welshalien

I’m not sure where to start this thread – but I feel closest to you folks on the betta board so I’ll put it here and let the mods move it if necessary.

In January, I started back in the aquarium hobby after many years away. I rapidly progressed from a single 10 gallon tank to 7 tanks; 4 of which are betta tanks (full blown MTS!). I got so much enjoyment out of taking care of my finny friends. I also had a full complement of family (husband, grown son) and furries (2 ferrets, a dog and a cat).

In early August, while my husband was visiting his parents in Wyoming, the company both my son and I work for announced that it was moving manufacturing to China within the next 9 months to a year (bye-bye jobs). Two days later, my 8-year-old Rottweiler, Roxanne, woke up paralyzed and was diagnosed with bone cancer. After surgery, she appeared to be on the mend and was learning to walk again when I found one of my ferrets dead in his cage one morning. A week later (Aug. 27, my wedding anniversary), Roxie fractured her spine at the surgery site and I had to have her put to sleep. Through all this, my fish and their homes kept me occupied and relatively sane.

My husband got home mid-September and, within 24 hours, went out and bought two 10-week-old Rottie pups. And I’ve completely lost interest in my aquariums – somedays I forget to feed the fish or turn on their lights and routine maintenance has gone out the window. I can’t seem to find the energy or the inclination to CARE about doing what I used to love doing.

I guess what I’m wondering is if anyone else has experienced this sudden lack of interest in their fish? Any suggestions on how to regain interest or should I look into finding new homes for the tanks and their occupants? Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post.

Kelly

capekate

Hi Kelly
Tho I do not know you well, and I mean to take no offense, but is it possible that with all that is going on in your life right now, that you may be suffering from depression? The lack of energy or interest is a symptom. With the world economy as it is, the lack of jobs and the loss of jobs as well, would make anyone depressed, along with loosing a beloved family pet.
Now, thinking of the fish, it is important to at least feed them, they do not know what you are going through right now and are defenseless. They depend on us. Have you talked to your husband about how you are feeling? Can he help out with water changes and feeding til you feel better?
If you are sure that you do not want to take the time to care for the fish tanks anymore, it may be a good idea to find homes for your fish and tanks. That will be one less thing on your mind to worry about. I am sure those little cutie pie Rotties are keeping you pretty busy!
I hope you feel better soon.

jdhef

I think that Kate has given you some very good advice.

It can be overwhelming when a lot of bad things happen, and loss of interest can be a sign of depression. I'm no psychologist (heck, I cant even spell it), but I believe I have heard that occupation is a great remedy for getting over depression. So if you think you are depressed, then focusing on your aquarium could be a path to feeling better. Also, if you think you are suffering from depression, there is no reason not to see a doctor.

Good luck!

P.S. Here's a little something to help cheer you up

Lucy

With all you've gone through, it's no wonder you're feeling the way you do.
I agree, you should sit with your doctor and talk about this.

Red1313

<hugs> That's a tough decision to make. I don't have any deep words of wisdom for you though. My tanks are my little bit of Happy when I'm having a really bad week of classes or anything. There might be times when I get really busy or am having a bad week waking up in time that my boys and girls may only get fed once or something but I think I would go a little insane without them at times.
I hope you're feeling better soon and whatever you decide is you're decision.
<hugs>

Pandora

I went through a bad time when my ex broke up with me for the first time. We were both into fish, and with him having been a bad influence and all in that department, I had a LOT of fish and tanks to care for, and no energy or will to look after them anymore. I agree with the people who have suggested that depression might be involved, and I really wish I'd talked to someone at the time rather than trying to hide how bad things were and muddle through on my own. I ended up losing a few fish to neglect, and still am kicking myself for that to this day, though it did at least get me back on track looking after the ones I had, but it took me a long time to really get back to myself again and find the same joy in my life and my fish I had before.
If you think that's not it, that you're just moving on to other interests, then you're probably better to rehome at least some of your fish and stick with a number you are better able to manage with everything else that's going on in your life right now.
Good luck with everything! If nothing else you at least know you're not alone

welshalien

Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement and support. I've dealt with depression before but hadn't connected that with how I feel now because it hasn't seemed to affect any other aspect of my life (yet). Now that you guys pointed the possibility out to me, I will definitely discuss things with my doctor before it gets worse.

Kate -- So far, I've only just forgotten one feeding a day here and there (would remember in the morning, forget at night, next day remember both times) so it hasn't gotten to where I'm SERIOUSLY neglecting the fish (thank goodness). I had talked to my husband about things and hadn't gotten any feedback from him at all until last night. Since I started with the aquariums, he's always been very hands off (in fact, said at the beginning, "I like them as long as I don't have to do anything with them"). Last night, out of the blue (and without him knowing I'd brought this up on the board), he asked if I'd teach him how to help me do the water changes so I didn't have to give up my tanks. Needless to say, I was astonished but we're going to start this weekend.

Thank you all again for your support. I'll let you know how things go (there will probably be at least one funny story about teaching hubby the water change thing!).

Kelly

Darlene

I'm sorry to hear you are not feeling yourself. It sounds like you have had one bad thing after another happen. Good luck teaching hubby about the water changes. We are here for you if you need to vent.

capekate

good morning Kelly
I was sure you were not neglecting the fish to the point of not feeding them at all. I do understand how we can get under the weather and forgot a feeding. The fish will not be hurt without it once in a while. Since we all do feed our fish probably more than they ever find in the wild lol...
My Betta's at times only get one feeding a day, the other guys in the community would revolt and attack each other over bad moods if I missed feeding them tho! haha. I wouldnt want to let my little cardinals be thought of as fish food if I neglected to feed that tank.
My husband also at the beginning of my fish keeping bought all the supplies, fish etc etc, but said that the rest was up to me. But it wasnt long after that he was the one carrying the water change buckets for me, while I did the tank cleaning. Im so happy that your husband will help out, it is a big job for one person to take care of.
I wish you all the best! ~ kate

Allie

When I first got that terrible parasite. I lost compete interest in keeping fish. But everyone here on Fish Lore helped thru it and now I am back on track.
I have a mood disorder so I know what it feels like not to feel 100%.
It'll soon past and hopefully you will be feeling back to yourself.

Angelwhispers

I'm sorry to hear about everything that you're going through right now. It never rains but it pours right?

I fight clinical depression and so I know what it's like to lose interest in things. But strange as it seems, my crazy cats and my aquarium give me an excuse for getting out of bed in a morning. Before I had my cats and my Aquarium, I would literally hide in bed all day, I had no energy for anything.

I think people have mostly given you the same advice as I would - talk to your doctor before it gets worse, and let those around you help. You don't have to do everything alone. If you feel a need to vent, do so. We here will always listen and try to help any way we can.

Just because we've never met, doesn't mean we don't care

Hang in there!

Allie

I can totally relate with what you said here. If it wasn't for my cats for sure, since they are the ones who harass me when there is no food, or a stinky litter box. My love of my pets keeps me going.

pamelakt

Could it not just be the pups? They are very demanding. I used to keep rats & when I got my dog without meaning to I lost interest in them because she just took up so much of my time. After my last rat died I've not had any other pets & am only now starting to think of getting a Betta because I just felt I wouldn't have the time to devote to another animal as all my spare time seems to mostly go on my dog.

Perhaps when the pups have settled down you will find the passion will come back for your fishies.