This is very personal to me and I need you to make me not cry. I'm really struggling...sorry all just please be way funny for me.
My son has been home for a while now. He is 38 and an alcholic....it that is not available he does other things. Contributes nothin to the family.
We told him to seek treatment and he may stay here!! Wrong...he is seeking treatment so he can stay here!!
I called the rehab folks (had him sign a release of info) and they believe he is not seriuos about treatment.
Denial, Denial, Denial...part of the disease.
and us?? Enablers, enablers, enablers......
So now we must ask him to leave...go somewhere...do what you want but not at our house. He needs to go out with his denials and fall so hard that he will ask for help...crawl into a hospital or somewhere and ask.
OMG we are his parents and love him but it is time to turn our backs in love for his sake.
I wish no one here on earth ever has to go thru that. I'm sorry but needed to get it out...forgive me..got to go am cryng.
im not really a 'cheery' kind of person so i wont even attempt. i will say that i agree with what you are doing. just because you want what is best for him, doesnt mean that he does. he wont be able to tackle his problem until he wants what is best for himself.
have you ever watched the show Intervention? i think you are doing the right thing here.
This kind of thing always make me feel bad...i so want to help people even if its not what they need. So i KIND of feel your pain...but i have never had to kick one of my children out of my house...i think that would shatter me....shake me to my very foundation...That just so sad im sorry there is NOTHING funny about it...hope thing look up for you soon.
My parents and I had to do the same thing with my older brother who was a functioning alcoholic for years; we didn't know the extent of it until he came and lived with us. My parents were always bailing him out for the sake of his daughter, but that really only allowed him to keep drinking. Finally they had to let him go and watch from a distance. It wasn't until he nearly lost custody of his daughter that he finally sought treatment.
It is painful and heartbreaking and scary, but it is the best thing and only thing you can do to help your son. I'm so sorry you are suffering through this. Please don't give up. My brother has now been sober for four years. Your son can make it!
I agree that you're doing what needs to be done, both to give your son a chance to realize his mistakes and for you to have a chance to put your own life back together.
As far as lightening things up, this is about the greatest video clip that I can think of that's Fishlore-friendly.
Hello Ted. Hang in there I believe it's called "tough love". Actually I admire you for what you have done. As some have mentioned, some people just have to hit rock bottom before they realize they need help.
Wishing you and your family the best!
Ken
<hugs>
Sometimes hitting the bottom is the only way. I had a similar "denial issue" not drugs or alcohol or anything but I was kicked out of my university collage b/c of my marks and that's what it finally took to get my stuff togeather. My parents were great and supportive but some of us just need to run into the wall before we can see it to climb over.
<superhugs to you and your family>
Thank you all...It just hit me this morning....maybe we were bad parents and what did we do wrong?? I know thats not true We teach our children but at some point they can use what we teach or choose not to. It's so hard making that tough love decision, and he wont understand until he seeks and accepts help.
So to keep this in FISHlore I guess I can say that he still hasn't cycled, and we need to do all we can and be patient til the alchol drops to Zero.
Thanks to everyone so much and sorry...I needed to get that out.
To moderators ...please don't store this thread...can you delete tomorrow and thank you.
You are a wonderful parent so please dont blame yourself. What you´re doing is for his own good. Like it´s been said above, it is necessary to hit rock bottom. This may sound out of place, but i find it one of the best quotes. Do you remember the movie, BATMAN BEGINS? Before Bruce´s parents die, he said something very important....
" Why do we fall bruce?... So we can learn to pick ourselves up..."
i find that quote very useful. Now, to make you feel better, go to youtube and type in:
Funny Falls
Funny cats ( man they do so many funny things it is my fav!)
Funny Dogs
and the list is endless!
also, i have inclueded here some funny album cover pics that may give you a giggle <---- my fav! hahaha gotta love that hair!
Some other pics
Hang in ther buddy!
Last edited by Tony G.; October 8th, 2009 at 05:55 PM.
To moderators ...please don't store this thread...can you delete tomorrow and thank you.
It is currently midnight. I'll probably end up sleeping until ten or so. If you don't change your mind by then, I certainly will.
I usually don't like the idea of closing or deleting threads just because the original poster no longer has use for them, however, this thread is for you and only for you, so if you don't want it here, I'm certainly willing to disappear it.
thanks again everyone
Sir...you can leave the thread if it might help someone else. I'm getting used to it being here, just felt so vulnerable and exposed. It did help me to get it all out, besides to few family members. I usually don't mind talking about anything, but this one was deep for me and hurts...a different pain...mental anguish.
I actually have quite a few friends who are alcoholics. I know exactly the kind of frustration you're feeling.
I have one friend who even SAID he was an alcoholic and started taking medicine to help him stop...but then he said drinking was "too habitual" and went back to drinking. I was, and still am speechless.
I think I would do exactly the same thing as you, there's no other way to make them see through their justifications.
Best wishes to you and your family. To me everybody on here is part of my extended family and we seem to help each other with more than just fish problems. If you ever need to just let it out I am sure somebody will be on here more than willing to listen. As hard as it may be know that you are doing the right thing...he has to help himself and he has to realize the problem before he will do that.
Thank you, Thank you all again....just feel like I have let it all out to the world!! (i guess not a bad thing) Luv you all for support. I'm getting better with this, but have trouble reading it all again.
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I'm so sorry you are suffering through this. Please don't give up. My brother has now been sober for four years. Your son can make it!
I believe it's called "tough love". Actually I admire you for what you have done. As some have mentioned, some people just have to hit rock bottom before they realize they need help. 
