fishlover78

Hi everyone, long story short about two weeks ago my sister went out and bought a two gallon aquarium at Petco, after many arguments and sibling rivalry she still doesn't listen, she has decided to listen to the idiot at petsmart in charge of the fish (who I watched sell someone 2 bala sharks and 10 guppies a few weeks back) department for information. when she got this thing she was sold 5 guppies with it, they all died of ICH within a week which she refused to believe, after that she came home with more guppies, well they died, not she has come home with of all fish, PAINTED TETRAS!!!!!!!!! I am disgraced to live in a house where these fish are kept!! she also purchased a fiddler crab which tries to catch the other fish, she also refuses to go to my friend's local pet shop. I have tried and all efforts to get her to listen or join fishlore have failed. she also overfeeds them and doesn't change the water she just "tops the tank off" with more water when it gets low. oh well, I guess this is just me venting my feelings on here. I quit trying with her!

Narcicius

that sucks, she sounds younger so that is a valid (if not sad) excuse for poor care. Hopefully she will realize that fish are just as much if not more responsibility than a typical mammal, and their lives mean just as much. if not just let her blow all her money on tortured animals. Keep pressuring her but don't show her that your mad. She could be looking for attention in this case, and wait it out as best you can. Just remember to inform her of her actions and what she should do.

fishlover78

YES IT DOES SUCK! I cam home and wanted to blow up, but I didn't and yes, she's younger then me. I just don't even look anymore when I pass the thing, but honestly who really thinks that fish come in fluorescent colors that are "natural" ? how long do you think it'll be til she learns how to properly care for fish?

Emory

Right Narcicius! And don't forget to continue to lead by example.

fishlover78

well, she doesn't follow me because my fish all died of ich over the summer, I did what I could and treated them and really cared for them, I had those guppies for 3 years, and then I bought some more guppies and that was the beginning of the aquatic bubonic plauge

capekate

little sisters hardly ever listen to big brother... its in their nature not too
You may try getting her to come to fishlore and do some reading up if she wont listen to you.
Either that or after she keeps loosing fish she may realize that the folks at the LFS she is listening to is not steering her in the right direction.
Can you talk to your parents about the problem and see if they can intervene for you?
EDIT: OPPS.. if you are not a 'big brother' but a 'big sister'.. have no way of telling your gender.. sorry.

fishlover78

thanks for the good suggestion capekate, but I already tried that, my Mom and Dad's parent's both raised cichlids when they were kids, and no offense but the are stuck in "old school" fish keeping, they don't believe anything new, chemicals, or fish less cycling, I am going to let it go, when the time comes she'll learn, sigh

Red1313

<hugs>
That's a rough spot to be in.

fishlover78

yep, it is I'm stuck in a rut

pinkfloydpuffer

Oh man, that really stinks.
Luckily I'm the first in my family to get into fish, so everyone in my family trusts my fishy judgement. If I ever get them to start up a tank, I'm sure they'd listen to me.
I'm sure it's very hard to bite your lip and let her find out that your advice is the one you should be following. But, there's only so much you can do.

fishlover78

It does, I will reign with patience among all of them! My Mom listens, but my Dad and Sister don't, they will eventually learn when my Mom starts up her tank, I gave her my old 27 perfecto gallon hex on a real oak stand, (I was broke when I originally bought it for myself) and she wants to keep a few marble angels, it'll be a fun bonding experience. hey, I guess there's a bright side to everything. I was down in the dumps when I originally posted because I had just got home and seen the disgusting dyed fish.

pinkfloydpuffer

I hope your mom's tank works out well.

fishlover78

so do I, and we will cycle it fishlessly! (is that a word?)

pinkfloydpuffer

It is now

fishlover78

MrsM3197

Fishlover, I truly feel your pain! LOL!!! A very popular person said a very long, long time ago, "if they wish to remain ignorant, let them remain ignorant". I've found that to be true in a lot of aspects of life...up to and including fishkeeping. We can hold out advice, help, and support, it's up to them if they choose to take it. Kinda like you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Best of luck to you all with your Mom's tank, she'll be so blessed to work it with you!

pepetj

It's not just that your sister is not listening to you. She might be sensing hostility coming from you.

She believes the LFS knows more than you. She might have sensed sympathy coming from him/her.

Well, what can I tell you? These guys make a living "pushing sales" of fish, most of them are quite good at that, but just a few are knowledgeable and caring for what they sale.

On the other hand. These dyed animals are innocent victims of unfair ways of making money. These particular Tetras your sister have at home deserve to live too. Even more due to all that they endured to make it to this day.

Maybe if you offer her a hand in tank maintenance and work your bond with her, she might turn receptive of your message. For us humans, when we communicate with people close to us, communication is not just data transfer. The emotional tone of our words might have more impact that the info they carry.

Also keep in mind personality differences are just that: differences. If you have more curiosity and sense for responsible caring of your fish than she seems to display, that makes you better suited for responsible fishkeeping than her, but not a better person. She might excel you in other areas, like aquascaping.

Draw your line as for healthy limits: remember that limits is something you put on yourself not impose on others. These are her fish to care, whatever she decides you need to learn to cope with it. Be realistic. How may Oscars are now housed in 30gal tanks? How many juveniles iridiscent sharks or pacus are being sold for keeping in a 55gal?

You are a responsible fishkeeper, I know that, I read your posts when you decided to take some time off. I know you lost your fish. I know how that hurts. Ick has killed some of mine too, as some mistakes I have made too.

Maybe giving a hand to your sister's dyed Tetras is what you need to do now. She is way more important than any fish in the end.

Just a thought.

Pepe
Santo Domingo

Dozey

Perhaps you could try asking her for advice rather then offering advice. It just might encourage her to do a little research to “help you”. I feel your pain, I’m going through the same thing with my wife.

soldieroffortune1974

That's between a rock and a hard place if ever I saw 1.I can feel your pain. My sister has fish,she even calls me for advice,then does the complete opposite of what I tell her. So I definitely know what you're going through. You're not alone in that department, believe me.

The hardest thing to do is give advice when it's not wanted.The reverse-psychology mentioned by Dozey might help,I think I might try it myself. I normally end up changing the water for her when I go over there,vacuum the gravel,and so on.She always says I go over there to see the fish more than her (I never answer that) LOL

SO hang in there.Persistance and patience eventually pays off.