hi and welcome to fishlore!
the "best" substrate really depends on what you're stocking, however i prefer sand to gravel, specifically pool filter sand rather than play sand (the pool filter sand is heavier and smoother, less likely to clog your filter). sand is a lot easier to clean, since the waste can't make it's way to the bottom like it can with gravel, you can easily get it all up with your gravel vacuum. as far as how much, it's really a personal preference. i don't like a very deep substrate, i usually go with no more than 1.5-2 inches, but some people like more.
if you're planning on live plants, what kind of lighting do you have? live plants generally work better with gravel than sand because sand can compact and prevent the roots from growing, but i've found that pool filter sand doesn't compact like play sand does so it should be just fine.