hooxeii

I have to make a persuasive speech for my class, and I've decided to do something related to bettas. My first inclination was to speak about how bettas do best in bigger tanks, or about how fighting bettas is cruel. I thought about doing a speech on how bettas are good pets for college students but thought better of it... some of my classmates should not be in charge of any living thing whatsoever!

What do you guys think? Which one should I do?

Amanda

I'd do the bettas in actual tanks. So many people think that they can live in bowls, a speech on it would be great!

hooxeii

That was my inclination too I thought with that one I could cover ammonia buildup/brief explanation of the nitrogen cycle (have to remember that 'round these parts, I'm kinda the resident fish expert... and that's sad... but people won't understand what that is), the origins of the small bowl myths, etc... sound good?

*is a huge dork*

Lucy

Great idea! You never know, something might actually sink in.

Is that a bad thing?

Martinismommy

What a great idea! Post it when you are done I'd like to read it....

bolivianbaby

I agree with the bettas doing better in tanks, especially for a persuasive speech. I'm sure it'll turn out fanastic, and yes please, do post it when you're done

sirdarksol

Sounds like an excellent topic. I'm doing something similar for my Advanced Writing project. Just talking about the project has had a bigger impact than I could have hoped for. I'm sure you'll find the same thing.

ags2083

sounds like a smart idea! Include the part that "lava lamps" are also not suitable housing. You would be suprised how many college students think this is cool! gah.......

thorpbrian

Try to mention something about goldfish too. Like how the common goldfish that are commonly given away as prizes actually need a minimum of a 20 gallon tank, can live 20 years and get to 18" long...

hooxeii

I would absolutely love to mention goldies as well, and intend to, but I have a time limit :/ We have to fit 6 speeches into one 50 minute class period, and thus far the betta portion alone is gonna be stretching it. I consider the version I'm about to share de-brained a bit too... Believe me, if I have the time, I WILL be covering goldies

Here is what I've got so far, please critique this for mistakes. Keep in mind that I have to kind of tone the thing down for the average college kid :/

Attached Files

fishies.doc (33.5 KB, 11 views)

hooxeii

Grr... already noted several mistake in the nitrrogen cycle portion :/ "Nitrates aren't dangerous"... durr... this is why i shouldn't do rough drafts at night.

callichma

Very informative. Let us know how your presentation is received.

fishtroy

Go for it! Good luck!

hooxeii

Thanks for all of the compliments, you guys are really too nice

But seriously, if there's anything wrong with this, be it a fact or figure or whatever, please let me know. I don't want to tell people the wrong stuff

thorpbrian

Speech classes are always fun. I once did speeches on "the stupid people you run into in customer service jobs" and "how, by the definition of racism, affirmative action is the most racist thing the government has done since the before the abolition of slavery" (think about it affirmative action takes every single person, puts them in a category by race and treats them accordingly). Interesting reactions to say the least.

Also, when you say "Unlike goldfish, which show stunted growth in small tanks", I'd add "that shortens their life span from over 10 years to usually several months at best". I think this would add a powerful statement as to how much bowls shorten a fish's life. Just a suggestion. I know your on a time restraint but it'd probably only add 2 secs but more substance.

aquarist48

Hello Hooxeii. I've made a few suggestions and corrections that I feel are necessary. My mom was an English teacher and I also took Speech in high school.

I was always taught to avoid contractions (you've, isn't can't etc) when possible, when it comes to public speaking. I dislike the sentence "You've got almost no room to move" "You have little room to move", would be better.
Change "once must understand" to "one must understand" (typo)

. "They obviously cannot do this of their home is only slightly larger than they are".

Should read: They obviously cannot do this as their home is only slightly larger than themselves.

"But the bacteria are not done yet… some of them will consume those nitrites, converting them into harmless nitrates. These nitrates can then be absorbed by live plants in the aquarium, or can be left to"

I don't think a sentence should start with "but". "However, the bacteria are not done." would sound better. There is no need for "yet" on the end of the sentence.

I would change "live plants" to "living plants" in the above sentence.
You've stated that nitrates are harmless when infact they can be harmful in large quantities.

Great job! Please let us know how everything goes!
Ken

sirdarksol

Edit: nevermind my last comment. You kept it cohesive enough, I think.

Edit the second: Here's a copy of your paper with my notes included (it's the way I'm used to going over another's work.)

Attached Files

fishies-darksols notes.doc (92.5 KB, 2 views)

Meenu

Your speech is really good! Very impassioned. I'm impressed.

hooxeii

Thanks for all the suggestions guys Really helps!