, he'l learnt about life, death, sickness, treatment, empathy and dedication required. when he's older and can prove to look after one of the tanks by himself for a month or so he can have a tank in his room as his responsibility, but thats a long way off yet i think!
so basically i'd encourage any child who wants a pet, so long as you are there to oversee it and take over if/when required and its a sensible choice (not a horse or something that requires a HUGE amount of time!!!) and get her to read about the nitrogen cycle among other articles on here etc......a science lesson too!
good luck to you both!!! - keep us posted! ;-)