I'm so sorry Tazmiche.
Let it all out, take your time. I honestly believe all of us here understand your grieve, I have had (and surely will again, hopefully not today) my share of crying over their death, even if expected.
Do you see the bunch of Red-Salmon Rainbows in my Avatar? Of those seven ones, only three remain alive, and if I can't get the
chiller working in time, I might loose them as well. I blame no one, at least not myself, since I did -and bet you too- all in my knowledge to provide propper care.
Good thing you have Stan and Tudor, let them confort you too. Hope you get a new dog soon, not to replace Taz, but to honor his memory.
Pepe
Santo Domingo
PS: Where are the pics of Stan and Tudor? please share them with us.