OK mrv....Let's see if we can't get you straightened out. First, my recommendation would be to read these in detail..
http://www.fishlore.com/WaterChemistry.htm...
http://www.fishlore.com/NitrogenCycle.htm These will give you a great explanation of aquarium water chemistry and what it is all about.
Next....You can cycle your tank with fish. Most recommend a hardy fish such as zebra danios. You must have a tank heater (adjustable are recommended) to allow you to control the temperature of your water. I use two thermometers. Somethink it's overkill, but if both read the same temp then I know that my heater is working correctly and the thermometers are as well. I use a bulb type that sticks on the inside of the tank with a suction cup and an LCD type that sticks to the outside of the tank with an adhesive back.
Fill your tank with tap water treated with a water conditioner such as "Prime" or "Amquel+". These water conditioners will detoxify chemicals that are toxic to fish that will build up in the water as the tank cycles. Using these water conditioners helps to keep these chemicals called ammonia and nitrites in check, however, you cannot allow the levels to build up or the fish can die. You keep these levels in check during the cycle by performing regular water changes of about 25%. The goal is to keep the ammonia and nitrites at less than 1. You can test your own water with a test kit. Many of us here use and recommend the Aquarium Pharmaceuticals Freshwater Master Test Kit. You can get them on line at Petsmart.com. They will also usually honor the on line price (typically less than $20) at the store with a print out of their on line ad.
Each time you do a water change you add the recommended amount of water conditioner to your clean water. This way as the ammonia and nitrites build they are less toxic to the fish. The goal is to keep the fish comfortable during the cycle period and doing these things will help that.
Eventually you will see the ammonia spike. Next, the ammonia will subside and the nitrites will spike. After this happens you will eventually see the ammonia disappear, the nitrites disappear and then nitrates - beneficial to the water chemistry, but still toxic to fish - will appear. You want to keep your nitrate levels at less than 20. You would do this by performing water changes of 25-30% weekly. Once only nitrates are present in the water you can add more fish. Add them a few at a time over the course of a few weeks to avoid sending your tank into a mini cycle.
There is also an apparatus called a syphon or gravel vacuum. This will assist in keeping the excess waste and uneaten food from building up in your tank and throwing your water chemistry into a tizzy. You should vacuum the gravel when performing your water changes after the tank has cycled. I usually do 1/3 per week.
Of course this is a pretty condensed version of what happens during your cycle, but it should be enough info to get you started. Oh, and one more thing....Try to avoid overfeeding your fish as this can cause problems down the road and do not clean your filter or change the pad that is inside. You are trying to colonize bacteria that are beneficial to the water chemistry. If you change the filter pad you will be destroying the very bacteria you are trying to colonize.
Remember, we're here to help!!