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November 16th, 2009
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| | Moderator
| Dear Dog
Dear Dogs,
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs backside. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
Sincerely,
Your Overwhelmed Owner | 
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November 16th, 2009
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| | Fish Master
| rofl...that's cute! | |
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November 16th, 2009
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| | Fish Master
|  BB, that's too funny. My husband was out of town for a week, and taking care of my two dogs and my cat by myself was soooo overwhelming, so I can totally relate  | |
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November 16th, 2009
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| | Moderator
| We had to train my giant schnauzer to wait at the top of the stairs until we went all the way down and got out of the way! He still loves to race down them! | |
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November 16th, 2009
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| | Fish Master
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That made me smile!! Thank you BB | |
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November 16th, 2009
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| | Fish Keeper
| So funny! Thanks for sharing! | |
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November 16th, 2009
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| | Fish Addict
| Aw, thanks for the laugh... that was cute (and true...) 
Robin | |
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November 16th, 2009
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| | Fish Mentor
| That's really funny...........
We have two dogs, so I also know how true it is............ 
Randy | |
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November 16th, 2009
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| | Fish Helper
| Haha thats great... Reminds me of my Dog i had when i was Young...  | |
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November 17th, 2009
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| | Moderator
| Too cute BB!
Ken | 
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November 17th, 2009
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| | Fish Mentor
|  .....toooooooooooooooooooo funny!!!!! | |
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November 17th, 2009
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| | Fish Helper
| That is so funny and ooooooooo so true!!!
Thanks so much for sharing! | |
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November 17th, 2009
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| | Fish Keeper
| Wow BB that sounds just like my cat. Funny but true. Thanks for the laughs | |
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November 17th, 2009
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| | Fish Keeper
| My woman and I thought buying a king would be good since we could have the two Basset Hounds sleep with us. Well, usually it turns into a mouthing match of who gets to lay between us. With the victor being nice and wet from the drool of the loser. Hopefully we have the covers pulled up or it's another 5minutes of getting them fixed. Then one insists on being under the covers but not completley, usually she wants her head out. It's cute at first but gets annoying after the first month. Oh don't forget the daily chewing, licking, and scratching that usually happens at bed time.
Obviosuly dogs can't lay like humans as in straight. Oh no, they must go sideways so theres another 5minutes of trying to get them at least straight enough so everyone can get some pillow. Oh, did I mention how hot dogs get? I usually have sweat spots from where they pressed up against me. They'll actually scoot their butts until its up against me, firmly.
Now, I have no problem telling people that I end up being spooned by a dog or even being the meat in a dog sandwich (very toasty) so I share my stories. Generally, the dreams they have where they kick or lick isn't nice to wake up too. I like my tummy dry thank you. The best part is waking up in the morning and seeing them as lazy as I am in trying to get out of bed. | |
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November 17th, 2009
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| | Fish Master
| hehehe... | |
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November 17th, 2009
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| | Fish Mentor
| I wish dogs could read...........  | |
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November 17th, 2009
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| | Fish Master
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November 17th, 2009
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| | Fish Mentor
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November 17th, 2009
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| | Fish Keeper
| I'm going to read that to my dog right now! | |
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November 17th, 2009
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| | Fish Mentor
| Yes mom, I heard every word........ | |
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November 18th, 2009
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| | Fish Keeper
| The things we put up with from our 4-legged friends. Your letter to your dogs was hysterical! Thanks. | |
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November 18th, 2009
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| | Moderator
| Quote:
Originally Posted by callichma  The things we put up with from our 4-legged friends. Your letter to your dogs was hysterical! Thanks. | I didn't write that. It was one of those jokes sent via e-mail. I just had to share with my fellow Fishlorians  | |
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November 18th, 2009
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| | Fish Keeper
| Oh well. thanks for sharing. I can sure relate to some of it. | |
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November 24th, 2009
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| | Fish Keeper
| this is soo funny.. i mean was, till i thought who's dogs are like that... oh yeah mine .... :/ | |
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