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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Master
| I know this has been brought up on here recently...
I have noticed a lot of bickering back and forth on here. This is one of my favorite forums to get on for the simple reason everyone on here is so friendly. Lately I have noticed a lot of questions being asked, then when you answer them there are a lot of people with different opionions taking direct blows at you, not in a constructive way, but in a rude fashion.
I just wanted to point this out, this is such a great fish forum, and friendly place and not the place for arguing and picking back and forth between people. | 
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| Yep, thats exactly why I made this thread.... Rudeness... | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Master
| I knew I wasn't the only one who has noticed it lately. I have been scanning the forum more lately than posting for that reason, thats not me. I usually post a ton on here. I have been a member since Jan of this year and this is the least I have been posting. | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| I believe RandomKayos has been refraining from posting for the same reason... | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Master
| I have noticed a lot of members not posting on here that were regulars. | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| I'm glad someone else spoke up other than myself, cheers for your bravery  | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Master
| Thanks, I just hope that it returns to normal around here! | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Moderator
| Quote:
Originally Posted by steveangela1  I have noticed a lot of members not posting on here that were regulars. | I know for a fact that at least 1 member has taken a break for fear of being called rude.
The pattern I see is when someone has a difference of opinion and instead of seeing it as just that, people are taking it personally.
Also, sternness is being misinterpreted rudeness. | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Master
| I actually haven't noticed any rudeness at all. Then again I don't look at every post either. | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| I definitely think there are 2 different things going on - most of us could think a little more carefully about how we word our comments so that they do not sound rude, but we should all realize that it is hard to know how someone means something when all we see is written text. Overall, I think this is a great forum and I enjoy everyone here very much!  | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| a difference of opinions is what makes a forum valuable. if we all agreed about everything all the time, what would be the point. every post would be Yep, me too.
there are many different ways to go about fish keeping and some methods work for some and some for others.
maybe the delivery of a differing opinion is not as soft as you would like it, and maybe we could all work on that, to be kind and respectful, even if we don't agree.
and while we're on the suject of differing opinions, i'd like to say something i've always been afraid to say. ......
We us TEST STRIPS  YIKES!!!
i see many, many, many posts saying you must only use an API master test kit. and YES we have one and we use it sometimes, but most of the times we use the strips for 11 tanks with no problems. and YIKES, fish stores use them too!
i've always been afraid to say this for fear i would get the lecture of they're not accurate....etc. but hey, you can just say, i prefer the API, but if strips work for you, cool....
anyways, i still think most of the info and posts here are friendly and helpful and that any semblence of rudeness is just frustration not expressed very well. but i'm glad people are feeling OK to speak up about what's on their minds. | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| Quote:
Originally Posted by MinxMermaid and while we're on the suject of differing opinions, i'd like to say something i've always been afraid to say. ......
We us TEST STRIPS YIKES!!! |  You almost made me spit my coffee out! | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsmuffin You almost made me spit my coffee out! |  True confessions!!
maybe everyone should just say what they've been afraid to say....
then we can have a good ole brawl  | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Moderator
| Minx, why would you be afraid to tell people who have good readings with test strips?  I don't recommend the strips for 1 reason.
Personal experience.
I used 2 different brand of test strips and got 2 different answers.
Then I tested with my API kit and got a 3rd different reading.
So I took a sample to a LFS who use the liquid test kit and they came up with the same readings as my API kit. | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Addict
| Quote:
Originally Posted by MinxMermaid True confessions!!
maybe everyone should just say what they've been afraid to say....
then we can have a good ole brawl | I'll be the first to come out then. I've been keeping a 10" oscar in a 10 gallon tank... | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| Quote:
Originally Posted by MinxMermaid True confessions!! | This probably would make a great thread on it's own! 
I have a CAE in my 30 gallon tank that I bought when I didn't know what I was doing... He is only a couple of inches right now, but I don't know what I am going to do with him when he get's bigger and aggressive.  | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| Quote:
Originally Posted by MinxMermaid and while we're on the suject of differing opinions, i'd like to say something i've always been afraid to say. ......
We us TEST STRIPS YIKES!!!
. | I needed that....it cracked me up also!!!
Val | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| Wow, two threads on rudeness in just a few days and clinton is involved in both...!
Okay, clinton. I apologize for casting aspersions on the humidity level in Ohio. You are right - Houston couldn't possible be as bad. Forgive me? Can we be friends again? | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| Quote:
Originally Posted by MousePotato Wow, two threads on rudeness in just a few days and clinton is involved in both...!
Okay, clinton. I apologize for casting aspersions on the humidity level in Ohio. You are right - Houston couldn't possible be as bad. Forgive me? Can we be friends again? | Never lol! You know I didnt take that seriously | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| I know. It was just too funny that I added to that thread and the very next one I saw was about rude postings. Then I saw this one. I just couldn't resist ribbing you a bit. | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| How did you figure it out! I was hoping you wouldnt notice it was about you.... foiled again lol | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucy I know for a fact that at least 1 member has taken a break for fear of being called rude.
The pattern I see is when someone has a difference of opinion and instead of seeing it as just that, people are taking it personally.
Also, sternness is being misinterpreted rudeness. | I dont know why anyone would have a fear of being called rude, unless they thought that they themselves were or have been rude  Simply put, if youre not rude, then nobody is going to say that you are 
I totally agree with you on the taking things personally, I have gotten into debates sometimes myself... but I never really took any of it personally, after all it was a debate about fish and fishkeeping, which in that aspect, no two people are always going to have the same opinion or answer about. The difference comes with people saying, "this is the law and no other way could possibly be right because I or someone else I know said so" ... when in fact, there are and always have been variables and different ways to do things in fishkeeping =)
I also dont believe that anyone needs to be stern really to get a point across, sternness is walking the line of being rude... which inevitably leads to blatant rudeness. Being polite and helpful in getting your point across will gain you much more respect and credibility than telling them they have to do it this way or that way because you said so. | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | King of Curt
| I believe the 2 or 3 or more rudeness threads have pretty much come to a concensus of "Lets all give a little and come together with the common goal of friendship to make this place as happy and helpful as possible."
So... with all that has been said in the several threads, can we all agree that something positive has come from all of this hard-topic discussion and perhaps put this behind us? I, for one, am hoping that this is a discussion that doesn't have to occur again, and if we all try to work together and be mindful of other people's feelings and the fact that text messages aren't able to easily convey feeling/emotion, then perhaps we will not have to deal with this very much in the future. | |
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Keeper
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September 17th, 2008
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| | Fish Master
| Thank you all...
This is just one of my favorite forums, and I wanted to keep it that way! | |
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September 18th, 2008
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| | Fish Addict
| Just saw this thread and decided to say what I think. I am a little hesitant to give advise or suggest certain things because I am afraid of be "bluntly corrected". Not that anyone is mean on here but some people seem to think there is only one way and anything but that way is wrong so I sometimes keep my advise to myself on subjects I know some moderators or regulars disagree with me on (dont get me wrong they are full of great information and are very helpful). Im not going to leave the forum or stop posting, nor do I think that this is a "mean people" forum by any means, it just doesnt contain the diversity of valid opinions that are really out there about the broad understudied subject of aquariums and fish. If someone has an off-the-wall opinion I want to hear it, discuss it to death if need be, and then let me make my own desicion and use our new rating system to rate it after I try it.... does that make sense  | |
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